What He Wants
by SilentCynara
Summary: Sakura and Syaoran are separated by space and time after they fail the Final Judgment. Many years later they have found each other again, but there are new threats to their love now that they have begun to regain the memories of those lost years.
1. Prologue

**Author's notes: I do not own CCS, only the plot that proceeds from the Last Judgment onwards in this fic.**

**Many thanks to parma-violets ("Void") and Blatant Subtleties ("The Ice Princess") for helping shape this story.**

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_What if S&S failed the Final Judgment? "There is a price to be paid for your interference, even if you did it because you loved her. Now you two must be separated by space and time until you can somehow find your way to each other again."_

* * *

**Prologue: Broken**

"Don't! Don't interfere!" A golden winged tiger, Cerberus the Appointer by name, blocked a young tousle-haired boy with amber eyes named Syaoran Li as he pulled out an ofuda and prepared to assist the green-eyed girl whom he had fallen in love with.

High above them, at the mid-section platform of the Tokyo Tower, Sakura Kinomoto, last remaining candidate for Master of the Clow Cards, struggled to escape the silver-haired, winged Yue, Judge of the Clow Cards, as he fired ice bolts and struck her again and again with his hands.

She was unable to fight back immediately, terrified that she would hurt Yue and in the process, his false form Yukito Tsukishiro, whom she was infatuated with.

Syaoran could not close his eyes. Though they were over a hundred meters above the ground and they were at the nearby temple, Sakura and Yue's voices were magnified magically, carrying to him, Sakura's best friend—the raven-haired, violet-eyed Tomoyo, Cerberus, and their mysterious teacher Kaho Mizuki.

Though Sakura had once been Syaoran's rival for control of the Clow Cards—and indeed, he had just failed his own test under Yue, his heart no longer considered her that way. Seeing her battered by the cruel silver-haired judge was more than he could take.

"If you interfere," the tiger continued, reading the brown-haired Syaoran's expression correctly, "she automatically loses!"

Syaoran clenched his fists around all of his ofudas and mentally cursed. What kind of test was that, especially for a child like Sakura? _**She's only eleven!**_

It of course escaped him at the moment that he, as well, was eleven.

Above them, in the shadow of Tokyo Tower's first deck, Sakura was slowly being wrapped in vicious tendrils of vine as a silver-haired winged man coldly said, "It is over. You have lost. Now comes the tragedy of the world."

"And what is that?" she gasped.

"Everyone involved with the Cards loses their feeling of love for the one they value the most."

And with a wave of his hand, he sent her into the nightmare of a world without love, what he considered a fit prison for a girl who was destined to control dreams.

When she screamed, it was heart-rending in its sheer pain; the red-haired teacher Kaho Mizuki gasped, and began to run towards the Tower, carrying a strangely-shaped purple-tasseled bell. It had been sent to her to give Sakura a second chance.

But before she could reach the girl who, incredibly, was fighting back, Syaoran, unable to bear the thought of not loving, not even knowing Sakura, cursed. He pulled out an ofuda before anyone could stop him. With a loud "Raitei! Shourai!" he summoned his most powerful spell, ignoring the cost to himself. A mighty bolt of thunder shattered the magical barrier around the Tower, and struck Yue, shredding his feathers and sending him plummeting towards the ground.

Both Mizuki and Cerberus gasped, half in awe and half in dismay. While Syaoran's spell had been incredible—spells being reinforced by emotions and feelings, and clearly, what he felt for Sakura was terrifying in intensity—he had also interfered.

Despite being on the brink of shattering Yue's hold on her, the rules now dictated that she fail.

And she did. Sakura had her eyes wide open, staring at the nightmare vision of a world without love.

Syaoran collapsed; his last spell had drained him of almost all his magic as he had poured everything he had into trying to save Sakura. Given his earlier beating at Yue's hands, and his use of the Time card, the drain was such that it would take many years for Syaoran to even begin showing signs of magic again—if at all.

"No!" The winged tiger tried to reach the girl, as he had been sworn to protect her. But it was too late; it was all too late.

Time froze. All but Yue, recovering on the ground, and Cerberus were completely still.

A raven-haired boy with midnight-blue eyes sighed. "What a mess." He propped up the unconscious Syaoran gently. "I had no idea you loved her that much. You weren't supposed to, you know? You weren't even supposed to be in the picture. You really hurt poor Yue," he said, as he spared a glance for the silver-haired winged man, who was beginning to recover.

"You!" Yue was about to fly towards the raven-haired boy when the boy held out a palm and stopped Yue cold.

Cerberus gasped. Only one person should be able to do that...Clow Reed himself, creator of the Clow Cards, Cerberus, and Yue. "Who...are you...Master!"

The blue-eyed, raven-haired boy, who preferred to be known as Eriol Hiiragizawa, was in fact the reincarnation of Clow Reed, master of the cards. And he sighed.

"I am not him, just his reincarnation. I came to watch who would win between Syaoran and Sakura. Technically, Sakura won...but because of Syaoran, well..."

"Why then did we have to have a test?" Cerberus demanded. "You're supposed to be dead! Why are you interfering...when there shouldn't even be a contest anymore?"

"All my plans were thrown out of joint when this boy interfered. I am so sorry, Syaoran, but there is a price to be paid for your interference, even if you did do it because you loved her," he said gently as he brushed unruly brown hair out of the younger boy's eyes. "Now they must be separated by space and time until they can somehow find their way to each other again."

With a wave of his moon and starburst staff, Sakura disappeared.

Cerberus snarled. "What did you do with her?"

"Transferred her into the dream, where she will be safe. No harm will come to her...although her life will follow a certain path similar to what goes on out here. She deserves to rest, but she can no longer become a candidate for the Card Master. Hence, I have also suppressed her powers...for now."

"He," and Eriol nodded towards Syaoran, "has drained his own magic, and there is no chance he will regain it in ten years. So he stays out here. I have also removed everyone's memories—everyone involved with the Cards, directly and indirectly, as the rules demand. Especially those of her family..." and his voice trailed off in regret.

"As for you two," Eriol waved his staff again, and both Yue and Cerberus reverted to their false forms, Yukito Tsukushiro and Kero-chan, respectively.

"You have new roles to play, for as we speak a new candidate for Master of the Clow Cards has just been born. Now I have to wait another ten years," Eriol sighed. "I imagine

"As for you," he bent down gently and touched Syaoran's forehead. "Forget. Go on living in the real world. Forget, because if you remember...then you will know the meaning of pain."

Little did he know that Syaoran would grow up intimate with pain.

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A note to those who read my other fics: I am not abandoning any of them. Kindly check out my updated profile for when they will be updated. Thank you!


	2. Predator

**What He Wants: Chapter 1**

**Full Summary: **After failing the Final Judgment and causing Sakura to also fail, Syaoran Li lost his magic, and his memories. Separated from Sakura by time and space, he became a cold, ruthless man. But he has unconsciously been searching for love—Sakura's love—for many years. Without magic, can he find her and the love they were once destined to live out together?

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**Chapter 1: Predator**

**The Lone Wolf**

Syaoran Li, president of the Li Hong Kong Finance Group, and next head of the Li Clan, was used to getting his way.

He had grown from a cute young boy into a wildly handsome man. Tall, with deep-set cold amber eyes, tousled brown hair, a lean physique, chiseled cheekbones, and a haughty demeanor, Syaoran was well aware of his effect on the opposite sex, and wasn't above taking advantage of it...but only when he wanted something, or someone. As a result, he'd badly broken a few hearts when he discovered that the woman he was with was not the one he wanted.

Not that he knew who she was. Yet.

He also inspired much hatred with hostile takeovers and mergers; he was quick to spot floundering companies and come in with aggressive tactics. Syaoran was known for buying into losing companies, which then suddenly turned around and became profitable.

So he believed everyone had a price, and he hadn't been wrong so far. In Hong Kong, people could be bought and sold if you knew what to pay, and he was a master of the game of buy and sell.

But there were some people for whom the price was too high, even for someone like him. And he was arguing with her right now.

"Who the hell cares if I'm unmarried, Mother?" Syaoran paced in front of his tall, stately mother Yelan Li. "I will choose who to marry, not force the issue with some stranger just because I need to do so! Is there even a good reason to marry to begin with? I am not dying soon, and I'm not so stupid that I haven't made provisions in case something happens to me."

"If you reach thirty without an heir, I will be compelled to name a new heir," Yelan said coldly, praying he would not notice the urgency she felt. "You're almost twenty-eight, Syaoran, and I am required by clan tradition—which, if I might remind you, governs inheritance—to tell you to marry. We need to ensure that the company goes to Li blood. Preferably yours."

"Like anyone else can take my place," Syaoran smirked. "Now let's see anyone else take this company in the direction that I have. I'm indispensable, Mother, and you _**know **_it. I've grown the company into twice the size Father left it, and practically half of Hong Kong owes us money in one way or another now."

A long pause, in which Yelan stared at her son. "You're right. No one else can do what you do with the Li Group, Syaoran. But it means you've invested yourself into the business, and so I know what will force you to see things my way. If you don't get married before your thirtieth birthday, I will sign over control of the Li empire to your distant cousin Eriol Hiiragizawa."

"What? Ridiculous! He doesn't even know we exist. I built the Li Group into what it is today, goddamnit!" Syaoran yelled. "And Eriol doesn't even live in Hong Kong! He's in Britain, for god's sake!"

Yelan ignored Syaoran's outburst. "He has an MBA. I'm sure we'll survive with him. Don't worry; you'll have a comfortable allowance, and you can do whatever you like without having to worry about money."

Syaoran cursed. "You can't do this to me, Mother."

"You're right," Yelan agreed. "I don't want to do this to you. Nevertheless, I am bound by the rules."

"Ah. So the mysterious Elders, whom I suspect do not even exist, must have handed down God's word," Syaoran said sarcastically.

Again, Yelan ignored him. "They think Eriol can take over. He is married, and for the Elders, that's good enough," she baited.

"Mei Ling would do a better job!" Syaoran snarled. It was true; he relied on his quiet, efficient burgundy-eyed cousin to take care of the details while he took care of the big business. He looked at her to see what her comment would be, but was surprised to see that she was silent, lost in her own thoughts.

Syaoran turned away, cursing silently. Getting married wasn't the problem. Finding the one he wanted...that was the problem.

If Syaoran could admit it to himself, he was lonely, but his pride would never let him acknowledge it. He absolutely hated that he had everything he wanted...except someone to love and to love him the way he _**needed **_to be loved.

Not that he would ever admit it. He hadn't even recognized it.

He could never explain why there had been something empty in his heart for years. It didn't make sense, and loneliness, for him, was a weakness. When he entered into a relationship, he sometimes stayed even when he knew the woman was not the one he was searching for, because he hoped it would help him ignore the strange hole in his heart, even if for a while.

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**Mei Ling**

Over to the side, where she had retreated when Yelan and Syaoran started arguing, Syaoran's cousin Mei Ling Li shifted uncomfortably. She did not want Syaoran's job; in fact, her dearest dream was to live somewhere other than Hong Kong, where she had been tethered to Syaoran by the Clan.

She no longer wore her long, beautiful hair odango-style; her straight hair reached almost to her tiny waist. Mei Ling was a delicately lovely woman; despite never wearing makeup save for some powder and lipstick, she nonetheless always turned heads wherever she was. She was also no longer impulsive and aggressive as she had been when she was a child; Clan members had tired of remarking on this over the years, and she was grateful.

Originally betrothed to Syaoran, she had begged him to break off their engagement when they were teens. She could not imagine living the rest of her life with the cold, haughty man he had become, and surprisingly, he and the Clan Elders had agreed. But she had been bound to him as an assistant instead, and somehow, that had been worse for her. Because now she was at his beck and call. It wasn't easy on her own relationships, and she knew it.

As mother and son argued, Mei Ling fell into a familiar reverie.

Mei Ling couldn't help but think that something was wrong. She and Syaoran rarely discussed it, but they had missing memories from when they were in fourth and fifth grade. But each time she tried to remember, nothing would come up. And she could not ask him for confirmation because each time she tried to bring it up (which was only twice or thrice since they were eleven), he would deny it, and look scornful.

She did know she had returned from an area in Japan, and that she and Syaoran had studied there briefly. Why had they been there? She did not know. But she could trace his coldness, the change in him, to when he returned to Hong Kong a year after she had.

She first sensed that something was wrong with Syaoran when he'd come home from Japan...alone. He seemed defeated; certainly he bore marks that he'd been beaten, though he denied it vehemently. He had no schoolbooks, no photos...nothing to even prove he'd been there except a knowledge of Japanese. He couldn't remember why he was home, nor could he remember why he'd been in a tiny suburb of Japan...Tomo-cho? Tomoda?...in the first place.

But on his first night home, he had wound up screaming, "Don't hurt her! Somebody help her! Stop it, Yue!" She and Yelan had run to his room, and shaken him out of a nightmare so violent, he was wet with sweat.

When he woke up, he denied it, claiming he had said nothing, dreamed nothing. And as he tried to remember his dream, his eyes...that was the first time Mei Ling had seen his eyes go cold and hard, a sight she would grow accustomed to over the years. "Me, have a nightmare? About a girl? Let's not be ridiculous. Nothing happened," he said, all the while denying anything had happened in Japan. He had no memory of it anyway, and so they had given up asking him about it. Syaoran had then forced her and his mother out of his room

The next morning, though, she'd found Syaoran's green ceremonial costume shredded in the garbage outside the Li compound. Mei Ling, obeying a strange impulse, decided to save it, but hid it from Syaoran and Yelan. She still didn't know why she'd done it.

Syaoran had also hung up his red-tasseled sword Jian in the Li armory display, and had not touched it since. He had then buried himself in studies, always coming out on top, always wanting to be first at everything, whether sports or academic honors. He hated failure...and when he wanted something, he always found a way to get it.

He continued his martial arts training, but was removed from the dojo because he could not control his ferocity; he often wound up bloodying sparring partners and breaking equipment. Yet when asked about what made him so angry, Syaoran would snarl and dismiss the questioner brutally.

Mei Ling noticed that in high school, he'd become quiet and withdrawn, making no friends and violently spurning all girls who made a move towards him...except if the girls concerned had brown hair or green eyes. Even then, they always fell short, somehow, and he'd taken to throwing away everything he got on Valentine's Day without even looking at it.

So he'd grown into a cold, arrogant, cunning, and haughty adult, with no friends. His first conquest, after college, was Hana, the beautiful, green-eyed heiress to an airline company. The young woman had fallen so deeply in love with Syaoran, she had surrendered her virginity to him in just a week, and had hinted that she would like to marry him.

Mei Ling had wondered about this until she saw how Syaoran acted around Hana. He was sweet; he was gentle and passionate, possessive, even, constantly attentive and loving. The girl had stood no chance; she fell deeply, irretrievably in love with him.

Everything seemed fine for a while; Syaoran had even introduced Hana to Yelan, and Hana had happily prepared her parents for when Syaoran would ask for her hand, because their relationship was so intense and passionate.

But after six months, he had discarded poor Hana, almost in anger; it was only that one time that he had confided in Mei Ling, and said "She can't fill the hole in my heart. She's not enough...she'll never be enough. Why is that so? She even _**smells **_wrong!"

He'd gone on to say that he'd hung on for so long because he kept thinking he'd feel different the next day...and the next...and finally, the day never came.

Mei Ling ventured that perhaps because he needed to be loved in a certain way, by a certain person, then perhaps he should begin looking for that person. She looked at Syaoran, and was shocked to find him frozen by her words.

In response, Syaoran had angrily punched a hole in the wall of his office, making Mei Ling flinch. Syaoran did not know where to direct his anger: at himself, or at a world that wasn't giving him what he wanted most.

He'd never spoken of it again. But he became choosy; he refused to date unless it was someone he chose, and even then, it was rare for him to choose a woman to date. He refused to go the playboy route, openly and cruelly insulting women who were too aggressive or flirtatious with him. Syaoran preferred to choose women, not to be pursued.

When he did choose a woman, she was always at least a head smaller than him, had auburn hair, green eyes, and a lovely smile. Each time Syaoran seduced someone, he would go after her aggressively, then after fighting to win her heart, he would stay...for a while...then leave. He always paced his relationships quickly, desperate to discover if this time, she could be the one.

No woman had ever left him, because once he'd given them a taste of what it was like to be with him, they could no longer be without him.

And each time, he wound up disappointed and angry; it was as if the woman had failed him in some way. Each time, he would break it off abruptly, cruelly. And he learned to make his relationships faster, to use clichés and calculated caresses, to use the lies of love in order to find what he wanted...if it was there.

Mei Ling knew when a relationship had ended because Syaoran would schedule hostile takeovers then. He'd be so ferocious in the boardroom, even elderly statesmen feared him.

Each time he left women, they had been devastated, and one cried on Mei Ling's shoulder, weeping about how Syaoran had told her coldly, "You're not the one I'm looking for. You're not the one I want."

_**He's looking for something, **_Mei Ling thought. _**But what, or who?**_

Not that he would discuss it with her. Even the gentlest of attempts to open the topic with Syaoran always met with a bristling, angry response.

But it had been two years since Syaoran had last found a girl who he wanted to go after. Things were quiet, until Yelan had brought up the subject of marriage.

It wasn't Yelan's style to pressure Syaoran, and Mei Ling wondered about that. Yelan never did anything without a purpose.

"I would be happy to help you find a woman. Name what you want, Syaoran, and I will gladly cover your back with the Clan if we can't find her before your thirtieth birthday," Yelan said.

Mei Ling's gaze slid to Syaoran, who was staring at his mother. When a feral grin split his mouth, she sighed softly; he'd thought of something, then. It was never a good thing.

Silence. Mei Ling shifted uneasily, clearly not wanting to be involved, and sensing that Syaoran would manage to manipulate things to his advantage—as he always did.

Syaoran suddenly smirked. "Fine then. You want me to get married? Find me a girl. Not a woman...a _**girl**_. I want a beautiful young girl who'll look good on my arm, very innocent, the kind I can control and own. She has to have a sweet, cheerful, yet interesting disposition. She has to be intelligent but still be someone who can't possibly dominate me, someone who will submit to me so completely so that I won't ever have to explain anything to her. I want her to be inexperienced in love. Green eyes. Auburn hair. Smaller than me. Compatible with me astrologically. Find me that girl and I _**will **_marry." He stared Yelan in the eye aggressively.

Yelan blanched. _**Clever, as always. **_Those were impossible standards, and they all knew it. But he'd left an opening, and so she took it. "All right then, Syaoran. We will find that girl."

Syaoran snorted, and walked out without saying goodbye. He knew that Yelan and Mei Ling would never find the girl he yearned for. What they did not know—and they already were the two people closest to knowing him best—was that he had given his mother all those conditions because that was the only kind of girl who could make him fall in love. He kept looking for delightfully messy auburn hair, melting green eyes, an open smile, and a sweet disposition. He needed unconditional love; he wanted someone to see past his cold, cruel exterior to who he was. Not that he knew who he was at times.

Syaoran would never admit it though. Nor would he admit why he could almost picture the girl he wanted. It was insane; he'd never met her yet he found himself longing for someone. In unguarded moments, he could almost imagine she existed, waiting only for him to find her.

He prided himself on being a logical man, on being strong and emotionless, so he learned to squelch those thoughts as soon as they appeared.

But his heart had other plans.

Mei Ling watched Syaoran go, and wished with all her heart that Syaoran would find what he was looking for. She immediately laughed at herself though. _**Nobody hears wishes anymore. Nobody can grant them.**_

_**But if they did **_...and Mei Ling smiled. She had two. One for Syaoran...and one for herself.

* * *

**Yelan**

When Syaoran had left, Yelan and Mei Ling looked at each other quietly.

"I worry about him," Mei Ling said suddenly. Yelan nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Because when he finally falls in love, he's going to hurt himself. Because he's never been in love."

"He's setting impossible standards," Yelan noted. "While he's not promiscuous, he uses and abandons women after he's played his games with them. He chooses them carefully; I don't know how he came to this."

"I think it's a power thing for him, or perhaps the thrill of the hunt. He's looking for something—maybe someone who is unaware of the depth of his feelings for her? You'll notice, Auntie, that he chooses women who aren't easy to win over," Mei Ling said slowly. "When they return his feelings and fall in love, though...that's when it ends. He expects them to live up to something he wants but no one knows what it is. So he's become jaded. The bad part is, the only answer to his jadedness is pure innocence...but if we find him someone like that, he may wind up destroying her."

Yelan knew that Syaoran believed love was a weakness—and that he'd never told any of the women he'd pursued that he loved them. He only briefly allowed them to touch his heart. She sighed, and wondered what had happened to him for what felt like the millionth time in sixteen years. She felt that she didn't know Syaoran anymore, most of the time. He was not like his father at all, and no one else in the family was as ruthless and heartless as Syaoran.

His father Xiaolong had had a gentle, sweet side to him, one reserved only for Yelan and his children. But he'd died when Syaoran was young, and Syaoran had never gotten to know him. His sisters, all older than him, were already in happy marriages and scattered across the globe: Japan, France, the US, and Britain.

Syaoran had been a serious child, but he had small episodes of kindness and tenderness then; he'd even rescued Mei Ling's missing pet bird in the rain once. And Yelan had a memory—a very vague, fleeting memory which she fought hard to keep—_of Syaoran looking at someone with tenderness in his eyes...a small girl whom Yelan had kissed gently, knowing she was destined for him. _

But that was all Yelan remembered. She wasn't even sure it was a real memory anymore; had it been a dream? She'd long probed strange gaps in her memory, one which existed in Mei Ling, Syaoran, and even Syaoran's four sisters.

Yelan could not remember why she had sent Syaoran to Japan when he was ten. He'd returned changed completely—he'd become aggressive, driven, even angry. No one could figure out what had happened, but by the time he was in high school, he'd become a cold, haughty person, intolerant of weakness in others, and quick to take advantage when others showed theirs.

Only her heart allowed her to know the extent of what was wrong. And she knew Syaoran was desperately lonely, but it pained her as his mother to know she could not reach out to him; he would not allow it, and would not forgive her for knowing of that weakness in him.

Mei Ling, on the other hand, had become subdued and quiet after returning from Japan; while still continuing her martial arts training, she was chastened by something that had also affected her when Syaoran had returned. She, too, had not had much luck in love; her relationships were short-lived affairs that ended quietly, with sad little whimpers. Though Mei Ling never said anything, Yelan knew the young woman was lonely.

Yelan also knew she owned mystical objects that had been handed down in the Li clan for years, but after Syaoran had returned from Japan, she had kept them in a secure vault. These included Syaoran's strange board—lazin? Lasin? She could never remember the name—and her fan. A week in Syaoran's eleventh summer was likewise missing from her memory. The Elders had cautioned her never to mention it to anyone, and though they hadn't explained why, she had obeyed, somehow knowing it was for Syaoran's own good.

_**He lost his magic, **_she thought idly. _**But there is no such thing as magic, **_her conscious mind firmly reminded her.

Her heart wished that there were, though...and that Syaoran would find someone who could make him look at her the way he had in Yelan's memory...with a look that promised love.

* * *

**A Green Eyed Girl**

The woman Syaoran wanted and needed did exist. She, in fact, had been destined for him.

But through his own mistakes, she had been trapped in a dream dimension closely like his own, except for one thing: he didn't exist in it, and she had never known him.

Her name was Sakura, and if a person embodied the beauty and innocence of cherry blossoms, it was her. With large thickly-lashed green eyes, rosy cheeks, smooth lightly-tanned skin, and auburn hair that fell to her shoulders in a delightful mess, it was a good thing she was completely oblivious to her effect on the opposite sex—which then made her even more attractive.

Sakura was the kind of girl who inspired the urge in others to protect her, even though she had made her way through high school and college all on her own, relying on her unfailing optimism and pluckiness to see her through. She was a small person, on the borderline between being a girl and a woman, with a sweet, cheerful disposition; what fascinated people about her was that she could be constantly happy.

Most people in Sakura's position would be lonely to the point of depression; everyone she loved was gone. Her parents, her older brother...and sometimes, it bothered her that she did not clearly remember _**why **_they were gone. She knew her parents had been with her, along with her brother...until she entered college? Sakura was never sure about that.

Because she had gaps in her memory, and sometimes her memories seemed like frames from a movie, somewhat unreal. A campus psychiatrist had called it "post-traumatic stress disorder" and given her some pills. They made her giddy, and so she stopped taking them, resolving to deal with her unhappiness herself.

That night, she tried to probe the gaps in her memory. Sometimes she dreamed of brown hair and eyes, though she couldn't understand it. Occasionally there was a silver-haired boy in glasses, and a talking...mouse? Bear? With wings? There was also a raven-haired girl with gorgeous violet eyes—warm, loving eyes.

_**How can I have these memories?**_

Sakura wished she could find out why she had those gaps in her memory...and wished as well that she could find the one she was destined to love. Because, cheerful creature as she was, she longed to be loved.

Someone once said, "Be careful what you wish for."

Sakura would have done well to remember the saying on that stormy night.

* * *

**Many Wishes**

Hong Kong is a place where many mystical forces align. Every so often, they say that a freak storm allows dimensions to touch, and to cross over.

This only happens when someone with powerful latent—and suppressed—magical powers makes a heart's wish: a deep, desperate desire for something that he or she cannot have without divine intervention.

And when more of them make the same heart's wish, even the barriers of time and space can be broken, if only for a while.

That night, a freak storm erupted over Hong Kong in two dimensions. One large bolt of lightning struck a small house in a dream dimension that existed alongside the real Hong Kong, scaring its sole female occupant very badly. Her house shimmered out of existence, then reappeared when the storm cleared...in the real Hong Kong.

Halfway across the world, a blue-eyed man felt the rift in time and space, and smiled. "It has begun," he said softly to no one in particular.

The next morning, when Sakura examined her house, there was no visible damage, and she sighed in relief, thanking her lucky stars.

Hong Kong was such a frightening place sometimes, she thought. But it was her home now, and her first home in Tomoeda in Japan was long gone.


	3. Not a Chance Meeting

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CCS and the original CCS plotline. The events that take place in this story, however, are my (and my beta readers') ideas.

Many hugs, kisses, and Chibi-Syaorans to parma-violets, whose beautiful, wonderful story "Void" (which takes place after the second movie, and is utterly brilliant—check it out for more S&S angst and romance!) was partly responsible for inspiring this story, and who has contributed an immeasurable amount to shaping this one. Thank you!

**Author's note: **Because I need Mei Ling in this fic, the flashbacks are taken from the Japanese version (not the Cardcaptors English dub) of the CCS anime.

* * *

**Chapter Two: What He Wants**

**Not a ****Chance Meeting**

Syaoran was annoyed.

First, he'd woken up from a strange dream. He hadn't dreamed in years, but this was strangely familiar.

_A small girl with green eyes and auburn hair was shaking him, and apologizing. He was leaning against a large sakura tree, exhausted by his efforts to pull her out of the tree. She then embraced him, very grateful for his help, and he turned red. When __he looked up into her green eyes, he realized that he liked her very much...that he'd been rude to her in the past because he was attracted to her. She was holding an odd pink rod, and he had his old sword Jian out, though it was on the ground where he'd dropped it._

_The last thing he remembered was being in the green ceremonial costume he used to wear as a boy...though he couldn't remember why. He was holding several pieces of paper...__**ofudas**__, his mind supplied...and screaming a name...the green-eyed girl's name, the name of a flower. He was terrified he was going to lose her._

He'd woken up breathing hard; the air conditioner hummed as he calmed himself down. Syaoran slowly opened his eyes, angry at himself. Dreams were weaknesses, especially the kind that woke you up violently in the middle of the night. He was, after all, a mature man, no longer a child who could be shaken and scared by a mere dream. So he shook his head to clear it.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that it was a premonition.

As he laid back and tried to go back to sleep, a tiny butterfly which shifted colors fluttered away from his window.

* * *

Syaoran was further annoyed that afternoon, because wasn't used to being taken by surprise by a beautiful girl, much less one with auburn hair, green eyes, a wide, carefree smile...in short, the only kind he was interested in.

He'd escaped the office after another round of wearying negotiations with the Japanese Tatomi CEO—who was begging for a higher stock buy rate, something Syaoran was not interested in since Tatomi needed the Li Group's money desperately—and taken refuge where he knew they didn't expect him to be: a nearby Starbucks. He'd sat nursing his cappuccino when _**she **_came in.

She had smooth, lightly tanned skin, expressive green eyes, long, curling auburn hair, and a curvy, not fat, figure. Something about her...He wasn't sure, but what nagged him was that he wanted this girl. _**Now.**_

She looked around apprehensively. The Starbucks was filling up with people, and when she saw him watching her, she smiled at him. She walked over, and Syaoran stiffened; had she recognized him?

He would have been surprised to learn that she had never even heard of him. In her world, Syaoran Li didn't exist.

"Hi! If it's not too forward, could I share your table and could I leave my stuff with you? Please? There are no more seats, and I noticed you don't seem to have company, sir." She smiled at him, a warm, open smile. Her lips were as pink as cherry blossoms, and Syaoran found himself wanting to grab this girl and taste her. Somehow he knew she would taste sweet.

_**What the hell? **_Syaoran detested his reaction to her; if anything pissed him off, it was the loss of control.

Because something about her was making him feel warm.

Angry at himself for feeling that way, Syaoran instead turned his thoughts to her physical attributes, because she fulfilled two of his requirements at first glance: she was beautiful, and was not yet a woman. Add to that her green eyes, auburn hair, and smiling face, and Syaoran was _**very **_interested. Her face changed looks and facets with every angle, beautiful in many ways. Her eyes were the best part of her; they were expressive and changed with her moods.

"Only if you tell me your name and number," and he smiled slowly in the way the tabloids liked to call 'sexy'.

Had Syaoran known though, he would've called in their debts to the Li Group with alacrity; those kinds of things irritated him no end.

"I'm Syaoran," he said, deliberately omitting his last name. "Now you have to tell me _**your **_name."

She laughed. "Okay, well...it's Sakura Kinomoto." They stood there, smiling at each other. Sakura could feel her cheeks going slightly pink; Syaoran was very handsome, and he looked at her...as if she mattered to him. And she liked him right off the bat; it was only by chance she'd chosen him, thinking he was an older man, and when he'd raised his amazing amber eyes to hers, she'd almost lost her breath. She'd seen those eyes before!

_**I must be lucky today, **_she thought happily. She'd had a pleasant dream after being scared the night before by a freak storm. In it, _a tousle-haired boy with beautiful brown eyes had followed her to a small forest. She was crying, looking for her brother Touya, and he'd asked, "What's wrong?" Sakura begged him to help her find Touya, and he looked at her with gentle amber eyes. "Don't cry. We'll find him." She remembered liking him as a friend, and trusting him..._and the way he looked at her was how Syaoran was looking at her now.

She continued to smile and look into Syaoran's eyes. To his embarrasment, he was staring back and smiling as well. He cleared his throat and looked away, annoyed at himself for acting like a boy.

He was relieved when she spoke. "Can I please..." she indicated the overstuffed couch across him.

"Of course," and Syaoran stood up to help her. He almost gasped; she smelled right, like candy and blossoms...the scent that had been eluding him for years. He also noticed he was a head taller than her as he helped her place her MacBook and notebook on the table.

On an impulse, he touched her hand as she handed him her mug, and he felt a strange thrill run through him.

And so did she.

Sakura had never seen someone so good-looking up close before; she remembered that her brother Touya had been overly protective (_hadn't he? She didn't think too much about it—her mind wouldn't let her_), and she had never dated. Why it was so was something that escaped her; in her world, everything was quiet and safe.

She found herself wondering why Syaoran wasn't a famous actor or a model; she certainly had never seen him before, not in the celebrity or gossip magazines she sometimes read. She couldn't take her eyes off him; they wandered over his expensive suit, under which his muscles were lightly delineated, nor his strong arms, nor his deep brown eyes.

_**Goodness, he is so beautiful!**_

Yet something...about his eyes, his tousled hair, even the way he stood, was familiar somehow. A strange image came unbidden into her mind: he would look good in green instead of the expensive tailored suit he had on. And he would carry a sword, and cast thunder, lightning, fire, and air spells..._**what am I thinking?**_

"Oh!" Sakura blushed. When he stood next to her, he smelled of pine and soap, a heady scent she liked, and which she caught herself greedily inhaling. Something about him made her feel safe yet aroused; the last part she didn't understand very well, but she couldn't stop looking at him. And when he touched her...she wanted him to keep touching her, to find out why he affected her that way.

Syaoran nodded, fixing her with an assessing stare; he was surprised to realize how sheltered and innocent she truly was, and fought down the urge to offer to protect her. _**I'm being stupid! **_He frowned, and immediately resolved to be more cautious, more in control around Sakura.

Because he was already planning to be around her as often as he could.

She smiled again; with amusement he realized that she was not flirting, but was interested in him. _**How old is this girl? **_From the way she looked, she was anywhere from eighteen to her early twenties—much younger than him.

Had Syaoran not been caught up in the delicious prospect that perhaps Sakura was the one he had been looking for—she certainly came so much closer than anyone else had—he would have realized that something was strange in that she had no idea who he was. He regularly appeared in society magazines, business announcements, and the like, and people had been staring at him since he'd come into the Starbucks cafe.

Perhaps it was because he wanted to keep her in the dark about who he was and what he did. Because he wanted her to see him as someone who wasn't as dark, as ruthless, and as cold as the face he showed to the world.

Because, though he could not admit it to himself, he wanted her to see the boy inside of him, the one that had known her name, her scent, and her eyes as soon as he'd seen her.

"You can get your drink now; the lines are shorter," he said, gesturing at the counter. Sakura thanked him, and walked off to place her order.

As she moved away, he noticed her scuffed sneakers, and her bouncy step. She kept a smile on her face, not in a stupid way but because—and Syaoran was surprised to realize it—she had a naturally cheerful disposition. And he liked it very much...in fact he was tempted to grab her and lock her away with him until he could figure out if she was, finally, the one he wanted.

He was surprised at how much he wanted her to be the one. Syaoran caught himself wondering what it would be like to be as happy as Sakura was. Could she be putting on an act? Or was she really happy? He was drawn to her warmth; he wanted to find out what made her the way she was.

And irrationally, he wanted to be the only one whom she made to feel that way. He'd have more irrational thoughts when it came to her as they got to know each other more.

Sakura smiled when she turned away from Syaoran. He made her feel warm, and sweet, like she'd known him for years. It was a dangerous thought; Sakura wasn't stupid, and she knew about sexual predators and other molesters. But Syaoran...he felt right, as if he somehow fit into her life. Being the positive, cheerful soul that she was, Sakura chose to trust him.

She didn't know that she did have a reason to trust him. It was too far off in the future for her to know.

As Sakura walked to the counter, she stopped and gasped as a memory forced itself on her. _**A young boy with brown hair and eyes so like Syaoran's...was he Syaoran?...was talking gently to her, telling her they would find the watch she had lost. It was snowing...and she was angry and sorrowful, and there was a bear, a winged bear...**_and just as suddenly as it appeared, the memory fluttered away.

Sakura glanced back at Syaoran, and chided herself for being silly. He could never be her own age, not when he was clearly older. _**I'm just being fanciful**_, she thought.

Back at the table, Syaoran glanced at Sakura's notes and her open MacBook—which was why he missed her sudden stop. She was writing an article on typhoid fever, and had sketched out an outline along with notes for layout and illustration. The article was well-organized, and she was writing in English...good English, he noted. Her sources were carefully listed on one sheet of her pink notebook (a furry affair with a cute kitten on the cover, he was amused to notice), and in her outline she had written an appointment to interview the local health department secretary to ask for statistics on the disease over the years.

_**Intelligent girl, **_Syaoran thought. _**Just one item left on my list.**_ Even if Sakura did not prove to be the one he wanted, it might not be unpleasant to be married to her.

Syaoran quickly squelched his thoughts. _**Don't be stupid, Li, **_he chided himself. _**You're too eager. Think of the girl as a potential asset instead**_. And so he did.

_**She seems single, **_Syaoran thought. _**If I choose her, she's going to look good on my arm. Sakura is young enough to bear healthy children**_..._**Besides, I'm not getting any younger. Mother doesn't care who I marry as long as I do it soon. She's young and innocent. And she looks vulnerable. Perfect. I get her, and the Li companies are completely mine as a bonus.**_

That he'd just considered Sakura more important than finally controlling his family's company escaped him at the moment.

Syaoran called Mei Ling, gave Sakura's name, and demanded a file on her by that evening.

"Whatever for?" Mei Ling asked warily. Syaoran never did things like this without good reason.

"I want everything on her, even marriage prospects—find an astrologer if you can."

"Syaoran..." Mei Ling paused delicately. How was she going to say this? And why did the girl's name sound so familiar? "You can't just barge in on this girl's life..."

"Bullshit, Mei Ling. You have assistants. I want the information. You know what to do, and screw my motives, they're none of your business." And Syaoran snapped his phone off without saying goodbye. He knew Mei Ling would be discreet, and he didn't want his own small army of secretaries and assistants snooping into Sakura's past. Plus, he trusted her.

Back at the Li office, Mei Ling stared at the phone. She and her assistants soon learned that Syaoran had just walked out on a meeting. The Tatomi CEO needed the Li Group's financing, and it was just like Syaoran to demonstrate his power over them by leaving, forcing them to reset an appointment and beg for his help. _**And then he prioritizes finding out more about this girl?**_

Something wasn't right; it wasn't like Syaoran to demand a background check on someone he'd just met. _**Unless...**_Mei Ling felt a chill go through her; the last time Syaoran had fallen for anyone, he had done the exact same thing: demanded a file on her as soon as they'd met. But where had he suddenly found the girl? And he was impatient and angry on the phone—a dead giveaway that he was very, very interested in the girl.

She was curious as well. Was the Sakura girl green-eyed, auburn-haired, and sweet-looking yet again? Mei Ling quickly gave Sakura's name to her assistants and told them to search for background details on her.

Several hours later, they were stymied; they could not find anything on Sakura Kinomoto in the Hong Kong government databases. Mei Ling began to feel a little worried when they couldn't turn anything up on Sakura. What was wrong? Was she a con artist then? She almost picked up her cell phone to call Syaoran, but without solid proof, it would be like poking a sleeping dragon in the eye.

"She has to be in there somewhere. Try the Japanese databases. Her name sounds Japanese," Mei Ling ordered. "And try our own files; maybe she's a client of one of our companies?"

Bingo. An hour later, they came back...but the girl's records were incomplete after the age of eleven. Until then Sakura had lived in Tomoeda, a small suburb just outside Tokyo. Then she appeared to have disappeared off the record lists.

_**Why does that name sound so familiar? Kinomoto? Tomoeda? **_Mei Ling was very curious now. _**And why did her Japanese records end when she finished the fifth grade?**_

"Madam Li," An assistant interrupted Mei Ling's thoughts. She nodded to show she'd heard. "I ran a check through our computers for the name you gave me. Miss Kinomoto applied to work for the communications department. I have her resume here."

"Has she?" Mei Ling took the girl's file from the assistant. Sakura had a fair academic record; apparently she'd moved to Hong Kong after the fifth grade. A second search through Hong Kong records suddenly turned up material on Sakura that hadn't been there earlier. But Mei Ling had never heard of the public school Sakura had gone to for high school, though a search through the Hong Kong University records yielded her transcript. But nothing more came up—no credit cards, no bank accounts, not even a membership in a bike club.

Something was very wrong, and yet Mei Ling had the oddest feeling it wasn't the girl's fault. She distrusted such feelings, but somehow... _**Why am I thinking this way? It doesn't make sense! **_And she ordered a more thorough background investigation into Sakura's past; even a detective, if necessary.

Her eyes fell on Sakura's photo, which an assistant had printed out. Mei Ling groaned. Sakura was a small woman, with green eyes and auburn hair. She was wholesomely pretty, and very young. _**She doesn't stand a chance if Syaoran wants her.**_

Mei Ling leaned back wearily in her seat. "Call the girl in for an interview as soon as possible," she told her assistant.

"Yes, Madam Li."

As the assistant turned to leave, Mei Ling sighed. _**She's just a girl. She doesn't deserve to have her heart broken by Syaoran.**_

_**But why am I so concerned about a stranger?**_

Something about Sakura's eyes...on one hand, she was shocked to discover that she was just a tiny bit jealous of Sakura. _**That doesn't make sense! **_

And yet Mei Ling had always been concerned, had always offered a shoulder to cry on when Syaoran had abandoned his previous conquests. She's always been appalled at how broken Syaoran had left them, and how the women always thought he didn't seem to care, but Mei Ling saw how angry, how guilty Syaoran was each time a relationship ended.

_**It's not going to happen this time. Syaoran wants Sakura too much; he's going to hurt himself.**_

_**Now where did that thought come from? **_Mei Ling started.

* * *

Syaoran watched Sakura at the counter. Something was very refreshing in the way she smiled, tucked stray hair behind her ears, even thanked the _barista _when she got her drink.

She came back with a hot chocolate in a large mug—_**how cute, chocolate,**_ Syaoran thought.

Unbidden, a thought came into his mind. _**I want that girl!**_

He quickly pushed the thought away. _**She has to pass my requirements first. Just because I'm attracted to her...**_

His fists clenched, and he breathed in and out slowly to calm himself. _**No woman should have the power to affect me this way!**_

Sakura for her part found that she trusted Syaoran, for some reason. He made her feel safe. She smiled at him, offered him a sip—which he refused—and was comforted when she felt his eyes on her, watching her. His eyes were warm and gentle, and the way he looked at her made her blush.

Her eyes closed in enjoyment as she sipped the hot chocolate. Syaoran watched her openly; she seemed to be a sensual little creature, though she did not know it. Her small gestures betrayed her sensuality—she gripped the cup, feeling its heat; she eagerly licked off the whipped cream "beard" that was left behind when she took a sip; and while she looked at her laptop screen, a finger absently stroked the soft cover of her notebook.

Again surprising himself, Syaoran realized he wanted to feel Sakura's skin. She wasn't paying too much attention to him once she became absorbed in what she was doing, and he liked it. She was chewing thoughtfully on the end of a pencil, like a child, and he found himself wondering how she would kiss.

_**Get a grip on yourself, Li! **_he chided himself angrily.

Dressed in a pastel yellow shirt and blue jeans, her hair loose and floating about her shoulders in a delightful mess...he couldn't take his eyes off her as she consulted her notes, typed, then reread what she had written. She wasn't fawning over him or staring at him hopefully, and he liked it.

Syaoran suddenly realized what was so appealing about her to him: she was an interesting combination of innocent and sensual. Sakura was beautiful to boot; a lot smaller and less outrightly sexy than those who regularly threw themselves at him. Those green eyes, the rosy cheeks, the aura of health and innocence...Syaoran felt something in him stir.

Certainly it wasn't that odd hole in his heart, because as far as he was concerned, it didn't exist.

He told himself he wanted Sakura because she was innocent and he wanted to find out what it would be like to mold someone like her into the woman he wanted. He refused to consider that her innocence attracted him because she would never try to get into his bed to be able to brag about it later, or lure him into marriage because of his money. And the way she behaved...she had no idea who he was and his reputation. Which made it even sweeter, in Syaoran's opinion.

_**You will be mine, little blossom, **_he thought, never realizing that he'd already given her a pet name. None of the women who had gone through his life had merited one.

"I forgot; can I get you anything?" she asked, her wide green eyes staring curiously into his own.

"No," Syaoran smiled gently. "Don't worry about me. Just escaping the office for a bit."

"Okay," she smiled. "Rough day at work?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yeah." Syaoran didn't volunteer any other information. She turned back to her notes, and began to type again.

"I see you're writing about typhoid," Syaoran began.

"Oh yes. It's for "Parenting" magazine. I sort of freelance and all while I wait for a real job," Sakura said cheerfully.

_**She didn't mind that I looked through her work, **_Syaoran thought as he pulled his chair closer to hers. He was deliberately coming close to Sakura to watch how she reacted to him, and was pleased when a pink tinge crept across her cheeks; _**ah, she likes me, **_he thought. _**Good. It makes everything easier for me.**_

Little did he know he had also begun to flush in her presence. Had he known, he would have been very, very angry at himself.

He kept asking Sakura questions, and she happily talked about herself. When she tried to ask Syaoran about himself, he would evade the question and subtly turn the conversation back to her. He was amused; he was skilled at eliciting information from more reticient subjects—CEOs, corporate secretaries, and the like—yet what this girl had to say interested him. It didn't hurt that he enjoyed watching her face change; neither did it hurt to see her pretty lips moving as she talked.

_**Such a lovely girl, **_Syaoran thought. He asked leading questions, and though he'd been prepared to put on an interested face, he discovered that he was interested in her. He soon knew a lot about her. Sakura had just turned twenty-two a few days ago, on the first of April (and Syaoran made a mental note to find an excuse to celebrate it with her), was fresh out of college, and looking for a job. No, she didn't have a boyfriend. She lived alone, and was an orphan, but made ends meet thanks to her contribution of articles to various magazines and a small trust fund.

_**He's interested in me, **_Sakura thought with delight. Syaoran listened to her, his amber eyes never leaving her face, and she blushed slightly every now and then. He was so handsome, she couldn't help but wonder about him. He didn't wear a wedding ring, though he seemed older than her. He didn't talk much about himself; all he told her was that he was a businessman. And he seemed comfortable in his own skin; he was quietly confident, and he radiated strength. _**I wish I could get to know him better!**_

But then Sakura's shoulders drooped when she realized that someone as handsome as Syaoran probably already had a girlfriend. Someone rich, beautiful, and glamorous. She wanted to ask him about himself, but she hesitated because he didn't seem to be interested in that; rather, he wanted to hear about her.

Syaoran read over her shoulder as she worked, and she smiled, enjoying his nearness. Every now and then he would offer an intelligent suggestion: add a sidebar here, revise a passage there. And she would turn to him and find his face so near, she could see the copper flecks in his eyes.

Both did not realize that they had settled into nestling positions, their bodies only fractions away from resting against each other. He looked around, and glared at the other men who were staring at Sakura, never realizing that he had already begun to mark her as his territory.

His SmartPhone went off. He was somewhat startled, and looked out of cafe's windows. Night had fallen; he hadn't realized how long they had spent together. And he had no regrets. He repressed the urge to laugh out loud when he realized that he'd abandoned his meeting completely. Another show of power, Syaoran thought, and smirked. _**The Tatomi company needs my financing. They wouldn't dare complain about my behavior!**_

And it had been worth it. He glanced at Sakura, who was watching him expectantly. "Pardon me, Sakura. I just have to check this," and he pointed at his phone.

"Sure," she said, and turned back to revising her work.

It was Sakura's file. _**Good girl, Mei Ling, **_Syaoran thought. One item jumped out at him; Sakura had just taken out a loan with her small family home as collateral at a bank they owned controlling interest in. One missed payment, and she would be at his mercy, because she had signed a subprime loan contract.

Syaoran ran a hand through his hair. The idea had been forming in the back of his head, and now it was coming to the forefront. What if Sakura needed him in her life? What if he were somehow indispensible to her? What if her only refuge were in his arms?

_**Why am I this way with her?**_

"Is there a problem?" Sakura asked as she watched his expression.

"No," Syaoran said, and smiled reassuringly.

"Sakura!" A boy about Sakura's age waved and she waved back, smiling. Syaoran was surprised to notice that he was annoyed by the younger man, who casually sat down at their table.

"Introduce me to your friend?" the boy asked, looking curiously at Syaoran.

"This is Syaoran. Syaoran, meet my friend Toshi," she said.

_**Someone to get rid of, **_Syaoran thought. He smirked, knowing that he would enjoy this.

The boy, who clearly had a crush on Sakura, tried to monopolize her attention, but Syaoran noted with satisfaction that she kept glancing at him, and smiling shyly. _**She has a crush on me, **_he realized with delight, and couldn't keep a smile off his face.

And so when the boy stood up to get a drink, Syaoran leaned over towards Sakura. She smelled sweet, and he caught himself liking her scent very much, wanting to taste her very badly.

_**No! I'm in control here!**_

"Sakura...Give me your number. I'd like to get to know you better," Syaoran said, making sure to hold her gaze and to smile at her. Sakura's eyes lit up, and she happily gave him her cell number. _**Excellent, **_Syaoran thought. They owned controlling interest in the mobile carrier she subscribed to; getting her records and putting a trace on her phone would be child's play.

Sakura couldn't believe that Syaoran was interested in her, and she happily gave him her phone number. Syaoran was so gallant, and looked so thankful when she gave him her number, that she blushed. _**He asked me for my number! **_Sakura felt a thrill go up and down her spine. He was handsome, mysterious...older. And she wanted to know who he was and why he made her react the way she did, why she wanted to know what his skin felt like, and how he would kiss. She blushed.

"Is something the matter?" Syaoran asked gently. He could see that Sakura was attracted to him, and was getting flustered by whatever she was thinking. He looked at her, catching her eye, and made sure she could see he was gazing deep into her beautiful emerald eyes. "What are you thinking?"

She shook her head, tongue-tied.

"I'm thinking I'd like to see you again...soon," Syaoran said.

Sakura nodded, hypnotized by his deep gaze.

And he reached for the hand nearest him to test his effect on her; Syaoran lifted it to his lips, and kissed it gently, making sure Toshi saw as he came back from the counter. Syaoran wanted to take Sakura home, but didn't want to scare her off until he was sure she wanted to be with him, and so when he raised his eyes to hers, he saw she was blushing, but smiling.

Syaoran stood up, and Sakura, in confusion, stood alongside him. He was amused to note that she hadn't pulled her hand away from his...and Toshi was glaring at him. He turned so that Sakura could not see his face, and openly smirked at Toshi.

Sakura was wildly thrilled; no one had ever kissed her hand before. And when Syaoran's lips had touched her hand...she turned red when her other hand flew to her lips, wondering what it would be like had he kissed her there.

"I regret that I must leave, but I had a wonderful time...because of you. I'll see you again soon...very soon, little blossom," he said huskily, then held her gaze for as long as it took him to exit the cafe.

_**Oh God I want to see him again! **_Sakura thought. It took several tries before Toshi finally got her attention. "Who was that guy?" Toshi asked grumpily.

"Syaoran..." she breathed.

"Don't tell me you like him! He's too old for you!" Toshi remonstrated. He'd had a crush on Sakura since seeing her at the university, and had thought that since no one else was courting her, he had a chance.

But when Sakura turned shining eyes on him, Toshi knew he'd already lost her.

Syaoran stood across the street and watched the little tableau. The younger boy was clearly annoyed, and Sakura stood there, looking lovestruck. He smiled—and he touched his lips in surprise, because he hadn't smiled in a very long time—and turned to walk back to his office.

But along the way, the scent of cherry blossoms wafted towards him, and he couldn't help but think of Sakura. _**My little blossom. Soon, you will be completely mine, **_Syaoran thought.

And somewhere deep inside of him, an eleven year-old boy cried out her name.

He never heard it, though.


	4. Prey

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 3**

**Author's note: **Again, thanks to **parma-violets **for betaing this. Your comments are always amazing, constructive, and instructive, and I am blessed to have such a wonderful reader and friend who also writes brilliant stories that I read over and over—even if I betaed them, LOL!

To those who are also following my other fics: I got sick and wasn't able to revise and update quickly. But chapter 4 of this fic will be up next Friday, and this chapter is accompanied by a Getaway Girls chapter!

_(Notes, thanks, and preview at the end of chapter)_

* * *

**Prey**

Sakura practically skipped home that evening. She'd met someone who made her feel like jelly inside; it was a new, exciting thing for her. She couldn't stop thinking of his messy chocolate-colored hair, his gentle voice, his deep amber eyes...he was kind, and so strangely familiar.

She hugged herself after she opened the door to her tiny home and stepped in. It was small but neat; she was the kind of girl who made do or made without, and her cheerfulness helped her overlook what she didn't have. Luckily she'd gotten a nice laptop from an uncle (though he'd died soon afterwards, as far as she remembered), and it helped a lot when she had deadlines to meet.

She was just glad that she'd managed to pay the municipal taxes and dues with the loan she'd gotten from the bank, and had a little left over to buy herself some groceries and supplies, and pay for the utilities. And to save on internet costs, she went to the local Starbucks, which had free wifi, and saved up to treat herself to hot chocolate. She was very thankful for that habit, because she had met _**him**_ through it.

_**Syaoran.**_

"Good evening, Mom, Dad, onii-chan!" she greeted the photos in the small sitting room. "I met such a cute guy today. I hope he'll call me soon. Although you," and she playfully pointed to her brother's photo, "would probably hate him. You hate any boy who gets close!"

Sakura busied herself preparing dinner: a can of mushroom soup, some tuna, and some spaghetti noodles. She hummed cheerfully, as she was thinking of Syaoran. He had watched her all afternoon, and when he kissed her hand...she lifted her right hand to her face and pressed it against her cheek, wishing it was his lips.

She had never been courted before, much less by someone as experienced as Syaoran, and everything he did was sweeping her off her feet. What made him even more attractive to her was the feeling that somehow, despite his suave, confident demeanor, he _**needed **_her. That made her feel warm, and very sweet on him.

It never occurred to Sakura that he might have an ulterior motive; all she knew of love was what she'd read in mangas, comics, and novels. But the feelings Syaoran elicited from her made her happy, and since she was a cheerful creature, she was content.

Though her dinner was somewhat meager, she ate it happily, cleaned up after herself, then brushed her teeth and prepared for bed. She knew she had a preliminary interview at the Li financial group the day after the next; she'd received the call from someone who said her appointment was with "Madam Mei Ling Li" earlier, and felt blessed. The house taxes were paid for, the payment terms at the bank were easy (she hadn't read the contract carefully), she was comfortable, the bills were paid, and she had a job interview. Plus, she'd met someone she really liked. Life was good to her, she thought, and hoped she would see Syaoran again soon.

Her cell phone rang, just as she settled into bed. She didn't recognize the number, but answered it anyway—it might be Syaoran!

"Hello?" Sakura glanced at the clock; it was half past eleven.

"Sakura?" Her spirits lifted; she would know that gentle, husky voice anywhere. "It's me..."

"Syaoran!" She giggled. "I...I didn't expect you to call so soon..."

On the other end, Syaoran smiled as he settled under dark green silk sheets, his favorite indulgence. "Were you asleep already?"

"No, I just got into bed," she answered eagerly, not knowing that what she'd said would've been a come-on from any other woman.

"I just wanted to bid you good night, little blossom," Syaoran said softly, ignoring the warning voice in his head that was yelling, _**you're moving too fast!**_

But he didn't care. All Syaoran could think of was that he wanted Sakura in his life. It didn't make sense that he felt like he would be missing out on something wonderful if he let her go, but he would deal with that later. He felt like a young boy again—like he was eleven, for that matter.

Sakura giggled again. "I like it when you call me that." She wiggled her toes under the sheets, happy to be talking to the one who made her feel so special.

Syaoran smiled. He'd realized what he was doing, and decided he would have better control over himself. He knew he had her, but he pretended to be uncertain; that always melted the women he pursued. "Do you? That's great. Because..." and he paused artfully, "I like you."

Sakura gasped as her heart leapt. Was he really saying that? Had she been older and wiser, she would have seen through Syaoran's ploy. But she never did; she could not think past her attraction to him.

"Me too," she said sincerely. She didn't see a reason to be coy; she'd had very little experience with boys due to her overprotective elder brother Touya. Sakura had always been sincere when dealing with others, and Syaoran liked it very much. And the gasp...he knew he had her now.

"Tell me about yourself," he said.

"What's to tell? We talked a lot a while ago," and Sakura giggled as she hugged her favorite pillow. Idly, she thought of cuddling up to Syaoran, and blushed.

"Okay. What do you like: chocolates, candy, flowers..." Syaoran gambled that she would not realize what he was asking, and he was right.

"I love chocolates! Not so much on the candy, though," she said thoughtfully. "I like roses and peonies, and any other nice flower. I also like teddy bears! And puppies and kittens. I also like going to amusement parks, skating, rollerblading, playing sports...am I boring you, Syaoran?"

Syaoran realized that he'd been listening intently and mentally taking notes on what would please her. "Oh, no, you're not boring me, Sakura. Go on."

"What about you?"

He chuckled. "I know what I like," was all he said. "So, have you traveled out of Hong Kong?"

"Well...as you can probably tell from my name, I came from Japan originally, but we moved here when I was eleven. I haven't been anywhere else since. Hey...you never told me your last name?"

Again, Syaoran gambled on telling her the truth. "Li."

"Oh, Lee!" Sakura had gotten it wrong, and he didn't bother correcting her. "I like your name—Syaoran Lee. So you're Chinese? How do you come by your Japanese first name then?"

"It's what I use. My birth name is Xiaolang. It's Chinese. And you would be called 'Ying Fa' in Chinese."

"Really?" and Syaoran could almost hear her smile. He liked talking to her; she was unpredictable, childlike, and so entertainingly innocent. "So where do you work?"

"At my family's business," Syaoran said. _**Tell her the truth as far as you can, **_he thought.

"That must be nice!" Sakura enthused. "I would've liked that. My dad was an archaeologist, and if he'd lived, I'd've liked to work with him."

"An archaeologist," Syaoran mused. He remembered vaguely wanting to be one himself as a child...but it was ridiculous.

As they talked idly, Syaoran did not notice the minutes creep by. He was surprised when he was saddened to learn that she had lost her family in an accident that had taken away some of her memories as well.

"It's like having a hole in your heart," she said sadly. "Because, you know in your mind you have to remember, but you don't."

"I know what you mean," he said before he could stop himself.

Sakura paused. Syaoran sounded oddly lonely, and she felt for him.

"Are...are you happy, Syaoran?"

Syaoran raised an eyebrow. _**What kind of a question was that? **_The silence stretched between them, and he had no idea what to say. It was weakness to even think about telling her about the hole in his heart—and how she was making it go away—so he pushed the thought away, just as Sakura said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

He liked her small voice; and he enjoyed imagining that her lips were at his ears, whispering into them. _**What will she feel like snuggled up to me in bed? **_He had to know, and soon.

"Don't worry about it. I just didn't know what to say," Syaoran said, knowing it would make her feel sorry for him.

"You need a hug," she said softly. "I mean, if you don't already have a girlfriend." A thrill of fear shot through Sakura; was she talking to someone already taken?

"No. No girlfriend," Syaoran said, and she felt like squeezing her favorite pillow hard. "Although I think I know someone I'd like to be mine. I've been waiting for someone like her for a long time."

"Oh," Sakura said quietly, and was silent.

Syaoran was confused, until he realized... _**she didn't get that I meant her! **_He chuckled.

"Hey. You need to rest. Can I call you tomorrow Sakura? It was great talking to you," Syaoran said.

"I liked talking to you too. I'll wait for your call," Sakura said earnestly, never realizing that Syaoran had not said anything about himself at all.

"Sleep sweet, Sakura," Syaoran said huskily.

Sakura smiled; it was such a great way to end her day. "Sleep sweet too, Syaoran. Goodbye," and she hung up.

Both Sakura and Syaoran slept well that night. Syaoran, though he did not remember it, had a pleasant dream of a much younger Sakura.

_He was in a classmate's house. Sakura was pouring tea, and he was watching her—how the afternoon sunlight glinted on her auburn hair, how her green eyes sparkled as she smiled. Someone else was in the dream, someone who couldn't talk, but who wrote on a notebook and showed it only to Syaoran, "Do you like Sakura?" And he blushed and denied it, but the question repeated itself._

"I want her," he murmured in his sleep.

* * *

Syaoran called Sakura everyday, and spent at least thirty minutes on the phone with her each time, asking how she was, what she was doing. His favorite time to call her was in the middle of meetings and negotiations; he enjoyed declaring, "This is an important call," and walking out to call her. But when she asked, he would say, "I wasn't doing much."

He also made it a point to drop by that Starbucks whenever she was there; he would buy her drinks and freeze out any boys with her just as he had Toshi earlier. Syaoran was an expert at radiating menace when he felt like it, and one by one, the boys flocking around Sakura disappeared.

Syaoran enjoyed holding Sakura's gaze in his smoldering one. He was delighted to notice her unconscious response to him, licking her lips and blushing. And she was attracted to him; she let him touch her hand, run a finger over her arm, and hold her arm to help her up from her seat.

A month into Syaoran's courtship, Sakura realized she had a terrible crush on this mysterious man. Syaoran was strong, handsome, and gentle towards her.

Mei Ling quietly noticed what Syaoran was doing, and chose to speak to Yelan about it.

"How old is she?" was Yelan's first question.

"Twenty-two. I interviewed her last week, and I think she'll pass the entrance test to work for us. But...I'm worried, Auntie. Here's her file—the one Syaoran asked for the day he met her."

Yelan took the file and read through it, the crease in her forehead deepening with each page. "Oh no," Yelan said softly. "Innocent? Sweet, intelligent girl? Pretty?"

"Quite innocent. No match for him, assuming she's the one Syaoran has been calling. I can't get his phone records; you know how he guards them."

"Any way we can place her at another company?" Yelan asked.

"I can try."

"Do it. She doesn't deserve this, what he's probably going to do—pursue her then drop her when she doesn't satisfy him." Yelan said.

"I agree. But if Syaoran wants her," and Mei Ling shrugged.

"I know." And they fell silent, thinking of Syaoran and what he was like when he wanted something.

Yelan opened Sakura's file again. Something about Sakura's eyes...she couldn't help but wonder where and how she knew Sakura. After all, the girl had come from Japan. Perhaps she was connected to Syaoran somehow? But she was too young; when Syaoran was in Japan, Sakura would have been a toddler, based on their ages. Yelan sighed, and reluctantly closed Sakura's file.

* * *

_Somewhere far away, a golden-eyed tiger spoke with someone who held a sealing rod...which had once belonged to a green-eyed girl._

"_Do you see how sharp his mother is?"_

_A nod._

"_I suspect she will regain her memories first. But it will be hard for her, because she will realize that time has moved differently for the first Cardcaptor and the Li scion. You must be ready to move according to my directions then."_

"_Cerberus-san, didn't you say I would have to convert the cards first into my own before the first Cardcaptor was released back into the world?"_

"_Yes, but...when wishes are made, nothing can change or alter them. So you must work harder now. Time is no longer on our side. Gather them all and change them before the Cardcaptor regains her memories."_

* * *

Each night, as Sakura hung up from Syaoran's good night calls, she was happy and giddy. _**Wow**_, she thought, _**I have a great prospect for a boyfriend. **_She blushed, then twirled around in anticipation, happy and infatuated with Syaoran. She'd never known anyone like him, and she had no defenses against someone as experienced as he was.

Finally, he invited her out...one on one. Syaoran was becoming impatient; he'd been unable to see her the whole week because of work, and a month of phone calls and semi-dates at Starbucks were no longer enough for him.

"Can I see you tomorrow, for hot chocolate? It's on me," Syaoran invited. "Or maybe we can have dinner."

"Oh yes! Do we meet at the same Starbucks?" Sakura asked, completely thrilled. "But wait...what about your...someone? Won't she mind?"

That did it. Syaoran laughed, and he laughed even harder when she made an odd "hoee?" sound. Part of him was annoyed at himself; he didn't laugh, not unless it was to taunt someone, but he was enjoying himself because he knew she would like his laugh, and she didn't count—she wasn't a business rival or an enemy.

_**She's someone I want to belong to me completely. And I always get what I want.**_

"What was that?" he asked.

"What was what?"

"That 'hoee' sound you just made," Syaoran said.

"Ah...oh dear...nothing...I just..." He could almost hear Sakura blushing, and he smiled.

"Sakura?" Syaoran interrupted her stammering.

"Yes?"

"I'll call you tomorrow. See you at the cafe. Six thirty. That okay?"

"Yes, Syaoran!" He could almost hear her smile over the line.

"Sweet dreams then, Sakura. I can't wait to see you," Syaoran said, and was mildly surprised to realize he meant it.

"Same for you, Syaoran. Good night."

"Good night."

As he ended the call, Syaoran thought, _**I've got to taste even just her lips tomorrow.**_

Why he couldn't wait was something he chose to ignore for now.

* * *

Sakura spent the next day on a dial-up connection, emailing her resumes out to several companies. It never occurred to her to be curious as to why she hadn't heard back from the Li financial group, despite her good interview and resume. She then collected some payment checks from a few magazines.

When six thirty came, she happily put on a pink and white sundress and sandals to meet Syaoran. She pulled on a light overcoat, because the April chill had not yet given way to sultry summer. She wore only lip gloss, and her radiant smile sent heads turning in her direction as she walked towards Starbucks.

But she had thoughts only for him, and she touched her right hand where he had kissed it the other day, when he'd dropped by to see her at Starbucks. She had no defenses against him, and was falling for him quickly.

At the Li Financial Group skyscraper, Syaoran glanced at his watch. Five o'clock—time to make his preparations.

He made reservations at Lili's in the nearby Grand Hotel; he warned the maitre d' that he didn't want anyone falling all over him in subservience. He certainly didn't want to give clueless Sakura a hint of how powerful he was, not at this point.

"I want a private dining room. With candles and flowers," he specified. "And a service bell; I don't want anyone disturbing me. And no one is to call me 'Master Li.' Only 'Master Syaoran', if necessary. Understood?"

"Yes, Master L...Syaoran." Of course it was always "yes" when it came to him, and Syaoran smirked. His secretaries and assistants watched him curiously; it was rare for him to make calls himself, but fearing his temper, they didn't dare ask him about it.

Syaoran ignored them, and shut the door to his private office. He intended to begin sweeping Sakura off her feet now; their nightly conversations and meetings at the cafe were no longer enough for him.

He also had plans to cut her off from work soon, keep others from hiring her, and drive her into his arms trapped and helpless, with no other savior but him. The ruthlessness of what he was about to do was something he chose to ignore, because he knew he wanted her.

He would have reason to regret being so irrational when it came to her, but only much later.

Syaoran then made another call, this time to a jeweler, and ordered an engagement ring. He wasn't going to take no for an answer, and it was taking all his self-control to keep from rushing Sakura into his arms.

Finally, he gave instructions to an assistant to find out where Sakura had applied for work—then to encourage them not to hire her.

He then changed out of his expensive suit into a cream-colored polo shirt that emphasized the amber of his eyes, and dark slacks, then walked out of his office, ignoring his bewildered secretaries and assistants. When Mei Ling caught sight of him, she followed Syaoran to his private elevator.

"Syaoran? Where are you going?"

"Out," came the terse reply.

"Where?" Mei Ling noticed that Syaoran had changed his clothes; unusual behavior, since Syaoran liked to impress people with his expensive tailored Saville Row, Armani, and other designer suits. It had been happening for some time now; he'd begun keeping smart casual clothing in his office and changing into it then disappearing at random times.

"Be a good girl and go away. You're not my mother, although thank God for that," Syaoran said coldly.

"No but I do think you ought to let me know where you are. You can't just disappear like you did yesterday." Mei Ling resisted the urge to say, 'And you have responsibilities'; it would simply irk Syaoran and accomplish nothing.

"My secretaries will cancel my appointments, if any." Syaoran entered the elevator, and the doors slid closed on Mei Ling, who was bemused. Syaoran never did anything without good reason, so she dialed a number, intent on having Syaoran followed this time.

Syaoran went straight to Starbucks, and stood under the awning, ignoring the flirtatious looks of the women passing by and the curious stares of those who recognized him. He saw Sakura coming; she was skipping, to Syaoran's amusement, and she smiled when she saw him at the door. "Syaoran!" she called.

Sakura was happy to see Syaoran. Standing there, in his smart casual outfit, he looked just as wonderful as he had the day before, and she blushed when he smiled upon catching sight of her.

"Hello, Sakura. Thank you for coming," he said, and caught her hand again, causing her to blush again, and kissed it gently. He didn't let go, and she let him hold her hand.

_**She likes being touched by me, **_he thought. He ran his thumb over her soft skin, enjoying the feel of it. Syaoran knew that, given the plans he'd made, she would be his soon. Very soon.

"Have...have you been waiting long? Sorry," she said.

"No, just a minute or two. So what have you done all day?"

"I've been emailing my resume," she said, "and I got paid! So I can treat you to hot chocolate," Sakura smiled, fervently hoping he would agree to see her another time and take her up on this.

Syaoran smiled, and asked, "Do you like Cantonese cooking?"

"Yes, and I know this place in Mongkok—they won't open till seven though, but we can take the subway, and it's really cheap but it's good and the servings are big..." Her voice trailed off when Syaoran took her hand gently.

"Have dinner with me," Syaoran said, and he was surprised when he grinned playfully at her. "I know a nearby place that I think you'll like." He came closer to her, bending down so that his lips were mere inches from kissing her forehead, and he lifted his free hand to tuck a lock of stray hair behind her ear. His hand shook, to his annoyance; why did she have to affect him so?

"Er..." and she began to blush. Annoyed at herself, she struggled to answer Syaoran, who was watching her in amusement, enjoying the effect he had on her. "Okay. I can pay my way..."

"It's on me, because being with you is already a treat," he said, causing her to blush even more.

"But you have to let me treat you next time. Promise?" And Sakura looked up into Syaoran's eyes, praying there would be a next time.

"I promise. Now, let's go," and he gently pulled her down the street, for all the world looking like a young man and his girlfriend. People stopped to watch them; they made a beautiful couple. He held her hand all the way to the hotel, and when she saw where they were going, he sensed her unease.

"Don't worry. This is a nice place," Syaoran said.

Sakura was worried; she knew the place was expensive, and felt uncomfortable; would she be expected to reciprocate in the same fashion? Since she still didn't have a job, she was worried; the loan payment was due, and so were the utilities.

Correctly reading her look, Syaoran said, "It's really okay, Sakura. And someone like you deserves only the best."

"Are you sure?" Her voice wavered.

"Say thank you later, and make me happy," Syaoran said, knowing it would make her feel even more beholden to him. She nodded, and said, "No, thank you now!"

"You ought to taste the food first," he smiled.

She never noticed how they were ushered into Lili's without any waiting, how they were brought into a private room, and how polite and respectful the waiters were, because Syaoran chose to put his arm around her waist as they walked, knowing it would distract her.

He was right. She blushed again, and turned away from him, greatly annoyed at herself for responding in such a manner. His hand felt warm against her waist, and she enjoyed it.

Syaoran was liking how she responded to him. She fit into his arm just right, and he had to resist the urge to kiss her then and there. His emotions swelled, then crashed on him, much to his surprise; her mere presence was enough to make him feel like he was younger, like he was someone else.

_**She's the one, **_he decided. _**And I can't let Sakura escape me. Not ever.**_

Neither of them noticed the man Mei Ling had sent to follow them; then again, he was that good, and they were that engrossed in each other. He watched until they were closed into the private room, then left to make his report.

When they were seated at the table, the waiter politely hovering by them, Syaoran said, "Do you mind if I order? I think I know what you'll like."

"No, of course not. You're the host, after all," and she smiled.

He ordered a dimsum plate, hofan noodles, fried rice, suckling pig, fish fillets, broccoli, roast duck, bird's nest soup, steamed prawns, and beef spareribs; he then chose red wine and sparkling grape juice to go with the meal. The waiter bowed and said, "Good choices, Master Syaoran," and left. Sakura was surprised; it was a lot of food, and she said so.

"You're not on a diet, are you?" Syaoran asked in amusement, knowing the question would not offend her.

"No," Sakura said, a question in her voice. Syaoran was full of surprises, and she was wondering why she felt he was hiding something from her.

"Then we'll make it a tasting party," he said. He saw her fidgeting with the tablecloth, and captured her hand. "Relax, little blossom. Enjoy the food. And," he leaned closer to her, "enjoy my company."

"I do," she said, looking into his eyes, and he smiled.

_**You're going to be saying 'I do' to me in another setting soon, once I get my way, **_he thought.

When the food arrived, Syaoran fed her off his chopsticks, giving her the best parts of the dishes, watching as she chewed, and waiting for her reactions. He wasn't disappointed; Sakura's face would light up when she liked something. She turned red when the hofan turned out to be spicy, and happily ate several prawns.

Had Mei Ling seen the look on Syaoran's face, she would never have believed it. Not only was Syaoran feeding Sakura off his chopsticks—something he had never done before—he was also watching her with a soft expression on his face—also something no one had seen on him in years.

Syaoran took note of what Sakura liked, and watched her face as she ate. He couldn't seem to get enough of looking at her, and watched her lips as she accepted food from him; she had a way of delicately opening her mouth and nibbling at food.

He'd never done this before with anyone, and he was surprised to see that he was enjoying himself as she talked; he evaded questions about himself, and turned the conversation back to her each time she asked about him. All he revealed was his birthday, his age, and what sports he played.

As they sipped flowery golden pekoe tea to end the meal, she gathered up her courage and asked, "Is it really OK for you to see me? I mean, what about the person you said you wanted to be yours?" She held her breath, and hoped he would tell her he had changed his mind; she so wanted him to like her in that way.

Syaoran could see Sakura's wistfulness, and he couldn't resist. She was looking at him with her great green eyes, and he knew his resistance to her was a lost cause. So he bent down, surprising Sakura, and caught her chin with his hand. Then he kissed her gently, taking her lower lip between his and pressing kisses to it tenderly. And he closed his eyes when he kissed her, savoring the moment.

_**Too fast! **_screamed a voice in his head, which he ignored.

But a little boy, one Syaoran would later recognize as his eleven year-old self, rejoiced at Sakura's nearness.

This time, even the first kiss felt right. Kissing Sakura was like coming home somewhere he didn't even know he belonged.

It would only be much later that Syaoran would realize his mistake; had she been more perceptive, she would have gained the upper hand if she'd known her effect on him.

Sakura sat there, not knowing what to do, but her hands moved of their own accord and came up to touch Syaoran's cheeks. He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, as he continued to kiss her.

She was in heaven; it was how she had always imagined her first kiss would be like: gentle, tender, sweet...and with someone who made thrills go up and down her spine. Without knowing why, she caressed Syaoran's cheek with one hand, feeling him rub against it.

He was special; she knew it, even though she had only known him a week, there was something magical about his presence. He made her feel safe. Sakura knew about cheating men, abusive men...she'd written about them for the magazines she contributed to, and Syaoran fitted neither description.

She had no idea how lucky she was that he didn't.

Syaoran decided to pull away slowly; when he did, he saw that her eyes were still closed, savoring his kiss, and her cheeks had flushed gently. She looked so beautiful, he was tempted to kiss her again, and deeper.

_**No. I stay in control,**_ he admonished himself.

When Sakura opened her eyes, Syaoran was watching her with an amused smile. "I think she's glad to kiss me," he said softly, as he stroked one soft cheek with his thumb.

"Me? You...you mean...me?" She was breathless from his kiss, and because he'd told her what she needed to hear.

He chuckled, and kissed her forehead. "Yes, little blossom. I would like you to be mine. I know it's only been a short while but I knew the moment I saw you...you were just too beautiful." How he kept his face straight as he delivered those awful, trite lines, he would never know, and so he was surprised when he felt guilty as she smiled radiantly and blushed. But Syaoran felt his actions were justified; if those things were what it took to get her to fall for him, he would say them all and do anything to make her his.

He had no idea how he was contradicting himself in so many ways.

But his gestures made him feel like he was in control, despite the fact that he was always feeling warm now, especially when he was with Sakura.

"Oh Syaoran," was all Sakura could say. She had never expected that he would kiss her so soon, and so..._**wow**_, was all she could think. It was like when he kissed her, he had put his feelings into it. She looked up at him, then shyly slipped her hand into his.

Syaoran smiled, and laced his fingers with hers. _**You're mine, **_he thought, and bent down to kiss her again, enjoying the taste of her lips, enjoying how she responded to him; he took her arms and placed them around his neck as he pulled her closer to him, feeling how her warm body pressed against him, how she fit into his embrace like she was made to nestle there.

And he realized something. He pulled away gently, and asked, "Have you been kissed before?"

"No," Sakura blushed. "You're...my first."

Syaoran felt triumph shoot through him; he'd judged her accurately then. And once his plans fell into place, he would have a fiancee who belonged to him so completely, he'd even taken her first kiss. "Such an honor. But now I am obligated to you," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't take that from you without giving something in return," Syaoran said, using lines he calculated would elicit the response he wanted from her. "Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

"Oh!" Sakura gasped, unable to believe how fast it was going. _**It's like a fairytale! **_She'd never had a boyfriend before, and the prospect of having someone as wonderful as Syaoran be her first...she blushed and smiled happily.

Syaoran knew what her answer would be, but beat her to it quickly. "Take your time and think it over. I can wait. You shouldn't go into this blindly; you barely know me, after all. When you're ready, you'll tell me. Promise? Because," and he unconsciously took a deep breath, "if you say yes...I want you to know I'll consider you my future wife once you say yes."

"I promise," Sakura said, and was thrilled when he drew her close into a tight embrace. She closed her eyes and snuggled into him; over her shoulder, Syaoran greedily breathed in her scent. _**Say yes, **_he thought. _**Say it to me soon!**_

And Sakura was thinking, _**I think I love him!**_

She couldn't remember climbing into Syaoran's limousine; she did idly wonder why he was wealthy. As they were driven home, Sakura gave directions to her house, and was distracted when he raised the divider between them and the driver so that he could keep on kissing her.

But Syaoran nearly lost control, much to his shame; he ran his hands over her body, and she trusted him so, she allowed it. He had suddenly seen a flash of something in his mind..._**he was sitting on a swing set next to a much younger Sakura, and he was telling her, "Don't cry," holding himself back even though he wanted desperately to hold her.**_

_**What's wrong with me?**_

At the porch of her house, she thanked him, and shyly crept into his embrace. Syaoran folded Sakura into his arms gently before kissing her again, tenderly yet voluptuously. They kept kissing until she got into the house, and she reluctantly drew away before saying good night and bolting the door. Once inside, she touched her lips and closed her eyes, savoring the taste of him on her lips.

It was a good thing that it never occurred to her to invite him in.

Syaoran stood outside, appalled at her tiny home. It was somewhat run-down, though it was neat. _**No future wife of mine is going to live here. I'm going to move you out of here into a better setting, **_he thought, half-concerned about Sakura's welfare, the other half his proud self speaking.

He walked slowly back to the limousine, and sat in the back seat in silence, becoming annoyed at himself for letting her come so close to seeing what she meant to him. But when she was near, it was like he lost all his defenses, and became a boy again around her.

And so, once he got back to his penthouse and stripped prior to going to bed, he called Sakura.

"Syaoran?" She sounded breathless, and he smiled.

"Good night, little blossom," he said, then paused, waiting for what he knew was coming next.

"Syaoran...What you asked me earlier...I...I accept," Sakura breathed softly. "I want to be with you."

Syaoran smiled. "Thank you, Sakura," he said.

_**And now I make you all mine, **_he thought.

"You make me happy," she said, and she meant it. Sakura was brimming over with emotion, and she was eager to see him, kiss him, touch him again.

"Good night, sweet little blossom," Syaoran said.

"Good night, Syaoran-wolf," she teased gently.

"I like that," he smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow." And he hung up.

Sakura fell asleep cuddled up to her pillow, smiling. She dreamed of her new, first boyfriend that night...and woke up breathlessly awaiting what would come next in their relationship.

Syaoran didn't fall asleep until he finished plotting out the steps he would take towards keeping Sakura from getting hired anywhere. He intended to trap her into marrying him, and he couldn't wait until she belonged to him completely.

He, too, fell asleep with a smile.

* * *

Mei Ling was stunned when the man she'd sent to follow Syaoran reported to her. Since when had Syaoran been the one to wait for a woman? But the man was adamant: "Yes, Madam Li, he arrived before the girl did. And he waited for about two minutes."

_**He never does that. He makes women wait!**_

The man continued reporting, and said that Syaoran had walked down the street hand-in-hand with Sakura. Again, Mei Ling started; Syaoran normally detested public displays of affection.

"Did you get a photo of the girl?" Mei Ling asked. The man showed him a shot taken with a camera phone, and she suppressed the urge to groan. It was Sakura Kinomoto, and the poor girl was clearly taken with Syaoran.

Syaoran had his arm around the girl's waist, and she was looking up at him adoringly. _**She has no idea who he is and what he can do to her, **_Mei Ling thought.

But the biggest surprise was the expression on Syaoran's face. It was soft...and dare Mei Ling say, tender?

She quickly transferred the photo into her own phone, and went to Yelan's office. Mei Ling repeated the man's story to an impassive Yelan, and showed the photo.

Yelan glanced at her son's face; it was as she expected. He was falling hard for the girl.

It was at Sakura that she stared for a long time. Something about her eyes..._**I know this girl! **_And Yelan felt an odd protectiveness towards the girl she had never met.

But things were in motion, and it would only be much later that she would be given a chance to save Sakura.

* * *

**Chapter 4 preview:**

_Mei Ling and Yelan both noticed that Syaoran was in a good mood ever since he'd taken Sakura to the Grand Hotel several days ago. __They'd also found out that he'd hired the top Japanese interior designer (xxx xxx) to decorate a penthouse he had just bought in the expensive Causeway Bay district._

_He'd also forced Mei Ling to reject Sakura's application to work for the Li Group, and to Mei Ling's dismay, Syaoran had already had his team contact the other places where she had applied to work. And Sakura had been quietly rejected there as well._

"_Should I find another place where she hasn't applied?" Mei Ling asked._

"_Too obvious. Why would a company she hasn't heard of suddenly contact her? No, our best hope if that the girl wakes up on her own," Yelan said quietly._

_They saw Syaoran leaving the office early once more, but this time, he was in an Armani suit._

"_He's not meeting Sakura," Mei Ling said softly. "No, this is something else." Without being asked, she quickly called the man who had followed Syaoran earlier, and bade him to follow her cousin again._

_The report soon came via a text message. He was headed for Cheng and Yap Partners, a law office known for prenuptial agreements. _

_Mei Ling quietly showed the message to Yelan._

"_He intends to marry yet he hasn't introduced her to us?" Yelan raised an eyebrow. Then suddenly, she was caught in a sudden vision, a full one. _

A young Sakura was at their manor, wearing a pink cheongsam, accompanied by her dark-haired best friend, an older brother and her brother's friend. Yelan saw the beautiful little girl, and realized that she was the one meant for Syaoran in that moment. So as she bade the girl farewell, she bent down and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, whispering in Chinese—which Sakura did not understand then—blessings for good luck and eternal protection from harm.

And this Sakura was Syaoran's age—not six years younger. She was part of the reason why Syaoran had been sent to Japan to begin with.

"_Auntie?" Mei Ling was shaking Yelan's arm. "What's wrong?"_

"_Sakura," Yelan gasped. "Something's very wrong."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Yelan stood up. "I have to talk to someone," she said. "Carry on, Mei Ling. My apologies," and she swiftly swept out of the room. She called for her driver, and bade him take her to the Li shrine out in the hills of Hong Kong._

"_The shrine, madam?" The driver confirmed the destination, worried; the last time he'd taken Yelan there, she had come out in tears._

"_Yes, there," Yelan said firmly. _

_The reappearance of so many people from the past...she did not believe in coincidences, only destiny. She had questions, and she sensed the time had finally come for her to ask them of the only ones she suspected knew the truth. _

**Assuming she could make them tell her the truth, that is.**

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Author's additional note: I would like to warn you that the story's rating will change next chapter. There is a good reason for the adult situations that will appear...plus those closet pervs who have been asking me to write lemons will now hopefully stop asking me for one, LOL. The key here is the development of Syaoran's feelings, and the title of the fic.

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Thanks to: Hazelcough (thank you for being the first reviewer, and for remembering how little Syaoran used to be like!), Raine793 (aw, blush, and thank you! I hope not to disappoint you!), meow-mix23 (Thank you so much for reading just about all I write, I really appreciate it!), SakuraLover (Ooh, thank you so much, and yes, thanks, I am good and well! Good luck with your chapter! Getaway Girls will be updated on Saturday—whoa, two updates this weekend, whee!), Silver Night, AngelEmCuti (Hey, welcome here and thanks for always reviewing!), Sakuramsm (here you go! And this fic will be updated weekly), TFNYY (Now they've met! Hope you stay till the end!), Cheeseycraziness (You got my PM? I am so so thankful, and don't worry, regular updates for this one!), Pipi-chan (Haha, save that for your cute new friend, ahem!), Rocketz (Thank you! Hope I don't disappoint you), iNuQTpIe (Hey! Thanks for always reviewing! And hope you like this and the next one!), Krysia (Thanks and hope I don't disappoint!), lhaine07 (Hey there! Nice to see you here too :D and you got that right about Syaoran!), maehwa (Thanks! Hope you stay with me until the end!), KamichamaKarinLover25 (LOL! Trust me, Toshi will not be a problem here, not after Syaoran's through with him! And you hit a key plot point, big time!), ccssy -little wolf- (Ooh, another wonderful loyal reader! Love you guys), Musette Fujiwara (hope you got my PM, and thank you!) and to those who favorited and alerted the story! To borrow a really beautiful line from Cheeseycraziness' amazing story "Sleep": "I hope you find your Prince Syaoran soon!"


	5. Going Too Fast

**What He Wants**

**Chapter Four**

**Author's note: **The rating on this has changed due to adult situations that arise from the deepening relationship. It is necessary to the story. Please just hit the back button if you don't like such scenes, because they are necessary to my story. Thanks!

Thank you again to **parma-violets** and **Blatant Subtleties**, for bearing with this crazy author. This fic has evolved from a pile of silliness to a story thanks to them, and anything you like here, chances are, they encouraged me to write it!

* * *

**Going Too Fast**

_A very young Sakura giggled and blushed when she saw a handsome gray-haired boy on a bicycle waving at her and her brother. He made her feel happy, and she'd had a crush on him since he'd moved to Tomoeda two years ago. His gentle grey eyes behind round glasses, his warm smile...and when he tossed a candy at her and bade her have a nice day in school, she felt warm inside. _

_For Sakura, it was an all-consuming infatuation—he was all she could see, and she was oblivious to the love of a brown-haired amber-eyed boy right in front of her. She had no notion that she would ever end up with the gentle grey-haired boy—he was older than her, after all—but she remembered a dream in which a dark-haired, blue-eyed boy said, "I had hoped you would fall in love with him."_

But It didn't hurt to hope, did it?_ She asked her best friend, a raven-haired girl with beautiful violet eyes, who giggled._

_Then came a night when he suddenly transformed into a beautiful but cold angel, who sneered at her and said she was incapable...of something important. He called her a failure, and attacked her viciously, denying her each time she called for Yukito_

_Sakura refused to believe her Yukito was gone, merely a false form for something else entirely. _He has to be in there!

_And her emotions drowned her in despair. There was no one else but Yukito for her, as far as she knew._

Sakura tossed in her sleep, and the dream faded away.

But if she saw that grey-haired boy—he would be a man now—her long-buried memories and emotions might come to the fore and break the heart of the amber-eyed boy who had also become a man—and who still loved her.

* * *

The morning after her first kisses with Syaoran, Sakura woke up and smiled, touching her lips as she went about her morning routine. She was happy; no one had ever made her feel the way he did...as if they had been meant to be. But she pushed one thought aside: he was ambivalent. One moment he was passionate and all there with her, then suddenly he would draw back from her...as if he were trying not to be too close to her.

She did not understand it, but decided to accept it as part of him. She knew she would have a long time getting to know him—and the thought made her smile.

Syaoran felt like home to her, and it meant so much to a girl who had pretty much grown up alone. He made her feel safe, and when he looked at her, when he talked to her, she could feel that she meant a lot to him. And Sakura had the feeling he'd never been this vulnerable to anyone before, and that he trusted her to let her know that made her feel so sweet towards him.

_**Do you believe in destiny? **_She couldn't remember who had said that, but ever since she had met Syaoran, she had begun to understand the idea. The way he kissed her, the way he could anticipate her needs, even complete her sentences on the phone, the way he always seemed to know what she wanted, and willingly gave it to her...she knew it couldn't be easy for someone like him—she could sense how much pride he had—and for him to be so gentle towards her meant that he really did care about her.

But why then did he sometimes try to push her away?

It hurt because she loved how she felt when he touched her. Innocent though Sakura was, she wasn't stupid or ignorant. She knew, basically, what happened when men and women came together in a relationship, and she found herself wondering how soon she and Syaoran would get to making love. She blushed, and smiled; she couldn't imagine giving her innocence to anyone else but him.

And with a shock, Sakura realized that she was probably in love with Syaoran. She'd never been in love before, as far as she knew, but somehow she did know that she loved him, and she smiled happily.

It was all so fast, and she still didn't know him all that well...but she felt like if she looked into the future, he would always be there with her when no one else ever had been. He certainly went out of his way to stay in touch and to see her. Sakura appreciated the effort it took for him to clear his schedule to be with her.

_**Maybe he loves me too, **_she thought happily.

Had she known that he did, but hadn't realized it yet, she would probably have been amused.

* * *

Syaoran was feeling much better now that Sakura was his girlfriend. To his shock, he found himself blushing and smiling in his office the first time he remembered kissing her the day after she had said yes to him. _**What am I, some silly eleven year old boy? **_He could almost taste her lips, feel her warm skin...and he looked up and saw Mei Ling eyeing him oddly.

Hoping to forestall any odd questions, Syaoran hardened his voice and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No..." although Mei Ling was sure she had seen him smile and blush. He hadn't even heard her when she gasped at the sight; for a moment she could have sworn she'd seen the eleven-year-old Syaoran had been.

And a memory suddenly forced itself on her: _They were leaving school; it was cold, and she was hugging Syaoran's arm. He was looking over his shoulder at something...another girl, Mei Ling would realize later. He blushed, and suddenly ran away, forcing Mei Ling to run after the boy she loved—her fiance._

_**But I've never been in love with Syaoran! Why is this happening to me?**_

"You need a drink," Syaoran stood up and went over to his private bar. "Maybe juice?" He was looking at her curiously and solicitously, something Mei Ling had never seen in him before.

"I...no..." Mei Ling turned and fled because the odd memory was bothering her, and so was Syaoran's strange behavior. Since when had he been concerned about her wellbeing?

Syaoran sat back, and sighed. Sakura made him go soft...and in the past, when his first girlfriend Hana had had that effect on him, he'd been annoyed. But it was impossible for him to think of Sakura and not feel a certain sweetness. Perhaps Hana had affected him that way because of the women he'd pursued, she looked and felt the most like Sakura.

Despite what he felt, he continued with his plans; he'd managed to get her removed from the contributors of Parenting magazine, and she continued to be rejected where she applied. What annoyed him was that Sakura never mentioned it, and instead doggedly continued to apply for jobs without asking for his help._** Damn that girl, **_he thought. _**Why must she be so self-reliant? You have to **_**need**_** me, Sakura!**_

She was like a breath of fresh air in a stale room; he savored his thoughts of her, and somewhere deep inside of him, a younger Syaoran smiled and whispered Sakura's name tenderly.

Sakura was his secret; he told no one about her, and stopped using his driver to go to her. Syaoran began using cabs; they served the double purpose of not allowing others to follow him, and made him look ordinary to Sakura.

If he could admit it, he was obsessed with her. He thought of her constantly, and Mei Ling was alarmed when he once drifted off and was lost in his thoughts during the reset meeting with the Tatomi CEO. Syaoran had to be shaken to come back to himself. She'd sighed with relief when he calmly drove a bargain that gave them 51 of the company...and then almost groaned in exasperation when Syaoran left with indecent haste after the signing of the papers, not even bothering to invite the opposing CEO for dinner, which was traditional with such deals. It was left to Mei Ling to entertain the Tatomi CEO, and she was forced to keep a thermos with her to pour her drinks in when the man turned out to be a heavy drinker.

She had cause to be thankful that she hadn't let herself get drunk when she was placed on extra duty the next day, after Syaoran vanished early in the morning. And now Mei Ling was becoming very, very curious as to what the hell he was doing.

Mei Ling would have laughed if she'd known he'd headed off to buy a cute pink Hello Kitty laptop bag.

Over the week, Syaoran found a way to see his new girlfriend everyday. Except he wasn't thinking of Sakura that way; he was beginning to think of her as his future wife. His mind didn't allow him to think of the consequences of him rushing her into things, because he wanted her so badly, he could no longer think straight.

On one hand, he couldn't stop feeling that certain sweetness when he thought of Sakura. Her beauty, her innocence, the way she made him feel whole and happy, the way she made him want to stay by her side and protect her, always...he wanted to leave the world behind and just spend the rest of his life finding out why she made him happy.

But he also found himself imagining taking Sakura's innocence, controlling her, taking possession of her, hearing her saying, "I belong to you, Syaoran, heart, body, and soul." He wanted to keep the world away from her...and he wanted so much to make love to her that twice, he'd woken up from intensely erotic dreams in which he began to teach her about love, pleasuring her and teaching her how to pleasure him. Each time he dreamt that way, he would wake up panting, and was embarrassed by his own thoughts.

Why should I be embarrassed? Sex is natural in an adult relationship, he thought as he shook himself awake. Yet when he faced the mirror, traces of a blush were still on his cheeks, much to his annoyance. It was probably because of the little boy he'd been, who kept coming desperately to the surface these days.

Reconciling his blossoming love with his lust for her was going to be impossible, and Syaoran knew it. He simply chose to ignore it, figuring he would cross—or burn—the bridge when he got there. _**But do I have to?**_ Syaoran felt that there was a way for him to want her in many ways.

No, it was the desire to possess her, to own her that was making him guilty. And though he was falling in love with her, he couldn't help himself.

In the meantime, their time together was becoming playful and sweet. Each time they saw each other, one managed to surprise the other. The day after their first kiss, he gave her a pink Hello Kitty laptop bag. She had squealed in delight, and Syaoran smiled; his assessment of her had been right. Pink, kittens, cuteness...things that came to mind when he thought of her. He'd even braved the giggles of the shopgirls in the Central branch of Gift Gate to buy it for her, because he was looking forward to her delighted reaction.

On one hand, the cold part of him was still thinking of controlling himself around her, of manipulating and possessing Sakura. But now his thoughts were tempered with an unexpected gentleness, and a desire to see Sakura smile, because her smile made him happy. And the little boy in him wanted to make her happy.

As Sakura happily rose to put her laptop into the bag, Syaoran explored her home curiously, and found her small shrine to her family.

Syaoran felt his breath catch. He knew Sakura didn't have any close friends or relatives, and at first he'd felt triumphant about it; it meant he could easily get his way with her. But seeing the photos of her gentle-eyed father, her ethereally beautiful mother, and her protective-looking brother lavished with such care drove home the point that she was lonely, and all alone in the world.

The urge to protect her from everything, even himself, almost choked Syaoran, and a strong wave of guilt assailed him. _**See what her life is like? **_asked the small boy in Syaoran's mind. _**Can you still trap her, force her into your arms, knowing how vulnerable she is?**_

Below him, Syaoran could have sworn the glass covering the brother's photo glinted as the brother glared at him.

"Mom, Dad, Touya," he heard a small voice behind him, and felt Sakura's hand slip into his, "this is Syaoran, my boyfriend," and she smiled as she stepped forward. She looked up at him expectantly, and Syaoran respectfully bowed, feeling strange but unwilling to disappoint Sakura.

"I talk to them everyday," Sakura said softly. Syaoran stared at her, and he could see the sadness in her eyes. "I miss them." And a tear trickled down one cheek.

"Don't cry," he said quietly, and cuddled Sakura, shushing her gently. "Please. I'm here. It will be all right."

"Hoee?" She looked up at him, somewhat confused.

"What's wrong?" Syaoran used his thumbs to wipe her tears away.

"What you said...I..." Something was crowding Sakura's mind, memories tantalizingly just at the brink of her consciousness, and what Syaoran had said brought them just a little bit closer.

"Do you want to visit their graves?" Syaoran asked. "I can take you, little blossom, just say when," he said gently.

The memories that had been threatening to wash over her suddenly vanished. "I..." and she looked up at him, confused. "I...don't remember...where they are..." And she began to tear up again.

Syaoran then remembered what she'd told him once on the phone about her missing memories, and the sessions with the college psychiatrist. "I'm sorry I brought it up, little blossom. But," and he looked into her eyes, "I'll find them for you. I promise."

"How?"

"Give me their names, and I will find them," Syaoran set his chin in determination. Here was something he could do that only he could give her, and he would not rest until he could give her some peace and closure. And it was a gift born from his feelings for her.

That she could not remember did not sound strange to him, and it was only later when he remembered the episode, after he had regained his memories, that it alarmed him.

Sakura rested her head against Syaoran's chest, and smiled. She'd seen the look in his eyes, and her heart warmed when she realized how serious he was about the whole business of finding her family. "Thank you so much, Syaoran."

"I want you to be happy," he said with a strange edge to his voice.

"I know," she said softly. "Thank you."

The next day, after he'd taken her out to dinner, Sakura had given Syaoran a lovely cloth-bound edition of "The Art of War" and he was delighted by it; she'd spent an afternoon—and half her monthly budget—hunting for it after he'd mentioned that he'd lost his favorite copy.

Sakura nervously waited as Syaoran opened the brightly-wrapped package. She'd spent so much, and worried about the present almost all day, that she was terrified he might just say, "Oh, how nice" and ignore it.

Instead, Syaoran slowly smiled when he saw the book. It was beautiful, and showed him that Sakura had listened to him on the phone despite the few hints he'd dropped about himself. _**She cares for me, **_he thought, never realizing that a faint blush had reached his cheeks, causing Sakura to smile widely, and when he reached over to hug and kiss her, he could almost forget the cold side of him. He'd pushed his mother and Mei Ling away, and held all his girlfriends at a cautious distance, even when engaged in the most intimate of affections. Sakura's sweetness and willingness to give him what he wanted was something new.

It was only when he returned home that he realized how much her present had cost. Syaoran knew she could ill afford it, and while part of him was rejoicing that she was making it easy for him to trap her, the other part was dismayed at how she was walking right into it...in her eagerness to make him happy.

_**How can you not love someone who surrenders herself to you in this way?**_ something inside Syaoran demanded.

He rationalized that other women had surrendered to him as well. But none had made him feel so protective of them; even now that he'd realized that Sakura would probably give him anything he wanted, Syaoran worried about her. And he didn't want her depriving herself to make him happy; he wanted to be her source of happiness, not the one who made her sacrifice.

So Syaoran borrowed her house keys and strewed her favorite chocolate—and some expensive imported varieties he'd ordered for her to try—around her house.

When she arrived, she had flung herself on him and hugged and kissed him, to his amusement. And so when he kissed her, he held her head gently, and searched for the little holes in her ears, smiling when she said "Hoee?" softly. He pulled a velvet box out of his jacket, and told Sakura to close her eyes.

She obeyed, and he hooked the diamond drop earrings he'd ordered for her the week he'd met her through her ears. When he finished, he stood back and admired his little girlfriend; as he'd expected, Sakura looked beautiful in the drop earrings, the diamonds of which he'd had custom-cut into tiny roses.

"Open your eyes, little blossom."

She felt at her ears, and gasped. "Syaoran! What...why..." and she took one earring off and stared at it. "Oooh, it's so pretty! How did you know I liked crystals? Thank you, Syaoran!" And she kissed him again, smiling happily.

Syaoran almost laughed. Crystal indeed. He rubbed his nose against hers, and said, "It's been a week since you said yes, and I thought they would look good on you. And...they're diamonds, sweetheart. I had them made for you."

Sakura gasped. "I can't...I...Oh..." She was afraid that she would not be able to reciprocate; reading her expression, Syaoran caught her in a hug, and whispered, "Make me happy and just wear them. Please?"

She looked up at him, and blushed. "But I..."

He placed a finger on her lips, smiled, then kissed her again. "You said thank you. That's enough for me." His tone, though gentle, told Sakura he didn't want to hear any more protests, and she decided not to fuss over his present.

"And don't you go trying to reciprocate," Syaoran suddenly said, looking at her sternly.

"How..."

"Sakura," and he touched her cheek, "I know you." _**I love you.**_ "Don't go buying me presents you can't afford. Promise me that."

"Er...okay," she agreed reluctantly.

Sakura had been overjoyed, and reciprocated by making him the best meatball pasta he'd ever tasted; she'd hovered over him anxiously as he ate, and was ecstatic when he'd finished nearly everything she'd made. She was a surprisingly good cook, and now he was beginning to think he was right to want her.

She refused to let him help as she cleared and washed the dishes, so he walked around Sakura's house, slowly realizing how little she really had. _**How is she content with cheap furniture? Why is she willing to live here? **_He felt his heart give a small twinge; he didn't want Sakura to suffer. _**When she marries me, I will make her the most pampered wife in the world.**_

But if his plans came to fruition...which they probably would...he would cause her some suffering. _**I'm doing it for her own good, **_he rationalized. _**I'm giving her a future, a name, **_he thought. _**And my love, **_his mind added before he could stop himself.

_**What **_**do **_**I feel for her? **_Syaoran was confused, and he ran his hands through his hair in agitation. The eleven-year-old he had repressed almost all his life kept coming to the surface these days, becoming more and more demanding and insistent on Syaoran being gentler with Sakura, and being honest about what he felt about her. And worse, that little boy was becoming harder and harder to ignore each day. Syaoran couldn't recall being so wise about relationships as a child, but the little boy's voice was laced with desperation every time he heard it.

The man he'd become was equally insistent on him staying in control. _**You've found a girl who fulfills all your requirements and who is infatuated with you. Take advantage! Mold her into the perfect wife!**_

He'd paced around Sakura's tiny house as he thought, and found himself smelling her sweet scent in her bedroom. Giving in to an impulse, Syaoran lay down on her bed and closed his eyes. Her heady scent filled his nose, and to his embarrassment, he felt himself go hard. He was imagining himself above her, kissing her, removing her blouse, finally seeing what was under her clothes...

_**Damn it to hell! **_Syaoran bolted upwards, furious at himself for losing control even when Sakura wasn't around. Annoyed at himself, he came into the kitchen. She was finishing up, and when he came up behind her, she pressed herself affectionately against him and turned to kiss his cheek.

Unable to resist, Syaoran tilted her chin up, and kissed Sakura gently. When he pulled away, she tiptoed up to reach his lips, and pressed a kiss to them. Then curiously, she took his lower lip between hers, just as he had the first time he'd kissed her. Syaoran bent his head to help her, and opened his mouth to let her have access to his lips.

Sakura felt a thrill go through her; she'd been worried that Syaoran would think she was being too forward with him by kissing him. But when he responded passionately, she was delighted; kissing Syaoran was just so wonderful.

When she opened her lips, he gently slid his tongue in, and touched hers. Instead of resisting, as he thought she might, she melted into his embrace and began to twine her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, and giving herself up to the intimate kiss. He put a hand on her nape, stroking it gently, and she practically purred as she let him draw her closer.

_**What have we here? **_he thought curiously. She was surrendering to him, and...he liked it. _**But wasn't that what I wanted? **_

He raised one hand from her waist to stroke her back, then boldly, he brought his kisses to trail down her neck, licking her gently, tasting her. She murmured softly, liking it, throwing her head back and whispering his name. He gently planted a love bite on one shoulder, and she shuddered in pleasure; it was what made him slide a hand under her shirt, deftly pushing her lacy little brassiere aside and capturing one small breast in his hand.

"Oh!" She flushed red, and opened her eyes; he met them with his own, letting her see how he was savoring her, and slowly traced around the nipple with his thumb, causing a ripple of pleasure to swell through Sakura. She closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation. Syaoran smiled gently at her when her nipple stiffened, and he nudged her cheek with his nose. His other hand reached up to unclasp her bra, and she leaned into his arms, her knees going weak. "Syaoran," she whispered softly as she closed her eyes.

"Sakura..." and he kissed her, hard, his tongue demanding and insistent, and he continued to stroke her hardened nipples as she sighed softly. She did not fight him; she let him have his way with her, and to his surprise, she began to try and do the same thing, pulling away and kissing his neck, and clumsily attempting to plant a love bite on his shoulder.

But when his hands tried to pull her shirt off, she hesitated just a fraction. For Sakura, she was a tiny bit scared she'd yielded such intimacies to Syaoran so soon into their relationship and was terrified he would think she was easy or cheap. Syaoran, however, worried that Sakura had not been ready for the intimacy, and he pulled her close.

"Are you all right?" he asked gently.

"Yes...Syaoran, I...," and she looked up at him and blushed.

"I'm sorry. You weren't ready."

"I...no...I...thought you would think I was easy," and she blushed hard.

_**Is she as eager to make love as I am?**_ Syaoran pushed the thought away then kissed her tenderly. "Never. Everything we share...it's special to me."

"And to me, Syaoran. I'm sorry..."

"No. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong," he reassured her. And Syaoran cuddled Sakura, kissing her hair and stroking her as she snuggled into his chest.

He could feel her responses to him; at the very least she wanted him physically. Did it mean he no longer needed to go through with his preparations? Did it mean she wanted him as much as he wanted her?

Now Syaoran began to think frantically—had he made a mistake with all his preparations to trap Sakura? Was it possible that he would not even need any artifice to make her his?

_**If she loves me... I have to be sure! **_It was the stubborn thought running through Syaoran's head, over and over. _**She has to love me, because otherwise I won't let her go.**_

That he wouldn't let her go either even if she did love him was a thought that would only occur to Syaoran much later, when he realized he had already fallen desperately in love with Sakura.

When Sakura began to fall asleep, Syaoran carried her to her bed, hugging her close and savoring her scent. In her bedroom, he ignored the urge to join her on the bed; instead, he took her shoes off, tucked her in, kissed her good night, and quietly left, locking her bedroom and house's main doors behind him.

And he was haunted by a thought as he prepared for bed: _**why didn't you take advantage of her? **_The man in him harangued and argued, while the little boy congratulated him for not doing so.

Now that Syaoran knew that his presence made Sakura happy, he convinced himself that she needed him in her life, and badly. And so that night, he finished putting several measures in place that would, once set into motion, result in Sakura marrying him. Soon. Logic was flying rapidly out of the window where she was concerned, and all he knew was that he wanted her. Whether he wanted her as the perfect wife or because he loved her was something he was unable to deal with at the moment.

Once home, he lifted the phone and dialed the number for the hotel where he'd billeted the top interior designer he'd summoned from Japan; her reputation had been cemented when her work had been featured in the American edition of Vogue.

"I trust your flight was good?" he asked.

"It was, Mr Li," the woman answered in a soft, cultured voice.

"Good." He gave her the address of the penthouse he'd bought in Causeway Bay for him and Sakura. "It's near your hotel. Meet me there in thirty minutes. Have you received the advance I wired to your account?"

"Yes, and thank you; that was a very generous amount. Thirty minutes, Mr Li."

Syaoran arrived at the Causeway Bay Park Lane condominiums, an expensive development near Lane Crawford and the swanky shopping district, and saw a woman with raven hair and violet eyes watching him. He was suddenly struck by a thought: _**why isn't she carrying a camera?**_

_**But why would she be? **_He shook his head to clear the ridiculous thought.

Tomoyo Daidouji, watching Syaoran Li, could not shake the feeling that she knew him from somewhere. Not that she was attracted; he seemed like an old friend, and she was curious as to why he would feel that way to her.

So she approached him, and introduced herself. They shook hands, and he produced the keycard for the private elevator to the penthouse. He opened the large teak doors on a large but bare condo unit.

"I need you to decorate this for my future wife."

"Generally it would be best if I knew her, Mr Li," and Tomoyo smiled while raising an eyebrow. "Perhaps I could meet her?"

Syaoran flinched. True, he hadn't actually asked Sakura but he had been confident she would be his by the time the designer was done with their home that he'd hired Daidouji, sight unseen.

Tomoyo was not surprised when her client smiled softly. "You'll meet her when we come back from a little vacation. In the meantime, you have an unlimited charge account for the furniture and appliances you think we'll need," and he handed her a black and gold credit card.

"Does she cook?"

"Yes, she does. She makes very good pasta, in fact," and Syaoran smiled at the memory.

"It's nice how much you love her," Tomoyo said shrewdly and smiled. "When did you pop the question? How long have you been together? I must have missed the blessed event in the newspapers."

Syaoran didn't answer; he was beginning to wonder just how perceptive this woman was. Sensing his discomfort, Tomoyo changed her questions, "But it is not my place to pry, Mr Li. What does she look like?" Syaoran pulled out his SmartPhone and showed her a photo of a laughing Sakura.

_**She looks familiar, **_Tomoyo thought. "Is she Japanese?" she asked.

Syaoran fixed Tomoyo with an assessing stare; she was smarter than he'd thought. "Yes, and her name is Sakura Kinomoto. But she lives here."

"Kinomoto...that's not a common surname," Tomoyo mused. "Green eyes and auburn hair. Will she have her own room?"

"A dressing room and study for her, but we will share a bedroom as soon as our engagement ceremony is concluded," Syaoran said, not realizing what he had just revealed to Tomoyo.

Tomoyo chose to ignore the tempting revelation and asked, "What's her favorite color?"

"Pink. Always pink," and again, Syaoran smiled softly at the thought of her. "She also likes peonies and roses. Soft sheets, soft curtains."

"What temperature does she like in her room?"

"She likes it cool," Syaoran said, and was surprised that he knew how to answer the young designer, who was fixing him with a measured look. "And maybe a small personal refrigerator for snacks. You could give her a daybed as well."

It was Tomoyo's turn to stare at Li. Something wasn't right; normally, engaged couples met her together, and from what Li had just let slip, he hadn't even popped the question yet. He was dictating just about everything without consulting his potential fiancee. And yet the way he looked when he talked about her, what he knew about her..._**this man is in love and he doesn't know or refuses to recognize it, **_Tomoyo thought. _**I wonder why he's fighting his emotions? An arranged marriage? **_But it wasn't, as she had said earlier, her place to pry.

"I'll draw up some schemes and mail them to you as soon as I can," she said.

"Good. Here's my card. I have to leave, but you can just lock the doors behind you because I'm sure you'll want to explore the penthouse before making your plans. The floor plans have been sent to your hotel, along with the measurements of this area and the electrical scheme."

"All right, Mr Li."

When Li had left, Tomoyo walked around the penthouse. She had once dreamed of being a filmmaker or a fashion designer, but after the fifth grade in Tomoeda, she had simply lost interest in them, and she never knew why. Drifting into interior design seemed natural.

The Li president's young—fiancee?—was stirring something in her memories. She could see that she was older than Kinomoto—Tomoyo was Li's age—but something was very familiar about her.

She looked forward to meeting her soon.

* * *

Mei Ling and Yelan both noticed that Syaoran was in a good mood ever since he'd taken Sakura to the Grand Hotel several days ago.

They'd also found out that he'd hired the top Japanese interior designer Tomoyo Daidouji to decorate a penthouse he had just bought in the Causeway Bay district...and placed in his and Sakura's name, making her co-owner of the property. He'd even paid advanced taxes on the property, which raised alarm bells in Mei Ling's mind.

He'd also forced Mei Ling to reject Sakura's application to work for the Li Group, and to Mei Ling's dismay, Syaoran had already had his team contact the other places where she had applied to work. And Sakura had been quietly rejected there as well.

"Should I find another place where she hasn't applied?" Mei Ling asked.

"Too obvious. Why would a company she hasn't heard of suddenly contact her? No, our best hope if that the girl wakes up on her own," Yelan said quietly.

They saw Syaoran leaving the office early once more, but this time, he was in an Armani suit, and he took his limousine with him.

"He's not meeting Sakura," Mei Ling said softly. "No, this is something else." Without being asked, she quickly called the man who had followed Syaoran earlier that week, and bade him to follow her cousin again.

The report soon came via a text message. He was headed for Cheng and Yap Partners, a law office known for prenuptial agreements. And he had had one drawn up such that the engagement ceremony would practically be a marriage—an engagement only he could dissolve. Yet the contract provided for Sakura's care and protection should Syaoran choose to dissolve the engagement.

Mei Ling quietly showed the message to Yelan.

"He intends to marry yet he hasn't introduced her to us?" Yelan raised an eyebrow. "And...he is providing for her if he chooses to discard her? She can't call off the wedding, only he can?" It certainly wasn't like Syaoran to think of protecting the girl. Nor was it like him to buy property and place it in a girl's name. And for Syaoran to write in a clause preventing her from leaving him once she signed it... Something had to be very special about her...and not just because she was beautiful or someone Syaoran wanted.

"Show me this Daidouji," Yelan asked Mei Lin.

As Mei Ling searched the Internet for a photo of Tomoyo Daidouji, whom she was curious about, she was struck by the feeling that she knew the woman from somewhere.

"Auntie?"

"You've had another of those odd feelings?"

Mei Ling didn't bother asking why Yelan knew; she'd lived so long with her perceptive aunt that she was no longer surprised by it. Instead, she showed Yelan Tomoyo's photo.

When Yelan saw Tomoyo's photo, she was struck by an overwhelming sense of familiarity. _**I know this woman...but as a child! She has been here before!**_

Now Yelan knew that forces beyond her control were working, and she didn't like it. The loss of memory offended her, and she knew that had damaged Syaoran in some way.

_**Who did this to my son, and why? **_she raged.

Then suddenly, she was caught in a sudden vision, a full one.

_A young Sakura was at their manor, wearing a pink cheongsam, accompanied by her dark-haired best friend, an older brother and her brother's friend. Yelan saw the beautiful little girl, and realized that she was the one meant for Syaoran in that moment. So as she bade the girl farewell, she bent down and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, whispering in Chinese—which Sakura did not understand then—blessings for good luck and eternal protection from harm._

_And this Sakura was Syaoran's age—not six years younger. She was part of the reason why Syaoran had been sent to Japan to begin with._

"Auntie?" Mei Ling was shaking Yelan's arm. "What's wrong?"

"Syaoran and Sakura," Yelan gasped. "Something's very wrong."

"What do you mean?"

Yelan knew that if she was right, then Sakura was being thrust into a world she knew nothing whatsoever of—and Syaoran had been partly responsible.

Yelan stood up. "I have to talk to someone," she said. "Carry on, Mei Ling. My apologies," and she swiftly swept out of the room. She called for her driver, and bade him take her to the Li shrine out in the hills of Hong Kong.

"The shrine, madam?" The driver confirmed the destination, worried; the last time he'd taken Yelan there, almost fifteen years ago when young master Syaoran had returned from some foreign land, she had come out in tears.

"Yes, there," Yelan said firmly.

The reappearance of so many people from the past...she did not believe in coincidences, only destiny. She had questions, and she sensed the time had finally come for her to ask them of the only ones she suspected knew the truth.

Assuming she could make them tell her the truth, that is.

* * *

**Preview of Chapter 5 (Up on or before May 4)**

_Sakura practically danced into the Narita airport, and Syaoran couldn't resist laughing at her. She was excited to be home, and people in the airport, even the normally staid officials, were amused by her perky attitude. She was happy, and she held Syaoran's hand and practically dragged him out of the airport._

_It was cold, and as Syaoran pulled out his SmartPhone to call for the limousine he'd ordered, he placed an arm over Sakura's shoulders to pull her close. She shivered a bit, and gratefully pressed herself close to him._

_That was when Syaoran felt something strange. Early May, and he could see some ice on the road. __**How is that possible? **__Japan's late snows and freezes only lasted at the latest until the first half of April._

_A wind blew, driving biting cold air into their faces, and Sakura sneezed. __**Where was the damned driver? **__Syaoran herded his beloved girlfriend back into the waiting area, where it was considerably warmer, and dialed the driver's number again._

_But the signal was gone. Annoyed, he searched for another network on roaming, and was greeted with the message, "No networks available."_

_Outside, the snow snarled traffic, and quickly piled up several inches high, much to the confusion of the air traffic controllers. Someone with a pink sealing rod screamed, "Fiery! Melt the snow!" and directed Windy to buffet up the incoming airplanes which had been practically blown off course._

_The new Card Master candidate struggled to use two cards at the same time, and only barely managed to seal Snow before collapsing to the ground, exhausted. _

"_Cerberus-san, why was Snow so...active? Why did it focus its efforts on the airport?"_

_Cerberus bowed his head. He missed being called "Kero-chan," and finally having his former Mistress so close...he felt his heart twinge. "Because she...and he...are here."_

_This new Cardcaptor candidate was so easy to love, so much like Sakura had been like, and somehow, that made it easier. But there were times when Cerberus wished his memories of the bright green-eyed girl had been erased as well. It might make things so much easier...especially when he knew where she had been all this time._

**Damn that Li boy!**

"_The first two candidates for Card Master? Kinomoto and Li? What are they doing here?" The new candidate was frantic, almost panicky at the thought, because the cards each had captured would be drawn to them...and there were still four left. "Wasn't she supposed to be safe in a dream dimension?" This candidate had carefully studied the two former candidates; Cerberus had insisted on it, so as to avoid another disaster._

"_Yes. Your life," Cerberus said, "is just about to get harder."_

* * *

Thanks to: **SakuraLover** (Oh, that's lovely! Yes, you hit it on the head; Syaoran is pretty much painting himself into a corner, setting himself up for heartbreak. Which makes what happens next all the more...heh heh, see you next chapter! And thank you; I'm okay now, and wrestling with Getaway Girls 12 ); **iNuQTpIe** (Yes, they will; the memories play a huge role in how this will progress!); **meow-mix23**; **Pipi-chan** (Aw, lady, you know me too well. It's like you've read up to chapter 7, which I just finished drafting! Lurv you too! And say hi to your, ahem, friend!); **Cheeseycraziness** (Yes, and I'm really worried about getting the balance right...hope I didn't botch it. Sorry for the confusion re the updates, and I'll be putting the flickr site in my profile--sorry I haven't captioned everything yet! As for the proposal hint: see the shrine, how lovely it is? heh heh. And you're welcome!); **KamichamaKarinLover25** (Aw, he had no choice XD No, not Toshi, but if you can guess who the new Cardcaptor is, I will happily send you Chapter 5!); **Mystic Moon Empress** (Thank you so much! And since I've finished up to ch 7 updates will be regular); **AngelEmCuti**; **Enamored-Angel** (I am so thankful for your PM, and I really appreciate it I fixed the timeline in this chapter, and will try to edit the original as soon as I can!); **Sakuramsm** (I try to keep within my promised dates andyou're welcome); **SilverNight** (Thank you for noticing the foreshadowing! and yes, he is being reckless, as he often is); **AnonymousT** (Kindly read the next chapters, thanks!); **Raine793** (-blush- aw, thanks! And it's not Sakura who'll have her heart broken -evil grin-); **ccssy -little wolf-** (Thank you!); **bruhareviewer** (More fluff coming up soon...then...heh heh); **storyteller87** (I can tell you he won't really have a hard time convincing her after this chapter LOL); **sakuraakamichelle** (thank you! hope you stay with me till the end!And above is a preview of chapter 5); **whitewave16** (I am so glad you noticed the wolfishness! And re Sakura in Hong Kong, her memories tell her that her parents brought her there--the story tells you how she really got there Nope, this is the same Sakura he fell in love with; she's been in a dream dimension all this time); **michebabyblue** (aw please don't apologize, but thank you!); **Musette Fujiwara** (You hit on it: he is confused. And I love your advice...if it's okay with you I'd like to borrow what you said and have someone say something like that ); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx** (Aw thank you! And I think that since I've written most of this out, there will be regular updates); and **maehwa** (Haha, nice to see someone likes Scary Syaoran! Thank you for realizing I "vagued" up the new Cardcaptor bit).


	6. Falling

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 5**

**Falling**

* * *

_**Parma-violets and Blatant Subtleties are love, because they always give wonderful insights and suggestions for this story. Thank you!**_

**The usual warning: **Adult situation in this chapter, so please skip it if you don't like reading about that kind of thing.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own CCS or this character but the events of this plot that take place after the Last Judgment are mine.

Other notes and thanks are at the end of this chapter.

* * *

_**There is no coincidence in this world. **_**Touya Kinomoto **

_**There is only the inevitable. **_**Kaho Mizuki**

* * *

_Gray-haired, delicate-featured Yukito Tsukishiro had drifted through college, and now ran a small pastry and pasta shop in Ikebukuro in Tokyo. His life was fairly quiet and routine, and he liked dealing with people. Living above his shop made his world smaller, and yet it was cozy, so he felt content...most of the time._

_He had always felt that something was missing. He had no recollection of his first to third years of high school; all he knew was that he'd transferred to Ikebukuro after three years in Tomoeda, right after his grandparents had died. When he __tried to probe his memories, he couldn't find any memories for those years. _

_But he had intense memories of dark hair and brown eyes that haunted him at the strangest moments. Yukito had been searching for those eyes ever since._

_Perhaps a trip to see the sakura blossoms in the last week they were in bloom would clear his mind. It had been years since he had seen them, after all._

* * *

Syaoran ended his and Sakura's little gift-giving game in typical spectacular fashion . Sakura's phone rang as she stepped out of her bathroom early one morning. It was Syaoran.

"Good morning, Syaoran-wolf," Sakura greeted cheerfully; he'd been her boyfriend for over a week now.

"I love your voice in the morning," Syaoran said. "Look outside your window, little blossom," he said, with a laugh in his voice.

Sakura peered outside her bedroom window, and gasped. Baskets of roses and peonies sat in her tiny yard, and in the middle of the delightful mess stood Syaoran, smiling like a small boy.

"Oh, Syaoran!" Without bothering to put her clothes on, she pelted down the stairs in her robe, threw the door open, and flung her arms around Syaoran's neck, laughing and kissing him gratefully. "Thank you!"

"Easy!" Syaoran managed to keep himself balanced, despite Sakura's hanging off his neck hugging him. He began to laugh, and Sakura looked up at him with a curious expression and the odd "hoee?" sound—which he was beginning to love hearing—on her lips, which he kissed gently.

"God I love you," he murmured softly against her lips before he realized what he was saying. It was like the phrase had simply surfaced from his heart, and forced itself out of its own accord.

Syaoran was immediately annoyed at himself for losing control, but he wasn't blaming Sakura for it. Instead he was thankful that she could be inattentive sometimes.

"What?" She hadn't heard him.

Syaoran then did something he hadn't done since he was a boy; he blushed hard enough for it to be noticeable. Sakura opened her eyes, stared at him, giggled, then held one burning cheek with her palm.

"You're so cute when you do that!" And Sakura, overcome with affection for her boyfriend, kissed Syaoran's red cheeks one after the other, causing him to turn even redder. He couldn't find the words, nothing to say. Because her presence was filling that odd hole in his heart so forcefully.

And he was even more embarrassed when he remembered the fragment of memory..._in which a younger Sakura had hugged him and thanked him for saving her from a...card in a tree? It was the first time she had hugged him, and he'd gone completely red and almost fainted._

_**That's impossible! Sakura is younger than me!**_

"Syaoran?" She was peering up at him. "Are you all right?" Sakura could sense his disturbance, and he cleared his throat.

Were those "memories" actually illusions? Who did he keep seeing who greatly resembled Sakura then? Was she the one he was looking for—or did he have to keep searching then? But when he looked at Sakura he knew his search was over, and damn those stupid "memories", whatever they were.

"Never better," Syaoran croaked. She crooked one eyebrow, then realized she was hanging off his neck. "Oh, sorry!" she yelped, as she let go.

He captured her waist in his arms. "Don't be. I don't mind, Sakura." And he nuzzled her nose with his affectionately, loving her nearness, loving her.

Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and affection. "Are you going to kiss me, Syaoran?"

"Depends on whether you like it or not," he teased back, against his own urges for self-control. When he was around her, he lost himself. Was it only a week ago that he would reproach himself when he was alone after allowing himself to get carried away when with her? Because the more time he spent with her, the less the cold part of him insisted on retaining control. And...he was beginning not to care about controlling or possessing Sakura anymore.

Inside him a small boy simultaneously rejoiced and blushed. He was now free to court Sakura normally, for them to find their way to love together.

The adult Syaoran was, however, found himself responding to Sakura as a man...especially when he realized Sakura had nothing on underneath the robe. He picked her up in his arms, causing her to squeal and giggle, and carried her into her house, kicking the door closed behind them and setting her on his lap on her sofa.

"Now, Sakura," and Syaoran bent down to kiss her again. "You said it was your birthday last April 1? Some time before we met?"

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

"I want to give you a late present."

"You mean the earrings and the flowers aren't already the present?" she asked curiously.

"Oh no," and he smiled. "Those were for saying yes to me," and he tightened his arms around her waist, making her smile.

"No, that's too much," she protested. He placed a finger over her soft lips.

"You said you're from Japan, right? I want to see where you were born," Syaoran said. What he didn't tell her was that he wanted to be alone with her somewhere no one could interfere with, or recognize, him.

And...he'd already gotten the engagement ring he'd ordered—the platinum band with the lovely (and outrageously expensive) pink diamond cut into the shape of a small rose (and that had driven the jeweler crazy: "Are you absolutely _**sure **_you want to do _**that **_to such a rare gem, Mr Li?") surrounded by tiny emeralds the color of Sakura's eyes.

"When?" Sakura asked.

"Hmm," and he pretended to think it over, "how about tomorrow evening?"

"Hoee?"

"It's just about three hours or so away from Hong Kong. I need a break, and so do you. Plus...this is the last week the cherry blossoms are in bloom in Tokyo, and I want to see them with you." Unable to resist, Syaoran raised one hand and touched her flushed cheeks, marveling at how this beautiful young girl had wandered into his life and made it so much better. He was pleased when Sakura closed her eyes, smiled, and rubbed her cheek against his hand. Syaoran smiled to himself; he had paid to have a small park full of sakura trees near the Asakusa Shrine closed off so that they could have a private moment together...and so that he could propose to her in a beautiful setting.

Sakura was excited about the prospect of going home to Japan. There was so much she didn't remember, and she wanted to find out more about her family. Maybe she had relatives there?

Then she remembered why she hadn't gone back since she first left.

"I...um..." Sakura fidgeted and blushed. "I don't have enough money to go. I'm so sorry, Syaoran. I don't have a job yet, and I think I should be here to take any calls...I..." She was so embarrassed, she was almost on the verge of tears, because she so wanted to see her old home again.

Syaoran lifted her chin gently. "It's a present-- would you turn down a present from me, sweetheart?" She shook her head, and before she could protest, he went on. "Which means everything is paid for. You're my girlfriend. Why should you be embarrassed? I want to be with you too," he said. "And I want to see Japan, and who better to see it with than you? Please say yes, little blossom."

With his mouth mere millimeters away from hers, and his beautiful amber eyes staring into her own, Sakura was unable to resist. "Okay, Syaoran."

He did not realize that he was no longer pretending around her; his defenses had turned to ash, and his passion for Sakura was guiding his actions. Syaoran smiled, and bent down to kiss her; soon, she was lying beneath him on the couch as they kissed voluptuously.

Sakura sighed; she loved being kissed and touched by Syaoran. It always felt right, and she raised her hands to take his cheeks between them and pull him closer to her.

Of their own accord, Syaoran's hands moved to the sash of her robe; he pulled it open before he could think of what he was doing because he wanted to much to touch her soft skin. Sakura, lost in his kiss, did not care; all she felt was a strange heat from his body, something her own body was responding to, and which she wanted to feel more of.

Because Syaoran meant so much to her. Sakura knew he took pleasure from touching her, from kissing her, and she wanted him to be the one to show her where they could go, and what it meant for them to share each other. Little did she know that she was already Syaoran's world; he loved her, and wanted her badly.

Syaoran's hands moved lower as he continued to kiss her, his tongue gently exploring her mouth, sliding gently over her own. Sakura moaned softly and closed her eyes when Syaoran's hands pushed her robe off her shoulders so that he could kiss and lick her soft neck; he planted love bites on her shoulders hungrily, and her robe began to slip open.

She responded, to Syaoran's delight, her green eyes flying partly open in sensual pleasure. And she whispered, "Oh, Syaoran," right before surrendering to his tongue. He slid her robe open, and she lay almost naked under him. He had imagined the moment he would see her body for so long, he simply stared for a while. Though her breasts were small, they were well-rounded and crowned with brownish-pink nipples which he fondled as he kissed her neck and mouth.

He could feel her stirring restlessly; she'd gotten her fingers in his hair, so he bent down and took one delicious little nipple in his mouth, wanting so much to taste her.

Sakura gasped, and entwined her fingers in Syaoran's chocolate-colored hair. She arched towards him, enjoying the delicious sensations he was causing in her. _**I am so lucky, **_she thought. He knew just how to please her, and he was kissing her fiercely, breathing her name.

She was brimming with emotion; Syaoran caressed her, ran his tongue in the valley between her breasts, ran his hands over her body as though he couldn't get enough of touching her. And when Sakura's own hands began to follow the path he'd taken—_how had he lost his shirt? Did it matter?_--he moaned when she kissed his neck, and her hands strayed across his chest and stroked him. Each little gasp and whimper of pleasure was music to Syaoran's ears, and he wanted to keep Sakura pleased and happy for as long as he could.

It was only when he found that he was very hard, and when he realized that one of his hands had traveled between her soft thighs, almost touching her most secret place, that Syaoran realized what he was doing to Sakura and regained control. He pulled away, blushing violently, ashamed of taking advantage of her near-nakedness and willingness and trust of him. It wasn't that he didn't want her—God knew he did!—but a small voice in his head was warning him that now was not the right time.

She could feel something very hard between her thighs; somehow Syaoran had wound up on top of her, and they both blushed deeply.

"I...I'm so sorry, Sakura," and he averted his eyes as he pulled her robe closed, blushing a bright red as he groped for his shirt. He felt how hard he had become, and turned away, hoping she would not see his arousal...but he was too late; she'd felt it already.

_**Stupid, stupid! **_Syaoran was annoyed at himself for blushing like a small boy, for losing control, but most of all he was frustrated that he had stopped. In the past, he had never hesitated; he had simply taken what he wanted, and often, that resulted in him making love to a woman he pursued days into their relationship.

But with Sakura, the man he was wanted to grab her again and make love to her now. _**I want her! She's willing! Why shouldn't I have her when I always get what I want?**_

And the boy he had been was screaming at him not to force her into anything. _**She deserves to be loved! She deserves the best of you, not just your lust!**_

Sakura was blushing as well, but because she had wanted him to continue. She tied her robe's sash on again, fighting the urge to kiss Syaoran again, to pull him back on her. She liked the sensations he was giving her, and she wanted to see where Syaoran could take her with them.

And she felt that they belonged together; Syaoran felt like destiny; he always knew what she liked, always gave her the perfect presents, always knew just how to make her feel better. So she turned to him, and snuggled against him, placing her arms around his waist and breathing in his beloved scent. Syaoran opened his arms to enfold her in them, and he stroked her hair gently. Breathing heavily, he finally forced his arousal down, and his face returned to its normal color.

"Sakura...sorry," he said, grateful for her not resisting him. "I'm so sorry, Sakura." Syaoran didn't know why he was hesitant when it came to Sakura, and why he was apologizing profusely; had anyone else who knew him heard him, they wouldn't believe it because "sorry" was not a word Syaoran was associated with. Intellectually he knew Sakura was willing, and responded to his loving her; the brief touch of her thighs had shown him she had gotten moist, and once willing, a woman, in his experience, was often ready.

But something told him it wasn't the right time yet for them to consummate their relationship, however passionate they were or how willing they were. Syaoran held her close, finally admitting to himself that he was in love with this delightful, unique, wonderful woman...truly in love for the first time in his life. He kissed her hair and breathed in her scent, knowing that Sakura had already changed his life in so many ways that he had not noticed until now...and he was grateful. It made him love her even more.

"No," Sakura said softly as she kissed his cheek. "I...it's okay," she blushed, but she turned in his embrace and smiled at him gently. She wasn't sure why Syaoran had stopped; she would have given herself to him had he continued because the way he touched her made her feel so many wonderful new things; she could still feel his lips on her nipples, and it made her blush in happiness. Sakura knew she wouldn't have regretted them making love, but Syaoran didn't do things without good reason. So she reached up, found his lips, and kissed him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck, then saying, "Please don't beat yourself up about it. I..." she smiled and blushed, "I wanted you too."

It took everything Syaoran had to keep from tearing her robe off and making love to her then and there until she screamed his name in pleasure...he wanted to hear her scream his name...and he realized he had to leave before he did something he would regret later, or which could possibly hurt her. He couldn't bear to shatter her trust in him especially with something she had no experience with save for what he did with her. And he felt a fierce pride and possessiveness sweep through him: Sakura's first boyfriend, her first kiss, the furthest she'd gone towards full lovemaking—all had been with him, and he intended to keep it that way.

He kissed Sakura, then stood up; Syaoran then hauled the baskets of flowers into the house as she got dressed. Sakura giggled when he refused help, teasing him that he was too 'macho' and he grunted at that.

But he was grateful that she was so happy with him. She was not angry, or upset over what had just happened; she'd simply accepted it. Could it be possible that she loved him too?

Before he left, Syaoran took her into his arms and they hugged for several minutes, each just feeling joy in the other's presence. "You have to give me your passport, Sakura. And you have to pack. We'll be there for four days."

"Four days..." Sakura began to worry. Four days of not being able to send resumes or be available for interviews. But she so wanted to be with her beloved boyfriend, and so she decided to ask him a huge favor.

"Syaoran..." and she was blushing again, "I...could you help me find a job when we get back? I've had so much trouble...and, well...you being a businessman and all, I thought you might know somewhere I could go to apply for a job."

A horrible feeling of guilt was beginning to twist Syaoran's insides. She wasn't even asking him to hire her! He knew what he'd done, how he'd prevented anyone from hiring her, but he wanted her...he _**needed**_her so badly in his life that he pushed the feeling aside and hugged her instead without responding. _**I intend to take care of her and protect her for the rest of her life, **_Syaoran thought. _**That's not a lie. I'll make it all up to you, Sakura, I promise.**_

Sakura nestled back into Syaoran's embrace, ashamed of herself for begging him to help her get a job. But she was getting scared; the utilities were due soon, and she'd already missed the next loan payment. She'd been searching for a job for over a month now, and nothing was coming up; it seemed that Syaoran was the only thing going right in her life.

And for that she was thankful.

* * *

Yelan stood in front of the six Li Clan elders, and demanded to know what was happening. She recounted her memories, and then brandished Syaoran's lasin board and his sword.

"What happened when he was eleven? Who erased our memories? And...who is Sakura Kinomoto, and why is she significant to Syaoran?"

She was met with impassive stares, and just as she was about to lose her temper, a tall, handsome young man with dark hair and midnight-blue eyes behind glasses came to stand at her side. Yelan was surprised to see the Elders all bow towards this young man...and was shocked to realize it was Eriol Hiiragizawa. She had only seen him once before, also during a Clan meeting, but she'd thought he was just an observer, a cousin given his due.

_**Why are they deferring to him?**_

And with the speed of intellect her son had inherited, Yelan knew that Eriol wasn't just another cousin.

"What are you doing here?" Then she sensed the powerful magical aura coming from Eriol, and gasped; she hadn't known such a powerful aura since..._**Why do I know this?**_

_**Because I have magic. And it's coming back.**_

"Madam Yelan Li," he said gently, as he offered her a seat. "I knew this could not be hidden from you for long. But if you let me explain, you'll understand why I did as I did."

"You're not an Elder though obviously you can cow them into submission. Who are you?" Straight to the point.

"Since you know my name I assume you're asking, really, _**what**_ I am," Eriol said softly.

"Talk." Yelan was in no mood for niceties.

Eriol took off his glasses, and eyed them thoughtfully. "If you had knowledge that would break Syaoran if he knew, would you tell him? Or would you wait until he was ready to accept it—say, when he'd managed to remedy it?"

"What mistake did he make then?" Yelan demanded. For an answer, Eriol extended one palm, and pressed it against Yelan's forehead, where it glowed red.

Memories came rushing in a great flood, and Yelan gasped when she realized she was right about Sakura Kinomoto—_**the would-be Cardcaptor**_! But then a second set of memories—and they were not her own—came into her mind. They were Eriol's memories of watching the Last Judgment.

Syaoran had fallen in love with Sakura so much earlier than she thought he would have. Inwardly she rejoiced: _**my son can love after all!**_ But when he fired his thunder spell at Tokyo Tower, Yelan's voice joined the chorus of dismay. She had immediately seen the consequences, and was horrified that Syaoran had let his emotions control him, that he had not thought of what would happen. _**Love doesn't always make us rational**_, she thought, but Syaoran's love had led to dire consequences for so many people.

And Eriol was right; if Syaoran knew, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself easily.

She opened her eyes to find Eriol looking at her sympathetically.

"You are not Clow Reed per se but you wield his power," Yelan said matter-of-factly. Eriol merely nodded. "You must be a reincanation then. And you erased everything to protect all of us," she mused. "I don't know if I should thank you or not. Do you know what Syaoran has become? He's so cold, even I don't know him anymore...but ever since Sakura..."

"I think Sakura is changing him back, and for the better," Eriol said gently. "I once hoped she would fall in love with the Moon Guardian...instead, she loved his false form. That should have warned me that Sakura's heart was very unpredictable. But even though she didn't know it, her heart had already started warming towards your son. I looked into their futures and they were destined to fall in love." Eriol smiled. "Imagine their offspring, Madame Li...two powerful magical humans...ah."

"But Sakura—why is she so young? And where has she been all this time?" Yelan demanded.

"To protect her, she was sent into a dream dimension much like our own—but as such, time flowed very differently for her there. I needed to keep her there until the new Cardcaptor could gather the cards and transform them; he needs them for the fight of his life, and what happens may change even our destinies." Eriol smiled when he thought of the charming little boy he had raised, who was now a handsome and brave teenager developing his magical abilities.

"But when Syaoran's heart wished for Sakura—even though he didn't realize it—and when she wished to be with the one who was destined for her, I lost control over all proceedings and she reappeared here years before she was supposed to."

A soft expression came over Eriol's face; another girl had taken Sakura's place in the dream dimension, and was now safe after her many horrible trials and sufferings...for now. And she, too, awaited the one she had been destined for. He made a mental note to visit her soon.

"Then what prevents the return of our memories?" Yelan asked.

"For you, Syaoran, Mei Ling, Sakura's family, the false form of Yue...memories would have been painful, and would not have allowed any of you to go on without considerable mental torment. Think of it; would you really have wanted to know all these years that your son was responsible for trapping someone in a dream dimension? Or young Mei Ling; she loved your son. Do you think Mei Ling would have been happy if she knew that the Syaoran she once loved, loved someone else?"

Yelan looked quietly at Eriol, waiting for him to continue.

"As for Sakura, the reason why I cannot return her memories is because the Cards will be attracted to her again, especially those she captured and bonded with. Knowing why they are coming to her will hurt her because she considered them her friends. They will search her out because in essence she had won over Yue, and until they are sealed again, they will consider her their real Mistress. It was only on Syaoran's interference that she failed...and some of them know it—the ones Syaoran captured himself. It may keep her from being with him—she might think she is still in love with Yukito, Yue's false form—and and I can't have that...because that would destroy _**my **_wish."

"The power of the wish..." Yelan breathed softly, knowing better than to ask Eriol what his wish was, though she knew part of it involved Syaoran and Sakura. "But I...I also made a wish that Syaoran would find the one who could make him fall in love. About a month or so ago."

Eriol slowly closed his eyes. "Ah. The complication. Three beings with suppressed magic made essentially the same wish at virtually the same time. No wonder Sakura reappeared in this dimension! Such power behind a single wish...But whoever made the most desperate heart's wish is the one who will pay with their latent powers...and I know it wasn't you."

"Because my powers are returning?"

He nodded.

"And what of my son?"

"Deep inside, he knows he caused her failure. Have you noticed how obsessed he is with her, how much he wants to protect her? Imagine how much worse it would be if he knew the truth...and again, that might prevent him from being with her. You know him; he will not forgive himself easily. Sakura needs him now, and since at the time of the Final Judgment she had intense feelings for someone else, returning her memories first will crush Syaoran, especially since Sakura will think herself to be in love with Yukito, Yue's false form. There is a dangerous chance that she will see that false form, in fact, and I fear that we cannot control what happens next. It is in their hands."

"And what if they regain their memories on their own, as I did?" Yelan asked. Eriol looked away sadly.

"Is there anything we can do?" Yelan stood up, feeling her old magical power return to her in small surges. And now she knew why her old fan was so important; through it, she had once channeled her spells, just as Syaoran channeled his through Jian.

"Believe in love. Believe that your son can make her fall in love with him before it is too late. If she sets eyes on the one she thought she used to love...well, then Syaoran will know what it means to be truly hurt," Eriol said softly.

Had they known that yet another complication had already arisen, they would have been even more worried: Sakura had already fallen in love with Syaoran, just as he had with her.

* * *

The next morning, as she packed, Sakura thought of Syaoran, and smiled. He was gentle, loving, passionate even...and she blushed when she thought of where his hands and lips had been recently, of how he kissed her—because she loved it. Though sometimes he could disturb her when he was being mysterious, she trusted him. Whatever was haunting or hurting him, he would tell her when he was ready.

That was when she received the call warning her that her house would be foreclosed if she missed one more payment. At first speechless with panic, Sakura went through her records and reread the contract.

_**I was so stupid! One missed payment and they slap me with so many penalties!**_

Thinking quickly, she went through her jewelry box and sighed; she didn't have much of a collection. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and she chose a large emerald ring which she found too ostentatious. Her mother had never worn it, and neither had she. She pulled on her coat and headed out for the subway, then took an express to Central, where she could sell the ring and make the payment to the HKL Finance Group.

She had no idea that the ring had belonged to her maternal great-grandfather.

Neither did she realize that HKL stood for Hong Kong Li.

It never occurred to her to tell Syaoran of her problems. _**He has enough to worry about with his work, she thought, and I don't want to be a burden. **_But the thought of him made her smile, and she hoped he would come early.

As soon as she finished paying for the two loan installments that were due, she found she had some money left over, and bought some knitting needles and yarn. She wanted to surprise Syaoran with something she had made; he'd let slip the other day that he liked handmade things, and she thought he might like what she had in mind. Sakura smiled and hugged the bag to her chest; even the thought of him made her happy.

Only Sakura could be on the verge of losing her home and yet still be thinking of how to make someone she loved happy.

_**I won't regret going home to Japan with you, Syaoran. I'll come home, find a job, and then work hard enough to give you nice things just like you give me!**_ she vowed silently.

Across town, Mei Ling received notification of the payment transaction, and was surprised; Sakura had not touched her tiny trust fund or withdrawn anything from her meager savings. _Most unusual_, she thought, and she wondered how Sakura had saved herself from the trap Syaoran had set for her. She was also filled with admiration for the younger woman; Syaoran, sitting in the next office, was neither rushing to Sakura's rescue nor rejoicing over Sakura's lack of financial solvency, so obviously she had found a way to save herself without Syaoran's help.

Part of her was tempted to reach for the DELETE and OVERRIDE buttons to cancel Sakura's debt, but it would be suspicious. Instead, Mei Ling resolved to find a way to give Sakura work so that she wouldn't be at the mercy of the loan she had taken out.

Mei Ling was interested in protecting Sakura because she knew that protecting the girl from Syaoran's schemes would, in the end, protect him from himself. _**You have to give love a chance, Syaoran, **_she thought. _**You have to learn how to be yourself with her. Please, oh please, Syaoran.**_

And if she'd had her old memories back, she probably would have laughed at herself.

* * *

When Syaoran arrived that evening at Sakura's tiny house after a grueling day at the office to pick her up and go to the airport, she was dressed in a flowing white dress she had inherited from her mother. Cut like a Greek goddess' gown, it hugged her body in a sensual way without being slutty; a pair of simple gold sandals completed the outfit. She wore only the earrings he'd given her, and Syaoran made a note to have a matching ring and necklace made for her.

He was surprised to feel his breath catch. All she needed was a pair of angel wings..._**What are you thinking? Stay in control!**_

"You look great, little blossom," he complimented her, and smiled. Sakura blushed, and smiled back, reaching up to touch his cheek, and he unconsciously rubbed it against her hand.

"Shall we go then?" he asked cheerfully. The driver placed her small suitcase in the trunk of the car, and Syaoran opened the rear door for her. She wore very little makeup; just some powder, some lipstick—which he fully intended to remove in an interesting manner—and mascara. When she brushed past him, he noticed a light cherry-like perfume which teased his nose.

"How was your day?" he asked.

Sakura shook her head, and frowned. "My applications have been ignored. Honestly, I'm a little worried." She skipped over the little foreclosure episode; he didn't have to know, and she didn't want Syaoran to worry.

Syaoran ignored the guilt that swept through him. "Don't worry," he said. "Something will turn up." Sakura smiled back at him, and he touched her cheek gently. Somehow, as usual, they wound up kissing, and Sakura giggled as Syaoran tickled her gently, playfully. She happily sang along with the radio on their way to the airport, and he felt young, happy, and free.

At the airport, Syaoran found himself being fawned over by obsequious airport officials, much to his irritation. But he allowed them to usher him and Sakura to the VIP area, where he knew they could not be bothered.

"You're going to have to tell me why you're so rich," she said without a hint of greed in her voice or expression. "Which Lee branch is your branch of the family?" she asked curiously. "Are you related to the singer Lee Hom Wang? You're both handsome, after all," she teased him playfully.

Syaoran started; he remembered he'd never corrected her on his surname, and a small boy in his head screamed at him to tell her the truth. "It's Li, as in L-I, actually. Maybe I'll tell you another time; it's a boring story. But I did work for what I have," he said. His pride didn't want Sakura to see him as some feckless, worthless playboy, spoiled and useless. And he truly was proud of his work; once they were engaged he intended to tell her everything.

The call for boarding came and soon, his private jet pulled up to the boarding shaft. Syaoran held Sakura's hand, smiled at her, and stood up. "Come on. We're boarding," he said, relieved that there was a reason to drop the topic.

On the plane, he noticed her freeze up as they took off.

"Are you afraid?"

"Sort of," and she slid her hand into his and squeezed it. "Always been afraid of planes, honestly."

He rose from the seat he was belted into. "Come here, sweet blossom. Maybe I can make it better," and urged her over to a nearby plush couch. Syaoran placed his arms around her, and she gratefully curled up next to him. They lay snuggled together throughout the flight, and Syaoran occasionally pressed kisses to the top of her head.

While they didn't talk, theirs was a companionable silence. Syaoran reflected on how much a part of his life Sakura had become, and he was grateful she couldn't see him because he could feel himself blushing. He didn't even think of making out with her because he was enjoying having her snuggled up to him, and when she occasionally turned to smile at him or kiss him, he was happy.

The closer they got to Japan, though, Syaoran noticed that her eyelids were drooping. At first he hugged her closer, amused that she needed sleep.

But it was when Sakura started murmuring restlessly that he realized something was very wrong. She became restless, and was beginning to sweat despite the coldness of the jet cabin. He couldn't discern any words except "Kero!" and "Yukito!" She was afraid of something happening to "Yukito" and kept repeating, "I don't understand! Why?" And worst of all, for Syaoran, was when he saw her eyes: Sakura was crying. Seeing her cry was tearing him apart.

_**Kero...Yukito...Why do I feel like I should know those names? **_Images of a tiger and an angel flitted through Syaoran's mind and he shook his head. _**More false memories, **_he chided himself.

_**But what is she talking about? **_Syaoran tried calling her name softly to wake her up. When she began to cry, Syaoran shook her, hard. "Sakura!" he cried out. It took several calls before she finally opened her eyes.

"Syaoran?" She was afraid; he could see it in her eyes.

"What happened, Sakura?" He gently wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.

"I..." and her eyes were going hazy, "I don't remember." She looked up at him, fear and uncertainty in her eyes. "But Syaoran, I was so scared.."

He pulled her closer, stroking her hair to calm her down. "I'm here. Don't have bad dreams anymore." Sakura looked up at Syaoran, who added, "I will protect you, Sakura."

"Oh Syaoran," and she bit her lip, "I...that's never happened before. Why can't I remember what scared me? You must think I'm such a...an idiot!"

"Never," Syaoran said, and as he kissed her forehead again, he said softly, "You scared me. I was so worried about you, little blossom."

She buried her face in his chest, and Syaoran held her, stroking her back gently and crooning soothingly at her until they landed. He remembered to ask her, though, "Who's Yukito and what's Kero?"

Sakura's forehead creased, and after a while, she said, "I don't know, though I feel I should. Why?"

Syaoran decided not to remind her of her dream, and instead said, "Nothing. Just me being curious." And he tilted her chin up, kissing her deeply, their tongues sliding gently into the other's mouth. "You'll be safe now. I'm with you," he said as they pulled apart, and she smiled.

"I know. Because you feel like home for me."

Syaoran smiled, and when the steward announced that they could disembark, he gave in to an impulse, picking her up and carried her down the deplaning shaft, causing her to giggle, and amusing the airport crew who saw them. One stewardess whispered to a crewmate, "Now that's not fair. She's beautiful, and she's in the arms of some guy who's handsome, sweet, and straight?"

"Rich too," the other stewardess, whose name was Rika, sighed. "That's Syaoran Li, the Hong Kong billionaire."

"Think he's in the market for a mistress?" the first one joked. "I'd apply."

"Not me," and Rika smiled softly, thinking of her husband. "I think he's so in love with her," she sighed.

"Not like you didn't have a grand romance of your own!" the other stewardess teased, and Rika blushed.

But when Syaoran and Sakura passed by them—he'd let her back on her feet after she protested—she felt like she knew them both.

Rika shook her head. Syaoran was too rich to have moved in circles where she was in—although somehow he seemed familiar to her—and the woman with him was clearly much younger than her. But those hauntingly beautiful green eyes...Rika made a note to tell her husband once she got home; he after all had a better memory than she did.

* * *

Sakura practically danced into the Narita airport, and Syaoran couldn't resist laughing at her. She was excited to be home, and people in the airport, even the normally staid officials, were amused by her perky attitude. She was happy, and she held Syaoran's hand and practically dragged him out of the airport.

"Oooh, I want to have dango again! And maybe ebi tempura, and cold soba...and chocolate-covered bananas, and nikomi...can we, please, Syaoran-wolf?" Sakura tugged him in the direction of the airport concession stands, and pouted when she saw the prices and the lack of any of the food she'd mentioned.

Syaoran laughed and hugged her. "We will, sweetheart, but not here. Don't you know airport food is overpriced and expensive?" He smiled when her eyes widened and she shook her head. "Plus, it's late already. We'll just get to the hotel and have a late dinner there, all right?"

"Okay!" Sakura tiptoed to kiss his cheek, and Syaoran smiled. _**Sooner or later I'm going to break down and tell her exactly how I feel about her, **_he thought. Not that it was an unpleasant thing.

Outside, by the waiting area for cars, it was cold, and as Syaoran pulled out his SmartPhone to call for the limousine he'd ordered, he placed an arm over Sakura's shoulders to pull her close. She shivered a bit, and gratefully pressed herself close to him.

That was when Syaoran felt something strange. Early May, and he could see some ice on the road. _**How is that possible? **_Japan's late snows and freezes only lasted at the latest until the first half of April.

A wind blew, driving biting cold air into their faces, and Sakura sneezed. _**Where is the damned driver? **_Syaoran herded his beloved girlfriend back into the waiting area, where it was considerably warmer, and draped his jacket over her. Sakura looked up at him gratefully, and he hugged her before dialing the driver's number again.

But the signal was gone. Annoyed, he searched for another network on roaming, and was greeted with the message, "No networks available."

Outside, the snow snarled traffic, and quickly piled up several inches high, much to the confusion of the air traffic controllers. Above the airport, someone with a sealing rod that had once belonged to Sakura screamed, "Fiery! Melt the snow!" and directed Windy to buffet up the incoming airplanes which had been practically blown off course.

The new Card Master candidate struggled to use two cards at the same time. Though he had been trained well and knew how to use and capture cards, he was using two elemental cards, and the drain on his magical power was a bit too much for him; he was still quite young, after all. He only barely managed to seal Snow before collapsing to the ground, exhausted; his tousled hair was a sweaty mess.

"Cerberus-san, why was Snow so...active? Why did it focus its efforts on the airport?" he gasped when he'd got his breath back.

Cerberus bowed his head. "Because she...and he...are here."

"The first two candidates for Card Master? Kinomoto and Li? What are they doing here?" The new candidate was frantic, almost panicky at the thought, because the cards each had captured would be drawn to them...and there were still six left. "Wasn't she supposed to be safe in a dream dimension?"

"Yes. Your life," Cerberus said, "is just about to get harder." As he looked at the young boy with the dark hair and eyes, Cerberus sighed.

The gentle-eyed young Cardcaptor, who seemed to be between fourteen to sixteen years of age, was dressed simply in a utilitarian shirt and jeans; Cerberus smiled to remember a green-eyed girl who had worn many different costumes once. _**I wonder what Tomoyo would have dressed this boy in if she knew?**_

And Cerberus fought the urge to reveal himself to Tomoyo. He missed her almost as much as he did Sakura...and not just because she fed him. He sometimes suspected that his job of training the young Cardcaptor would have been easier with her around; she'd always known how to calm Sakura down, and she was so damned perceptive.

Which was why he could not reveal himself to her...until it was time to do so.

* * *

**Chapter 6 preview:**

_When his phone rang again, Syaoran was in the middle of kissing Sakura. Small pink petals were floating lazily about them, and he thought, _**what a perfect place to make out with her! **_He made to throw his phone away when Sakura held his hand._

"_You have to answer it, Syao-wolf," she said. _

_He groaned. "Don't wanna. Wanna be kissing you," he said against her lips, which he pressed little kisses to._

_Sakura giggled. "Why do you sound like a small boy?"_

"_Maybe 'cause I am," and he reluctantly tore himself away from her and barked, "What?" into the phone._

"_Mr Li. We've found the gravesite of Nadeshiko Kinomoto in the Tomoeda Memories cemetery," said the detective he'd hired._

"_Good. Send me the location," Syaoran smiled; he knew this would make Sakura happy, and he mentally added it to their schedule for the next day. "And of the brother and father?"_

_A pause, then, "Sir...they have no burial places, and there is no record of their cremation. But sir...there is an architect named Touya Kinomoto who is the right age, and an archaeologist named Fujitaka Kinomoto, also of the right age...and they live in Tomoeda."_

* * *

**Notes:**

_**Kindly let me know if you think my chapters are too long, so that I can cut them up. Thank you!**_

**dango: **savory balls, a popular yummy Japanese snack

**soba**: thick noodles

**ebi tempura**: battered shrimp

**nikomi**: beef stew

Thank you again to my readers and reviewers! For those who read "The Getaway Girls," my apologies, am a bit stuck thanks to work. As for "Body Memories" my co-author and I are suffering writer's block, so if anyone is willing to help out, please PM me!

**This fic will be updated on Saturday, May 10!**

I'm sorry I haven't been able to read and review anyone else lately; pretty much I go online to update and write to my co-author and beta (hi Parma and Blatant!). But once my sked stabilizes I will be back! :D There are so many nice stories by the people who review here that I hope to do them justice when I can!

_**As for those wondering who the new Cardcaptor is, you've been given several hints, and now you know he's a handsome dark-haired (black or brown) boy. Heh heh. Anyone who makes the right guess will be sent the next chapters and the plotline. Oh, and it's NOT Eriol, because he raised the new Cardcaptor! XD**_

Hello to: **Raine793** (This chapter on schedule as well! And congratulations--you saw the hints I dropped that they weren't dead, yay! And thanks so much!); **michebabyblue** (here you go!); **saphirablossom** (Thank you for seeing the hints that Syaoran is setting himself up for disaster, and yes, they have a role to play with the Clow Cards and the new Cardcaptor -); **Pipi-chan** (Because I heart Yelan! And I suspect YOU will be the first to guess who the new Cardcaptor is!); **meow-mix23**; **whitewave16** (I'm glad you don't mind the fluff and the lime! Thanks for seeing that the lime is due to their deepening feelings for each other. And now you know what's happened to Yelan); **AngelEmCuti**; **SakuraLover** (I'm great and thank you so much; am just stuck with Getaway Girls because the story is running away! LOL, especially when Girl A realizes Girl B is pregnant. Hint: the new Cardcaptor is a handsome young boy, heh heh--check the hints dropped in the earlier chapters!); **KamichamaKarinLover25** (I think you can figure it out, LOL, and yes, EVERYONE is coming back now! Technically this is their story after all); **icyblossom3** (I'm glad you liked Syaoran here, and maybe you will love him even more when he finally proposes to her? -); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx** (Haha I loved writing that part as well. I have always loved the little boy he was, and the cold side of Syaoran is slowly dying thanks to Sakura. You'll keep seeing more here!); **Hououza** (Oh it's wonderful to see you here! You are always so right; yes, things will unravel for Syaoran after he thinks it's OK. And I am so grateful you saw how torn he is. They will both have to deal with it. And Kero is missing Sakura, as you can see; when you realize who the new Cardcaptor is you'll probably laugh XD); **sakuraakamichelle** (Yay! And I am so happy you like it, thanks so much!); **Musette Fujiwara** (Ack, I only saw your PM now, gomen! And thank you so much! Well, now Syaoran knows how he feels XD As for Sakura, thank you; I've tried so hard to just "grow" her up a bit but still be who she was. The new Cardcaptor is easy to love, as seen in the previous chapter, and the cards he's caught are his friends, but now he worries because the cards still loose which were once captured by Syaoran and Sakura will be attracted to them. Poor boy!); **kimiwara** (Hey, leave your email and please don't apologize! And now you know the new cardcaptor is a boy, heh heh. In a way they will return to being 11 but that's several chapters off for now. And please don't worry about the other author; I think s/he won't be copying details anymore because I sent her/him a very polite PM about it); **Silver Rain Drops** (you make me blush! I hope you won't be angry with Syaoran. In a way they will return to being 11 but not in the way you think heh heh XD); **JazzieJazzJazzGirl** (She's not, don't worry; you can see she likes being with Syaoran in -- ahem-- many ways. And now the older Syaoran is losing to the younger one!); **chibiNeko192**; and **iNuQTpIe** (Aha, you are a Tomoyo fan! Me too! But when they get their memories back, one of them will be hurt. Badly...because s/he will realize something. Poor Syao or Sakura!)


	7. Loving

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 6**

**Loving**

* * *

**Author's notes:** "Thank you" no longer is enough for parma-violets, who has patiently helped nurse this story. You are beautiful! (hearts and hugs)

**Please please hit the back button if you don't like adult situations. I won't edit it out because I believe it shows something crucial about S&S's relationship, but I don't want to offend anyone who's too young to read it or who doesn't like reading about it.**

**The usual disclaimer:** I don't own CCS and its characters, but the events that take place after S&S "fail" the Last Judgment are mine.

Also, please note that I DO know about the Sakura Card arc (that's why Eriol is here, hello), but since I chose to take off from the Final Judgment, none of the events of the Sakura Card arc take place here, save for certain references.

* * *

_On the outskirts of Tokyo, in a tiny suburb called Tomoeda, a beautiful ghost was hovering in the bedroom of her husband. He was asleep, tired out from the excavation near Osaka, and in his sleep, he murmured her name. She smiled, and stroked his brow tenderly. In the next room, their son worked on an architectural plan for a new shopping mall in the area._

_Her name was Nadeshiko Kinomoto, and she missed her husband Fujitaka and her son Touya. But most of all, she missed her daughter Sakura, who had disappeared sixteen years ago after failing to become the Card Mistress. Nadeshiko had known about it, and since it was her daughter's magical destiny, she had not interfered. But she had been distraught when Sakura had simply vanished one night...and Fujitaka and Touya believed she was dead. That had not been part of her destiny._

_But Sakura was not in the land of the dead. Unable to move beyond Tomoeda to find out what had become of Sakura, Nadeshiko had mourned the loss of her daughter, and was alarmed when both her husband and Touya did not seem to take Sakura's disappearance badly. Even when she appeared to Touya, he seemed lost; Nadeshiko knew he had lost the one he loved many years ago._

_And their feelings and memories...they did not know what was going on, and so they did not realize how much of a horrible loss it was that Sakura was not there._

**Their memories are gone, **_she realized with dismay. Though he could not see her, Fujitaka still remembered her but at night, Touya would toss and turn and scream, "Yuki!" every now and then...but when he woke up, he never remembered his dreams. She had always known "Yuki" was a false form, but he was still a person, and she felt some of her son's pain. _

_But that evening, she suddenly realized that Sakura's aura had returned to the mortal plane. There had been a freak storm earlier, and though Sakura was distant, Nadeshiko rejoiced to know her daughter was alive._

_What had happened and where she had been were mysteries...and Nadeshiko started when she realized that the other aura with Sakura was that of the little boy who had been in love with her daughter all those years ago._

_And Sakura was coming closer to Tomoeda!_

_Nadeshiko smiled. Now how was she going to let Touya and Fujitaka know that their beautiful little Sakura was still alive?_

* * *

The snow had disappeared as mysteriously as it had arrived; "freak storm," the airport announcers had called it. Despite their assurances that the weather would warm up now, Syaoran had bundled Sakura up in his jacket and an airport blanket in the waiting area as he watched for the limousine; he didn't want her catching a cold. He couldn't resist kissing her before he went outside again; she smiled up and returned the kiss, to his joy. He'd started when he'd sensed two auras, both strangely familiar. One resonated with him so strongly, he'd thought it was perhaps a sibling of his...but only one sister, Fuutie, was in Japan, as far as he knew.

_**What the hell am I thinking? **_He looked upwards, and the Cardcaptor who had been watching him quickly dodged backwards, so Syaoran saw nothing. _**Auras and magic don't exist, **_Syaoran chided himself.

Above, Cerberus gave a low growl.

"Cerberus-san? Why are you angry at Syaoran?" asked the young Card Master candidate.

"It was that little _**gaki's **_fault why Sakura was trapped in the dream dimension," snarled Cerberus. "And now he summoned her back into his life...and she's fallen in love with him...and from the looks of it, he's getting his powers back."

"Will that attract the cards to him then, sir?"

"Only the ones he captured. It would be awful if the ones she captured went for Sakura because her powers are still...can't you sense it?"

The new Cardcaptor closed his dark, thickly-lashed eyes and concentrated. Li was, indeed, getting his powers back; that he'd looked up just as the Cardcaptor was watching him was one indication. But as for Kinomoto, he could only sense a faint magical aura from her.

"Oh no," the young Cardcaptor said. His grip on the pink sealing rod tightened; it always amused Kero that the boy had never once commented on the ridiculous way the rod looked, especially in a boy's hands. "She won't understand, will she, Cerberus-san? And if she regains her memories...they were her friends, I remember Father saying that..."

"Indeed," Cerberus sighed. "Now...let's redouble our efforts. They are here; we must catch the last cards before Yue finds Sakura or Syaoran. We'll just have to stay around those two...lovebirds," Cerberus snorted, "so that our job will be easier. Thank Clow you caught Fiery and Earthy first...then again given who you are, Fiery was naturally attracted to you."

The Cardcaptor smiled. "Father says Li-san has an affinity for lightning, while I have an affinity for fire. Isn't that odd?"

"No, not really." Cerberus thought sadly of why he preferred to be in his true form most of the time these days—because of the blue-and-amber-eyed monster who could appear in their world any day soon.

"Er...if I may, Cerberus-san?" the Cardcaptor asked. He had been watching Syaoran as he stood outside the airport; Syaoran resonated strongly with him. He knew how Syaoran had grown up, what kind of a man he had become, and yet he felt sorry for Syaoran. "I...can feel that he loves her," the young boy with the brown hair and eyes ventured.

"I never said he didn't," Cerberus said. "Only...love can get in the way of so many things, and sometimes, we can hurt the ones we love."

The handsome young Cardcaptor, who seemed to be between fourteen to sixteen years old, frowned. "How can you hurt someone you love?"

Cerberus smiled. "You're still idealistic, little one."

"I believe that to love and be loved is the most wonderful thing. Like Father and Mother loved each other," he declared passionately.

"Ah yes, well, Eriol...your adoptive father Eriol drilled that into you, didn't he?"

The Cardcaptor nodded earnestly.

"Remember why Sakura was trapped in the dream dimension?" Cerberus asked.

"Yes. Syaoran's interference caused her to fail," was the prompt response.

"But he interfered because he loved her. And Syaoran failed to see the consequences of his actions. See what I mean?"

"Oh." The Cardcaptor paused to think it over. "Thank you for the lesson, Cerberus-san."

Cerberus sighed. "Sometimes I wish you weren't so polite."

"I'm sorry, sir," the Cardcaptor apologized.

"It's all right. It's your nature, after all," Cerberus said kindly. "Especially given who raised you."

The Cardcaptor smiled as he remembered his adoptive father, Eriol. Though he knew he had been adopted by Eriol as a baby—Eriol had taken care to explain this to him, and to reassure him that it didn't matter, he and his wife loved him anyway—he still loved his "father" dearly. He'd come from nowhere, and Eriol and his "mother" Kaho had taken him in and loved him. He resolved to call his mother later, and then his father in Hong Kong. "But sir, because of Libra, I foresee some emotional pain caused by confusion headed in the direction of Li and Kinomoto. Can I..."

"No, that would be interfering. I am sorry," Cerberus said. "But until you earn your name, you may not yet interfere."

"But I would have seal all the Cards, for me to earn my name," the Cardcaptor protested. And then a more pleasant thought occurred to him. "But once I earn my name, I will be able to find the girl I was destined for, right?" It was the thing that had kept him going since he first became a candidate a year ago, because he'd seen how love could bring out the best in people.

"And we're wasting time on this rooftop because...?" Cerberus smiled.

"I wish I could find someone to love as much as Li-san loves Kinomoto-san," the Cardcaptor said wistfully. "Someone who loves me as well."

"You will," Cerberus smiled, pleased at the double-edged answer he'd given. "All your answers will come when you've gathered all the cards. Now, let's go home and rest...and maybe we can have some pudding?"

"I made some before we left, Cerberus-san. Is chocolate all right?"

"Always," and Cerberus smiled.

* * *

As they were driven to the posh Grand Hyatt at Roppongi, Syaoran's SmartPhone went off. Sakura had missed a payment on her loan. But she had managed to make it, the penalties, and to advance the next loan installment as well that afternoon.

_**She never told me, **_Syaoran thought, _**she just went and found some way to handle it. **_Syaoran was slightly hurt that Sakura hadn't told him of her difficulties. _**Doesn't she trust me?**_

Then he felt slightly ashamed when he realized that she was in that situation precisely because of him; by all rights she shouldn't trust him to begin with. But since she had asked him for help with a job, he supposed it was a good thing. He placed an arm over her shoulders as she snuggled up to him in the limousine, enjoying the feel of her in his lap. Part of him admired Sakura's pluckiness and resourcefulness; she would make a magnificent partner in so many ways. But the other part, the cold one which still threatened to take over him, was disappointed that she'd managed to evade the trap yet again.

_**Why should I trap her? **_one side of Syaoran argued. _**I love her. That's enough for me. Why should I cause Sakura misery?**_

_**No, she has to belong to me, **_the cold side insisted. _**Body, mind, heart, and soul.**_

_**Do I have the right to force my love on her? **_the young boy in him insisted.

And the cold part of him sneered, _**Great time to develop a conscience, Li, just when you've succeeded in almost getting Sakura into bed with you!**_

Syaoran blushed and pushed his thoughts aside. He'd deal with them later, when they got back to Hong Kong. Instead he turned to Sakura, and said, "So where is your home town?"

"Tomoeda," Sakura answered. "It's on the outskirts of Tokyo." She pointed it out on a map, and Syaoran was surprised to feel a familiarity with the place.

_**Now why is that?**_

As they took the elevator to the large suite he'd chosen, he bent down to kiss her; she was irresistible, and when she responded with such lovely eagerness, he found himself drowning more and more in her.

_**He's such a wonderful kisser, **_Sakura thought, and as his hands traveled to her shoulders to caress them, she sighed. Their tongues entwined, and she kissed him back gently, trustingly.

And when she saw that there was only one large bed in the suite, she blushed, because she had been wanting to sleep next to Syaoran since they had become a couple. _**What will it feel like to be in his arms all night? **_She felt a thrill run through her. A thought made her smile: _**will we be able to keep our hands off each other tonight? **_She looked at him and blushed; she hoped not. Sakura was a little afraid; she had never made love, let alone even gone into heavy petting or making out, but when she looked at Syaoran, she knew she trusted him to help her through it. And by God he was just so handsome, and when he looked at her when he thought she wasn't looking, Sakura could feel the passion he held for her, and it made her feel wonderful.

Syaoran missed Sakura's meaningful glance at him as he was blushing as well; he'd been so confident when he booked the suite, but now that the bed was here, he suddenly felt embarrassed. _**Why do I always have to lose my composure when she's around?**_

"You want to change first?" Syaoran asked to break the silence. "I can change while you're in the bathroom."

"Okay," and Sakura pulled out a nightgown from her luggage. Outside, Syaoran stripped down to his boxers before realizing that he'd forgotten to bring sleepwear. He'd been traveling alone for so long, he'd packed automatically.

_**Oh god no, I'm going to be sleeping next to her almost naked, **_he thought, and a flush crept over his cheeks. _**Damn it, why am I blushing now?**_

So he crept under the sheets first, hoping to hide himself. The cold, arrogant side of him was screaming at him to just take Sakura, take her hard and fast now, to satisfy his lust for her. But he couldn't bring himself to even look at her.

_**Why the hell am I hiding?**_

He certainly had never hidden before; he knew he was very good-looking, and used to show his body off to the women he'd once been with to whet their appetites for him. But now he was somewhat ashamed of himself. It didn't make sense, not to the man in him, for him to be acting like a boy.

Before Syaoran could torture himself further with his own thoughts, Sakura came out of the bathroom in a pink nightgown, and he smiled; pink, it was always pink with her, and he suspected he would never look at pink again without thinking of her.

Sakura slid between the sheets next to him and giggled—_**was Syaoran blushing? **_He was so unpredictable at times; he could be suave and smooth one minute then be a blushing boy the next. But what was consistent was the way he treated her, the way he looked at her as if she was the most wonderful thing to happen to him. Sakura smiled lovingly at him; she hoped he could see what she felt on her face as well, and she touched his cheeks. They were burning. Sakura smiled, and affectionately pressed tiny kisses to his cheeks, his lips, and his nose.

Syaoran found himself swept up in his emotions, and for once, he was not annoyed by them. She was so sweet, so naïve and so trusting, he found himself responding to that in her. He then wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her near. Sakura smelled sweet, and she lay in his embrace quietly before turning to nestle against his chest. She happily snuggled up to the man she loved, and when her legs were tangled with his, she didn't protest; instead, she inhaled his scent, and kissed him before falling asleep.

Syaoran watched her in the moonlight slipping into the room through the bay windows. _**So beautiful,**_ he thought. He kissed her forehead and whispered a wish that she would have good dreams. Surprised at his own tenderness, he moved to slide his tongue over her neck and shoulders, tasting her, savoring the sweetness of her smooth skin. He kissed nearly every inch of her shoulders, softly whispering her name. Had any of his former lovers seen him, they would never have believed how tenderly he was acting with Sakura.

In Syaoran's head, the little boy who was screaming at him to stop was drowned out by the man who was delighting in Sakura's body, in her responses. She was slowly waking up, smiling sleepily as her fingers tangled in his thick hair. As his tongue explored her neck and shoulders, his fingers found her small nipples, which had hardened under her nightgown. She sighed softly when he pulled the nightgown off her, continuing to kiss and fondle her breasts gently. She finally opened her eyes to find Syaoran loving her, and Sakura's breath caught; she flushed a bright red and gasped Syaoran's name. While he kept his eyes open to see her, she closed hers to enjoy what he was doing.

She was so beautiful, Syaoran moaned at the sight of her enjoying his touch. He gently teased a nipple with each thumb, then took one into his mouth. God she tasted sweet! Syaoran flicked them with his tongue, teased them with his teeth...her breasts swelled, and she ran her fingers through his messy cocoa hair, pressing her breasts to him and whimpering for more.

He then slid a hand between her thighs, gently rubbing her soft mound through her panties. Sakura gasped, and pressed herself back against him, eagerly enjoying his touch. Her underwear became moist, and Syaoran slid them swiftly off her, unerringly finding her small bud of pleasure, causing Sakura to gasp. He made light little circles around it with his fingers, observing her reaction carefully; clearly she liked it, because her hips were moving and she had spread her legs open without knowing it, and gasping, "Syaoran!" . She clung to his shoulders and buried her head in his neck, whimpering and biting her lip, because only Syaoran could make her feel that way.

"Oh Syaoran," she whispered into his ear, then gasped as his gentle stroking began to be more insistent, and his breath came faster in her ear as he kissed her, his tongue thrusting into her mouth possessively. As he gently teased her little bud, he suckled her nipples gently, alternating that with licking and sucking on her shoulders, which he now knew she loved.

Then he looked into her beautiful green eyes with his dark amber ones, smiled before giving her one more kiss, and slid himself downwards, placing his tongue where his finger had been. Sakura suddenly screamed, "Syaoran!" and her slender hips buckled in pleasure. He held her down gently and continued to taste her most intimate secret, savoring her sweetness, flicking the little bud with the tip of his tongue. Then he parted her labia and slid his tongue in, rejoicing at being the first to share such an intimate caress with her.

Sakura was nearly going crazy with pleasure; she pressed herself against Syaoran's mouth, and bit her lip hard enough to make it bleed slightly. She was moaning his name over and over; she loved him so much, and for him to create that giant thrill somewhere in her most secret region...she threw her head back, not knowing whether to scream or to cry for joy.

He was delighted when a long hissing breath and her tensed body told him that Sakura had reached her first orgasm. _**And I gave it to her! **_he rejoiced. Part of his triumph was possessive; he was proud that he could elicit such reactions from her. But another part of him was happy because she'd clearly enjoyed herself

Sakura couldn't put a name to what Syaoran had just given her—a sweet explosion of sensations that made her want to cry from sheer joy, and made her want even more, but it was so perfect that he had given it to her. Between her thighs, she could feel him; he was hard, and she was excited; were they going to make love now? She thought they would when Syaoran pulled his boxers off with an impatient sound, and bent back to kiss her; she could taste herself on his lips.

Syaoran paused as he slid back above her; she was moist, and very willing; she was flushed with happiness, breathing hard. _**I could take her now, and she will thank me for it, **_the cold part of him said.

_**I don't have a condom, **_he realized abruptly. He knew he would not be able to control himself if he took her innocence now; did he want to force her into marriage because she was pregnant?

With that realization, the small boy in Syaoran's head finally succeeded in making himself heard. _**At the very least wait until you have the ring on her finger!**_

Syaoran raised his head. Sakura opened her eyes and touched his cheek with one hand. Her innocence and trust swept him out of the sensual haze he'd been caught up in, and he groaned.

_**I have never hesitated before! Why did I stop?**_

_**Don't take advantage of her! **_the other part of him screamed.

"Oh no...I am so sorry," Syaoran apologized. He'd lost control around her, yet again. "Please forgive me, Sakura, sweetheart," he said gently. He had the feeling he would be apologizing to her over and over during this trip, especially at night.

"Sakura, I...I can't resist you," he said honestly, as he took her lovely face between his hands. "I...We're not...engaged...yet," he said softly, "and I should wait to make love to you when we are. Forgive me." He kissed her and crooned to her as she lay in his arms quietly; for a moment, he was terrified he'd scared her off, but she snuggled into his arms and kissed him. He smiled at her; clearly, she was becoming sleepy.

"Sleep well, little blossom," and he embraced her. "No bad dreams," he added gently.

All Sakura heard was, "I should wait when we are." She smiled, and hugged Syaoran back. Did he mean it? Was he really planning to marry her?

And she knew what her answer was going to be if that blessed event happened soon. She enjoyed being in his arms; he was so

When Sakura closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, Syaoran stayed awake, holding her, pressing kisses to her forehead. "I love you, Sakura," he said softly as she curled into him in her sleep. The cold part of him was completely silent, but had it been able to say anything to him, it would have told him he was being stupid. Yet he could not stop himself from saying again, "I love you so much, Sakura."

Though she could not hear him, she smiled in her sleep.

* * *

Sakura woke up in Syaoran's arms the next morning, and smiled, then blushed to realize she was naked in his arms...and so was he. She felt happy; the memory of what he'd given her the night before, those sweet, wonderful sensations...she reached up to kiss him. He'd pulled the sheets and the warm covers over them, which was why she had slept well.

_**Or it may be because he was next to me, **_Sakura smiled. She closed her eyes, remembering how Syaoran had touched and fondled her the night before, and pressed herself against him. She raised one arm to trace his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks...oh how she loved every bit of him!

Syaoran woke up, and smiled; it was a wonderful feeling to wake up next to the woman he loved.

"Good morning, little blossom," Syaoran said softly.

Sakura smiled, feeling the time had come for her to say something. "Syaoran?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," she said simply, her green eyes watching his own.

Syaoran started; he hadn't expected this of her. He never realized that this was what he'd been scheming and manipulating her for; now that the moment was there, he couldn't believe she'd said it first.

"You mean it? Because I love you, Sakura. Since I first saw you," he said before he could stop himself. "Oh, Sakura," and he kissed her tenderly.

He heard her gasp of pleasure. "Do you believe in destiny?" she asked him. "Because...I feel like I've always known you. It's why I trusted you so soon."

"You...you make the hole in my heart go away," Syaoran said softly as he touched one palm to her cheek. "I...it's like there's nothing for me but...it's you," he said almost helplessly.

She pushed herself upwards, and her lips found his. And he almost yelped when she bit his lip gently, playfully.

"Oops. Sorry," she laughed. He could see that she had meant to tease him, and he smiled. Syaoran was blushing but he had to admit he'd liked it. "No, I was just startled."

Sakura knelt above him and bent down to rub her nose against his. "I lovelovelove you, Syaoran Li."

He smiled, and gripped her waist, then pinned her under him. "Is this a contest to see who loves the other more? Because I have you beaten already," he said.

"And why is that?" Sakura reached up to kiss his cheek.

"I've always known I would love you. I've been searching for someone like you, sweet blossom. For so many years...I never even knew you existed just a few months ago and now here you are...and you're so beautiful...I love you, Sakura Kinomoto!" he groaned, and began to kiss her again.

Sakura ran her hands over Syaoran's chest, and curiously, she reached into his boxers, finding him hard and ready. Syaoran moaned and pulled her hand away from his manhood.

"No, please..,don't, sweetheart."

"Why not? You've touched...you..._**kissed**_...me there," she said playfully. "And...I think you like being touched, don't you, Syao-wolf?"

Syaoran's amber eyes glinted with mischief. "Because if you touch me _**there **_now, little blossom, you won't be able to have breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner," he said as he pulled both her hands up above her head and locked them under his.

Sakura blushed and giggled. "Can't see why I should mind," and she was reduced to gasping and whimpering in pleasure when he ran his tongue over her neck and shoulders. Syaoran forced himself to ignore her breasts, which were pressed against him, and the fact that she was completely naked under him.

"Tell you what, Sakura," he said softly as he kissed her with little affectionate pecks. "Let's get through the day...then tonight, I promise you can do whatever you like with me."

"You mean it?" Sakura smiled broadly; she had a few ideas already from the romance books she had hidden in her luggage.

"I promise, sweet blossom," and Syaoran kissed her. "Now let's get dressed for breakfast, then we're going to see the sakura blossoms."

"Hurray!" Sakura hugged him, grabbed her nightgown, slid it on, leapt out of bed and ran for the bathroom, cheerfully chirping about the sakura blossoms. Syaoran smiled; for some reason, Sakura's happy singing was familiar to him, and made him feel warm. He resisted the urge to join her in the bathroom, but when he found her panties by the side of the bed where he'd thrown them the night before, it took all his willpower to keep from following her in. Instead he focused on willing his erection away, then he stood up, chose a loose green madras shirt and jeans for the day, and tucked the tiny velvet box with the engagement ring in one pocket.

He took a robe from the suite's walk-in closet, wrapped it around himself, then sat down to wait for Sakura to come out of the bath. _**If she says yes, **_Syaoran thought, _**then we will make love. **_He closed his eyes, and smiled; given how she'd playfully attacked him this morning, he felt that every aspect of his life with her was going to be a joyful surprise from now on. _**I am happy with her. She makes me so happy. And that's only one of the reasons why I love her.**_

And the cold part of Syaoran finally died away with that realization.

* * *

Syaoran held Sakura's hand as they wandered through a grove of sakura trees in the private park near Asakusa Shrine. There was no one else around, and Sakura suspected Syaoran had had something to do with it. She was smiling widely, and every now and then she would pull her hand away from his and run over to a pretty bush, or point out something attractive, and he indulged her. Dressed in a yellow sundress and white sandals, she was a beautiful vision, and Syaoran realized how she had grown to become an auburn-haired version of her magnificently beautiful mother Nadeshiko.

He felt at peace for the first time in his life. The woman he loved was laughing and running through the trees; he thought of what a lovely picture it would make if sakura petals were floating around her. Syaoran had been thinking of the lovely vision when a sudden wind showered her in sakura petals. He gasped; it was such a beautiful sight. Sakura laughed and twirled in the petal storm; in that moment, Syaoran knew he would never be able to think of spring without thinking of her ever again in his life.

"Syaoran! Did you see that?" she called to him as he walked towards her.

"It was beautiful," he said quietly, "but not as beautiful as you," and he bent down to kiss her. The wind died down as they kissed gently.

He felt in his pocket for the engagement ring, and pulled it out of its velvet box. It was time.

"Sakura. I...uh...I know it's been...oh damn." The speech he'd carefully prepared vanished completely and he blushed.

"Syaoran? Is something wrong?" Sakura furrowed her brow and reached up to touch Syaoran's cheek. She felt like she would burst from loving him, and she wanted to make sure he was all right.

"I love you," Syaoran suddenly blurted out, and he held her hand. "M...marry me. Please, Sakura," and he was humiliated by the desperation in his tone.

"Hoee?" Sakura smiled broadly. "Do you mean it?"

Syaoran smiled at her weakly; his cheeks had gone a deep red. "I...I can't imagine a life...without you," he confessed. _**Damn it I've never said that to anyone before!**_

Sakura threw her arms around Syaoran. "Oh yes! Yes, of course!"

It was Syaoran's turn to ask, "Really?" He took one hand from around his neck and held it.

"Very much so, silly wolf," she teased. He slid the ring on her finger, and she gasped when she saw the pink diamond. "It's also in the shape of a rose!"

"Just for you," and Syaoran raised her hand to his lips so that he could kiss it.

He bent to kiss her, and this time, he was surprised when her tongue slid into his mouth. They stood there kissing, and Syaoran, giving in to a fit of whimsy for the first time since he was a boy, picked Sakura up and whirled her around, both of them dissolving into giggles. He collapsed on a pile of sakura petals, Sakura laughing above him, and she caressed his cheeks.

"Oh Syaoran," she said softly. He smiled, and kissed her again; when his tongue slid to her neck, she giggled and chided him, "We're in a public place, Syao-wolf."

"Don't care," he murmured sulkily, then laughed. He couldn't remember being happier in his life. "Love you."

"Mmm, love you too," Sakura said, and she kissed him back.

And then Syaoran's phone rang. He'd completely forgotten about it. "Excuse me, Mrs Li," and he rubbed his nose against Sakura's playfully. She giggled, and stood up.

"Syaoran?" It was Mei Ling. "Er...we have no idea where you are...and...well..."

Syaoran slapped his forehead; he'd completely forgotten to tell anyone where he was going.

"I...I'm in, er, Tokyo."

"You're what? Who are you meeting with?" Mei Ling asked frantically. "God Syaoran I thought...maybe your enemies...oh..."

"No...just...never mind...erm, what is it?"

_**Syaoran is stammering? **_Mei Ling stared at the phone to make sure she'd dialed the right number. She had.

"Your appointments...I mean, I have no idea what to do..."

"Uh...Mei Ling, I can't come back until next week." Syaoran heard Mei Ling gasp, but as he expected, she didn't say anything. "I'll fax over a temporary power of attorney for you. And you should look into pirating the Kurogane guy from Citigroup so that you'll have an able partner."

"Wh...Syaoran? You said we'd keep it in the family!"

"We will. And contact Mother. I'm getting married!" and Syaoran threw his head back and laughed happily.

A long pause, then Mei Ling asked cautiously, "Are you all right?" In the same tone someone would use when asking someone else "Are you on drugs?"

"Aren't you going to ask me who it is?" Syaoran teased.

Again, Mei Ling stared at the phone. "Who are you and what have you done to Syaoran?" she demanded.

"I _**am **_Syaoran. Now hang up; I want to go make out with my little blossom," Syaoran hung up.

Yelan Li, listening over the extension, groaned. "Oh God no," she said,

Mei Ling shook her head. "That couldn't have been Syaoran."

"It was," Yelan said sadly.

"Why are you worried?"

"He's in Japan," Yelan said sadly. "He might get his memories back."

Mei Ling smiled. "Does it matter? He's in love. And he sounds happy, for once."

Yelan slowly smiled. "You're right." But deep inside she was still very worried.

When his phone rang again, Syaoran was in the middle of kissing Sakura. He made to throw his phone away when Sakura held his hand.

"You have to answer it, Syao-wolf," she said.

Syaoran groaned. "Don't wanna. Wanna be kissing you," he said against her lips.

Sakura giggled. "Why do you sound like a small boy?"

"Maybe 'cause I am," and he reluctantly tore himself away from her and barked into the phone, "What?"

"Mr Li. We've found the gravesite of Nadeshiko Kinomoto in the Tomoeda Memories cemetery," said the detective he'd hired to find Sakura's family's graves.

"Good. Send me the location," Syaoran smiled; he knew this would make Sakura happy. "And of the brother and father, Touya and Fujitaka Kinomoto?"

A pause, then, "Sir...they're still alive."

Syaoran frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir."

"All right then. Send me the address."

Syaoran snapped his phone off and looked at Sakura, who was watching him curiously.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

_**She is sensitive to my moods, **_Syaoran thought. "When you...lost your family, who raised you?"

"I pretty much grew up alone...no, wait, I think my family was with me until college, then there was a car accident...no, a crash...I..." Sakura opened her eyes wide; memories were swirling and blurring in her mind's eyes, and she began to get a headache. Syaoran could see her reddening in pain. "I grew up with them...until I was in college...no, high school..." She was starting to sweat.

Alarmed, Syaoran grabbed her and embraced her. "What's wrong?"

"M...my head," Sakura gasped, right before she went limp in his arms.

_**Damn it to hell! What's happening to Sakura? **_Syaoran was furious, because there was nothing he could do, no one he could find and punish for what was hurting her.

And then he noticed that the wind had picked up around them. He cradled Sakura in his arms and stood up, walking away; to his surprise, the wind died down where they had been and followed them, buffeting them gently.

_**What the hell? **_Syaoran was getting angrier; he didn't like not having a physical opponent, and he didn't believe in the supernatural.

Or did he?

* * *

**Preview of Chapter 7**

"_You're thinking of your parents, aren't you?" Cerberus asked._

"_I love them," the Cardcaptor said simply. "They're responsible for the best in me, Cerberus-san."_

"_I know they're proud of you," Cerberus said, and the boy smiled. _

_Yet when the young Cardcaptor looked at Syaoran, it was like looking at a father he'd never known. Could Syaoran be his real father? He'd asked Eriol about it, and while Eriol hadn't said yes, he also hadn't said no._

_The boy couldn't understand it, not even when Eriol or Cerberus explained that odd thing about souls in different dimensions.But he trusted his father, and so he accepted the answer he'd been given. __Eriol had been insistent: "My son, you should understand that every soul is precious. Even those who are created, once they develop their own souls, their own hearts, they cannot be wantonly used and allowed to die. But without a heart, without a soul, a body simply becomes a place in which outrages can be committed. You'll understand once the cards are converted."_

_But the Cardcaptor knew he would be more than happy to interfere, to help save Syaoran once his love for Sakura was threatened. The boy believed in love, and in everyone's right to find their way to it. __The Cardcaptor smiled at the thought of helping Syaoran, then frowned when he looked in another direction. "Cerberus-san, isn't that...the false form of the Moon Guardian?" and he pointed._

_Cerberus opened his eyes wide in horror. It was Yukito Tsukishiro, and he was walking in the direction of Sakura and Syaoran._

"_Get Sakura and Syaoran out of there, __**now**__," Cerberus commanded the Cardcaptor, who thought quickly, then released Rain. It had the added effect of distracting Flowery, and the Cardcaptor happily sealed the card, pleased that this capture had been so easy._

"_Oh!" Sakura pulled away from Syaoran when she felt the rain. Syaoran opened his eyes, and quickly covered Sakura with his jacket, whisking her back to the limousine as fast as he could._

_But he stopped outside the limousine. It was that aura again, and Syaoran was almost convinced he saw a young boy with brown hair and eyes who seemed like...__**was it even possible?**_

_The vision quickly disappeared, and Syaoran, in response to Sakura calling for him to come in out of the rain, climbed into the car._

_Yukito caught a glimpse of them, though, and he wondered why they looked so familiar to him. He shrugged, then went for the incense burners; he'd come to pay devotion to the god of memory in hopes of finding his memories._

_Inside him, something stirred angrily at the sight of Syaoran, though._

* * *

Thank you to: **Raine793 **(And this time I'm one day ahead! No you would have to try hard to annoy me! );** Musette Fujiwara** (You are very observant; wait, are you Tomoyo? Yikes! Re the new Cardcaptor, you hit one of the key points re the new card master: he has to protect Syaoran and Sakura! And...what do you think  
Yelan would do for a son she fought the Elders for? :D); **Cheeseycraziness **(No, not Touya but you're somewhat warm LOL. They get even CLOSER here, and I hope someone notices just how much control Syaoran is using on himself! LOL); **Keetra **(I really do appreciate your reviews and what you notice in the story. I ought to dedicate a chapter to you as an apology for not being able to send you email yet you are still so wonderfully understanding about it! And re the new cardcaptor, you're warm! Wait till Chiharu and Yamazaki and Naoko show up!); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx **(You know I loved your new generation story but haven't gotten to posting a review. I have a weird question about it XD blush-thanks, I tried so hard to keep Syaoran-boy in character because it was so chilling writing cold, arrogant Syaoran at the beginning, knowing I was going to pair him up with sweet Sakura! The next person to remember does so much later; I can safely say that Chapter 7 is going to be very, very sweet for S&S ); **Hououza **(Amen. And yes, poor Syaoran is going to have to make up for a lot of what he did at the beginning. I wish I could answer you without giving the story away so what I'll say is, you're closer than you think!); **SakuraLover **(I am fine, thank you, just stealing time away from work to update! Well, you now know that Yukito has seen them, heh heh. You have to ask: what will happen when Touya and Yukito meet, somehow? ); **KamichamaKarinLover25 **(Please don't hate him! He has to work with Syaoran later in the story! XD); **X.Wolf **(Whoa, okay, thanks! XD Yes, they will appear but later; I've got the story planned out, and their appearance is a few chapters down yet); **Sakuramsm **(aw thanks! honestly an overactive imagination can be a curse sometimes LOL); **AngelEmCuti **(Do you really need to know who he is? PM me! But you must promise to keep quiet!); **sakuraakamichelle **(Yay! Thank you so much for that Technically he is Eriol's son but no. Yuki sees Syaoran first!); **saphirablossom **(Hey I just realized the first part of your pen name is the name of my favorite dragon! Aw, and thank you. Yes, Syaoran just needs the right trigger; everyone is waiting for a specific trigger for their memories to return--including the Cardcaptor, hint hint. Not Watanuki but oh so close! Hint again: the eyes, the eyes! XD); **rondallagurl **(here you go!); **mizu dreamsxx **(Haha no not Yamazaki...and I suspect you will want to wait for Chapter 7, heh heh); **Pipi-chan **(Heh heh, I suspect you're preoccupied with nachos LOL. Yes, my brain went for a walk as well and 189 should clue you in!); **iNuQTpIe **(Hurt as in emotionally. Please don't hate the new cardcaptor; he will play a role in keeping S&S together!); **C.Babe **(Oh my god you have no idea how oh so close you are! And here's the next chapter!); and **chibiNeko192 **(Thank you for seeing all the viewpoints, and for realizing how little S&S understand each other's feelings for now. How do you like this new preview? Hehe).


	8. Consummation

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 7**

Parma-violets, thank you so much, as always. And I agree; 189 of TRC made my head explode but I am not using that in my fic, and proceeding with my original plans.

Author's notes: 1) Again, I do not own CCS but the plot after the "failure" of the Last Judgment is mine.

2) **Please please please** hit the back button if you don't like adult situations. As always I use these to forward my plot and to develop characters; it's not just there gratuitously.

* * *

**Consummation**

_Touya Kinomoto was lonely. He'd lost his mother and his sister before he'd finished high school; for a period after Sakura had...died? Vanished?...he'd called 'Kaijuu!" up the stairs several times before he remembered that there was no one there to answer._

_But the worst thing was the hole in his heart, the gap in his memories. There was someone missing, someone his heart knew he valued above all else, but no matter how he tried to remember, nothing ever happened. _

_He buried himself in work and in taking care of his father Fujitaka. He had also begun to see his mother's ghost less and less, for some reason. It frustrated and angered him._

_He did, however, remember that he had hated one of Sakura's little friends, a brown-haired, brown-eyed boy whose name he could never remember because he always referred to him as "gaki". The boy had disappeared when Sakura had, and Touya was dying to know what role that boy had played._

_If Touya found out that the boy was responsible for Sakura's disappearance, he would never forgive that boy._

* * *

Syaoran carried Sakura back to the limousine, and the strange wind that had followed them abated when Syaoran angrily thought of what a nuisance it was. He wondered idly if he could control the wind, and to his surprise, the wind suddenly started up again, then died down. He never realized the significance of it until later.

During the drive away from Asakusa, Sakura woke up suddenly, and smiled up at her fiance.

"Syaoran? What happened?" she asked, rubbing her temples gingerly. "Oooh, my head feels weird."

_**She doesn't remember? **_Syaoran kissed her forehead gently. "You passed out when I asked you about your family," he said. He was very worried; too many things he couldn't explain were happening, and now there were physical manifestations in the girl he loved. He would have dismissed them as silly situations from a girl with a hyperactive imagination but he knew Sakura better than that.

And now he was beginning to wonder about the strange things that happened around them.

"I am so sorry!" She bowed her head. "I'm such a pain for you." Sakura couldn't remember why she had passed out but she was more worried about being a burden on Syaoran.

"No, sweetheart. Maybe...maybe you were hungry," Syaoran said, groping for excuses, eager to prevent triggering another fainting spell in Sakura. He ordered the driver to take them to Ginza, where there were many good restaurants for Sakura to choose from. On the way he pulled her into his lap and let her lie down for the ride as he smoothed her forehead and massaged her temples. Sakura closed her eyes and relaxed; Syaoran, on the other hand, was disturbed. Her family was alive, and she didn't know it; when she tried to remember things, she passed out; and there was that incident on the plane, the nightmare she couldn't remember. And he had the strangest feeling that he had the answer in his hands but couldn't see it—and that frustrated him.

_**What is happening to you, little blossom? **_he thought as he stroked her hair. Syaoran hated not knowing anything, and being helpless. _**There has to be a way to help you!**_

In his lap, Sakura napped lightly; she turned inwards to nestle against Syaoran's flat stomach, and was lulled by his comforting scent. She was in love, and she was happy...and she had completely forgotten what had happened earlier.

At the restaurant, she happily ordered her favorite food, and Syaoran smiled; it was nice to see her good humor restored. She wound up ordering too much, as he expected, but he patiently fed Sakura off his chopsticks and finished the excess food for her cheerfully. They spent the rest of the day exploring the shopping districts in Ginza, Akihabara, and Harajuku hand-in-hand; Syaoran was surprised to feel a strange memory tugging at him..._**of shopping with Mei Ling and Sakura and Sakura's friend...**_Syaoran shook his head. _**Impossible. Sakura is so much younger and we never met before, let alone in Japan!**_

Predictably, she ignored the high-end shops and went for shops selling manga and anime, cutesy stuff, and simple clothing and accessories. He found himself watching Sakura with a smile; even her silly antics amazed and delighted him. Syaoran could not feel any impatience with her as he had with all his exes; she was the only one who could delight him without even trying...which made her irresistible when she _**did **_try to make him happy. Watching her run around, laugh, even argue with him over who should pay for purchases...Syaoran was no longer surprised when his heart felt warm; Sakura was the only one who'd ever told him she loved him, and whom he _**believed**_.

He soon noticed that Sakura tended to pick up some things she liked, sigh at the price tags, then walk away, so he bought those items when her back was turned: knickknacks, some books, even a stuffed toy. He quickly passed them to his driver to hide in the trunk. Syaoran intended to give them to her later, to surprise her, and hear that delightful "Hoee?" that he now loved...just as he did everything about her.

Syaoran also called Cheng and Yap Partners back in Hong Kong while Sakura was busy in the fitting room of one store, and insisted on making an important change to the prenup contract with her—something the younger partner, Lio Yap, objected to strenuously. But Syaoran simply hung up on the attorney, and turned back to Sakura.

And when he realized that Sakura had disappeared at one point, he panicked; the sun was setting, and he feared she would be lost in the night. He was annoyed at himself for not having remembered to place her mobile on roaming—they were, after all, in a different country—and was frantically thinking of how to find her when she reappeared, running happily towards him.

"It's here! The Temple of Wishes is here! Come on, please, Syao-wolf, come with me!" She tugged him into the temple grounds, and breathlessly led him to a small shrine tucked in a corner of the garden.

"What's this, little blossom?" Syaoran put a protective arm over her shoulders.

Sakura turned shining eyes on him. "See the two gods? They're supposed to have been together since they were created. Engaged couples come here to pray for a lasting marriage," and she blushed.

"Then let's," Syaoran smiled happily, and took her hand. He would never have believed anyone who would have told him in the past that he would someday come to a shrine to pray for a happy marriage. Sakura had changed him so much, and he so wanted to make her happy, that for a while he believed that he was making a wish that someone would hear.

He caught himself thinking of how many children they would have, who the children would look like, what it would be like to come home to her. Syaoran smiled softly—he was smiling a lot these days, and anyone who knew him prior to his meeting Sakura would have been completely floored, because he even _**looked **_like a different person: his face seemed softer and younger, and he had lost his cold, arrogant aura. He wondered what Sakura would look like in a Western wedding gown, and in a traditional cherry blossom kimono. He also wondered whether she would prefer to live in Hong Kong or Japan; either way, he wanted to give it to her. And he toyed idly with the idea of leaving the Li Group so that he could take some other job and live a quiet life of love with Sakura.

Sakura was smiling as well, imagining what she would cook when they were married. She knew she wanted to have a son who looked like Syaoran, and a daughter who had his amazing eyes. She was also thinking of a lifetime of watching sunrises and sunsets together; while she knew they would probably argue sometime, she also knew that they loved each other very much. Already thinking of recipes to try when they moved home—she knew they would move in together now that they were engaged, and the thought thrilled her—she wondered if Syaoran had already thought of getting them a house. And again she prayed she would find a job so that she could hold up her end of their marriage.

Together they rang the small bell, and clasped their hands to pray for a happy marriage. Sakura turned to him when they were done, and tiptoed up to kiss his lips. Syaoran responded eagerly, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you. Please, never leave me," Sakura said softly as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "I've been alone for so long, Syaoran..." and her beautiful eyes glistened with unshed tears, "and you...I don't know what life will be like without you," she said honestly.

Touched to his core, Syaoran pulled her close. "Sakura...you..." and to his horror, he was blushing again. "I've never loved anyone before you. I...I love you so much." And there, he had admitted it to her—how much she really meant to him. On one hand, it had been hard for him to tell her...but now that he'd said it, it was so easy.

Her eyes were wide open. "Are you sure?"

"Y...yes."

"Me neither," she said happily as she snuggled into his embrace. "I will never leave you, Syaoran."

He inhaled her sweet scent as she was in his arms. "The only way I will ever give you up is if I am not the one to make you happy," he said softly as he bent down to kiss her. "I would never stand in the way of your happiness," he promised. Sakura gasped, smiled, and hugged him even harder.

Syaoran had no way of knowing that he would be held to his promise, and soon.

He felt vulnerable; he'd admitted the depth of his feelings to Sakura, and yet...he knew that if he couldn't be with her, he would rather be alone all his life. And so he kissed her passionately, his kiss being the prayer he sent up to the gods to give them the marriage he longed for.

They continued to kiss as a shower of pink petals fell over them, and continued to kiss as someone watched them from the shrine's rooftop.

"Ugh, they're kissing in public," Cerberus snorted.

The Cardcaptor, his dark brown hair being tousled by the wind, simply watched them, feeling a slight twinge in his heart. _**How those two loved each other! **_And...why did he feel as though he, as well, was waiting for someone to love in that way?

Then he noticed the shower of petals, despite there being only one old sakura tree in that area of the temple. It was Flower, the pleasant card he'd been searching for.

"Cerberus-san? We're in a public place and it's broad daylight. How do we catch Flower then?"

To the brown-eyed Cardcaptor's surprise, Cerberus laughed. "Never mind that for now. Flower isn't doing too much harm. And look at the shrine Sakura and Syaoran are in front of. How sappy!"

The young Cardcaptor strained to see, then smiled. The gods of marital love. While they hadn't had such temples in Yorkshire, where he'd grown up, he remembered his father Eriol and his mother Kaho being as loving as the two gods in the story. Thanks to their patient teaching, he could speak and write Japanese, Mandarin and Cantonese, English, and a smattering of French and Spanish. At night, before he had to leave for Japan when he became a candidate for Card Master, both his parents had tucked him in (even when he'd become a teen), and one or the other had always told him a story, and always, the story had taught him something about the cards or Clow Reed or the two former Card Master candidates.

He remembered seeing how his parents had kissed and hugged (and when he was older, he realized how passionately they made love), and how he himself had hoped he too would find someone whom he could love that way as well. Love was something he cherished, thanks to his adoptive parents, and he looked forward to finding it.

"You're thinking of your parents, aren't you?" Cerberus asked.

"I love them," the Cardcaptor said simply. "They're responsible for the best in me, Cerberus-san."

"I know they're proud of you," Cerberus said, and the boy smiled.

Yet when the young Cardcaptor looked at Syaoran, it was like looking at a father he'd never known. Could Syaoran be his real father? He'd asked Eriol about it, and Eriol had said, yes and no.

He couldn't understand it, not even when Eriol or Cerberus explained that odd thing about souls in different dimensions. Eriol had been insistent: "My son, you should understand that every soul is precious. Even those who are created, once they develop their own souls, their own hearts--they cannot be wantonly used and allowed to die once their purpose is served. There is a cruel term for people like that; it's "game". But without a heart, without a soul, a body simply becomes a place in which outrages can be committed. You must remember that. You'll understand once the cards are converted."

But the Cardcaptor knew he would be more than happy to interfere, to help save Syaoran once his love for Sakura was threatened. The boy believed in love, and in everyone's right to find their way to it. The Cardcaptor smiled at the thought of helping Syaoran, then frowned; he could sense a strange aura, so he looked in its direction. "Cerberus-san, isn't that...the false form of the Moon Guardian?" and he pointed.

Cerberus opened his eyes wide in horror. It was Yukito Tsukishiro, and he was walking in the direction of Sakura and Syaoran.

"Get Sakura and Syaoran out of there, _**now**_," Cerberus commanded the Cardcaptor, who thought quickly, then released Rain. It had the added effect of distracting Flower, and the Cardcaptor happily sealed the card, pleased that this capture had been so easy.

"Oh!" Sakura pulled away from Syaoran when she felt the rain. Syaoran opened his eyes, and quickly covered Sakura with his jacket, whisking her back to the limousine as fast as he could.

But he stopped outside the limousine. It was that aura again, and Syaoran was almost convinced he saw a young boy with brown hair and eyes who seemed like..._**was it even possible? A...younger me?**_

The vision quickly disappeared. _**I'm seeing things, **_thought Syaoran, and in response to Sakura calling for him to come in out of the rain, he climbed into the limousine.

Yukito caught a glimpse of them, though, and he wondered why they looked so familiar to him. He shrugged, then went for the incense burners; he'd come to pay devotion to the god of memory in hopes of finding his memories.

Inside him, something stirred angrily at the sight of Syaoran, though Yukito never sensed it. And that something wanted very badly to punish Syaoran one way or another for humiliating it during the Last Judgment.

When it thought of the cards that had once served under it, it realized that one card, carefully used, would be the best way to punish Syaoran for what he'd done sixteen years ago.

And that card was still loose, one of the last the new Cardcaptor had yet to find and seal.

* * *

Back at the hotel, Syaoran insisted that Sakura bathe then change into clean clothes so that she wouldn't get a cold. As she was in the bathroom, he paced in front of the bay windows. First snow, then an unseasonable rain, and twice, the two auras that felt so familiar to him—one almost like a brother or a son. Then that—vision?—of the boy who looked so like himself when he had been younger. He could no longer ignore the strange things happening around them, and he had a feeling it had something to do with Sakura's odd memory loss.

_**Why is this happening to her? And more importantly, how am I involved?**_

Before Syaoran could fret more about the strange events of the day, Sakura came out of the bath in a robe.

"You haven't changed yet," Syaoran said. "We're having dinner, sweet blossom."

"I will," she said. "But have you ever been to Tomoeda? My home town?"

"No," and Syaoran wondered if she knew he planned to take her there the next day. "Why?"

"Sometimes, I have these weird dreams. I kind of had one a while ago, and it had you in it," Sakura said slowly.

"What was it?" He was instantly alert; whatever she said could be significant. It was.

"I...I don't remember why but I think you were in my old school, Tomoeda Elementary. Do you have a sword with a red tassel?" Sakura asked.

Syaoran reeled. He'd never told her that! But how could she have known? "Yes I did," he said. "Tell me about your dream, sweetheart."

"I sort of saw you standing in front of me, talking to me, with the sword out. And you were wearing this green costume. I was there; I was holding this pink staff, and we were trying to capture something...but you seemed to be my age...maybe I knew you somehow?" Sakura asked "Maybe you were in the middle school or in Seijyo with my brother? I mean, you speak Japanese very well."

Come to think of it why do I know Japanese? Syaoran thought. Now he was quite worried; he and Sakura were having similar dreams, and she knew things about him he'd never told anyone save for his family.

Syaoran was beginning to think that he needed to talk to Mei Ling and his mother, and soon.

But to protect Sakura—he didn't want her passing out again—he said, "I don't think I went to school there...although..." _**Should I tell her that I have no memories of the fourth grade and the beginning of the fifth? No, ridiculous, and I don't want to get her hopes up. **_"...maybe it was someone who looked like me?"

Sakura rested her chin on her hands. "Yeah, maybe that was it," she said absently. Then she looked at Syaoran, a mischievous glint in her lovely green eyes. "Oh Syaoran-wolf?"

"Yes, little blossom?" Syaoran was wondering what the glint in her eyes was about when she pounced on him in the bed, and began to giggle. She rained kisses on his nose, cheeks, and lips, and then said, "Your turn in the bathroom."

"Mmm," Syaoran nuzzled her neck. "If this is how you tell me to bathe, Mrs Li, then I like it," he chuckled.

Sakura giggled. "Go on, my husband," she said, and Syaoran smiled, and caressed her cheek; he liked being called her husband very much. As Syaoran entered the bathroom, she locked herself into the large dressing room, quickly pulled a romance novel from her luggage, then skimmed quickly through the pages for ideas on pleasing Syaoran. Occasionally she would gasp, then smile as an interesting idea presented itself.

She didn't know about the women who had been in Syaoran's bed before her; she only knew he had a few exes. Sakura was happily focused on making Syaoran happy, not knowing that her mere presence was enough for him.

Syaoran called Tomoyo Daidouji when he was in the bathroom, and asked about the progress of the decorating.

"I've had the flooring put in and most of the appliances, but don't you want to approve the schemes first?" Tomoyo asked.

"I'll need it to be ready when my fiancee and I get back. I want to surprise her. Whatever it takes for the house to be ready, do it; I'll pay whatever you need. I'll introduce you to her when we get back, and you two can discuss the finishing touches, but I need at least our bathroom and bedroom to be ready."

Tomoyo could hear the giddiness in Syaoran's voice, and immediately knew he'd proposed and had been accepted. She smiled, resisting the urge to congratulate him, and instead said, "I'll have it ready, Mr Li, don't worry."

"I...ah...thank you, Ms Daidouji. I...I appreciate it."

When she hung up, Tomoyo smiled. Everyone had horror stories of how cold, how cruel Syaoran Li could be. Had they only met him, they would have known he was really a nice guy behind a rough exterior. Tomoyo smiled, and turned back to decorating the petal-pink room she was in, the room for Syaoran's fiancee. _**I hope she loves it!**_

When he'd bathed, he came out to find Sakura still locked in the dressing room. Worried, he knocked. "Sakura?" he called.

A gasp, a squeal, then, "Is it time already?"

"Almost," Syaoran said. "Er, I kind of need my clothes; they're in there with you, sweetheart...I mean, Mrs Li."

Sakura squealed. So much for the romance novels; here was her opportunity! She blushed a bit, but then remembered he'd promised she could have her way with him tonight...which was now. And so she stood up, fixed herself a bit, tugged on her robe to loosen the sash a bit, giggled, then prepared to glomp her fiance when she came out of the dressing room.

Syaoran wasn't expecting her to still be in her robe when she came out, much less for her to suddenly pounce on him again.

"Sakura? What..." and Syaoran had to shut up because she was kissing him and he was happily kissing her back.

"You promised," she said happily.

"I did, didn't I?" Syaoran smiled, knowing immediately what she was referring to. No voices in his head, and he was grateful. It was just him and Sakura then. He picked her up, and carried her to the bed.

"Are you sure, little blossom?" he asked as he slid them under the sheets.

"Very sure. I love you, Syaoran," she said, and smiled at him happily.

Syaoran smiled again; she was impossible to resist, and he wanted her so... "I love you too, Sakura." He kissed her gently, then whispered hoarsely, unable to stop himself, "I love you so much!"

"Not as much as I love you," she breathed back at him as she kissed him. Sakura opened the sash of Syaoran's robe then ran her hands over his chest, causing him to blush, and he saw her turning red as well. But she said softly, "I...want to know...why you make me feel...this way—so wonderful, so happy, so...everything, when I touch you. Why I want you. Why I love you so!"

"Same here," Syaoran said huskily. "I..." _**Dammit, stop blushing, Li! **_"You make me feel whole again," he blurted abruptly.

"I'm glad you're not lonely anymore," Sakura kissed him gently.

"I could never be lonely with you. I love you, Sakura. More than anyone and anything in my life."

Sakura smiled radiantly before she kissed Syaoran. Then her hands were on him again; she was running her hands over his shoulders, kissing his chest, and her fingers slid towards his manhood.

Syaoran moaned, and Sakura felt him roll on top of her. The man in Syaoran was begging him to take her; she was willing, after all. But a boy inside of him was highly embarrassed at his boldness. The man won out; Syaoran pushed his embarrassment away, and began to kiss Sakura deeply again as he slid her robe off her. She did not resist; instead, she whispered, "I've never done this before."

"I know, sweetheart," Syaoran said gently.

"Will you teach me?" Her wide green eyes made him want to drown in them.

He chuckled. "No. Not yet. Because I want you to enjoy your first time, sweet blossom, it's all about _**you **_enjoying it. Never mind me," and he kissed her neck and ran his hands up and down her body, finally giving in to the urge he'd repressed since he'd met her. Syaoran licked Sakura's neck gently, then her collarbone, then ran his tongue between her breasts. He deepened his kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth as he stroked her soft skin gently.

What he was doing was delicious, and Sakura wanted more; she closed her eyes and pulled him back onto her lips as she let her own hands wander. She was about to take hold of Syaoran's manhood again when he began to plant love bites on her shoulders, thrilling her. Sakura was softly murmuring, her eyes closed. Syaoran pulled her robe off and looked at her body; now, she was completely naked...and absolutely beautiful.

In the coolness of the room, her nipples hardened, and Syaoran squeezed her breasts together and flicked his tongue over the nipples quickly. He was getting very hard, but he wanted to make sure she enjoyed herself completely. Every now and then he would stop ministering to her nipples and bite her on the neck again, or on the shoulders. Her legs had spread open, and he positioned himself between her thighs, letting her feel his arousal.

"I love you," Syaoran whispered as he kissed her. "God, I love you Sakura!" And he felt freer each time he told her the truth of his love...and when she responded, opening her eyes and saying, "I love you so much, Syaoran," he groaned, feeling he would burst from all he felt for her. No one, ever, had made him feel so loved, so right, and he continued to lavish kisses on her breasts, on her face, neck, shoulders, even her stomach, delighting in her sounds of pleasure. Making her happy was so important to him. _**It's because she's the one, **_a small voice inside Syaoran said, and he agreed. Night fell in the bay windows, and deepened; the two lovers inside never noticed the passing of time as they savored each other for the first time.

Then in a fit of masculine pride, Syaoran knelt above Sakura. Without taking his eyes off Sakura, he stripped off his robe; now, he was naked in front of her, and he watched her reaction to him.

Sakura gasped; he was even more beautiful than she thought he would be, and the look in his eyes...He bent down to trail kisses down to her stomach, then positioned himself between her thighs, smiling gently at her before he dove into her womanhood.

Her tiny bud was hidden somewhere in the folds of her roselike labia, and he swept his tongue up and down to coax the little bud into emerging. Sakura was whimpering "Syaoran!" almost breathlessly, running her hands through his messy chocolate hair and raising her hips to meet his lips. He thrust his tongue into her wet passage, and she screamed, "Syaoran!" In and out he slid his tongue, tasting the sweetness of her on his lips. Her pleasure was his pleasure, and he was proud of knowing that he had been her first everything.

Little did he—or she—know that he was not her first love.

She shuddered into a glorious orgasm with him, and then, to his surprise, another one. Syaoran kept tonguing Sakura lightly, waiting to see how many she would have. He was delighted to see that she stayed arched for nearly half a minute, her hips bucking with each successive orgasm, as she screamed his name in one long, drawn out moan. Her dew ran between her thighs copiously, her nipples stood out ramrod straight, and a flush had spread over her cheeks. And Syaoran, watching her, moaned himself; she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life, and he wanted nothing more in his life but her.

He would never realize that he was giving everything she wanted for her pleasure in bed. Syaoran, once he'd discovered that a woman he was with was not the one, became incredibly selfish in bed, taking his pleasure without giving any. But with Sakura...each moan, each sigh, her little movements...he wanted to hear and see more. Syaoran smiled, thinking of the possibilities. Sakura had shown an unexpected sensuality in bed, and he knew he was going to enjoy initiating her into the mysteries of lovemaking. He moved up to kiss her, finally positioning himself between her thighs, his manhood teasing her folds gently.

"Sakura?" He kissed her, and her eyes flew open.

"Syaoran, my husband." She took his cheeks between her hands and looked into his eyes. He knew it was a yes, and he gently tilted her hips upward to meet his.

"Sweet blossom," he said hoarsely as he looked into her lovely green eyes, his own eyes dark with passion. "I'm going to enter you. It may hurt, because you're small. But I've tried to make you ready for it." He paused as he slid the condom onto himself; he did not want to accidentally impregnate his beloved, not until she was ready.

"Yes, Syaoran," she breathed softly. "Kiss me, please" she asked.

"Oh, Sakura," and as his lips met hers, he eased himself into her passage gently, sliding into her an inch. She was so wet, he slid in easily. But this was the easy part. When he'd gotten two inches into her, she gasped, and clung to his shoulders, digging her nails in a bit. Syaoran resumed kissing her to console her, and he reached down to stroke her little bud gently. He was rewarded with additional moisture, and she moaned his name again, softly. He was willing to take his time as he'd wanted so much to make love to her...and, he realized, Sakura was the one he'd waited the longest to make love to, and so, he slid another inch in gently. Another inch, and he felt her maidenhead; he kissed Sakura tenderly, over and over.

Sakura cried out, and opened her eyes, and Syaoran was looking down at her with an expression of such love, she wondered how he could have hidden it from her for so long. And that moment, she knew, and she gasped but smiled.

"Hurts, sweet blossom?" he asked softly.

A tear slid out of one of her eyes, and Syaoran kissed it away. "Don't worry. It will be better. I promise. I love you," and he slid the rest of himself in her slowly, continuing to kiss her gently. Something broke, and he felt warmer moisture which he knew was her blood flow over him. He bent down and kissed her gently, his tongue caressing her lips and the inside of her mouth tenderly, tasting her, savoring her until he was buried inside her, all the way. He could feel Sakura gasping in pain, and he continued to reassure her with gentle kisses and his whispered declarations of his love for her until he felt her hands on his cheeks. He looked into her green eyes, and she could see how dark his own bronze ones had gone.

Syaoran stopped, and let himself rest inside her, savoring the feel of Sakura on him, letting her recover before he started moving into her. Every nerve was screaming for release, and he fought to control himself. She was so sweet, so delicious...he closed his eyes, and kissed her again and again, murmuring his love for her into her ears, delighting when she responded with the same promises of love for him. He'd never felt this way before when making love—it felt like they really were making love out of the whole act.

Lightly, he continued teasing her little bud with one finger, then slowly began to move in and out of her. It was so good, their intimate joining, him and the woman he knew he would love the rest of his life. At first she gasped in pain, but as he slowly increased the pace and pressure of his thrusts in her, she began to call his name again, crossing the line from pain to pleasure. Sakura was moaning Syaoran's name over and over, and he responded with gasps of "Sakura!" His eyes were locked on hers, and she felt a delicious drowning that she never wanted to stop.

Sakura closed her eyes and gave in to the sensation of Syaoran inside her, bucking her hips to meet his, surrendering herself completely to him because the deeper she surrendered, the sweeter she felt, the more wildly arousing it was. She loved him so much that she gave in to her emotions as well. He closed his eyes and thrust himself into her over and over, cooing her name, kissing her, seemingly unable to get enough of her. Their bodies, despite the intimate joining, could not touch enough; she wrapped her legs around his hips, and pulled him closer, pressing her breasts to his chest.

In and out Syaoran moved, sensitive to Sakura's gasps, her little signals of wanting more, and he gave her everything she wanted. She was reaching heights of pleasure with him, and he watched her face as she squeezed her eyes and gasped. He didn't feel her nails rake over his back, leaving red welts. Over and over their lips met; again and again they called out each other's names.

Syaoran opened his eyes, and thought he had never seen anything as beautiful when Sakura arched into him, her thighs locking onto his hips, and went into her first orgasm with him inside of her. He hadn't expected her to enjoy herself so much; he knew that first times normally were painful and messy, but Syaoran didn't realize that he had taken so much time making Sakura ready that she was primed for love. He could feel her around his manhood, and gasped with pleasure as she enjoyed a multiple orgasm, her muscles tightening around him, the intimate caress driving him nearly insane as he sped up his thrusts into her.

He found himself finally coming as she entered her second multiple orgasm with him. She tightened around him even further, and moaned his name over and over. He felt himself contract, and together, they entered their own little heaven; she arched into the sweet waves of pleasure, and he screamed, "Sakura!" as he pulled out and shuddered in his pleasure peak.

They stayed that way for some time, Syaoran enjoying simply being joined with Sakura. Sakura opened her eyes, brilliant with some tears, and smiled at him. Syaoran stroked her hair. "I've just made love to the woman I will love my whole life."

"Do you mean it?" Sakura's eyes widened.

"Sakura, I...I can't lie to you," Syaoran blushed. "I love you." He caressed her cheeks gently, overwhelmed by his emotions.

Sakura winced when she moved, and Syaoran kissed her. "Sweet blossom, you're going to need the bathroom." She sat up, then cried out; inside her, where Syaoran had been, she was sore. So Syaoran picked her up gently and set her on her feet in the bathroom. "I'll follow. You get cleaned up, and if it still hurts, let's see what we can do, okay?" He kissed her forehead, turned on the shower, then went back to their bedroom.

Syaoran decided he would replace the sheets before joining her in the bathroom. He flinched as he saw the blood on himself and on the sheets; he must have hurt her. Then, in the mirror, he saw the scratches on his back. _**Interesting, **_he smiled. _**What will happen when she becomes more aggressive in bed? **_

In the meantime, he prepared a cold compress from a small towel and some ice from the suite's fridge, knowing she would be sore for a while. But he would have a lifetime to heal her, and to make it even more pleasurable than before.

After they bathed, Syaoran carried Sakura back to the bed, and pulled her into a spooning embrace, murmuring his love for her over and over, and playfully addressing her as "Mrs Li". She happily responded with kisses and hugs, and playful declarations that no, she loved him more, "my sweet husband," and Syaoran felt himself go hard again before he could control himself. He forced it down, and stroked Sakura's back until she fell asleep.

As he drifted off to sleep, Syaoran began to dream.

But now the dream was even more vivid.

_He was at a shrine near Tokyo Tower, and a younger Sakura was fighting to become the Mistress of the Clow Cards. As he watched the scene, his anger and frustration mounting, memories began to flood Syaoran's mind._

_And he heard, for the first time, the words of a raven-haired boy with midnight-blue eyes. "What a mess. I had no idea you loved her that much. You weren't supposed to, you know? You weren't even supposed to be in the picture...Technically, Sakura won...but because of you, well...I am so sorry, Syaoran, but there is a price to be paid for your interference, even if you did do it because you loved her." _

_And Syaoran saw a strange staff waving in the air as the other boy said, "Now they must be separated by space and time until they can somehow find their way to each other again."_

"_As for you...Go on living in the real world. Forget, because if you remember...then you will know the meaning of pain."_

And Syaoran woke up, breathing hard and murmuring Sakura's name. He could only recall flashes, but now he was beginning to wonder: how much of his missing memories had to do with Sakura? How were they connected? Because the dreams and memories had only been triggered when she had appeared in his life. He suspected something had gone horribly wrong somewhere, and he was determined now to recall his past...for her sake.

"I will protect you, little blossom," he whispered as he drew her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "Even with my life."

* * *

**Preview of Chapter 8**

_Syaoran gently tied the velvet blindfold around Sakura's eyes, and she giggled._

"Why are you being so secretive?" she asked as she snuggled up to him in the limousine.

"You'll see," he chuckled, and he pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He felt free, happy, and loved; he was looking forward to how she would react to their new home, and the presents which he'd planted in the entryway for her. And he wanted Sakura to meet the interior designer Daidouji; he felt they would get along.

Once they arrived at Causeway Bay, he bent down to kiss her tenderly, slipping his tongue between her lips.

"I love you," Syaoran said gently.

"I love you too!" Sakura responded. She was on a delicious high; she was marrying the man she loved, they had made sweet love everyday since the first time, and now he was surprising her. I am so lucky! she thought.

Syaoran carried her into the condo building's foyer, raising a few eyebrows, which he ignored. He kissed her as he entered the elevator, and then set her on her feet outside their penthouse.

"Ready, sweet blossom?" he asked.

"I just want to get the blindfold off," she replied cheerfully. "Mou, Syaoran?"

Syaoran laughed, and keyed the door open. He was satisfied when he saw what Daidouji had done to the place, and in so little time; he could imagine coming home to Sakura in the house. With a flourish, he pulled her blindfold off, and she blinked in the sudden light.

"Where are we?" she asked.

Syaoran stepped towards her and gently tilted her chin upwards. "Home," he said simply as he kissed her. Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, and they nuzzled noses and giggled.

"Home? Our home?" Sakura asked as Syaoran placed his arms around her waist and gently mock-waltzed her around the room.

"It is. We just have to go through the engagement ceremony next week. I think my mother will love you, sweetheart."

"I hope so," she smiled.

"She pretty much has no choice," Syaoran chuckled. Had Mei Ling and Yelan seen him so playful and happy at that moment, they would never have recognized him. The cold, arrogant, cruel Syaoran was completely gone, replaced by a reserved but happy, sweet Syaoran who complemented Sakura perfectly.

A soft sound of a cleared throat made them turn towards the door. Tomoyo Daidouji stood there, smiling at them.

"Ah, Ms Daidouji," Syaoran took Sakura's hand and they walked over to Tomoyo. "This is our interior decorator, Ms Tomoyo Daidouji."

Tomoyo was surprised to see that Sakura looked like her deceased aunt Nadeshiko, and her jaw dropped open before she could control herself.

"Er," Sakura smiled at her. "Daidouji-san?"

"Oh...sorry," Tomoyo apologized. "You look so like my aunt, Nadeshiko Kinomoto."

"Ki...Kinomoto?" Sakura's grip on Syaoran's hand tightened. "My mother's name was Nadeshiko Kinomoto."  


* * *

Thank you to: **SakuraLover** (Oh dear, I didn't mean to keep you awake! And don't worry, I have a good explanation for the Cardcaptor that doesn't involve the latest events in Tsubasa. Yes, you hit on it, Kero is subdued, and Tomoyo's on her own. She doesn't need a partner to be awesome, ne? :D); **Musette Fujiwara** (Aw, don't worry about it, and thank you XD Re Yukito, you guessed it already! You're good!); iNuQTpIe (You know me too well, don't you? XD Don't worry, nothing bad is in the next chapter; Tomoyo's there!); **Cheeseycraziness** (Yeah he did. His control is awesome ne? And he only did it when **she** wanted it. Such a sweet man! :) And I think you know what comes after fluff, heh heh); **saphirablossom** (Correct re Syaoran getting hurt--pats poor Syaoran--because he loves her so. Not R!Syaoran but I think you know who now XD); **lhaine07** (He already has her--and she's what he wants. But this story isn't over yet!); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx** (YES! Very correct, and thanks for the PM!); **C.Babe** (How's this chapter for S&S moments? Hehe. No, they don't meet yet...Tomoyo goes first!); **whitewave16** (He won't be revealed yet, though I can tell you he is 16--born the day S&S "failed", and their memories will come back with the right triggers. And isn't it so much fun to torture poor Syaoran? XD); **rondallagurl** (Whoa, thanks, you make me blush! But you should also see parma-violets' stories, they rock! I wish I could update faster but my work gets in the way, so I use long chapters instead :D); **meow-mix23, Pipi-chan** (The other one, LOL! I luff you too!); **Hououza** (I suspect you know so much more about what I'm doing here, yes? XD Because you saw right through the fluff to what I'm building up to. I have a few more players to throw in though. Thanks again!); **Raine793** (No worries, I can't access much from the office anyway where I practically live these days--cries. Luff ya too!); **sakuraakamichelle** (Yukito won't hurt Syaoran, he's too sweet for that, but as for Yue...remember Yue has a grudge!); **AngelEmCuti** (DOn't worry, there is a happy chapter up ahead XD); **siarafaerie** (here you go!); **Mystic Moon Empress** (And they get cuter next chapter!); **KamichamaKarinLover25** (Yay! And there will be a few funny scenes next chapter!); **AiEdogawaIsaBellaCullen** (Er, relax and read the rest of the story? Plus, in both the manga and the anime, Eriol clearly states he could not foresee everything); and **chibiNeko** **192** (aw thank you! It will be some time before this is finished but the plot is charted out already and you should thank parma-violets for making sure I write it all out!).


	9. Sweet Interludes

**What He Wants: Chapter 8  
**

**Author's notes:** **Parma-chan** is responsible for urging me to turn "What He Wants from a pile of silliness into a real story, so if you like this fic you should love her!

And I add another thanks here to **Cheeseycraziness **for helping work parts of this out as well!

You really have to check out parma-violets' Void (and other stories) and Cheeseycraziness' oneshots and the lovely, angsty "In the Broken Lies" featuring Eriol and Tomoyo.

And I dedicate this chapter to **Keetra **for never flaming me XD

Yet again I must ask you to hit the back button...PLEASE...if you don't like adult situations. But if you like **naughtiness**, then keep going! _Since I don't want this story banned, I will now toss out the lemons as the purpose has been served...unless you guys want **lemonade**! XD Thanks!_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Sweet Interludes**

"_Mother?"  
_

_Kaho Mizuki-Hiiragizawa smiled; it was her son on the other end of the line. It had been a week since she had spoken to him, and she missed the boy almost as much as she did her husband Eriol. "Yes, sweetheart. What was bothering you?"_

_The teenaged Cardcaptor didn't even pause to think of how she had known why he had called, because he was so used to it. "There are prices to pay when you interfere, right?"_

"_Yes. But, my son, I suppose you mention this because you've already decided to pay the price."_

"_I know Li-san is not my father, but is he my brother...or maybe...could I have been somehow created from him? Or am I him from another dimension?"_

_Kaho sighed. "That's hard to answer. But the closest I can tell you without damaging the balance is that you might say you're the same in so many ways." Keeping secrets from the boy hurt her, because she wanted him to know what he would be facing, and soon, but then, for the sake of his sanity, he did not have to know certain things until he was ready._

_The Cardcaptor was beginning to put the pieces together...and he was also beginning to understand who and what he was. "Mother," the young Cardcaptor asked, "why do I feel that I want to help him and Kinomoto-san? It's irrational but I feel as though something important to me depends on it."_

"_We have free will for a reason," Kaho replied. "And what you choose to do with it is your way of controlling, defying, or falling into what destiny dictates for you."_

"_That Li-san fell in love with Kinomoto-san even back when they were capturing the cards...Father never saw that, did he? I talked to him before I called you...and I told him that I think fate is mutable, Mother, based on what I have studied. He just laughed a bit...you know how Father gets, Mother. It's like he wants me to figure it out for myself."_

_Kaho smiled; he'd always been an intelligent boy with strong opinions of his own. "If that's what you believe, then follow your heart, son. But remember...to earn the right to your name is your priority for now. What else you choose to prioritize is your business."_

"_Thank you."_

"_That's what mothers are for. Now don't forget to eat well, and keep Cerberus out of the refrigerator in your apartment."_

_The Cardcaptor laughed. "I will, Mother. As for Cerberus-san, well..." and he chuckled. "Cerberus-san becomes a child when food is involved but I will try. Thank you, Mother; I love you, and Father as well. Good night." He hung up with a renewed resolve to capture the last two cards—he'd gotten three more in the meantime—and to earn his name and memories again. Dream and Return...two of the most difficult cards to find and seal. But he was determined to catch them soon._

_Because he was also afraid of a dream he'd had of a mismatched pair of eyes: one amber, and one blue—which he knew held nothing but menace for him._

_He'd decided not to mention it to his mother because he knew that the more people who knew about that monster, the more people would be hurt._

_He did not know that the monster had already scarred the girl he was meant to love, in so many ways._

* * *

Syaoran woke up halfway through the night, and found Sakura snuggled against his chest. He raised the sheets over them, and cradled her in his arms. Her neck and shoulders were covered with love bites from him, and he winced; he'd been a _bit _enthusiastic the night before. But when he went to the toilet, he realized he had quite a few of his own, and she'd left red welts on his back where she had scratched him in her ecstasy. He smiled, and attended to his business there.

He loved her so; Syaoran knew he would never love anyone as much as he did Sakura, and he wondered if the time had come to tell her the truth about what he had done. He didn't want to live a lie with Sakura, and he so wanted to make it up to her. He was horribly ashamed of himself; _**how could I have done that to the woman I love? **_But...he trusted her love for him, and he took a deep breath. _**In the morning, **_he thought, _**I will tell her the truth, and ask her forgiveness. But if I'm wrong... **_Forgiveness had so long been an alien concept to Syaoran; he neither forgot nor forgave, but now...he understood, and accepted, that he would be at Sakura's mercy once he told her the truth_**.**_

There was more. Syaoran now understood that he and Sakura were somehow connected, that the answer lay in the memories he was missing from his grade school years. He intended to find out more about Sakura's past, and to figure out how to help her from there.

There were flashes of memory that Syaoran desperately chased down in his head, trying hard to recall them so that he could mine them for information. He was beginning to suspect that the small girl he kept seeing in them was Sakura, and that there was an explanation for why she was so much younger than him. _**But what? **_he wondered.

He padded back into the suite's bedroom and slid back beside Sakura in bed; her soft skin against his thrilled him no end. Syaoran took her in his arms again, and she murmured in her sleep. He inhaled her sweet scent, and knew that no one would ever inspire such tenderness in him ever again. Was she the girl in his fragmented memories? How were they connected?

In his arms, she turned over, and sighed his name, sealing his resolve to tell her the truth...and to uncover the mystery behind their missing memories. He decided he would start by finding out if Touya and Fujitaka Kinomoto were, indeed, Sakura's family before he brought her to meet them; no sense in risking traumatizing his beloved. He intended to leave her at the hotel, or send her shopping as he traveled to Tomoeda to check the family out. With that, Syaoran fell asleep again with his arms around her, and this time, when he dreamed of her, he was happy.

_They were at the Li Manor in Hong Kong. Sakura was in a pretty pink cheongsam; despite his fear of facing his mother, Syaoran could not help but notice how beautiful she was. He'd fought his feelings for her, but when a gray-haired boy...Yukito, that was the name, and Syaoran realized he admired the older boy as well...bought Sakura a pretty sakura-shaped hair clip, he'd reddened in annoyance...although he couldn't tell whether he was annoyed because Yukito had given her a gift, or because she was so happy to get it from him._

_His mother had assessed Sakura calmly, then smiled. Syaoran's breath caught; his mother __**never **__smiled, let alone at someone she had just met. Yelan had demanded Syaoran's report card; luckily he'd made top marks in everything, as usual, but then she'd said something unusual to him._

"Stop fighting your feelings, son. You know who she is...and will be...in your life."

_He hadn't understood it then, but he did now._

The next morning, when they woke up to find their limbs entwined, they made love again, slowly and tenderly, savoring each other, kissing gently over and over. Syaoran had never experienced a relationship like the one he had with Sakura, one in which he was completely vulnerable. Now their language had been changed: each kiss, each caress was a declaration of love only they understood, and Sakura could see Syaoran's love for her shining in his eyes.

Sakura was somewhat surprised to notice that the pain of their first lovemaking had disappeared quickly. Even the love bites Syaoran had planted on her, and her bruises from the previous night, were fading. But she was too caught up in her emotions to realize the significance of what had just happened...just as Syaoran had not realized how the wind the previous day was responding to his thoughts.

Syaoran was delighted to learn that Sakura had gotten quite a few ideas out of some romance novels; she'd become playful, and he found himself giggling with her as they made love. She surprised him when she suddenly took his manhood into her mouth, and he almost screamed with pleasure. Somehow they never tired of telling the other of the love each had; Syaoran had never said the phrase before, and here he was saying it over and over to Sakura...and he had no regrets.

Finally, when Sakura's stomach gave a small growl of hunger, they pried themselves away from each other and somehow got bathed and dressed in between kisses and hugs and a quick, playful round of lovemaking in the large bathroom. After breakfast, Syaoran kissed her tenderly, and said, "I have to go out for a while after lunch but I'll be back immediately, little blossom. Will you be all right?"

"Yeah. I want to sleep a bit more," she said cheerfully. "And I found a bookstore around the corner."

"I'll take you there first, Mrs Li," he smiled. Their food was delivered, and Syaoran almost laughed when he saw that she'd ordered her favorite tuna sashimi, cold soba noodles, ebi tempura, chicken yakiniku, and chawan mushi yet again.

"Aren't you tired of that?" he asked as she eagerly sat down at the table.

"Nope," she smiled at him. "Give me a break; I didn't get to eat this in Hong Kong, you know?"

"All right," and he laughed as he dropped a kiss on her forehead right before sitting across her and uncovering his Wagyu beef. As usual, he fed her off his chopsticks, and Sakura could feel her heart swelling with love for Syaoran.

"Sakura?" he suddenly said as they ended the meal. "Do you...do you think I went...too fast with you?"

"Does it matter?" Sakura smiled. "You're not having second thoughts about marrying me, are you?"

"No! Never," Syaoran said. "I just...we have something...no, I have something I want to talk to you about." Syaoran looked away, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

Sakura waited patiently; she knew Syaoran would tell her when he was ready. After some throat-clearing and false starts on his part, he finally gathered his courage.

"Sakura, I...I haven't been entirely truthful to you," Syaoran began. "I...I can't start our marriage with lies so...I hope you can forgive me. I sometimes think I...pushed you into this relationship."

She realized how uncomfortable he was, and raised a palm to gently touch his cheek. Gratefully, he took her hand in his and kissed it.

"You...I...I was looking for a wife when I met you...so that I could gain control of the Li Finance Group. My mother said she would sign away the company if I remained single."

Sakura gasped. "You're part of the Li Group?"

"Sweetheart," Syaoran paused carefully, "I...I'm the CEO. I'm the next head of our Clan." He felt somewhat ashamed of himself when Sakura gaped at him. "Remember when you asked why I was so rich?"

"Er...uh...sorry," Sakura squeaked. "I didn't know. I should have..." and she blushed. With all the internet browsers in the world, why hadn't she even thought of finding out who her fiance was? How come she had never heard of him before? Why had she never recognized him?

The significance of this escaped her until much later.

"No! No. I hid it from you because..." Syaoran took a deep breath and plunged on quickly, "I didn't know you yet, so I thought you might become greedy, or you might pull away from me if you knew the truth...and I wanted...no, I _**needed **_you so badly I couldn't...I just couldn't...Sakura, I am so sorry."

A pause, then Sakura, much to Syaoran's surprise, embraced him. "Silly wolf," she chuckled.

"A...aren't you...mad at me?"

"You wanted me that badly?" she teased him lightly.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"Syaoran, I really do love you. I sort of knew you were hiding something from me...but because you always looked at me...you have this way of looking at me...I trusted you. I still do," and she raised herself to kiss his lips. "I know you have your reasons for what you do, and hey...you always understand me, so it was the least I could do for you."

"I'm so lucky," Syaoran murmured against her lips when they pulled apart. "Sakura I am so sorry."

"That you say I'm sorry is a big thing," Sakura said gently. "I know you're a prideful guy."

"That obvious?" Syaoran chuckled a bit.

"Mmm, well...you've never been that way with me but...I know you scared off the other guys who were being friendly with me before," Sakura grinned as she looked up at him. Syaoran squeezed her hand, neither confirming nor denying what she'd said, and so she knew there was more.

"I _**never **_wanted to hurt you. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to win you that..." and Syaoran bowed his head, "I was the one who kept you from being hired. And I...I knew about your loan at our bank...and I was planning to call it in."

To Syaoran's surprise she didn't reel back in horror or recoil from him; instead, Sakura nodded slowly. "Why?" To Syaoran's horror she began to tear up, but she threw herself into his arms instead. "Why? But Syaoran...I really liked you, even then. I..._**why**_?"

He brushed her tears away. "I am so very sorry, sweetheart. I don't know how to make it up to you. I wanted to drive you into my arms. I wanted to be the one to save you; if I saved you I thought you would be grateful enough to marry me. I'm not proud of what I've done."

"Why didn't you just court me?" Sakura asked, puzzled. "You knew I liked you. Couldn't you just have...you know, waited?"

Syaoran sighed. "I don't know." Which was when he realized the cold part of him was completely and utterly silent, and had been that way for a long time now...and he was grateful. "I...when I saw you...I can't explain it but Sakura, if I couldn't have you..." He felt a twinge in his heart when she turned away.

She thought for a while. What Syaoran had done was rather manipulative; in fact she had to admit she was the tiniest bit afraid of him now. But he'd admitted it to her; told her the truth...and he was looking at her cautiously, like a dog awaiting a kick. Her heart melted; she loved him, and wasn't love also about accepting certain things about people?

"What you did..." she began quietly and tentatively, "wasn't very nice. I mean, what if you suddenly decided to get rid of me? I would have been...what woud have happened to me?"

Syaoran reached out a hand to touch her cheek, then drew it back. "I know I had...have no right to do that to you."

Sakura kept her back turned to him; each second she did not look at him ticked away like tiny knife thrusts in Syaoran's heart. Finally, she turned back to him. "But there is something you should be proud of, Syaoran. You told me the truth," and she caressed his cheek. "It means so much to me."

"I thought you might break off our engagement if you knew. But...I can't start our marriage with secrets. I promised never to stand in the way of your happiness," Syaoran said softly, his arms tightening around her waist. "And I mean to keep that promise, sweet blossom. That's why I told you. I don't want to put you through the misery of finding out what I did later on. I want you to be happy, and...if I kept that from you then I'd be causing you misery." Syaoran kept his head bent down, ashamed to look her in the eye.

"But don't you know?" Sakura's eyes widened. "_**You **_are my happiness. You took me away from being all alone. When you first came into my life...I was so scared I'd lose you, because...I know you've had girlfriends before, and I was worried I...that I wouldn't be enough for you. I love you so much, and you're so special...Syaoran...I...I don't want to lose you!"

"What?" Amber eyes flew wide open as well. "Impossible. You're the only one who's ever made me feel the way you do. Why would I ever leave you?" He folded her into his arms gently, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. A pause, in which they simply embraced and pressed their foreheads together. Then Syaoran spoke first.

"I love you, Sakura. And I am _**really **_sorry for all I did because I wanted you. It was selfish and stupid of me. It's not an excuse, my telling you all this; rather...if we're spending the rest of our lives together, I want no secrets between us of this kind."

Had anyone who knew him as the cold, cruel arrogant man he'd been counted how many times he'd apologized in the space of his talk with Sakura, they wouldn't have believed it; he was practically begging her to forgive him.

Sakura smiled gently. "I love you, Syaoran. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, because...well, okay I don't really know but you know what I mean. And thank you for telling me and apologizing. I know it takes a lot out of you to do so. Thank you for letting your pride down and saying sorry...your pride must be an awfully hard thing to let go of."

"Not where you're concerned, Sakura," and Syaoran rubbed his nose against hers. "Where you're concerned I have no pride." His brown eyes caught her green ones, and he closed his eyes as he kissed her gently.

"Am I forgiven?"

Sakura pretended to think it over; Syaoran looked so sad that she had to repress a laugh. Then she said playfully, "Only if you buy me zaru soba for lunch. It's almost one o'clock," she giggled.

Syaoran laughed. "You know what? I don't think I'll ever run out of reasons to fall in love with you. You...you have no idea how wonderful you are," he smiled.

"Good, because..." and Sakura grinned.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." And Sakura sauntered towards the main area of the suite.

"Where are you going?" Syaoran felt a tiny frisson of panic go through him; _**was she going to leave him?**_

He heard her rummaging in the refrigerator. _**Ah, she went to get a drink.**_ She came back seemingly empty-handed...but she was grinning widely. Syaoran raised an eyebrow, and Sakura suddenly tiptoed up and kissed him, her tongue demanding entrance to his mouth, which he gladly gave her. God in such a short span of time she had learned how to drown him in her kiss, and he was falling and it was so sweet, he could feel the heat of her body...

...and then he felt something cold slide down his back.

"What...Sakura!" She was giggling madly; she'd had an ice cube in hand and had slid it down the back of his shirt while he was off guard. It was melting its way down his back, and soaking his shirt. Syaoran ripped his shirt off to escape the sensation, and yelped when she dropped another one down the back of his jeans.

"Oh, you are going to be punished for that," he growled after he'd taken his jeans off. His sodden shirt and jeans lay in a heap on the carpeted floor, and he was down to his briefs.

"Was hoping you would," Sakura said throatily as she came towards him. She ran her hands down over his chest, playfully tugged on his hardness, then when his lips crashed down on hers, she ran her hands across his back.

Without her or Syaoran noticing it, the welts on his back dried up, and faded away when her hands passed over them.

She pulled him back towards the bed, grinning.

"You're asking for it," Syaoran threatened weakly.

"Not like you aren't...up to it," Sakura giggled as her double entendre statement hit home, and Syaoran blushed.

Then he left the bedroom, with Sakura lying on the bed, a confused "Hoee?" on her lips. Syaoran soon came back with the entire ice tray.

"Syaoran?" she asked curiously, as he began to take her dress off.

"You're not the only one who can play, you know," he smirked as he pushed her brassiere aside.

"Syaoran...but what about lunch..."

He grinned at her. "Right now, _**you're **_my lunch," and when Sakura felt where the first ice cube went, circling her breast—which was still heavy and tender from their lovemaking—she gasped in pleasure, then screamed in ecstasy when he replaced the ice cube with his warm mouth. "All your fault, little blossom," he teased. "I have to punish my naughty little wife," were the last words out of Syaoran's mouth before he and Sakura became completely incoherent.

Needless to say, Syaoran completely forgot about going to Tomoeda that day.

* * *

Somehow Syaoran and Sakura managed to get some shopping done, and to eat fairly regular meals, delivered to their suite. Syaoran was grateful that his confession to Sakura had made her trust him even more, and he loved her all the more for it. Mysteries, family, research...all were forgotten as they made love several times a day, unable to get enough of each other.

Syaoran was highly embarrassed when the matronly in-hotel convenience store clerk, unable to resist after he entered the store for the third time to buy condoms, asked, "On your honeymoon, sir? Maybe you'd like to try the economy-size box? To save you a few trips here?"

Had he been the cold, arrogant person he'd once been, Syaoran would have had the clerk fired in a heartbeat, and he would have had a cruel retort prepared for her. Instead, he grinned and said, "My wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever met." When Sakura came in behind him to pay for some cold soba, he put his arm possessively over her shoulders, and smiled. The clerk's smile widened.

"She's absolutely beautiful, sir. You two look wonderful together. And I bet your children will look adorable."

Syaoran chuckled when he heard a soft "hoee?" from Sakura, and snuggled her closer.

"Not yet," Syaoran said cheekily. _**Mei Ling would pass out if she saw me now, **_Syaoran thought. "We intend to savor each other for as long as we can," and he grabbed Sakura around the waist and dropped a kiss on her lips. The clerk applauded, and sighed, "Young love!"

Sakura smiled. It never occurred to her to be embarrassed because she loved and trusted Syaoran; she happily accepted his kisses and hugs and other affectionate caresses. Syaoran, on the other hand, never realized that he'd just broken one of his most cherished rules: he'd shown affection in public, and with a woman he loved.

Sakura asked, "What was that for?"

"Mmm," and Syaoran nuzzled her neck as they left the store and headed for the elevators. "She was curious as to whether we intend to have children as soon as we're married."

Sakura blushed. "Do you want to?"

Syaoran playfully held up the large box of condoms. "Do I look like it?" he teased her.

Sakura laughed, and kissed him. "No."

"Then," and Syaoran picked her up when the doors opened on their floor, "let's break this box in." They both laughed, and when their lips met, they tumbled through the door, and didn't come out again.

They were in love and happy. When not making love, they planned out their wedding; Syaoran wanted it to be small and private, although he explained to Sakura that his mother would probably want a big one because of who they were.

Sakura made several little suggestions that Syaoran loved: she wanted to carry a bouquet of nadeshiko flowers and cherry blossoms; she suggested that they find someone they both liked to design their outfits; she convinced him to hold it at his family home; and she preferred a small, quiet wedding. When Syaoran asked why, her response made him melt.

"No one can give me away...so I'll be walking down the aisle alone."

He touched his forehead to hers. "No. We'll walk together, Mrs Li, and screw tradition. We're going into this together."

"I ever tell you I love you?" Sakura raised shining eyes to him.

Syaoran smiled. "Never nearly as often as I'd like," and he kissed her gently.

"And another thing, sweetheart," Syaoran continued, as he sketched the layout of the Li Manor in Hong Kong, teaching Sakura how to navigate her way around it when he brought her there to meet his relatives, "Because I've made, well, a few enemies..."

"Just a few? You?" Sakura giggled; she'd gotten Syaoran to admit to what he'd done in the past when it came to hostile takeovers. "No...Not with your charming personality," she teased him. "How awful of these people!"

"Humph," Syaoran grunted. "Please take me seriously, Mrs Li." His now-gentle light brown eyes looked stern. " I'd prefer it if you went out with me or a bodyguard I'll get for you. I...I would hate it if anything happened to you."

Sakura became serious. "That bad, Syao-wolf?"

Syaoran nodded. "I was...an asshole. In many ways I still am," he admitted. "An asshole, that is. I have to be."

"Not to me," Sakura smiled, and hugged him. "Okay. But you will help me get a job when we get back to Hong Kong?"

"Silly little blossom," Syaoran chuckled, and he abruptly pinned her to the bed playfully. "Taking care of the house and..." he kissed her neck, "our future children...is going to be a full-time job. And you still want to work outside?"

"Hey, I need pin money," Sakura protested. "And there you go again, using your size advantage over me," she scolded gently.

"Advantage? Good," he grinned. "But really, Sakura, you get an allowance from me and you never have to spend for anything."

"How can I buy you presents from your own money?" Sakura pointed out.

"I don't care."

"I. Do." Sakura sniffed.

"Oh all right, sweetheart," Syaoran grumbled again. "Independent women," he snorted, but was unable to hide a grin.

"Chauvinistic men," Sakura retorted, sticking her tongue out childishly and playfully at him.

"Mmm. Don't start an argument, with your husband, Mrs. Li. You know I _**always **_know how to end it," and Syaoran began to kiss Sakura again. As his hands wandered over her body, Sakura suddenly bolted upwards.

"The wedding plans!" Sakura squeaked as she rolled out from under him. "Behave for a few hours, can't you?"

Syaoran sighed. "Oh all right." They continued working on their wedding plans for a while, and began to discuss how they would split the bills (much to Syaoran's amusement), the housework, and so on. They drew lots for cleaning the toilet, and to Syaoran's dismay and Sakura's vast amusement, he lost.

"Wow, imagine the Li Group CEO cleaning toilets," she giggled.

"Argh! I'll hire a maid to come in and clean!" Syaoran grabbed the chore list out of Sakura's hands over her protests and tossed it into the wastecan. "Come on, sweet blossom, we have better things to do," and he mischievously reached for her.

"Hands! Hands to yourself!" Sakura squealed, and they both laughed. He caught her in an embrace instead and rubbed his nose across hers.

"I'll hire people to teach you the gourmet cooking you've always wanted, masseuses, anything else you want to learn so you won't be bored at home. Thank you for understanding, about the need for the bodyguard." he said. "I'm sorry if I am restricting your life," he said sadly, "because of who I am."

He paused, then suddenly asked, "But if you prefer...I can quit! We can move to Japan...back to your old hometown...I've always wanted to try something else. Maybe go for a degree in archaeology and history?"

"You can't!" Sakura said. "Syaoran, your life...you said you've always been aggressive, you built the Li Group up from what your father did..."

"My cousin can take over. I..." and he touched her chin gently, "I want my priority to be you...and the family we will have someday."

Sakura smiled and hugged Syaoran. _**He loves me that much! **_She shivered from the thrill, and Syaoran chuckled. "Want to get started on that family, Mrs Li?" he teased. He could almost envision their children; he'd never imagined having them with anyone else. The idea of an heir wasn't what drove Syaoran; rather, he wanted to know what their union could produce...and he smiled.

"You're insatiable!" Sakura giggled. "Why, Mr. Li, shouldn't you wait until we actually are married?"

"Oh. Right," Syaoran began to fondle her breasts under her shirt gently, kissing his way down towards them, and they laughed and collapsed back on the bed, kissing passionately. Naturally, they wound up making love again.

They wound up spending two days longer in Tokyo than they intended to. In that time, they fell even deeper in love with each other, and Syaoran completely forgot about going to Tomoeda as he happily explored the large city with his beloved.

He did make several calls to arrange for his engagement party with Sakura, and to talk to his mother and Mei Ling.

"Mei Ling. We have missing memories from the fourth and fifth grade. Have you got anything for me?"

"You've never acknowledged them," Mei Ling said in wonderment. "No, sorry; am just in the dark as you. But when you come home, I think I should show you something I saved from the past; might trigger a memory or two."

"I have to remember now. It's because I keep having these flashbacks that involve Sakura...my fiancee. I think we're connected from the past. And Mother? I know you're listening. You know Sakura Kinomoto; I'm sure you and Mei Ling discussed her behind my back. Who is she?"

Yelan Li sighed. "Syaoran, it's too complicated to go into over the phone. But…she's from your past."

"I know that. What I don't understand is, what memories I have tell me she's supposed to be my age. Can the Elders be of any help here?" Syaoran asked.

_**Is he talking to me as if I were someone he didn't despise? **_Yelan smiled. Her misgivings about Sakura faded; if she could change Syaoran so drastically in so short a time, what could she do in a lifetime with him?

"I'll find out, and I'll let you know. When are you coming home?"

Syaoran chuckled. "Tomorrow. And I want to hold the engagement ceremony at the Manor on Saturday."

"Syaoran! That's less than a week away!"

"It's an auspicious date, Mother. And we've had our horoscopes cast; we are perfectly compatible," Syaoran said. "Charge everything to me."

Mei Ling suddenly interrupted. "Are you quite sure, Syaoran?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my life. And, Mei Ling? Thank you. For everything."

Against her will, Mei Ling laughed. "Now that proves you're not Syaoran. You actually thanked me. The real Syaoran doesn't have 'please' 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' in his vocabulary," she teased.

"Yeah, rub it in that I was a flaming asshole," Syaoran groaned. "Please. Help me out here."

"Oh all right," Mei Ling grumbled. As she hung up, she turned to meet Yelan's smiling eyes.

"You're eager to get him married, aren't you?" Yelan teased.

"Yes, because once he is, I can relax," Mei Ling laughed.

"And focus on that man you lured away from Citigroup?" Yelan's eyes were mischievous.

"The Kurogane guy? Good god, Auntie, he's such an arrogant jerk!"

_**And yet he brings out the fiery side of you that you've repressed for years,**_ Yelan thought, as she recalled the near-screaming match the two had in the boardroom a day or so ago. She looked forward to seeing how this relationship would play out.

But she could not shake the feeling that was like a premonition...that Syaoran's happiness with Sakura would have a limited time.

_**No. I cannot let my son's happiness be broken! **_she vowed.

* * *

Above, on the hotel rooftop, the Cardcaptor could sense Sakura's and Syaoran's emotions, and he would blush hard whenever they made love...which was often. Three days, and no card had come to bother them. But he had noticed that their long-suppressed powers were growing; when they made love, they did not notice how their suite glowed with soft green and pink lights. And Sakura's powers were changing into something else entirely...something they all would be grateful for when the time came.

He turned to Cerberus.

"Cerberus-san? Is something interfering with the last two cards? I'd've thought the cards would be attracted to Kinomoto-san and Li-san."

Cerberus sighed. The boy was too smart. "It's not a good sign at all. Someone..." and his thoughts flashed to the Moon guardian, "must be interfering." By the rules, the Moon Guardian had to be close to them, and yet Yue had broken tradition by not being near the boy.

"I guess we just have to be patient then," and the boy summoned Sword and Mirror so that he could practice his martial arts with them. "Mirror, Sword, will you practice with me again today?" he asked respectfully. Mirror smiled, and nodded; Sword floated into his hand as Mirror created its own sword, and they began to spar.

_**His control over them is growing, and the cards love him, **_Cerberus thought wistfully. Of course the boy had had training from Eriol himself, but his natural abilities allowed him to do things Sakura had never been able to do as the Cardcaptor. _**He will earn his name soon. Damn those cards! Where are they?**_

And almost as if summoned, an aura revealed itself to them. The Cardcaptor quickly unsummoned Sword and Mirror, and ran in the direction of the aura.

But it was enveloping someone else, not Sakura or Syaoran. Quickly summoning Fly, the Cardcaptor raced in the direction of the aura, Cerberus racing behind him.

"Snow rabbit!" Cerberus screamed. Yukito looked up, only to be swallowed by Return as he walked home with a grocery bag filled with food in each arm.

And he was quickly spat out by Return. The Cardcaptor sent fire at the card's original form, weakening it, and he narrowly avoided being captured himself when he managed to seal it.

Yukito sat up, and then transformed into Yue. For once, Yue looked shaken.

"My false form," he said. "It is regaining its memories. And Return tried to bring it back into its past...back to high school."

"Not a random attack," the Cardcaptor said. "Your false form's memories are being returned for a reason, though it is not yet clear now."

"So that's why Return went for you," Cerberus said.

Yue was looking at himself. "I am not fading. Which means..." and he turned to Cerberus angrily. "He's still here, somehow, Clow is. Why?"

"All will be revealed soon," Cerberus said soothingly.

"And why have I not been informed? Why?" Yue angrily took a step towards Cerberus, who did not flinch.

"Come on. Dream serves under you, and you know augury is your forte. Can you not feel what is coming?" Cerberus said sternly.

"Since when have you been the smart one?" Yue asked scathingly.

"When you began being the stupid one," was the quick retort. "Now, _**think**_!"

Yue closed his eyes. After several minutes, in which he saw an awful battle against a fearsome opponent, he opened them. "No. Oh no," he said softly, his anger dissipating when he realized how much Syaoran and Sakura would be needed for the coming battle

"Yes, whether you accept it or not. _**He **_was not meant to exist. But _**he **_is coming. We must be prepared. Which is why if you know where Dream is, you must tell us so that this boy," and Cerberus indicated the Cardcaptor, "can earn the right to choose his name and transform the cards into his own. When he has a name, that's an advantage over the nameless one who is coming here."

The Cardcaptor gasped as he grasped the significance of Cerberus' words.

"But the rules..." Yue began.

"Damn it to _**hell **_Yue! Like you've obeyed them? I felt your anger at the shrine...you still want to punish the _**gaki**_," Cerberus said. "But there are things bigger than us right now."

_Someone is coming, _the Cardcaptor thought. Someone as nameless as I am. And the pieces fell into place with a click in his mind: his father's hints, the little clues Cerberus let slip about his nature, how he responded to Syaoran.

"I know what I am now," the Cardcaptor said suddenly. "I am a clone. I was cloned from Syaoran Li-san. That's why I I look so much like him."

"...what?" Cerberus and Yue turned to face the boy. He was looking at his hands, and touching his hair.

"I know," he said quietly. "Don't hide it from me." On one hand he felt honored to have been created from such a powerful man; he'd heard of how Syaoran had once taken down Yue himself—when he was twelve. But on the other hand...I'm not completely human.

Now he appreciated what his parents had given him—by way of love, training, kindness...and something that felt like a second chance at life. Memories were there, dancing teasingly just out of reach of his consciousness.

_**He wasn't supposed to figure it out yet! **_Cerberus was frantic; he wanted to contact Eriol as soon as he could.

Yue looked at the boy; despite his marked resemblance to Syaoran, he could not feel any rancor towards him. Instead, he bent over and took the boy's chin in his hands. "There is no shame in knowing who and what you are. You are so much more powerful than the last two candidates I tested."

"You accept me?" The boy raised his amber eyes towards Yue. "Why?"

"Hitsuzen." Yue said quietly. "And I believe this is yours. I had planned to use it against Li, but...I see there is need for him in the future, and he must be whole so that he can teach you his magic." Yue waved a hand and the Cardcaptor gasped; Dream was released...but it quickly disappeared.

"NO!" Yue yelled. "Where...why..."

The Cardcaptor didn't even bother chasing after it. "It's headed somewhere far...I think it absorbed whatever your intentions were."

Yue sighed heavily. "It's never done that before."

"You must have had a serious thing planned for him, huh?" Cerberus said sarcastically. "You know the cards respond to emotions! You idiot!"

"You try getting hit with a lightning bolt sometime!" Yue yelled back.

"Please...Cerberus-san, Yue-san...We need to think of where it's going," the Cardcaptor said.

Reluctantly Yue and Cerberus calmed down. The boy had a point.

"In the meantime...you owe me an explanation," Yue said to Cerberus. "Give it to me."

As for the Cardcaptor, he now knew that name he wanted to choose once he earned it. _**All I need is to have the augury dream the Dream card gives, **_he thought to himself, _**and perhaps that silent barrier to my memories in my mind will unlock.**_

* * *

Syaoran and Sakura flew back to Hong Kong, and once they got into his limousine at the airport, Syaoran said, "I have a surprise for you, little blossom." He gently tied a velvet blindfold around Sakura's eyes, and she giggled.

"Why are you being so secretive?" she asked as she snuggled up to him in the limousine.

"You'll see," he chuckled, and he pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He felt free, happy, and loved; he was looking forward to how she would react to their new home, and the presents which he'd planted in the entryway for her. And he wanted Sakura to meet the interior designer Daidouji; he felt they would get along.

Once they arrived at Causeway Bay, he bent down to kiss her tenderly, slipping his tongue between her lips.

"I love you, Sakura" Syaoran said gently.

"I love you too, Syaoran!" Sakura responded. She was on a delicious high; she was marrying the man she loved, they had made sweet love everyday since the first time, and now he was surprising her. _**I am so lucky! **_she thought.

Syaoran carried her into the condo building's foyer, raising a few eyebrows, which he ignored. He kissed her as he entered the elevator, and then set her on her feet outside their penthouse.

"Ready, sweet blossom?" he asked.

"I just want to get the blindfold off," she replied cheerfully. "Mou, Syaoran?"

Syaoran laughed, and keyed the door open. He was satisfied when he saw what Daidouji had done to the place, and in so little time; he could imagine coming home to Sakura in the house.

With a flourish, he pulled her blindfold off, and she blinked in the sudden light.

"Where are we?" she asked.

Syaoran stepped towards her and gently tilted her chin upwards. "Home," he said simply as he kissed her. Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, and they nuzzled noses and giggled.

"Home? Our home?" Sakura asked as Syaoran placed his arms around her waist and gently mock-waltzed her around the room.

"It is. We just have to go through the engagement ceremony next week. I think my mother will love you, sweetheart."

"I hope so," she smiled. She no longer felt nervous; it was as if she knew who Syaoran's mother was, for some reason.

"She pretty much has no choice," Syaoran chuckled. Had Mei Ling and Yelan seen him so playful and happy at that moment, they would never have recognized him. The cold, arrogant, cruel Syaoran was completely gone, replaced by a reserved but happy, sweet Syaoran who complemented Sakura perfectly.

A soft sound of a cleared throat made them turn towards the door. Tomoyo Daidouji stood there, smiling at them.

"Ah, Ms Daidouji," Syaoran took Sakura's hand and they walked over to Tomoyo. "Sweetheart, this is our interior decorator, Ms Tomoyo Daidouji."

Tomoyo was surprised to see that Sakura looked like her deceased aunt Nadeshiko, and her jaw dropped open before she could control herself.

"Er," Sakura smiled at her. "Daidouji-san?"

"Oh...sorry," Tomoyo apologized. "You look so like my aunt, Nadeshiko Kinomoto. Only, the hair is different."

"Ki...Kinomoto?" Sakura's grip on Syaoran's hand tightened. "My mother's name was Nadeshiko Kinomoto."

"You even have her green eyes," Tomoyo breathed. "Are you Sakura...? But...you're supposed to be dead!"

"What?" Sakura took a step backwards, and her head began to spin. Syaoran quickly caught her.

"Daidouji...where is the bedroom?" he asked quietly but urgently.

Tomoyo pointed, and Syaoran carried Sakura to the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed.

"She isn't ready to remember," Tomoyo said; she had followed them into the room.

"How do you know?" Syaoran asked as he turned to her.

Tomoyo shrugged. "I just do. I guess I can just observe things. And I think she is my cousin. I know I had one but...I guess now is not the time to discuss it, Li-san."

"She is?" Syaoran took a step towards Tomoyo "Tell me about her. How old is she supposed to be?"

"She should be our age. In fact, she is supposed to be older than us both. I was born in September, and I know you were born in July..."

"How do you know that?" Syaoran asked.

"I...Li-san, I know that I know you but I don't know why or how. I have missing memories and yet..." Tomoyo shrugged.

"Aren't you...don't you find this weird?" Syaoran asked.

"It...just feels familiar, somehow," Tomoyo said thoughtfully. "You seem familiar somehow, like I knew you in the past. Which means I probably did."

Syaoran stared out the window. More pieces of the puzzle were falling into place, and he wasn't sure he liked it.

* * *

_**Sorry**! No preview for Chapter 9, because I don't want to give the next turn of events away. Instead I will tell you that the Cardcaptor finally chooses his name, Sakura and Syaoran go through their mini-marriage, and Syaoran is forced to go through a painful ordeal for Sakura's sake. But it will be up on or before June 15; pardon the delay because two of my other fics need updating XD_

(why does FFN edit out smileys anyway? Darn darn darn)__

As always, thanks to: **C.Babe** (LOL, does this mean you're gonna leave when the lemons disappear, heh heh. And you got a GIANT clue in this chapter as to who the Cardcaptor is! XD); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx **(Cliffies are nice! Don't worry, the story is planned out all the way to the ending, and if you look back once you know who he is, you'll see I planted hints :D); **Pipi-chan** (LOL what makes you think they will always be happy? Don't you know me? -- evil Tomoyo laugh here); **Cheeseycraziness **(Was that a pun in your first sentence? LOL. More happy moments here, and no preview...which should warn you about the next chapter!); **SakuraLover **(Are you complaining LOL? XD They love each other very very much, but I think you've read enough of my fics to know what comes next...); **AngelEmCuti **(Fei Wong Reed's biggest sin is NOT cloning Syaoran Li for all of us XD And I like how you wrote, "for the moment" Gosh you know me too well ;p); **Raine793 **(And even deeper here! Hint: No he won't regret his promise, because it is a promise, but he will be very sorry he made it, because he has to keep it ); **whitewave16 **(Sorry, no E it's Eriol and Kaho, and you read the hints right!); **rondallagurl **(Well, that's what the warning at the beginning is for, ne?--smiles--thanks for not flaming!); **AiEdogawaIsaBellaCullen **(Yelan is nice in my fic so why not? LOL), **Musette Fujiwara** (Not Void but I am really wondering about you now LOL because Void will play an important role near the end! And a hint: neither Syaoran nor Sakura will ever leave the other willingly. Heh heh, they're too in love for that...so...); **meow-mix23** (no preview here, only hints XD); **Hououza **(You are always so perceptive! And no, their son will not be in this fic, but someone else will XD I had to laugh re Japanese with a Yorkshire accent--hehe. Touya is out for the meantime but he will deliver a devastating blow to poor Syaoran soon); **mizu dreamsxx** (It's perfectly OK! And yes, I thought that would be so Sakura-ish. I love her to bits! Syaoran too XD And aw, so sweet...what stresses me out at work is watching my Sakura-like boss and her own boss be all angsty around each other LOL); **chibiNeko192 **(LOL! I might end with the new Cardcaptor's story if anyone wants it :D); **saphirablossom **(Thank you for appreciating the work I put into developing the characters, especially since writing Syaoran from bad to good was so hard! You are absolutely correct re the new Cardcaptor; like S&S he knows! And I think you can tell who will remember first now, heh heh); **Krysia **(Thank you so much for your review, and for noticing the work put into it! Hope you got my PM!); **KamichanaKarinLover25 **(blush-I really wanted to stay realistic while showing just how much they loved each other, so thanks!); **iNuQTpIe **(Yes! You do! Actually Syaoran finds out first LOL); **Forest Scion** (Thank you! I enjoy TRC as well, and I have to admit Ch 189 really threw me for a loop, but still...on with my original plans! Hope you stay till the end!); **sakuraakamichelle **(Hello! No,it's a GOOD thing they did LOL. Thanks!); and **Keetra **(I hope you see what's up there for you!).


	10. Truth Telling

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 9**

**Author's note: **_This chapter became longer than I thought, so I broke it into two. This update is a day late because I had to revise and cut. I won't be promising update dates from now on so as not to have to break my promises, but be assured that this fic will be updated at least once a month :D_

_Again, thanks, hugs, and kisses to **Cheeseycraziness **(ExT fans HAVE to read her **"In the Broken Lies!"**) and to **parma-violets** (**"Void**" and YES she will get around to updating it, she's just busy and is a prerfectionist to boot. I can vouch for Void 10 being AWESOME when she finally does put it out!). Parma caught several inconsistencies in the original draft, which I had to revise, and that is why this story is a day late. She stayed up late just to comment on it, so I really owe her!_

* * *

**Truth-Telling**

_It was a weekend in early June, and Touya had one of his rare days off. He chose to spend it by going to a famous shrine where there was supposed to be a guardian god one could pray to for memories, whether to forget or to remember._

_Touya wanted to remember who it was who haunted his memories and yet was always shadowed. He remembered only flashes: gray hair, a warm smile, glasses. He also wanted to understand why he missed this vague figure more than he did his sister._

_There was something hollow in his heart, and had always been so ever since Sakura disappeared. Yet he knew it wasn't his sister he was looking for. Someone else. Someone who made him feel __**alive**__._

_A small rainstorm started, and Touya found refuge under one of the temple's large eaves. He thought of his sister, and her mysterious disappearance? death? many years ago._

_Footsteps came towards him, and before he could turn, someone slender had slammed into him._

_Someone with indescribably beautiful gray—no greenish-gray—no, gray-bronze—eyes that changed color, all behind silver-rimmed glasses._

"_Sorry," came a soft, gentle voice._

_Someone who, when Touya caught the other man's hand to help him up, felt right, though he wasn't human, Touya realized. Not that Touya cared._

"_You," Touya whispered._

_And Yukito stared back. There they were, the eyes that haunted his dreams for the past sixteen years. And there stood the man Return had revealed to him just the night before._

_They stood in the rain, staring at each other, neither daring to speak in case the other was a fragile illusion._

_Around them, the rain poured harder, then suddenly stopped._

_Touya held his head as memories poured back into them. Yukito gently held him as he went through the agony of regaining his memories...praying that things would be all right._

_And when Touya straightened up, a light blazed in his eyes. He felt nothing but anger towards Syaoran, whose name he did not remember but whose face was now emblazoned on his mind. _**That gaki! Wait till I get my hands on that bastard!**

_Because he now remembered a night when Syaoran had been told not to interfere...and yet had still done so._

_Whatever had happened to Sakura was that boy's fault. And Touya fully intended to punish him for making Sakura lose, and causing her to disappear._

* * *

Syaoran watched contentedly as Sakura and Tomoyo explored the penthouse together. Sakura had woken up without—as he expected—any memory of what triggered her fainting spell, and as though they had agreed on it, he and Tomoyo did not mention it to her.

The two young women, despite the difference in age, got along immediately. Tomoyo was captivated by the younger woman's smile and sweet disposition, and Sakura felt she could trust the older woman.

"Oh, we have to go shopping...there's nothing in the fridge," Sakura fretted as she opened the refrigerator. "Let's see...milk...crabsticks for Syaoran...maybe some frozen dumplings...hmmm." Then she stopped, and smiled sweetly; it was wonderful to have someone to take care of, someone who was hers, someone who loved her and also took care of her. It was such a thrill, now that she was no longer alone, to know that there was someone else to consider when preparing meals, moving stuff at home, even when she fixed her schedule. She touched her engagement ring, and sighed happily, "Syaoran Li. My Syaoran."

She raised her head to Tomoyo, who had been watching her and who smiled back. "Let's go together?"

"Sure, but won't Li-san mind?"

"I don't think so," Sakura trotted cheerfully towards her fiance. "Want to go to the grocery with us, Syao-wolf?"

"Hell no, especially if you guys are getting _**girly **_stuff," Syaoran grinned mischievously as he came up to Sakura, not noticing Tomoyo watching them. He tilted her chin upwards to kiss her, and Sakura murmured happily as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Love you," he whispered softly in her ear.

"Love you too," Sakura responded.

_Something about them...and not just how much they loved each other. _Tomoyo resisted the urge to giggle; it would be undignified.

But the thought of the greatly feared Syaoran Li acting like a besotted school boy, like a purring lion, with his small, lovely fiancee…She knew who he was, what his reputation was, and Tomoyo was having trouble reconciling the media image of Syaoran as a heartless, ruthless, cruel hostile takeover specialist who tore companies and families apart in the name of profit, with the soft, gentle, tender man she could see now. He was caressing Sakura's cheek as she watched, and was pressing kisses to her forehead as they talked to each other.

Tomoyo had heard of how Syaoran's ex-fiancee had nearly committed suicide when he left her; she'd also heard of how he had aggressively pursued three other women only to drop them later. While he wasn't a playboy—four women was hardly an impressive total, unless you counted the ones he pursued briefly then quickly dropped—he had a bad reputation with women.

Truth to tell, she'd thought of Syaoran Li as an unpleasant person, so when he'd contacted her to do the penthouse for himself and a woman, she'd been surprised, especially since it was public knowledge that Syaoran had been without a woman for two years now.

_**Do I trust him to take care of Sakura?**_ Tomoyo wondered.

_**Why am I so worried about her? **_she thought, startled.

She watched the two lovers kiss, and when Syaoran released Sakura so that she could get her purse, he watched her with loving eyes. Syaoran could not conceal his feelings for Sakura; that was quite obvious, especially when he smiled and his cheeks went rosy whenever Sakura smiled back at him.

Together, they brought out the childish and romantic side which Tomoyo thought had died when she was in grade school. It was taking a lot of her self-control to keep from squeeing and declaring, "How cute!" as she saw Sakura and Syaoran.

_**The way he looks at her...it's like an afternoon long ago when I could not speak...I am waiting for him to realize what he feels...I am writing in a notebook, teasing him about it...**_

And with a sudden flash, as though something had shattered in her mind, memories came flooding back.

_**The tapes in the basement that I locked away as a child...the costumes I gave away when I was eleven and could not understand why I had them when they were sized for someone more slender...the person I've been missing...is Sakura!**_

Sakura had returned to Syaoran's side, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, talking to her softly. Sakura responded by nuzzling his neck, and they both closed their eyes...He was blushing faintly..._just like he used to when he looked at Sakura...sixteen years ago..._

_They were at school, and Tomoyo had begun to notice how the once-hostile Syaoran Li had begun blushing and watching Sakura's back in class. He was rough yet gentle with her, and when Tomoyo pointed this out to him, he stammered, then receded into silence. No words were necessary. Tomoyo smiled, because she knew...he loves her. And the thought had amused her vastly._

"Li-kun!" Tomoyo whispered. "Sakura-chan..." She braced herself against the wall, then blindly made her way to the toilet. _**Oh no. Oh God no.**_

Syaoran saw Tomoyo leave out of the corner of his eye, but Sakura had her arms around him and was kissing him passionately, so he was distracted. He assumed that Tomoyo left to give them some privacy.

She slammed the door shut and managed to reach the floor, where she pressed her head against the cool tiles.

_**Images of a very young Syaoran Li in a green ceremonial costume (the design of which Tomoyo rather liked), screaming, "Help her! Stop it, Yue!" **_

_**When no one moved, Li cursed and pulled out an ofuda before anyone could stop him. With a loud "Raitei! Shourai!" he summoned his most powerful spell, ignoring the cost to himself. A mighty bolt of thunder shattered the magical barrier around the Tower, and struck Yue—who had once been Yukito—shredding his feathers and sending him plummeting towards the ground.**_

_**And Kero-chan's scream of agony. "No! He's caused her to fail!" **_

_**Mizuki-sensei, standing on the deck of Tokyo Tower, had her mouth open in horror.**_

_**Li-kun.**_Somehow Sakura had disappeared because of him. And now they were together again.

For the first time in years, Tomoyo began to cry. With a horrible clarity she understood what had happened. The tragedy of the world had taken place after all. Sakura had been the light of so many people's lives, and her loss had changed everything, changed who they all were at the core.

_**Do I blame him?**_ The memories were so far away from who she was now, and her life had been happy: her mother Sonomi, sensing her beautiful daughter's disquiet, had eased off on work to spend time with her. Those were happy times: she'd learned to make casseroles, her mother's favorite dishes, even complicated savory stews.

_**I was happy. Sakura's disappearance didn't hurt me as much because Mom stepped in and filled the hole in my heart,**_ Tomoyo smiled, thinking of her wonderful mother gratefully.

_She remembered Touya becoming blank and emotionless when they found him outside the park near Tokyo Tower. She remembered a defeated-looking Kero-chan._

_Yet none of them had been more shattered than Syaoran. She now remembered him the day after the incident; he'd been broken…and crying…on the swings in Penguin Park. She had found him there, unable to express what he felt…and he was desperately clinging to the memory of Sakura, though Tomoyo could tell it was slipping away. He swung listlessly, whispering, "I caused her to fail. It was my fault," over and over._

_She had not known how to comfort him, and when their eyes met, his had glazed over, and he'd run away from her. That was the last time Tomoyo had seen Syaoran in Tomoeda._

_**He punished himself, **_Tomoyo realized with a sudden start. Syaoran clearly had a miserable adolescence and how he was clinging to Sakura betrayed how desperately he needed her love. And she felt sorry for the child he had been.

But she also remembered the child she had been.

"_**For me, so long as the person I love is happy, I am happy as well."**_

What she had once said to Sakura was still true. Though Tomoyo was overjoyed at the thought of having her best friend and cousin back—_**never mind the clear difference in their ages now, never mind where she had been for so long**_—she understood that she needed to hold her peace for now. And..._**Li-kun loves her**_, Tomoyo thought, her eyes going soft. _**After all these years, and though he does not have his memories of what happened then...he still loves only her. **_

She needed no more proof than the way he looked at her...like Sakura was the only thing that mattered in his life.

Tomoyo drew several deep breaths as her memories washed over her again. She could not feel anger towards Li-kun because she could see how happy he made Sakura. When she was calm, she turned the taps on and splashed water on her face. Sakura was back. That was the only thing that mattered.

As she came out of the toilet, she found Sakura and Syaoran snuggled together on the loveseat. She could hear Syaoran counting Sakura's fingers off playfully, and Sakura giggling happily. "We're going to have as many kids as you like," he said, and rubbed his nose against Sakura's. "But let's have five years, at least, without them yet."

Sakura had an expression of pure bliss on her face as she snuggled against Syaoran, who himself wore an expression of happiness. They were murmuring at each other, and clearly wanted to make love but were reining themselves in for her sake.

It was nice to see Syaoran giving in to his feelings, instead of cursing and fighting a losing battle against them as he had when he was younger. Sakura, however…and Tomoyo smiled when she realized it…was still very much the same happy child she had always been. Except…now she was more sensual, more aggressive, more expressive.

_**It is beautiful to see,**_ Tomoyo thought cheerfully.

Amused that her décor had been used so appropriately, she cleared her throat. Syaoran jumped up as though he'd been scalded, his cheeks flaming red (_just like when he was younger_, Tomoyo thought), but, Tomoyo noted, he was still holding Sakura's hands. _What an image. The ruthless Li heir blushing like crazy! _Tomoyo thought, amazed.

"Er...Daidouji..." he said awkwardly. "Um..."

"I can come back another time," she smiled.

"No...no...Little blossom, I'll stay here while you two shop. I do have work to catch up on," Syaoran said. Actually it was a week's worth of work but he didn't want to tell her that; he knew she would worry.

"Er, okay. You sure? Want anything from the grocery?" Sakura asked.

"Hmmm," Syaoran murmured as he thought out loud. "Crabsticks, soy sauce...ingredients for your meatball pasta...pretty much that..." Syaoran smiled. "And whatever you like. Here," and he passed over a black and gold credit card to Sakura. It was in her name. He smiled; she was the first woman he had ever trusted with money…his money, specifically. He knew her too well; she would buy books and maybe electronics, but never expensive accessories and jewelry. _**She has me to buy her that,**_ he thought, and he smiled.

"Syaoran?" Sakura raised her brows. "What..."

"Please," Syaoran grinned. "Break it in, Mrs Li. Or I'll pout all night...and," he added, dropping his voice to a whisper, "we both don't want _**that**_. Besides I promised to make you some dumplings, remember? I need rice paper wraps and ground beef for that, and some spices. We can have them for dinner this weekend, sweet blossom."

Tomoyo hid a smile behind her hand. "Sweet blossom" certainly suited Sakura as a nickname; she had just never imagined such a nickname would come from someone like Syaoran.

"Oh all right," Sakura giggled. "We're off!"

"Come home to me," Syaoran said as he kissed her goodbye.

"Of course!"

"Take the limo, all right, little blossom?"

"I will!" Sakura waved from the door. As the two women walked out of the penthouse, Tomoyo turned to Syaoran and said softly, "I am very happy you found each other again. I thought that after what you did, maybe you might never..." and she seemed to catch herself, "no. Forgive my forwardness, Li-san," and she blushed.

Syaoran wondered why her words had triggered a warning sense in him. He shook it off, and turned to the task of untangling the mess of work that had piled up in his absence.

Mostly the papers were of takeover suggestions and supporting documents and proposals from the Kurogane guy, with Mei Ling's notes here and there. Syaoran was surprised to notice that he no longer felt that urgent rush from the prospect of buying out a dying company. In fact...he now received a bigger thrill from kissing Sakura, and he smiled.

He made a phone call to Mei Ling.

"Syaoran! You're back!" Mei Ling gasped, sounding relieved. "God it was absolute HELL not having you around, that Tatomi CEO is being a pest, he wants to talk to you, and the bank is asking for you to grant them..."

"Yes," Syaoran interrupted before she could get in a good head of steam. "Mei Ling, I need to find out...what if I named you my successor, do I have the legal right to do so?"

Silence.

"Mei Ling? You realize why I have to ask you, not my mother?"

"Syaoran," Mei Ling hissed. "Not a nice joke. Especially since I had to pull so many strings to get your engagement ceremony organized for this weekend. Why me?"

"Because you're the only one who loves the company as much as I do. But Mei Ling, if you don't want to, I can make other arrangements. I just want to be a consultant from now on, because I want to move to Japan when Sakura and I are married. You're ready for this."

"I can't take this. Not now, Syaoran," Mei Ling moaned. "I beg you, tell me you're joking."

"Do I sound like I'm joking?"

"No. But say all this to my face," Mei Ling said.

"Sure. This weekend. And be ready with the answer I need," Syaoran said.

"Syaoran...Why?" Mei Ling didn't have to add anything else; Syaoran knew she was asking why he was willing to give up the company he had worked so hard to build.

"Because I love her," was the last thing Syaoran said before he hung up.

* * *

In the elevator going down, Tomoyo looked at Sakura. She had grown up the way Tomoyo had once imagined she would; she was delicately beautiful yet with a clear core of strength and courage. Her light brown hair now touched her shoulders in a messy little bob; her body had filled out into a lovely, womanly figure; only her big beautiful green eyes remained unchanged. And her smile.

Clearly, wherever she had been, Sakura had been at least happy.

"Daidouji-san?" Sakura was peering at Tomoyo curiously.

"Please," Tomoyo fought to swallow past the lump in her throat, "call me Tomoyo-chan."

"Are you sure? It's an honor," Sakura said.

"For me," Tomoyo replied, "it is. You feel like a sister to me."

Sakura laughed, and Tomoyo realized how little Sakura had changed with respect to that. She smiled her first real smile in a long time, and hugged Sakura tight.

"Hoee," Sakura realized that whatever it was Tomoyo was feeling, it would be better not to comment on it. Instead, she impulsively hugged Tomoyo back, and smiled as she squeezed her eyes shut happily. "Whatever it is, will be okay!" she said.

Tomoyo's self-control gave way upon hearing the familiar, beloved phrase, and seeing Sakura's happy smile, so she laughed. "My apologies," Tomoyo said. "I...it's been so long since I...met someone like you."

"Let's be friends!" Sakura eagerly held both of Tomoyo's hands. "I have so few girlfriends and you...I like you," she added eagerly. Tomoyo felt right to her, even like family…like a sister or a close cousin.

"Of course," Tomoyo smiled. Wherever Sakura had been then, she hadn't found many friends. The thought saddened Tomoyo, but she cheered up when she saw Sakura watching her.

Then she let out a small "Oh!" when one of her high heels caught on the carpeting, causing her to drop her purse. Sketches burst from her daybook and sketch pad, and Sakura and Tomoyo went flying to catch them.

"Are you all right?" Sakura asked, as she scrambled to pick up Tomoyo's papers.

"Yes, I am. I am so sorry for my clumsiness!" Tomoyo apologized, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

Sakura sorted out the papers, turning them right-side up and smoothing them over where they were creased. She saw a lovely sketch of a cocktail dress on one page, and marveled at the detail.

"Did you draw this?" Sakura asked Tomoyo.

Tomoyo held her breath. What could she say that wouldn't trigger an episode in Sakura?

"Yes..." she began tentatively. "But I…well, I never did get to sew those clothes; I just sketch them."

"So cute!" Sakura squealed. "Oh...you are so talented. I..." and her eyes grew wide. "Syaoran and I were just talking about this...could you...I mean, is it OK if I ask you to design an outfit for me?"

_**Do I? **_Tomoyo thought giddily. Just like old times. "Of course. What kind?" although Tomoyo thought she knew—a wedding dress.

"My wedding dress! I mean—Syaoran wants us to get married next month, and I haven't even prepared or anything yet..."

Tomoyo's eyes flashed joyfully. "Will you...I mean, if it's not too forward...I would...love to do your wedding planning...if it's all right by Li-san..." she stammered.

Sakura smiled radiantly. Something about Tomoyo was stirring memories in her, and they were pleasant. She trusted the older woman immediately, and her eyes...something about her eyes.

Tomoyo quickly pulled out her cell phone as she and Sakura entered the limousine that would take them to nearby Lane Crawford. Two bodyguards sent by Syaoran trailed them unobtrusively. "Oh but go on and get what you need. I want to prepare! Have you chosen a venue? A theme? Did you check out wedding suppliers yet? Have you decided on an auspicious date for your wedding? Did..."

"Hoeee! Dai...I mean, Tomoyo-chan, I...let's talk to Syaoran about this, how about that?" Sakura said as she pulled out her own cell phone to call Syaoran.

Stars were sparkling in Tomoyo's eyes and she thanked the gods for bringing her most precious person back into her life.

_**My dear cousin Sakura-chan.**_

Tomoyo quickly sketched ideas for wedding dresses, made notes for wedding themes, and thought of good suppliers she knew in Hong Kong. She didn't stop talking on her cell phone, not even when Sakura pulled her out of the car to go to the grocery, and finally, when they returned to the penthouse Sakura and Syaoran would share, she eagerly presented her ideas to the couple.

"Er..." Syaoran found himself at a loss for words. Tomoyo was suggesting a wedding that would blend East and West, with a blush-pink and jade green theme. She'd incorporated the ideas and plans he and Sakura had drawn up in Tokyo, drawn up a list of suppliers, and set a date for an ocular inspection of Li Manor, where she felt the wedding should take place.

On July 13. His birthday—which happened to be a highly auspicious date for both him and Sakura to marry.

It would be the best present he would ever receive in his life, Syaoran thought.

Tomoyo soon took her leave, excitedly drawing up a list of places to go and see the next day with Sakura, both for the finishing touches to decorate the penthouse and for wedding items. Sakura went over Tomoyo's plans, adding suggestions here and there, and pausing every now and then to look at Syaoran to see his response. He seemed bemused, but wasn't objecting.

"Syao-wolf?" she asked, peering up at him.

"Mmm?" he responded, his eyes straying to hers.

"Is everything all right?"

"Always," he smiled. Sakura smiled back, and thought of how much she loved him. Though she'd had a strange dream the night before, of adoring a gray-haired boy, she realized that even if he was real, even if he were from her past, she would still love Syaoran. _**He gave me his heart,**_ she thought. _**He gave me his love. He destroyed who he used to be just for me.**_

She walked over, and planted a kiss on his nose.

"What was that for? Not that I object," and Syaoran took her hand—the one with the engagement ring—in his.

"I love you. You're making dinner," she said mischievously.

Syaoran laughed. "I'm tired," he indicated the paperwork in his work area. "Let's just go out and have dinner."

"Penny saved, remember?" Sakura chided him. "If you're tired I'll cook."

"Sweetheart, I make so much money. I don't want either of us tired out at night when we have more...interesting...things to do," he grinned slyly. "All right?"

Sakura sat down next to him, and he put an arm over her. "It's just...hoee, I'm marrying you, and I love you. But marrying a rich man...well, that I'm not sure I'm ready for," Sakura confessed.

"That's part of me, you know," Syaoran said gently.

"I know. I just...I always think of saving on bills, cutting coupons, that kind of thing."

"And that's what makes you perfect. You can rein me in," Syaoran said as he kissed her forehead.

He was jolted by a sudden thought: he'd completely forgotten about the Kinomotos in Tomoeda. Wouldn't finding her family be the best present for her?

"Sweet blossom, what if you could walk down the aisle with your father?" Syaoran asked carefully.

Sakura sighed. Her wonderful, gentle father. She missed him. "It would be so perfect," she said softly. "Even my brother Touya heckling me with 'kaijuu' would be a nice thing."

_**Touya. **_Syaoran could remember dark eyes glaring at him at every opportunity. A voice saying, "Stay away from my sister!"

_**I have to find out for sure!**_

"Sweet blossom, I may have to return to Japan soon. I need you to stay here though and finish up our home and take care of wedding planning. Is that all right? Just a day or two," Syaoran said.

"Mou, Syaoran, I'll miss you," Sakura pretended to pout, then lost the battle to keep her face straight. "Of course it's okay. You know, you needn't ask me all the time," she said.

"I have to ask you," Syaoran said. "You know why," and he smiled. "And...Sakura, would you like to live in Japan maybe a year from now? Just you and me?"

"Hoee?" Sakura sat up, excited. To live back where she had been born...to be back. Syaoran always knew what would make her happy...and then she remembered...

"You built the Li Group, from what I understand. Why would you want to leave?" she asked.

All Syaoran had to do was look deep into her great green eyes.

"You...oh Syaoran..." was all she could say.

"I'm not proud of who I was in the past...not completely. I don't want our children growing up in the shadow I used to cast...or still do. I want them to know me as a real father. And I want you to know me as who I am," he said earnestly. "We can't live a normal life in Hong Kong, least of all because I've made enemies here."

"What about your family?" Sakura asked.

Syaoran immediately knew what she was trying to say. She would give anything to see hers, and here he was turning his back on his.

"They support me in my decisions. Don't worry. And you'll meet them this weekend," he smiled.

And Sakura felt herself tear up at that. He loved her enough to give up his life, to change for her, to think of their family. "I...You have no idea how lucky I am to have you," she whispered.

"Correction," Syaoran said. "You're wrong. How much I deserve you might be the real question."

"We're getting sappy, Syao-wolf," Sakura chided through her tears, and grinned.

Syaoran thought of how he loved her for her unexpected turns of mind, for her little surprises. "Prefer some other mood?" he said, his eyes sparkling playfully.

"Not until after dinner. The way you make love, I need to keep my strength up," Sakura said happily, bounced up, and pulled Syaoran to his feet—or at least tried to do so. "Come on, let's have dinner!"

When they returned after dinner, neither spoke a word, but Syaoran led Sakura to their new bedroom, and began to kiss her gently. Sakura felt her heart swell; they would make love in their new home for the first time. He unbuttoned her blouse, and paused to let her pull off his shirt, then they began to kiss deeper, more sweetly as they discarded their clothes quickly.

No matter how many times they had made love, the first breathless pause when they revealed their bodies to one another was always delicious for both of them. When they collapsed on the bed, Syaoran on top of Sakura and both completely naked, they continued to kiss breathlessly, neither making the first move to initiate full contact.

After a while, though, they began to lick and fondle one another. Syaoran could feel memories straining at the edges of his consciousness. But for the meantime, he ignored them, not knowing they carried a warning. He was too caught up in the heat of the moment…in the delicious prospect of loving Sakura again.

Outside their window, a small card in the form of a butterfly which used to shift colors was now fluttering. It had turned completely black, and was waiting to catch Syaoran off guard, to fulfill Yue's desire to punish Syaoran.

* * *

Despite Cerberus' protests and Yue's admonishments, the young Cardcaptor insisted on flying to Hong Kong. He knew that the old rashinban Syaoran Li once used to track down Clow cards was there, and he needed to speak to his father Eriol.

"This is a mistake, I just know it..." Cerberus whined. He was hidden in the Cardcaptor's backpack, in his "stuffed toy" form, the one that made him nervous.

"No, Cerberus-san. This is necessary," the boy said firmly but politely, his eyes set and determined. "I need information, and Father is the best source we have."

"You're supposed to avoid the Lis, remember? And here you are rabbiting to Hong Kong to see your father at the Li shrine!" Cerberus scolded.

"Cerberus-san, forgive me, but rules are also made to be broken. If I'm right then I am a Li, after all. If I'm wrong then I get information I need."

Cerberus sighed. So like the gaki and yet so unlike, he sighed. He held his peace all the way to Hong Kong, through Customs, and in the cab the boy hired to take them to the Li Shrine in Hong Kong.

As though they were expected, Eriol stood in front of the shrine, waiting patiently for his son, not commenting as the boy paid the driver and came out of the cab.

"Father," the Cardcaptor said, as he stood in front of Eriol and bowed respectfully. "I need your counsel, please."

"You know who you are now," Eriol smiled. He'd always loved surprises, and his son had made a giant leap of intellect so much faster than he'd been expected to.

"I know the truth was kept from me for a reason, but now I am afraid I need it in order to fight and capture the last card," the Cardcaptor said. He was beginning to appreciate his parents' training and lessons, and the role he was destined to play in the order of things.

"You were originally 'Syaoran' of Clow Country," Eriol began.

"I exist elsewhere?" The Cardcaptor's heart leapt eagerly. "My name is also Syaoran? I am not a clone but another version of Syaoran Li-san?"

"No, son. You were cloned from someone else who took the name 'Syaoran', and who was kept imprisoned while you lived the life of love he should have had with the girl destined for him—a Princess named Sakura. You were a substitute for him in many ways—even in the Princess' heart. But because she had a mysterious power related to her feathers, she was also captured and cloned. You then truly fell in love with her clone...and this clone is the one who has suffered the most for your sake...because she loved _**you**_, not the monster in your body."

"Oh no." Memories teased the new Cardcaptor's mind, and he held his temples. "I want to remember...I need to remember! Father...where is she? Who is she?"

"Wait. Let me finish first," Eriol said. "When you were cloned, you shared that body with a monster whose only purpose was to gather the girl's missing feathers and return them to her. You managed to separate yourself from the monster...and when that happened, you earned the right to live...the right to love."

"I...I am human, after all," the Cardcaptor whispered.

"You always have been, my son," Eriol said gently as he touched the boy's chin. "And I am proud...I was blessed to have the honor of raising you. When you regain your memories, you will see that the other half of me raised you originally in Clow," he smiled.

"So something must have happened for me to end up in this world," the Cardcaptor quickly realized.

"Yes. You evolved from the fragment of the original 'Syaoran's' soul—which had been embedded in that body as a gamble—and developed your own heart and mind. And so the monster lay buried within because you...as the original Syaoran gambled...you developed your own heart and soul. As a result, the monster could only come to the fore when you were under duress..."

"A library. A fight I don't remember winning," the Cardcaptor whispered.

"It got worse. When you nearly died in Tokyo..." Eriol continued.

"Our Tokyo?"

"An alternate one in an alternate future," Eriol replied. "One in which we are all dead. When you nearly died there...I paid the price to save your soul."

"All beings with a heart and soul, and who can love, deserve the chance at life and love, even those who are created," the Cardcaptor whispered. "That's why you kept telling me that. You were preparing me for this day."

"My original wish, when I waited for Sakura Kinomoto to grow up, was to not be the most powerful sorceror in the world. But after things went wrong in the Final Judgment, I also knew things had gone badly wrong for you. Your death would have meant we all were that much closer to the unraveling of the fabric of time and dimensions, because it meant no one would be left alive to stop the monster who shared your body."

A pause. Eriol's glasses were misting up, and he took them off to dry them. "So I paid half of my magic to save your soul...and that of the girl you were destined for, that poor clone of the Princess, because she, too, nearly died a little later...because she was searching for you."

The Cardcaptor felt a twinge in his heart. _**I **_**have **_**to remember that girl!**_

"And you were not given a name, my son, because your choice of a name would mean the difference between disaster and hope," Eriol said. "You were reborn in a body taken from Syaoran Li because the monster in your original body may be vulnerable to some of Syaoran's abilities, and those of Sakura Kinomoto. That's why you had to become the Cardcaptor. And that's why you will have to learn a few things from them."

"I have dreamed of the monster, Father. His only purpose is to gather the feathers...why do I know this?"

"You are linked. He is, after all, in your original body. It's why we chose to place you in a body taken from Syaoran Li's genetic material—so that you would still be in a body similar to your original body, and yet you would be difficult for the monster in your body to trace. He will come for you, because he will want to take your powers. What he does not know, though..." and Eriol smiled.

"...is that there is no seat to my powers. Not even the Cards," the Cardcaptor smiled. "And I may have to absorb the Cards soon in order to protect them as well as myself," he deduced quickly. "That way they cannot be taken. That way, even if I die, my powers—and the Cards—cannot be taken. The cards will be released if I die, and he'll have to gather them all one by one...and he cannot win them over, not given what he is."

Eriol held back a large lump in his throat. Every price paid to save this boy was completely worth it.

"And you resonate to Sakura-san and Syaoran-kun because the boy you were taken from originally was their son," Eriol explained. A pause. "I pray, my son, that I have guided you well. The rest is up to you."

"I wish to choose my name now, with your advice," the Cardcaptor said. "Time is running out for all of us. I have had dreams of someone...something with eyes of different colors. The monster, I believe, that you mentioned. He is coming here for something...and I don't have enough time to convert the cards...but if I were a Clow, then conversion will not be necessary; instead I simply need to use the cards once under my new name. I am your son, and you are the reincarnation of Clow Reed. I am created from Syaoran Li-san, who is of Chinese descent...though I am not him. And I have an affinity for fire. So, father, my decision...I wish to be known as 'Shaoron Clow'--the little dragon of Clow who is the son of Clow. I hope to prevent the disaster of the worlds that we all have seen in our dreams."

Eriol fought against the overwhelming sense of destiny that was engulfing him. The young Cardcaptor had taken a crucial step on the path which Eriol had foreseen would be the right one. And he had, without knowing it, also honored the man who had originally raised him as well.

"Shaoron of Clow...I am proud to have you as my son," Eriol whispered as he enfolded the boy in his arms and smiled. "And know that I have always loved you...Shaoron."

"Thank you. I love you, Father," Shaoron said softly.

Eriol released the boy. "Now. You are ready for this," and he extended a palm glowing with magical light. The newly-named Shaoron stood straight, and closed his eyes, willing his mind to open to the memories whose floodgates had now opened.

_He was a young boy, shyly watching the Princess. He was learning languages by his father's side. He was playing with the Princess, learning to laugh and smile. He was by her side as she lost her feathers. They began to travel...and he learned to love her even more._

_And then came the country of magic where he'd begun to lose track of time...and the handsome vampire who nearly killed him in a country that was the wreckage of the Tokyo he now lived in._

_Then Shaoron realized he was seeing other memories. The poor clone Princess, searching for him, fighting across worlds, getting impaled, and finally, being bloodied by the thing that was now in his body._

"_I will get it back. Your lost heart, Syaoran-kun," the battered girl, cradling a strange egg, wept as she thought he was still somehow in the body now occupied by the monster._

_I will find you, Shaoron vowed. I will always come back to you..._

And Eriol watched proudly as his son struggled with his memories, yet stayed upright throughout his battle.

Now Shaoron was ready for the fight of his life.

He could only pray that Sakura and Syaoran would be, too.

* * *

**Preview of Chapter 10:**

"_You...bastard..." Touya snarled, and with a lightning-fast move, he slammed Syaoran into the wall next to the foyer of their house. Syaoran choked; it wasn't the reception he was expecting._

"_What are you doing?" Syaoran asked angrily. "I came here to see if you were related to my fiancee!"_

"_And where the hell have you been hiding her all these years? Huh? What happened to her? What have you done to her?" Touya raised a fist and hauled backwards._

_The blow never landed._

_Acting from his long-neglected martial arts skills, Syaoran managed to wriggle free of Touya's grasp and dodge the hit. He glared back at Touya._

"_What the hell are you talking about? I only met Sakura a few months ago!"_

"_Liar," Touya hissed. "You goddamned liar!" But this time, when he aimed a fist in Syaoran's direction, Syaoran caught it in his own._

"_I take it you **are **related to her. But if you won't listen to reason...at least listen to Sakura," Syaoran said quietly. "She has missed you and your father. She...she wants to walk down the aisle with one of you to give her away."_

"_You're marrying her? You have no right!" Touya bellowed. "Do you know what you did to her? Do you?"_

"_What the hell are you talking about?" Syaoran roared, at the end of his patience._

"_You caused her to fail the Final Judgment, you moron!"_

"_That's enough," a soft yet authoritative voice said. Touya and Syaoran turned to the source of the voice, and Touya gasped._

_0-0-0_

Thanks again to: **SakuraLover** (Haha, hang on re the lemons! SxS have to go through some angst first! And thank you for the PM and email!); **Pipi-chan** (Aw, you know me WAY too well. See ya and lub ya too!); **mizu-dreamsxx** (Well, Tomoyo is sexy and single here since Eriol has Kaho. Let's just say SxS are in the throes of new love, and if you could see the new couples I know…gah at least SxS DON"T do it in public, euw); **Musette Fujiwara** (Now you know his name! Always considered Kurogane a male Mei Ling so who better to bring out her old personality? XD); **Cheeseycraziness** (Hello, you give me awesome ideas and advice ALL the time, you and parma both! And I agree, that was a funny line!); **lhaine07** (recycled since I didn't print it XD thanks for noticing the emotion!); **xXxCherryBlossomxXx** (Argh I owe you Ch 13, hang on! Sorry! Of course Tomoyo rocks, I love her! You hit on it: how Sakura reacts to Syaoran's confession here has serious implications on what happens later XD); **Sakura Petal Wings** (I lovelovelove the name! A day late but here's the update!); C. Babe (Coming soon!); Raine793 (aw thanks, sorry this is a bit late! Not Fai!); **Hououza** (I really appreciate your PM and your review! Yes, a crossover of sorts, but the focus is still on SxS. Thank you so much!); **rondallagurl **(aw! Hope you enjoy this one too, and thanks so much for your PMs!); **whitewave16** (Really? Been wondering if anyone is interested in his story thanks!); **AngelEmCuti** (LOL how true! Free tissue for figuring me out LOL!); iNuQTpIe (You were right!); **-siarafaerie-101-miss; meow-mix23**; **Mystic Moon Empress** (yes!); **dbzgtfan2004**; **chibiNeko192** (Yes, and the other one is currently the enemy in TRC ); **saphirablossom** (It's perfectly fine! yes he is, and the Cardcaptor Shaoron will know that the clone Princess nearly died because of him. Poor boy…guilt trip! Thanks, by the way!); and **blackmailer26** (calm down, here it is LOL)


	11. Of Love and Light

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 10**

**Author's note: **With Dark Butterfly's permission, I have posted a link to her site to show you what the adult SxS look like. Her art is sensual and lovely! Leave a comment if you can! It also includes a magnificent rendering of their first time to love each other (mature viewers only)--what I had in mind for chapter 7. The link is in my profile; scroll down for "If you want to see art".

Also, this is a **LONG** chapter; you've been warned! You can expect an update on or before August 31, and I can promise this because I have begun on Chapter 11 already.

* * *

**Coming Back**

_Shaoron opened his eyes. It had been a struggle to stay on his feet; the memories of love and adventure and friendship and, finally, the day he lost his battle with the monster that shared his body...they nearly overwhelmed him, but he knew he had to understand them to be strong._

_He had almost died that day; when the vampire he was battling had slashed his throat and tried to drain his blood, Shaoron had felt his spirit failing, and his dying thoughts were of regret that he had failed his beloved Princess Sakura. Who would protect her now?_

_And when he saw what she had gone through after he had disappeared...she had almost lost the use of one leg when she retrieved a powerful egg to pay for the havoc wrought on an underground reservoir by the monster and the boy he now knew he had been cloned from. She had become hard, and sorrowful; his heart ached for her when she was injured, then finally almost killed likewise in a dream world by the monster in his body._

_Yet through it all she still loved him. Mistaking the thing in his body for him, she accepted the pain. And when Eriol cast the illusion that saved the clone Princess' soul and moved her into the dream world Sakura Kinomoto used to live in, Shaoron wept for joy; she was still alive somewhere, waiting for him to come to her. The removal of her memories was a great kindness._

_But then he came back. His memories had been suppressed to give him the chance to grow up again, and he had been given a gift of immeasurable value: parents who loved him. Eriol and Kaho had raised him as a true son, and to this day, he knew they loved him._

_And he understood what drew him to Syaoran and Sakura now: he had originally been cloned from the son Sakura would bear Syaoran someday. He had evolved from a fragment of that boy's heart, and become his own person. And he __now had a mission: to prevent the monster who now inhabited his body from killing either Sakura or Syaoran—because they were the only keys he had to find the girl he still loved...the lovely red-brown-haired cloned princess who shared Sakura's name._

_He looked at his father Eriol, and smiled. "So your other half raised me first. I have been twice blessed," he said gratefully._

"_No, it is we who have been blessed to have you," Eriol smiled. "Now you choose your own path. And depending on what you choose, I will have one last gift to give you."_

"_I will protect Li-san and Kinomoto-san, and learn what I can from them," Shaoron said._

_Eriol was unable to prevent a sigh from escaping him. Again, Shaoron had chosen according to the path to salvation that Eriol had foreseen. "Then...accept the power I shall infuse into you, my son," and his palm glowed with a purple light. _

"_Father no! What if...he...comes after you?"_

"_He won't. You know who he will come for. I am inconsequential to him," Eriol said calmly. "I am not a key part of the dream his master is trying to revive._

"_I was afraid of that," Shaoron said softly. "I don't understand what that man's purpose is...he destroyed so many lives, so many hearts...even the lost boy who is now in my body, even though I know I must dispose of him, I feel sorry for him."_

"_Be especially careful that he does not find Sakura-san," Eriol warned prior to touching palms with his son. "You know he wants her in a certain way. If he fulfills his lusts on her, she...Her heart is strong, but if he forces himself on her repeatedly, succeeds in impregnating her, and kills Li Syaoran—and remember, my son, Syaoran does not have full access to his powers so he may die—the nameless one may just be able to break her."_

"_I won't let him," Shaoran vowed, then smiled. "I suspect though that she'll be the first to defend herself from him. She has strengths even she is unaware of."_

_Eriol smiled. "I believe in her, and I'm sure everyone who loves her does too."_

* * *

**Warnings**

It had been a week since Sakura and Syaoran had moved in together; he insisted that she keep her old house intact instead of renting it out, so all they had moved were some of her things and clothes. Secretly he hoped that retaining the house would help Sakura regain her memories somehow.

At work, he was managing the transition to making Mei Ling the new CEO of the Li Financial Group, a move that had sent shock waves through the Hong Kong financial community. He was also laying the groundwork for a branch office in Tokyo, where he intended to settle down with Sakura. Mei Ling had been completely floored, but when Syaoran had calmly told her that he wanted a normal life with Sakura in Japan, she smiled.

"Gods, I ought to light incense in front of this Sakura," Mei Ling joked. "She made you human!"

Syaoran chuckled. "I was that bad?"

"Yes," Mei Ling said honestly.

"Then I apologize. I should apologize to my exes as well," he said thoughtfully.

"Now that's going overboard," Mei Ling said seriously. "They have moved on, even Hana," and she watched as Syaoran flinched at the mention of her name. Hana was the one he'd come closest to loving, and the one who had fallen apart and nearly committed suicide when he'd left her. "If you must, don't do it personally. Just send flowers and an 'I'm sorry' note or something discreet. Don't make it look like you're trying to win them back."

"Sakura...when I told her about my exes, she was so worried about how they felt," Syaoran sighed. "She made me promise to apologize to them."

"Ah," and Mei Ling smiled. How so like the woman who had tamed her cold, cynical cousin to be concerned about those he had hurt in the past. "Look. Let me think of the best way for you to say sorry without appearing to them personally, because I know at least one ex who would like to emasculate you. Okay?"

"Where would I be without you, Mei Ling?" Syaoran smiled. "Come have dinner with me and Sakura sometime. She makes the best pasta."

"Of course! I want to meet this miracle worker," Mei Ling laughed.

"That she is," Syaoran grinned.

"Ah. The hunter was captured by his prey," she smirked.

"No," Syaoran said, "I've found my home in her." Mei Ling threw her head back and laughed, then hugged Syaoran. For the first time he did not shake her off angrily; instead, he hugged her back, then kissed her cheek.

"I do need to ask you another favor," he said.

"Go on," Mei Ling waited.

"Sakura and I are moving back to Li Manor for the meantime. I'm leaving for Japan on Monday. I asked Daidouji, her friend, to stay with her there. I also asked Mother to keep an eye on her. I'm also going to ask you to make sure she's okay," Syaoran said.

"Okay," Mei Ling said. Inwardly though she worried; she'd been having dreams with three Syaorans of different ages. The first was the Syaoran she knew. The second was a teenaged boy who resembled Syaoran greatly if with thicker but lighter hair, a scarred body, with one blue and one brown eye, and a violent aura. The youngest looked almost as Syaoran did at the age of sixteen.

The "Syaoran" with the mismatched eyes always killed the other two Syaorans in her dreams, then turned to hunt someone else...a woman...down. And that woman was always Sakura, and Mei Ling would wake up screaming when the monstrous "Syaoran" began to force himself on Sakura.

"Do you have to go to Japan?" Mei Ling asked. It was in Japan that the danger was worst for Syaoran.

"I do. It's for Sakura...I think her family is still alive."

"Will she go with you?"

"No," and Syaoran looked somewhat perturbed. "I sense danger for her there, which is why I'm keeping her at home. Mother is strong enough to protect Sakura."

Mei Ling smiled. "Knowing you, you will have chosen someone who can protect herself. But I will keep an eye on her. I want to get to know her anyway."

"Thank you, Mei Ling. For everything," Syaoran said.

"Go on, go home to your little wife, and try not to get her pregnant before your wedding," Mei Ling smirked. "Take care."

As Syaoran left the office, he could feel a pair of eyes watching him..._**hating **_him. He looked around, allowing his senses to reach out, but nothing presented itself to him.

He was looking for a human...which was why he never saw the black butterfly perched near his limousine.

* * *

**Nesting**

Syaoran was always thrilled each time he came home to find Sakura opening the door for him, a hot meal ready and a loving kiss. He was, at first, unhappy with the arrangement; he didn't want Sakura to be just another housewife waiting for him to come home. He didn't count on the fact that she was not an ordinary housewife at all, but was so happy at the prospect of having someone to take care of. So Sakura refused to let Syaoran hire a maid (with mock pouts and playful resisting of his advances at night in bed—though not for long), and happily pottered around the house while writing articles for the new magazine she'd been hired as a freelancer for. She also spent her time shopping and decorating the house with Tomoyo, whom she had drawn close to quickly.

He watched the two women act as silly as sisters during a sleepover. Watching Sakura so happy and content made Syaoran happy as well.

Tomoyo had insisted on redoing Sakura's wardrobe; when Sakura had initially resisted, balking at the cost, she had gotten Syaoran to help her convince Sakura to agree to a makeover. And so masseuses, beauticians, and cooking trainers invaded the penthouse condominium, teaching Sakura how to fix herself up, highlighting and restyling her hair, shaping her eyebrows, giving her body scrubs, massages, and skin treatments, and showing her how to make Syaoran's favorite food.

And to both Syaoran's and Tomoyo's delight, Sakura became even more beautiful; not like an angel come to earth, not like a fairy princess...just ethereally gorgeous in her own way. Her auburn hair had grown out into loose delicate waves like those of her mother, yet two loose strands (that Syaoran loved to twine around his finger) that refused to grow out hung under her chin in delicate tendrils. She was still slender but gently curved; her rosy cheeks attested to her good health, and she swam everyday in the condominium's pool and danced when the mood and the music overcame her. Sakura was happier than she'd ever been in her life, and Syaoran rejoiced each time she flung herself into his arms when he came home.

The only cloud on the horizon was that sometimes, he had the feeling they were being watched, but Syaoran could never trace it. He could not sense who or what it was, and his reaction was to make sure Sakura was rarely alone, and to post guards outside and around their penthouse.

Little did he realize that the danger was to himself, not to her.

Syaoran realized he had changed so much since Sakura had come into his life. He was grateful that despite his impulsiveness, his inability to wait when it came to her, he had been blessed to have her by his side. He fully intended to savor every moment; he'd never been good at expressing his feelings so he decided to just let their moments be.

Now that he acknowledged the existence of magic, he was determined to regain his memories. He'd removed his sword from the Li armory, and brought it home—to his new home with Sakura. He was surprised at how it fitted perfectly into his hands, despite the years...and how it was still longer than his reach. An experimental swing told him that the heft and balance was still perfect. He clearly remembered it was three feet long when he trained with it as a child four feet tall, and now it was nearly four and a half feet long as he had grown to five foot ten. The red tassel still looked as new as when he'd first received it when he was eight.

_**It's magical. **_Admitting that did not come easily to him, but he was prepared to accept anything, explore any possibility now for Sakura's sake.

The movements came back to him easily: the forms, the various poses, how to heft the sword. He quickly ran through the opening stances for a duel, and suddenly had a memory: _of himself crouching on the ground, a...card?...under the tip of his sword, and himself calling out, "Time!"_

"Jian," Sakura suddenly said, as she leaned against the doorway.

"What?" Syaoran turned and wiped off the sweat that had beaded on his forehead.

"Your sword. You called it Jian," Sakura said, looking confused herself. "And...you had a green costume with bells on the, er, tails. And you can turn it into a pendant of some kind with your thoughts."

"Sakura..." Syaoran realized she was beginning to remember as well. He decided to talk to her about it later, and smiled at her instead. "You're right. That's what it's called. And I had a ceremonial costume as a child. I don't know about turning it into a pendant though. It's good you remember that."

"Syaoran...I have to remember!" She clenched her fists. "I **hate **not knowing! I know we're connected, that we were brought together for a reason. But I don't know _**why**_!"

Syaoran quickly crossed the living room to hug her. "It's okay, sweetheart. You will remember in time. Don't force the issue." He held her in one arm, the other holding his sword away from her carefully.

Sakura nodded, but still had the determined look on her face. She knew her memories were the key. She knew Syaoran knew, and he was trying to protect her by not talking about it. It was another reason why she loved him; he tried to protect her, always, to do what he felt would be best for her.

_**But I can't always be his helpless little princess, **_she thought. Sakura had never been the kept woman type; her years of living alone had taught her to make do and to do-it-yourself. So when she began to realize that Syaoran—and even Tomoyo—were apparently trying to protect her from her memories, then she decided to explore them.

It wasn't easy; she would make her attempts when Syaoran was asleep or at work. She would get dizzy; twice, she had passed out, luckily waking up before Syaoran came home or woke up. But she was a determined person, and little by little she saw fragments.

"_Oh Key that hides the power of..." _Power of what?How many times did she repeat that incantation?

"_Kero-chan! You eat like a pig," she scolded a tiny creature with wings, which sassed back, "I'm doing this for everybody!" _That name again!

"Oooh the monster has gotten fat," _her brother Touya taunted. _"I have not!" _Sakura screeched angrily. _"Well, it's the only explanation for why you're so short," _Touya smirked, and placed his tea mug on top of her head as she flailed angrily. _"Oooh when I get bigger I am going to step...on...YOU!" Sakura smiled; at last, a true memory of her brother.

"Sakura-san, it's all right. We'll work together to reconstruct the papers," _her father said gently as she wept over the laptop computer she had accidentally shorted out. His kind eyes, his ability to understand, everything he did for her..._Sakura felt a tear roll down her cheek at the memory of her father.

_A warm hand was pressed on her brow as she was feverish; a beautiful woman with green eyes like her own was smiling soothingly; the pain of the fever began to recede. Mother!_

_A much younger Tomoyo, her beautiful violet eyes soft and gentle, teased Sakura: Someone likes you. "Who is it?" Sakura asked eagerly. "Oh...a secret admirer," and she had looked at someone behind them. Then Tomoyo had taken her hands and said, "Sakura, I love you as my sister. Thank you for letting me into your life." And Sakura's eyes had opened wide. "But you are my sister, practically; we're cousins, and you're my best friend in the whole world and I love you too, to bits!" Tomoyo had blushed happily, then said, "I hope he makes you happy." _

And Sakura suddenly realized Tomoyo was referring to a very young Syaoran. Had he loved her even back then?

_Most interesting of all: a young Syaoran in her memories. He was her age, and he was blushing as he held her gently. "Don't cry," he said in a voice meant to be rough, but which was nonetheless gentle. "Concentrate on finding the aura." His hands on her shoulders were soothing and comforting, and she wiped her tears away and nodded. He smiled slightly back at her, a smile that said, 'Good girl.'_

Sakura had secretly put together a list of her memories and noticed the inconsistencies. Some memories which appeared persistently told her that her mother had died when she was three, she had not seen her father and Touya since she was eleven, and Tomoyo was closer to her than she thought.

Others which appeared to her only once showed her mother with her until high school. Touya had gone to Tokyo University to become a doctor...no, an architect? And her father was in the United States? Those memories only appeared once then vanished. She concluded they were false memories.

_**It's like my memories are covered by a veil of lies somewhere, and I just have to somehow peel it off, **_she thought.

Strange things also happened around her and Syaoran. When they made love, she'd thought she'd imagined it at first, but when they moved in together, she saw: Syaoran would sometimes glow with a soft green light, and she would be surrounded with a pinkish glow, especially when they were very aroused. Their auras sometimes would blend into a reddish-gold glow, and the combined light seemed to repel something dark that hovered on the edge of their consciousness.

Also, the other day, in the kitchen of their new home, she had been chopping up spring onions when she'd been distracted by a loud noise from one of the units below theirs, and accidentally sliced two of her fingers. She'd cried out and held one finger up—the one with the deeper cut—to squeeze out the blood before she cleaned up the cut...which never came. Once Sakura had passed a soothing finger over the cut, it had felt warm, then suddenly healed up.

She held her finger up. _I definitely sliced it open, it was fairly deep! _She thought. Yet save for a small red line which was quickly fading, there was no trace of the cut now. The red line faded into a little white line of peeling skin when she passed another finger over it experimentally. Sakura touched her finger gingerly, peeling off the skin. Nothing.

Sakura curiously passed her hand over the other wounded finger, concentrating as she did. Her wound felt warm again, and she felt the bleeding stop. Again, when she washed off the blood, there was merely a thin red line; she placed a finger over it, and watched carefully. There was a tiny burst of light, then her wound sealed up completely.

_**Magic. I have magic, **_she realized. When to tell Syaoran about it though...that was what she was unsure of...and she abruptly returned to the present, seeing Syaoran peering at her worriedly.

"Sakura..." Syaoran hesitated briefly, then said, "I...nothing." He sighed; he knew what the look on her face meant, and that it was useless to argue with her. After kissing her gently, continued to practice his forms. She watched him, delighted; his muscles flowed with his movements, and she wanted to touch him, to stroke his body...to delight in him...there would be time for that later; they made love practically every night anyway.

She blushed. Syaoran was clearly happiest when they were together, and his ecstasies were reserved for when he was clasped inside her secret place. Her memories of his hand on her breast, his lips on her secret place, him thrusting inside of her as he whispered of his love for her, his kisses, the passion in his eyes...she shuddered, remembering the joy she felt whenever he made love to her, and smiled. He had saved her from a world of loneliness, and given her love.

She had no idea that each time they made love, he drew strength from how much she loved him, and learned how to forgive himself a little more for an offense he had no knowledge of...yet. And, more importantly, the memory of their love would sustain him for a terrible ordeal he would soon undergo for her.

Syaoran saw Sakura's smile and knew he was turning her on, so he began to increase the speed and complexity of his movements to tease her. Spells came to mind: _Raitei Shourai, Fuuka Shourai, Kashin Shourai_...he mouthed the last one, and was completely shocked when he accidentally set a portion of their living room on fire. His sword slipped, and nicked him on the thigh; he ignored the pain and went for a fire extinguisher to kill the flames.

"How did you..." Sakura asked as she turned on the exhaust fan and opened some windows to let the smoke out.

"I don't know...but..." Syaoran sat down, wincing as he did, and held his thigh. Flesh wound...but it hurt and was a bit deep. He opened the rip in his sweatpants, and inspected the wound. "Sweet blossom, I'll need to get stitches. Please call the driver...what are you doing?"

Sakura sat beside him, and said, "Let me try this, Syao-wolf." She passed her hands slowly over his wound. Syaoran gasped; the sensation was warm, and he felt the bleeding stop, to his surprise.

"A little more," Sakura screwed up her face in concentration, and repeated the process two more times. Syaoran could feel the skin close up, and all that was left was an itchy sensation, the kind that came when a wound had healed. He looked down; there wasn't even a scar, just some skin peeling off, the way it did from a healed wound.

"Okay. My turn to say, how did you do that?" Syaoran said softly.

"I don't know." Sakura leaned on Syaoran; it had tired her out. As she rested, she decided to tell Syaoran what she had been doing to recover her memories. There was an incredulous look on his face; _**how could she have been so reckless? **_Yet while Syaoran was unhappy that she had hurt herself by trying to remember, he was also relieved that she had. He stood up gingerly; it was as if he hadn't been hurt, the wound had healed so well.

"Come to the roof with me," Syaoran took Sakura's hand, and they went up to the roof of their penthouse.

Syaoran left Sakura standing a safe distance away before he raised his sword, and said clearly, "Raitei shourai!" then braced himself.

A bolt of lightning issued from Syaoran's sword and struck the lightning rod of the building across them. Sakura gasped, and Syaoran nodded.

"Sweet blossom," he said as he walked over to her. "We both have a lot of questions. I need to go back to Japan after our engagement ceremony."

Sakura quickly grasped what he was thining. "People you need to talk to are there."

"I think I can find some answers there...about you. But you need to stay here because I think...I've had a premonition that it may not be safe for you. I'll make arrangements for you to stay with my mother and Mei Ling at the mansion. I'd invite Tomoyo too if I were you, and I'll see if I can talk to our clan elders."

"You don't have to protect me," Sakura began. "I want to go with you. I'm not going to wait here like some useless little..." and she was silenced by a tender kiss. She surrendered easily, and Syaoran kissed her for several breathless seconds,

"Please," and Syaoran enfolded her into his arms. "I just know something terrible happened to you in the past, and I never, ever want to lose you. Please. For me," and he kissed her gently.

"But Syaoran..." Again he kissed her, and smiled.

"You can't defend yourself," Syaoran pointed out calmly. "You know no martial arts nor spells, just this ability to heal which you haven't mastered yet, given how much it took out of you. I don't know what your powers really are, and until we do, I can't just leave you alone."

Sakura sighed. As always, he was right. "I hate being helpless," she grumbled.

"You're not, Sakura," Syaoran said vehemently. "You're just vulnerable. There's a difference, little blossom. And...I think my mother can help you with your magic. She can take you to our elders and have them guide you."

"Promise you will come home to me immediately," Sakura asked.

"I promise, as soon as I can." What he would have to do to keep that promise, Syaoran had no idea yet.

"Good for me. I know you keep your promises," and Sakura smiled as she kissed him again.

* * *

**The Unsensed Evil, 1**

_On the rooftop across them, a young man of about eighteen watched the lovers intently with mismatched eyes. The Li heir's magic was returning, yes, but it was not enough; he would have to wait to steal it. And there was the matter of finding the source of Li's power. It wasn't the sword...it wasn't his eyes...there seemed to be no seat to it. He would have to find out soon if he was to take Li's powers from him. __Perhaps his heart?_

_As for the Kinomoto woman...his instructions were clear. _Do not kill her unless it is necessary to prevent the birth of her son by Li. Even then, try to make her miscarry instead. No unnecessary deaths, as you may ruin my plans if you kill one or both.

_But he felt a lustful stirring for her as well. Perhaps he could drain her of power as well—she had a strange power, one he could not understand—and then enjoy her body the way Li did. She was very beautiful, and when he'd watched Kinomoto and Li make love the previous night, he'd felt a pull and stirring in his loins when he'd seen her naked._

_He had body memories of occasional kisses and caresses from the princess beloved by the boy he'd once shared his body with. But this woman...Clothes normally covered the parts he was most interested in. When Li uncovered his soon-to-be-wife's body, the boy's body responded; he felt a swelling in his loins when she was naked. His memories of the young Princess who had mistaken him for the boy she loved were innocent; what he had seen of Li and Kinomoto though...he wanted to do all those things to her and have her respond the same way._

_He watched how she'd responded passionately to Li's caresses and kisses. It was easy to imagine himself as Kinomoto's lover when Li caressed and fondled her; he after all resembled Li greatly. It was he who touched and fondled her breasts as she gave him pleasure by taking his manhood into her mouth; it was he who parted her thighs and gently licked at the small folds there; it was he who planted love bites on her shoulders and breasts as he prepared to thrust into her. And when Li had entered Kinomoto and was making passionate love to her, he found his own pleasure seeing himself being the one doing it to her, eliciting the moans and sounds of pleasure from the young woman._

_Once he captured that magical butterfly that was menacing Li and forcibly bent it to his will with his stolen magic, he would have what he needed to separate Li from her. Though his powers at this point could overcome Li's own, it would never do to underestimate Li. The green glow that surrounded him when he made love to Kinomoto was an indication of some strange, dangerous power. Better to trap Li first and make sure he could not save Kinomoto. Then she would be helpless, and ripe for the picking. He would be able to do anything he wanted with her...and the thought pleased him as he imagined her naked body writhing under his own as he took his pleasure in her._

_All he needed to do was find the boy who was the previous owner of his body, and destroy that boy. How that boy—the one once known as "Syaoran" who had lived in Clow country—had survived death in Tokyo was a mystery, but he was determined to kill the boy by any means possible. Once that "Syaoran" died, no one would stand in the way of the taking of the Kinomoto woman, and the fulfillment of his master's orders...beginning with the prevention of the birth of Li and Kinomoto's eldest son._

* * *

**Union**

The morning of Sakura and Syaoran's engagement ceremony day dawned bright and clear despite the constant threat of rain. Both Sakura and Syaoran dressed in traditional outfits for the ceremony: him in green and red, her in very light pink and lavender.

"Ready?" Syaoran asked as they sat in his limousine. He looked over at Sakura; she was lovely, even without any makeup—radiant eyes, flushed cheeks, rosy lips. Again he thanked whatever gods there were that she was his now. Forever.

He knew something was threatening Sakura, but he wasn't sure what it was. Mystical powers, he now knew, protected the Li mansion, and he felt she would be safer there than in Japan, where he could feel a strong threat. He'd arranged to have his old bedroom cleaned and readied for Sakura and for himself as they stayed there prior to their wedding day. But it was also there that he knew he could start to find answers about Sakura's past—beginning with her family.

"Of course," Sakura smiled. They shared a soft kiss, both hearts swelling at the prospect of their union. They spent the ride to Li Manor in each other's arms, kissing softly and gently.

_Neither of them noticed the black butterfly that followed them. Nor did they notice someone watching them from a distance, someone with mismatched eyes who watched Sakura with a terrifying lust. Her power was unusual to him, and he was very interested in taking it from her._

_And taking her away from the Li heir as well, enjoying her the way Li did. _

Sakura rested her head on Syaoran's chest, feeling as if the world was safely at bay. He was her world now, and he made her feel safe. Not that she'd ever really had reason to be scared; her life had been quiet and content...if a bit confusing. At the edge of her awareness she could feel something menacing, but she could not figure out what it was. Syaoran's embrace made her feel safe, and she stayed there, content and happy.

Syaoran had scheduled his return to Tomoeda on the Monday after their engagement. He wanted to spend their first weekend as a formally engaged couple together. Yet something was giving him an urgent warning sense. He couldn't pick the warning apart, even when he tried, but it was something about Tomoeda...

"Syao-wolf?" Sakura looked up at him, breaking his thoughts. "Are you okay?" They had arrived at Li Manor on Victoria Peak, a community reserved only for Hong Kong's wealthiest.

He smiled at her reassuringly, and took her hand to help her out. His Clan was lined along the expansive driveway, and gasps came from the women as Sakura came out. Murmurs of "No wonder he chose her. Look at how beautiful she is!" and, "Nothing but the best for the Li heir—no wonder he waited so long," could be heard. Sakura blushed, and Syaoran put an arm over her affectionately. "It's okay, sweet blossom," he whispered in her ear and kissed her quickly, reassuringly.

The display of affection did not escape the eagle-eyed Yelan Li, who smiled. Sakura was utterly beautiful; she had clearly blossomed thanks to Syaoran's love and care. She had grown into an ethereally beautiful woman, and yet...Yelan could sense her strength under her deceptively small body. _**Thank the gods, **_she thought. _**She will need it to be his wife, and to face what may lie ahead for them.**_

And there was something else she sensed: menace, aimed at Sakura and Syaoran. She could feel greed for Syaoran's powers and lust for Sakura emanating from an extremely powerful source. Yelan made a mental note to reinforce the mystical defenses around the Li Manor that evening, and she intended to ask for someone's help.

Mei Ling, on the other hand, had to excuse herself. She'd seen the girl before at the office; why was Sakura affecting her this way now? Things were tugging on her consciousness, and she was impelled to a secret corner of her small but luxurious home in the Li estate.

"_Hands off! He's MY fiance!" she heard herself say as she blocked Syaoran off from a younger Sakura, who looked completely confused._

_And she saw herself pouncing on a clearly irritated Syaoran several times. She also saw how Sakura used to stare adoringly at Yukito just as Syaoran stared at her with...was it love?...in his eyes._

_A school play, in which she wished Syaoran were the prince and she were the princess. Scolding Sakura for hugging Syaoran onstage._

_And finally, sleeping over at Sakura's home and telling her how her engagement to Syaoran had come about. Sakura's sympathetic green eyes, as she said, "You must really love him."_

Mei Ling almost laughed; _**I really did love him once? **_It was almost hilarious; she could not imagine herself with Syaoran.

But that girl...Mei Ling grabbed a dusty old box from a shelf, and it toppled to the floor. Inside was the remnant of a ceremonial green costume with a white tunic and long belled sleeves. Syaoran's old costume, the one she had rescued from the trash so long ago.

And out of it rolled a little pink hat.

Syaoran had been clutching it when he came home from Tomoeda sixteen years ago, Mei Ling now remembered. There it was...the proof that there was something in the past that connected them all together

She hurriedly packed them all into a small paper bag, and rushed back to the pavilion where the engagement ceremony was to take place. Mei Ling was just in time; the ritual blessings had just commenced, and Sakura and Syaoran were reciting the traditional phrases. He'd coached her well; her Chinese was accented but correct, and Mei Ling grinned when Sakura said, "Wo ai ni, Li Xiao Lang." Syaoran smiled tenderly and responded, "Wo ai ni, Kinomoto Ying Fa."

How she had changed him! From a cold, arrogant, cunning, and friendless adult, Syaoran was now so much like whom he had used to be: while not overtly friendly, there was something in him...a pure, clean soul.

_**Wishes do come true, **_Mei Ling smiled. _**And he has found her. Perhaps I shall find mine. **_And she joined in the applause as Sakura and Syaoran exchanged their eternity band engagement rings, Syaoran interrupting the ceremony twice to kiss Sakura passionately and Sakura responding eagerly, much to the delight of those assembled. Quite a few Elders, who had made a rare appearance today, cheered as well.

Mei Ling was no innocent; she could tell Syaoran and Sakura were already lovers, but something about how they related to each other felt like a first relationship in many ways. And...

"Daidouji-san?" Mei Ling approached Sakura's sole guest.

"Mei Ling-chan," Tomoyo smiled. "So you remember too. If so, then you should now call me Tomoyo-chan," she said softly.

"I'll do that." Mei Ling smiled and held Tomoyo's hands, sisters in thwarted loves. "Hm. Looks like the only persons left who have to regain their memories are," and Mei Ling indicated Sakura and Syaoran with her eyes, "them."

"I am worried about that," Tomoyo said. "I do not know if they will be safe once they regain their memories."

"You've had that premonition as well," Mei Ling said thoughtfully. "I have dreams these days...I'm not supposed to have magic, and yet...I've been having dreams...disturbing dreams...these days. Let's go somewhere we can talk." Mei Ling led her to a gazebo on the Li mansion grounds. "Here. I found this in my stuff," Mei Ling said, explaining the circumstances under which she had found it. Tomoyo recognized the little pink hat as the one she had made for Sakura, and which Sakura had worn during the Last Judgment.

Tomoyo smiled fondly. "I made this, you know?"

"I remember. I'm surprised you're not making clothes now," Mei Ling said, then grinned. "Thought you'd be a great designer by now...well, you are a great interior designer...although I bet you're making their wedding outfits...Dear me, I'm babbling!" And she began to laugh. Tomoyo laughed, but when they stopped, her expression sobered.

"I think it may be best to keep this," she indicated the clothing, "from them for now," Tomoyo said softly. "The last time Sakura-chan was told anything of the past, she passed out."

"Do you know Syaoran is headed for Tomoeda next week?" Mei Ling asked. "He's trying to find her family."

"Yes, and Sakura asked me to stay here with her," Tomoyo said thoughtfully. "Syaoran insisted that Sakura stay at Li Manor until he returns. I've made arrangements for that already."

"Funny, he asked me to watch over her as well," Mei Ling mused. She fidgeted, wondering whether to tell Tomoyo about her dream of the three Syaorans, but hesitated.

A pause, then, Tomoyo smiled. "You want to tell me something that bothers you. Please, do not hesitate, old friend. I remember when you wrote to me to say 'sorry for making your dress wet,'" she said slyly.

Mei Ling laughed. "You really do remember! Gods, you are so...anyway...okay, it's about my dreams. I keep seeing three Syaorans." She paused to look at Tomoyo, who nodded, encouraging her to continue. "There's Syaoran, the one we know. Another is a teenaged Syaoran, although he doesn't feel like Syaoran used to—he seems so much sweeter and more innocent and gentle. Then is this young man, who looks so like Syaoran, with one blue eye. He has this sword that breathes fire, and he...his magic overwhelms me, and it's just a dream! And Tomoyo-chan, he scares me. In my dreams he always kills the two other Syaorans then he...then he...rapes Sakura..." her voice trailed off in a whisper.

Tomoyo gasped. "No!" They stared at each other, wordlessly agreeing to do what they could to prevent that. "Doesn't make sense. But it is a potent warning, one we should not ignore. Anyone we can talk to, aside from Syaoran?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask Auntie Yelan about that," Mei Ling said. "I'm sure at least one Elder is a dreamseer, or a Dreamreader."

"Please do. I'm worried," Tomoyo said softly.

Back at the festivities, Sakura was experiencing a strange double vision. She could see herself as a younger girl in this very house. And to Syaoran's shock, she recognized his sisters, who happily fell upon her and welcomed her to the family. Syaoran was dragged off by the Li Clan Elders, who proceeded to grill him about her, and his plans for their marriage.

Sakura wandered the gardens as soon as she found some time alone, marveling at their landscaped beauty. Chinese aesthetics had become dear to her ever since she had become aware of living in Hong Kong.

And she could feel the powerful magic permeating every inch of Li Manor. Rather than intimidating her, it made her feel at home, and safe. It was a clean, good magic.

_**You...want you...**_

Sakura turned swiftly. Who was watching her? She scanned the grounds, but saw nothing. She took a deep breath and relaxed; why was she so jumpy? Instead she walked towards an ornamental pond. A fat three-colored cat wearing a red collar came up and brushed against her; she giggled and stroked its fur. "This place is lovely," she breathed.

"I am glad you like it here," came a husky, refined voice. Sakura turned to see Syaoran's magnificently elegant mother Yelan gliding towards her. She could see where Syaoran got his good looks, and she bowed. "You are such a beautiful girl. I," and Yelan touched Sakura's chin gently, "am delighted that he has found you."

"Thank you," Sakura smiled. "But I think I was luckier. I was all alone in the world until he came along."

Yelan smiled, and kissed her cheek. "No. It is you I must thank for changing my son back into the good person he really is."

Sakura gasped. She could see, in a strange double vision, a younger Yelan kissing her cheek and murmuring blessings. "Have we met..." she began. "I know you..."

"We have met; I do not deny it. But I cannot explain to you why and how we met until your memories are complete. If you wish your memories to return," Yelan said softly, "it is up to you."

"Please," Sakura held Yelan's hand, knowing somehow that she could trust the older woman; she could feel the powerful magic in her, "in my memories, I know you somehow. I know there are missing memories...that I, like you, have magic. I remember Syaoran as being my age. Yet I...I have a premonition of disaster," she said. "I don't want Syaoran to go to Tomoeda." Yelan squeezed Sakura's hand reassuringly and was about to speak when someone else did.

"He does what he must," said another voice, deep and male. She looked up to see a dark, handsome, bespectacled man...who looked just like her father had, except with longer, darker bluish-black hair and gunmetal blue-gray eyes that twinkled cheerfully.

"Eriol-san, I present my future daughter-in-law, Kinomoto Sakura," Yelan said. Sakura bowed and smiled.

"What is that Syaoran must do?" Sakura asked.

"To remember...for you. He loves you," Eriol smiled. "He always has."

"Always...but we only met a few months ago...unless my memories are real." Eriol smiled, then as though a veil had been lifted, Sakura quickly noticed the aura of power about Eriol. "You have magic!"

"I do," he said simply. "And I am the one who suppressed your memories. Something happened a long time ago, and your and Syaoran's relationship had to be ended then." Sakura gasped, and Eriol let her recover before he continued. "You were not meant to meet him for a long while yet. But then," and he smiled gently, "he made a wish from the heart for you. Even the removal of your memories did not erase you completely from his heart."

"Please," Sakura begged, "I need to remember. I love him!"

Yelan caught Eriol's eye. This was a dangerous path, letting Sakura regain her memories ahead of Syaoran, one which might expose her to the unnamed monster whom she now sensed was in Hong Kong. But it was also the path that might save the grandchild she had seen in her dreams.

"Sakura-san," Eriol said. "Memories can be dangerous. How you feel about Syaoran may be affected. Do you want that?"

"You doubt my feelings for him?" Sakura drew herself to her full height. "I am sick and tired of being the helpless maiden without memories, the one everyone seeks to protect. I have magic, and I can fight for Syaoran if I have to. If my memories explain why he cannot go to Tomoeda, to my home, then I will have them," she said fiercely.

Yelan smiled an 'I told you so' smile at Eriol, who smiled back. "So be it then. But remember, Sakura...what you do with your memories is no little thing. You will regain more than just memories...past loves, past powers, even. And with the seal on your powers broken, you may attract others with power...who may wish you ill."

"I will do it," Sakura said.

Eriol touched her forehead gently, and images began to pour into Sakura's mind. A book, a seal broken, meeting Cerberus for the first time. Her staff. Her beloved best friend Tomoyo, filming her, making her costumes. Her brother. Yukito—whom she had loved so much, but now she knew that it was a childhood crush, no more...So many memories...all wonderful and happy.

And there was Syaoran! He...and Sakura's heart melted...he had been in love with her even then, though they had not known it. He always told her not to cry, always watched over her...always was there for her. The little things the boy Syaoran did to help her; she saw them now through the eyes of a grown woman.

So when she saw the Final Judgment, she saw a boy who was dying to help her, who could not face life without her.

"Oh Syaoran..." and a tear rolled down her cheek. Contrary to Eriol's fears, even Syaoran's mistake made her love him even more. She felt Yelan's arms supporting her, and she whispered, "He has always loved me."

"He did...and still does," Yelan said gently. "Do not hate him for what he did."

"How can I hate him?" Sakura raised her eyes to Yelan and Eriol. "I love him! He only did that because he loved me!"

Eriol gave a subtle signal to Yelan, and proceeded to ask her harsh questions. "You were trapped in a dream world for years. Your growth was slowed. And yet you can forgive him?"

"He was a boy! You can't punish him for what he did! And I know...how he lived afterwards. He told me. He's punished himself already, don't you see?" Sakura clenched her fists. How dare this man judge her Syaoran so harshly?

"He should have known better. Can you easily forgive the loss of your family?"

Sakura raised her chin and stood closer to Eriol. "He is going to Tomoeda to find them...for me. You tell me what that means," and she smiled defiantly.

"You lost the Last Judgment...lost your friends—Kero, the Cards, Tomoyo—because of him."

Sakura flinched ever so slightly, but replied honestly, "I never felt it—because I had no memories, so I guess that was a blessing in itself. I don't know why but when I grew up in that dream world I was safe and happy...and I believe it was because Syaoran wished it so without knowing it. You can't poison my mind, my heart against him...because I love him," Sakura said quietly. "Our relationship today is what matters, not the past. He's more than paid for what happened."

Eriol suddenly smiled. So many portents of doom, and yet...Sakura's strength of heart gave him hope.

"I told you it wouldn't affect her," Yelan smiled.

"My apologies, Sakura-san. I needed to test the depth of your feelings for him," Eriol said, and he bowed.

"Hoe?" Sakura inclined her head curiously.

"Sakura...I wish I could tell you everything but since you already believe in Syaoran, and love him this much, then I can safely say you will probably ride this out. Just be careful," Eriol warned. "And...believe that love can light even the darkest of nights." He bowed, then took his leave.

"I don't want Syaoran to go to Tomoeda," Sakura said softly.

"I know you don't. You can try talking to him though I doubt he will change his mind."

"I know," Sakura said sadly.

"Come. We're missing tea," Yelan smiled, and reached a hand out to her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. "A word of caution: until Syaoran regains his memories, pray do not discuss this with him."

"I won't," Sakura said, and together, the two women went back into the house. Yelan and Sakura looked back once though...that malevolent aura was there again, though neither could trace it.

* * *

**Light of Love, Light of Hope**

Later, when the bedlam was over, Syaoran carried Sakura up to his old bedroom, and set her on her feet on the balcony. She admired her new eternity band, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind, and placed his chin on her shoulder as he affectionately pressed kisses to her neck.

"Just think...we'll be married on your birthday," Sakura smiled as she nuzzled him. "It's like a fairytale."

"Except this has a happy ending. I love you," Syaoran declared passionately. "I will get to the bottom of your memories, my little blossom, I promise."

"Syao-wolf, what if...maybe I could just try and recover my memories on my own?" Sakura bit her lip in determination. She could not tell him what happened, about her memories, but she could try to keep him away from Tomoeda for a while.

"You can do that. But, promise not to overexert yourself," he cautioned her.

"I won't. But you might not have to go to Tomoeda. I'm worried, Syaoran."

"I'll be all right. Everything will be all right...I believe that because we belong to each other now." He touched his engagement band to hers, then kissed her. "I believe you will always guide me home to you," and he nuzzled her again.

Realizing she could not sway him, Sakura decided not to press the matter. Instead, she remembered...the other day, Syaoran had joined her when Tomoyo had taken her lingerie shopping. He and Sakura had wound up blushing the whole afternoon. Now she decided to tease him a bit.

"I have to wash up a bit. Where's your bathroom?"

Syaoran reluctantly let go of her. "Brown door to the left." She smiled, picked up one of her bags, then went in. He sat down on the bed, and smiled; he'd grown up in this room, and he wanted her to see the child he had been.

After a while, she called to him. "Syao-wolf," Sakura stepped out of his bath, "Does this look good on me?"

He looked, and gasped. On any other woman, the tiny lacy panties and bra would have been an awful, whorish cliché...instead, Sakura looked like an angel who was curious and wanted to learn about a lover's touch.

She smiled at him; she could see the desire in Syaoran's eyes, and she reveled in it. Unbidden, a memory rose to her mind: _she was wearing a cute little costume, and a ten year-old Syaoran—oh how cute he was with such chubby cheeks and his constantly messy hair!--in a Tomoeda uniform blushed to see her. _Seeing the memory with her woman's knowledge, she now knew he had had a childhood crush on her. The sight of her thrilled him.

And now...the sight of her...she decided to take the lead this time. Sakura opened her arms. "Come to me, Syao-wolf," she murmured, and when he came close, she pulled his head down for a kiss. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, and was gratified when he responded passionately, stroking her bare skin with his rough hands.

_Anger filled the boy who was confined to the perimeter of the Li Manor. A barrier was preventing him from coming close, and the best he could do was to scry Li's and Kinomoto's auras from the window of the room they were in. A soft glow alerted him; they were making love again, and this time he could not watch. He growled in frustration—especially when he realized that the more the two made love, the stronger Li and Kinomoto became. He knew they were using protection, but once they were married...they would probably stop...and she would conceive easily, being young and healthy._

_He resolved to redouble his efforts to capture the Dream butterfly as soon as he could. Once Li was gone...Kinomoto's body would belong to him. And a harsh, cruel smile touched his lips._

_Another young boy, Shaoron by name, was scrying for Sakura and Syaoran. He, however, got a clear view of everything—and he could hear every word, every gasp, every breath. Unable to tear his eyes away, reddening in embarrassment, he watched as the two shared each other in the most intimate way possible._

Sakura guided Syaoran's hand into the little lace cup holding her right breast, as her other hand pushed the jacket of his ceremonial cheongsam off him. She kissed his neck, then suddenly sucked hard on the flesh there, leaving a small love bite. Syaoran gasped, and reciprocated as he unhooked her bra and let her breasts fall free. Sakura was no longer ashamed of her body now that she knew that sharing it with him gave him the best pleasure of all. Her hands pulled his tunic off, and he kicked his trousers off, eager to touch her and love her.

He picked her up and carried her to their bed, kissing her all the way. When he laid her down, she sprang up, and mounted his hips, wriggling playfully to tease him. Syaoran smiled; she was learning to tease him, to give him the sensual pleasure. "And where did you learn that, little blossom?" he whispered as he sat up to suckle on her breasts; he knew from experience that she liked it.

"Tomoyo lent me some books," Sakura whispered back, and giggled. Syaoran laughed, a short bark of laughter, and continued to nuzzle her breasts. Only the skimpy lace panty and his boxers separated them now, and he groaned as she rubbed herself against him, giggling. Soon even those were off them, and when Syaoran reached to move Sakura beneath him, she shook her head, and smiled; instead, she slid downwards and took him into her mouth.

"Damn, Sakura, no..." Syaoran hissed; he always became wildly aroused when she did that. But she ignored him and continued to move her mouth along the length of his hardness. With a motion, she switched the lights off; magic was coming easier to her now that she was aware of it. Syaoran began to move his hips up and down, and when she felt he was at his hardest, she raised herself off him.

"Look, Syao-wolf," Sakura touched Syaoran's cheek, "see that glow you're giving off?"

Syaoran opened his eyes. She had somehow shut the lights, and he could see what she meant; a soft green glow surrounded his body.

"It only comes when you really want me," she whispered.

He smiled, then rose and began to kiss her passionately, his hands fondling her breasts, trailing downwards to her little rose. She began to pant in his arms, whimpering "Oh Syao...oh Syaoran..." Syaoran thrilled to the sound of her voice; when they made love it became huskier, and he could hear the passion in her voice. He gently laid her back on the bed and began to lick at her gently; he knew she liked him to start slow, circling her pleasure bud with teasing featherlight touches, then to end up using hard and fast thrusts of his tongue in her...which was what he did, and when she began to come, he kept his tongue inside her, feeling her insides contract with each delicious spasm.

Then he noticed her skin was warmer. As he looked at Sakura, he could see her glowing pink. He raised himself to kiss her. "What does it mean?"

Instead of responding, she mounted his hips and guided his hardness into herself. Closing her eyes, she savored the feel of him inside her. Sakura began to move her hips back and forth slowly, then she bent down to say, "I don't know. But it only happens when we make love." She urged him to thrust upwards into her, and he obeyed; both of them sighed in pleasure, and Syaoran picked up the pace of his thrusts into her. It felt so good, so warm inside her body, and she bent down and kissed him.

"Open your eyes," Sakura said, when she gauged that he was already highly aroused, based on the hard thrusts he was now making into her as she sat astride him. The green and pink glows had blended into a strange reddish hue, and as they continued to make love unhurriedly and tenderly, it lit up the room.

"Beautiful," Syaoran said, then he closed his eyes, and grasped Sakura's hips; he wiggled his hips in a way he knew pleasured her, and he heard her giggle, then sigh. He continued moving her above him, and opened his eyes; she was so beautiful, with her mouth open in a delirious joy from making love with him. Her small nipples were stiff, and as he touched one gently, she gasped; her skin was becoming more and more sensitive to his touch when they were intimate. He raised himself to suckle her nipples as she rode him joyfully. How he loved her, and desired to please her! Once she reached another height of pleasure—he always knew when she had—he rolled over, taking her with him, so that he was on top, then only did he allow himself to reach his own peak, thrusting hard and fast, then erupting into her as his lips claimed hers.

The red glow burst into millions of small globes of light, one of which streaked through the glass of his window, and shot straight at the boy with the mismatched eyes. He dodged it, but his eyes narrowed; what was this now?

Sakura gasped; something hot had erupted inside her, and she realized that she and Syaoran had forgotten to use protection this time. She opened her eyes and smiled; he had not yet realized it, and was still kissing her gently.

"I love you, Syaoran," she whispered in his ear as he leaned on her to catch his breath.

"I love you, Sakura," he responded; he grinned then began to give her butterfly kisses on her nose and lips.

"What would you have done if we'd never met?" she asked.

Syaoran, who was pulling himself out of her, raised an eyebrow. "Interesting question. But honestly," and he drew some tissues from the bedside and handed them to her so she could wipe herself off; it was a sweet, thoughtful gesture he always made after they made love, "I don't know. I'd still be the ass I used to be, I guess. Why ask me that?" he asked curiously, cleaning himself off then lying beside her, pulling her into his arms.

"I believe we were meant to be," she said softly, and kissed him. "Even if we met as children, our relationship now is what matters."

Syaoran smiled. "I believe you," he said as he stroked her cheek. "And if I hadn't found you, I would still be searching for you." He kissed her forehead and began to stroke her back, lulling her into sleep.

_In a house in downtown Hong Kong, Shaoron managed to dispell the scrying spell he'd cast. He was a bit shaken; he'd only intended to search out Sakura and Syaoran so that he could check on them, but he'd been shown how they made love. He did not deny the sensual effect the scene had on him; he could see how much love and emotion went into the couple's lovemaking, and he knew there was a reason why he could not release the spell, so he began to analyze what he had seen._

_He'd heard their conversation and realized that Sakura had her memories now. She had focused on the change in their relationship..._

_Shaoron now realized why he had been allowed to see Sakura and Syaoran's relationship develop; it had changed completely from what it was originally, from childhood crushes to a mature passion. The price he'd paid to save who he now understood was the cloned Princess he had grown to love over the course of his travels through dimensions with her and the ninja Kurogane and the mage Fai...he now understood that there was, after all, a way around it: a change in their relationship._

_Just like the change that had occurred in Sakura's and Syaoran's, he would have to find his Princess, and change their relationship. He blushed, because though he had seen Syaoran and Sakura make love, he was unsure of himself when it came to that._

_But now Shaoron was even more determined to find his Princess Sakura, and he decided to go to Victoria Peak, to visit Li Manor and find out what he could from Sakura Kinomoto and Syaoran Li. _

_And to protect something precious to him._

**X End of chapter 10**

* * *

**Author's notes: **You might be wondering, where's the Touya vs Syaoran scene? (_nara-chan shuffles her feet_) I am so sorry but it had to be moved to Chapter 11. I realize that several things need clearing up and expanding, and so this is why this chapter is over 10,000 words long (whoa). Also since I cannot update more often than once a month (given I have several fics on the go), I made up for it this way.

Special thanks to **CheeseyCraziness **for putting up with my many drafts, questions, and insane ideas. You rock!

If you like my story, you will love her "Watch the Rain Fall," because it is an AMAZING continuation fic for the manga/anime! I know I love it (grins widely). And to **xXxCherryBlossomxXx**, who is sweetness personified and who writes one of the most awesome post-canon fics I have read, "Hoshi no Kodomo". Both of you get the massive hug of doom, LOL!

Also, soon there will be another author who will be writing something off an idea I had; I'll announce it soon!

**THANK YOU:**

**Sakura Lover **(always you are so kind, thank you!) **Mystic Moon Empress **(Definitely sappy but I assure you, now you will learn why! And sorry about the preview but that scene has moved to the next chapter) **lhaine07** (hope this chapter clears things up!) **rondallagurl** (_Na_-flatter _ako sa "grabeh" mo, haha, salamat! _may this chapter clear it up) **midnight blue08 **(blush-thank you! The plot has fairly common elements but I'm glad it works for you, and here's a long chapter to make up for the long updates!) **C.Babe **(Well, er--shuffles feet--I tend to want to make sure the chapters are okay so I take a lot of time writing and rewriting...ask Cheeseycraziness!) **iNuQTpIe **(Yes, it drove me insane too! But I hope you can enjoy this without having to read TRC!) **Magotito-chan **(I have to ask about your pen name--so intriguing haha! And thank you!) **meow-mix23** (thank you!) **karen...**(aw thanks!) **Sakura Petal Wings **(Thank you for understanding! I think I won't take as long this time...unless I decide to rewrite endlessly!) **whitewave16 **(Shaoron--now you know! And...awww when will you update? haha) **Hououza **(Please don't worry about Tsubasa! I hope this makes sense even without knowing it. Now you know who gets his memories back last...) **Pipi-chan **(don't stop, lurv you!) **Keetra **(aw don't kill me yet!) **Musette Fujiwara **(He's a clone of their kid who was re-cloned from Syaoran LOL!) **blue-tempest **(aw thank you!) **Twilight Kisses **(Wai, hi and thanks!) and **winterkaguya **(MORE chemistry here LOL!and thank you so much for the honor! : )


	12. Nightmares and Dream Worlds

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 12**

**Nightmares and Dream Worlds**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.**

**Warning and chapter spoiler: **This chapter took me a long time to upload because of what happens here. Younger readers should stay away from this chapter. There is nothing cute or sexy about rape, and I am not glamorizing it in this chapter, but it is part of the plot. Please do NOT read this if you are offended in any way by adult situations of _**any **_kind.

_My thanks to parma-violets for returning to help shape and revise this chapter and chapter 13 as well! And to CheeseyCraziness and xXxCherryBlossomxXx for putting up with me as I agonized over whether to post this or not._

* * *

**She Who Was Formerly Known as the Princess**

_Her name is Sakura Kinomoto, or so she's been told by her Uncle Eriol, who lives in another country and only comes every now and then to check on her. All she knows is that is the name on her official papers, her school ID, everything the owns._

_But the name feels...wrong. Like she's stolen it from someone else. Like she has somehow usurped someone else's life._

_She feels she should ask more questions, get more answers...but from whom? Uncle Eriol always just gave her cryptic answers which reassured her somehow...until he was gone._

_Yet she is happy, sort of. She has friends. She has a quiet, comfortable life. She knows she should be asking where the food comes from, why she has money, how she can afford college, but once the questions come up, she seems to not want to know the answers to them._

_She is a college student taking up physical therapy. Oh how she struggled on her first few days; she remembered nothing, not even how to write the name she has been told is hers, and somehow all this not knowing was familiar to her...like it's happened before. Yet she struggled through; persevering, she learned the language and caught up with her lessons._

_When she looks in the mirror, she thinks she should have light brown hair like the photos of her as a child. But no, her hair is reddish brown, and it barely grazes her shoulders in a lovely tousled style. Her clear green eyes, high cheekbones, and small lips don't seem to resemble the childhood photos of her strewn about the house. _

_She does not realize that she is quite beautiful, and moves with the grace of a princess. Though she can be clumsy, nonetheless, she drifts through life like a distracted angel. She has never known pain, or sorrow, or injury, though her Uncle Eriol once told her she deserved to rest after all she had been through, though he never could tell her what they were._

"_Someone else will tell you someday, little princess," was what he said._

_Princess...The nickname resonates with her more than "Sakura" ever has. In fact, she sometimes feels she is living someone else's life. There is a Sakura Kinomoto elsewhere, she thinks...and this Sakura is not her. __But where would that Sakura be? And who then is she? Why does she know this?_

_There are photos of her family and they seem...wrong...somehow. She does not know the magnificently beautiful woman with eyes so like her own, nor does she know the dark-haired, gentle-eyed man next to her, though he looks familiar. Only her brother Touya looks familiar._

_She has vague memories of being called "princess" by someone she knows she loved: brown hair, brown eyes. And she dreams of him: he holds her hand, they laugh, he blushes when she is near._

_That evening, she dreams. It is him! He wanders into her house, calling, "Princess?" When she comes out of the kitchen, she feels her breath catch; he is beautiful, and the expression of love in his eyes chases away all fear or doubt._

_And he speaks to her. __"I've finally found you," he says, emotion brimming in every word. "My name is Shaoron," he says gently as he takes her hand. "You once knew me as Syaoran, though." He touches her cheek longingly, tenderly; she can see the love aching in his eyes. "I am so sorry for all you went through."_

_With the other hand, he holds her hand. She thrills to his touch; it is warm. "Shaoron," she repeats. Somehow the name 'Syaoran' seems to suit him better...but he has given his name. It is only politeness for her to give him hers._

_"I think my name is Sakura," she says. "That's what they tell me." She furrows her smooth brow in confusion. He strokes her cheek gently, and she closes her eyes. Shaoron draws her close and leans her against his chest; his scent, his warmth is something she remembers._

_It is awfully forward of him, and he never would have done it had he still been young Syaoran, the archaeologist in Clow, but he is Shaoron now, and this was the girl he was meant to be with...after all, they were both creations. And this was only the first step to changing his relationship with her...and he fully intended to, when the time came, consummate it and complete their long-denied love._

_"I know what you are called," he whispers, as he touches his lips to her forehead. "My Princess," he says. _

_She loves the way he says it. Vaguely in the back of her mind she thinks they shouldn't be this close, this affectionate...but she wants him near—no, she needs him this close._

_"I hope to meet you for real soon. But there are things I must do first. Please, Princess...wait for me," he says gently._

_And when his lips lower onto hers, she finds she has been waiting for this. He kisses her gently, tenderly, like a lover._

_Somehow she knows what to say. "Give me a name," she says softly. "You can't call me Princess forever. Give me your name for me."_

_Shaoron smiles thoughtfully and strokes her hair. "Then Xing Mei, will you wait for me?"_

_"Xing Mei," she repeats. It _**feels **_right. _Beautiful star_...and he smiles when he sees that she understands. It is her name, the one thing that is truly hers in the strange world she inhabits. _

_Again he kisses her, his lips searching hers out, parting them and deepening the kiss. She raises her hands to draw him close, and he places his arms around her waist and draws her near. He has never kissed before, but with her, he knows what she wants: a tender, sweet kiss that lets her know how much she means to him. It is also a promise of love; they belong together._

_She knows why she says, "I love you." Though she does not clearly remember meeting him before today, she knows him, knows why she loves him._

_Close to her ear he says, "I love you too. You know I always have, even when we were children long ago. And I promise I will find my way to you soon, in your world. I promise we will be together." He kisses her one last time and she knows he is leaving, and they cling together, neither wanting to let go._

_Then before Xing Mei knows it, he's gone, and has left her only with two things - the warmth of the memory of his touch, his hand, his kisses, and the warmth of hope...the hope promised by his love. She wants him to stay; all they have are a few sweet moments in her dreams. And she knows he wants to stay; whenever they are torn apart, she can see the agony in his eyes when the dream dissolves and he is gone._

_But there is someone out there for her – him. Because she knows this, Xing Mei feels less alone, now that she knows Shaoron is searching for his way to her. So she waits patiently, trusting in the stars of fate and in his love for her._

* * *

**Halcyon Days**

_(Halcyon days: in a legend, the seas are calm for a few days as two nesting birds lay their eggs in nests built in the waters. The nests, though, never last long, and the security of the bird families is always in doubt.)_

Summer settled on Hong Kong, bringing heat to most of the city save for Victoria Peak, where Sakura and Syaoran now lived with the Lis. Sakura had been taking lessons from her future mother-in-law on controlling her magic. Yelan Li proudly watched as Sakura developed her powers for healing to the extent that she could almost "see" diseases at their most base level in a person, and figure out how to heal them from there.

Her other powers were spotty at best; she could move a few objects if she concentrated, sense auras, and occasionally see the future in her dreams. All she could see now was a boy who looked like Syaoran, with a gentle and pleasant face; his aura combined elements of Syaoran's and her own...Sakura smiled as she told Yelan of this, as she suspected she was dreaming of their future son.

Syaoran, on the other hand, made terrifyingly fast progress in his magic studies, sharpening his wind, water, lightning, and fire attacks while developing telekinesis. He had put his concerns about his missing memories aside; what mattered was getting stronger so that he could protect Sakura.

He knew he was now so much more powerful than he'd been at eleven...and it frustrated him not to be able to move even faster, as he could sense the magic in him racing to a peak, the limits of which he did not yet understand. He wanted to know enough to be able to protect Sakura from whatever was coming; the sense of doom haunted him, though he tried not to let Sakura feel it so that she would not worry.

But he could not be upset for long because Sakura's bliss in preparing for their wedding was infectious. She would hurl herself at him at random times, kiss him suddenly, and make him presents. Best of all were the nights when she would suddenly mount him, tear his clothes off, and make love to him. She was so happy, Syaoran couldn't help but be happy himself.

Delayed from returning to Tomoeda by a few snags in transferring his position to Mei Ling, Syaoran would join Yelan, Mei Ling, and Sakura in the afternoons and early evenings.

Mei Ling's strange lover Kurogane would join them to spar with Syaoran. She and Kurogane often denied their relationship was deeper than friendship, but everyone could feel the sexual tension between the two. Kurogane sublimated his by training Syaoran with the sword, teaching him how to channel magical attacks through it.

She instead focused on trying to annoy Syaoran and Sakura. Syaoran was teaching Sakura sword forms with a lightweight blade, and often they would end up kissing passionately when one pinned the other down in practice skirmishes. Kurogane wound up rolling his eyes, Yelan coughed and discreetly looked away, and Tomoyo would gleefully film the proceedings with her tiny camera. Mei Ling would tease, "Get a room!" and Syaoran took it all in good-natured fun.

In the meantime, Tomoyo, Sakura, and Mei Ling happily prepared for the July wedding, buying fabrics, décor, jewelry, and ordering flowers and other accoutrements. All three happily shared their memories; Mei Ling even got around to playfully teasing Sakura about having "swiped" Syaoran from her; Sakura happily turned the tables by mentioning Kurogane's name, much to Mei Ling's blushing annoyance.

"We do NOT have a relationship," Mei Ling tried to say calmly one morning as Sakura needled her.

Tomoyo indicated Mei Ling's neck with her eyes and Sakura began to giggle.

"What?" When Mei Ling saw where Sakura's eyes were, she turned beet red. "I...we...he didn't! We didn't!"

"Oh so I suppose some other guy gave you that hickey?" Tomoyo teased.

"Yelan is calling us," Mei Ling pulled her collar back up and sailed serenely back into the house as the other two laughed.

Tomoyo and Sakura drew closer together as a result of their restored memories, and both fondly watched Syaoran when he wasn't busy with them.

At home, Sakura pottered about and began to perfect the recipes she and Syaoran both loved; Tomoyo taught her a few more, and so did Mei Ling. This was the way the days had passed since their engagement ceremony, and they were both perfectly happy.

One night, she made a complete Chinese dinner which Syaoran and the rest of the Lis present happily devoured. Tomoyo has been called back to Japan by her mother, and she took her leave after making Mei Ling promise to film for her while she was gone.

The meal, which featured eight courses, had taken Sakura the better half of the day to make. Syaoran appreciated the care and love that had gone into making the meal, and he complimented his little soon-to-be-wife extravagantly and enthusiastically until she blushed.

"Yeah, go on and compliment her," Mei Ling sassed, "because you ate half of dinner."

"Sakura," Yelan was smiling, "why do you insist on doing the chores yourself? Doesn't it tire you out?" she asked curiously.

"But I love taking care of my Syao-wolf," she said earnestly. "I did chores as a kid, and I'd swap out with Touya if I had to and..." She fell silent as Yelan shook her head imperceptibly. Sakura got the message; any more and Syaoran would realize she had her memories back.

Fortunately he had seized another pork shank and was attacking it enthusiastically. "Really good, baby blossom," he said proudly.

Sakura beamed, and Yelan smiled. Syaoran was calmer, more cheerful and sweet these days; he'd even surprised her the other day with a bouquet of flowers. "For being my mother," he'd said, and kissed her on the cheek. It was like someone else was Syaoran, and though she had always loved her son, the change in him was very welcome.

Yelan knew that Sakura and Syaoran made love everyday—who couldn't tell, given the lovely glow that came from their room when they did?--and smiled to think that the future grandson she had foreseen was close to them...in many ways. Still, she could not shake the unpleasant feeling that these halcyon days were but the calm before the storm.

She would not know until it was too late how right she was.

* * *

**Interlude: Premonition**

Kaho welcomed Eriol home to their Tokyo home; the family was united once Shaoron joined them, having failed to find the Dream card in Hong Kong. They shared stories, and speculated about what would happen now that they could all sense the presence of the boy who now had Shaoron's body. They had no answers though, and retired after a good meal.

But Shaoron was not to be given a good night's rest. Though he had managed to meet his Princess in his dreams a few times, this night was different. It was cold, and he snuggled up to Cerberus in his true form for warmth.

"This cold...Is not natural," Cerberus murmured.

"I know," Shaoron said softly.

Abruptly he was seized by a dream. In it, he saw Sakura Kinomoto...and once he saw what happened, he woke up screaming.

His parents were by his side quickly. Eriol looked quite upset, and immediately Shaoron knew they had seen the same thing.

"You can go to Hong Kong tomorrow," was all he said to his adopted son.

"I only hope I'm in time," said Shaoron, still shaking violently. "He's got the Dream card, Father."

He never saw it when Eriol went pale.

* * *

**Violation**

Sakura snuggled into her beloved's embrace, smiling in her sleep. Syaoran was a warm presence in bed, and he smelled wonderful; occasionally, she or he would wake the other up with little kisses or the stroking of a sensitive body part...which would then turn into tender, half-asleep lovemaking. Sakura loved this so much, she sometimes would will herself to wake in the middle of the night, occasionally surprising Syaoran by waking him as she slid her mouth gently over his member. And when he responded and made love to her, Sakura felt she could know no greater happiness than his love.

So when she felt lips on her shoulder, she smiled and bent down to kiss him back, sighing in anticipation of being one with Syaoran. But the kiss was different; he shoved his tongue into her mouth almost brutally. He sucked hard on her shoulder, and she protested; it was not an act of love, it was like marking her...no...she struggled to open her eyes when she realized, _**no, this is not Syaoran! He wouldn't keep it up if it hurt me!**_

Who was it on her then? The aura seemed similar to Syaoran's...but it was...strange...

"No," she protested, but it was dark, and he was bigger than her; she was pinned down under him. And she could not open her eyes for some reason.

The man's hand came to cup her breast, squeezing it painfully as the other hand grabbed at her secret place and stabbed a finger into her, making her gasp in pain. He was hard and poised at her entrance, and Sakura wasn't even moist yet. Suddenly, the stranger abruptly thrust into her, and Sakura screamed; it hurt, whoever he was, he was not loving her, he was possessing her.

"You're hurting me..." and managed to pull away just as she realized the presence was chaotic, violent, and hollow. Sakura finally opened her eyes and found she was not in Syaoran's childhood bedroom which they now shared in the mansion. But something was wrong; the surrounding area was formless and black. She kicked out in panic, and managed to push him off, and he slid out of her, much to her relief.

Once Sakura had opened her eyes, she realized she was clad in nothing but her white silk negligee on a rooftop outside the house; it had been ripped open to expose her body, and her panties were missing. Someone was lying above her, panting, naked, his hardness against her thigh, his scent...completely wrong. Unlike Syaoran, this man's scent was musky and strange.

"What..." She looked around, confused. Sakura gasped when the moon peeked out from behind a cloud. He looked like a young Syaoran but with lighter hair. Scars marred his leanly-built chest and arms, and his eyes...His eyes terrified Sakura. They were pools of avarice: one brown and the other, blue.

They held an expression of lust; certainly Syaoran gave her smoldering looks of lust on a daily basis, but with Syaoran, she wanted him to do that. She _**enjoyed **_it when he let her know so wantonly how much he wanted to make love to her.

These eyes were frighteningly intrusive, though—as though they wanted something from her that she was not prepared to give.

The false Syaoran bent down to kiss her again and she backed away, quickly looking around at her surroundings to get her bearings. Somehow she knew she was not really outside Li Manor. Something else...something familiar... Then Sakura recognized the situation; it was like when she had once been attacked in downtown Hong Kong by that sorceress who had been searching for Clow Reed. She had been trapped in a dream...but that dream could kill; whatever happened there truly happened to her.

And the horror came crashing down on her. _**He was inside me! **_her mind screamed at her. She had just been raped. In a dream, yes, but still...it was the worst kind of violation, and she froze.

Big mistake; the young man pinned her down again as she froze.

"No!" Sakura struggled with all her might, but he was too strong. "Stop! You're not Syaoran! Get OFF me!"

His flat voice was emotionless. "In the past, that was what I was called." And he pushed Sakura down and parted her legs, clearly intending to enter her again. He tried to kiss her and she turned away, pounding on him with her fists.

He raised a brow; he did not understand that he was doing it all wrong. Sakura quickly realized what he was doing was a terrifyingly wrong imitation of how Syaoran made love to her, like whoever it was thought that a mechanical imitation of what Syaoran did would make her ready for sex.

His response was to position himself at her entrance again; Sakura found she was already bleeding down there, so she screamed and kicked out and pushed with her hands. She didn't bother to waste her breath yelling after that; instead, she tried to kick his genitals, his shin, anything.

Her mind raced: she had no Cards, no weapons...and her attempts to use telekinesis to batter at him with a rock were quickly overpowered by his own magic. Sakura soon realized this fake Syaoran was the possessor of the kind of magic that simply got stronger the more he used it. He easily overpowered her fledgling magic, and for a moment, fear and despair threatened to take over.

_**Think, Sakura, think! **_she screamed at herself in her mind. When they were young, Syaoran had always admonished her to stop crying and to think, and so she did; the thought of him made her feel marginally better.

_**Wait. If I can heal, then maybe...can I reverse what I do? Can I make the wounds I inflict on him worse? **_She summoned her will, and began to scratch with her nails. Not that she thought it would do much, but then he flinched. As soon as Sakura noticed the effect it had on the young man, she closed her eyes and bit him, hard, on the shoulder, willing the bite to fester, to hurt, to cause him pain.

The false Syaoran bellowed and pushed Sakura away; for good measure, she aimed at his genitalia and kicked as hard as she could. Her relief at hearing him groan in pain was immense. She stood up, planning to run back to Li Manor, when she heard Syaoran's voice calling her. She turned towards the sound and noticed the scene fading around her.

"Sakura? Sakura!" Syaoran was holding her close, shaking her gently.

She opened her eyes, not seeing him clearly in the dark but remembering his familiar, beloved scent. "Syaoran!" And she buried her head in his chest, and began to cry. She was bruised and hurt, and between her legs... she could feel she was bleeding. "Syaoran...he...it..." She was tempted to run away from him as well.

_**No, **_she shook her head violently. This was her Syaoran, the man she loved, the one who protected her, the one who would never hurt her.

"I saw the bruises forming on you as you cried out in your sleep," Syaoran said. "Who did this to you?" He was surprised when he noticed her eyes flicker to his face in fear; she took a deep breath before speaking.

"In my dream...a boy..." Sakura choked out, "but he had so many scars...and his eyes...one was brown and the other was blue...and his aura was so violent...oh Syaoran he..."

Syaoran looked down at Sakura's bruised, naked body and realized she was bleeding from between her legs. "Raped you," and his voice was cold and furious.

Sakura curled into him, and he held her tight. She refused to be lulled back into sleep, and Syaoran held her, rocking her gently, hoping to soothe her. What infuriated him was that he could do nothing...and he was feeling quite worthless at the moment.

Deep inside he was angrier than he'd ever been in his life. His beloved Sakura, the one he'd vowed to protect, had been violated; and he'd been helpless to prevent it. He could feel the fury and the frustration screaming for release inside him. But she **needed **him now, needed him to stay calm and to comfort her, and he would be damned if he didn't give that to her.

_**My Sakura has been raped, and I failed to protect her. **_The thought tolled over and over in his mind. Certainly Sakura was strong and courageous but this...this kind of violation was the kind that could break her, especially since he had been her only lover. She'd had absolutely no experience with molestation, let alone this. Who knew how she would cope with this?

_**Just give me five minutes with the bastard, **_Syaoran thought, as he tenderly crooned to Sakura the way he knew she liked to be soothed. Syaoran was sweating from the effort of keeping his fury in check. She needed him to be there, to console her; she didn't need him out there trying to hunt the rapist down to satisfy his own lust for vengeance.

Whoever this was, was no ordinary attacker—getting through the formidable barriers surrounding the Li household was no mean feat. And whoever it was had managed to trap Sakura in a dream without him even noticing.

She was refusing to look at his face though, and that bothered him. What had happened? Why wouldn't she look at him? She had been beside him in bed all the time; he'd watched her struggle with an attacker, and even when he'd tried to hold her, he couldn't wake her. He'd watched as her nightclothes were ripped apart...her legs parted brutally...Syaoran held her close, trying his best to let her feel how much he loved her, let her know he knew it wasn't her fault...

And as suddenly as it had started, she stopped, her breath heaving in dry sobs, her glare focused on the window of their bedroom.

"Sweet blossom?" he asked gently, once her sobs had subsided. Sakura looked up at him.

"Just hold me," she sniffed, and Syaoran let her nestle against him again. "Oh Syaoran..."

And he did. He then noticed her fists clenching; she was biting her lip hard enough to leave marks on it. "What is it?"

Sakura could not tell him that she wanted to do something she had never even thought of in her life. Instead, she swallowed, then, "Nothing." She then closed her eyes, but Syaoran could tell, she wasn't asleep. She seemed ashamed and angry, and Syaoran decided to stay silent and wait for her to say something, anything.

He lay down still holding her close, and was drifting off to a light yet watchful doze. The emotional strain of staying calm for Sakura's sake while feeling a vast ocean of anger, fury, and hatred was taking a toll on him. Syaoran couldn't sleep, not even if he wanted to—then he felt her leave his arms. She pulled on her dressing gown then stealthily padded out of the room, heading for the Li armory; curiously, quietly, Syaoran followed.

Once there, Sakura bit her lip again, hard enough to make it bleed, but she strengthened her resolve and went for the holder which usually housed Syaoran's Jian. But it wasn't there.

Syaoran had forgotten to tell her that he had learned how to absorb the sword into himself, and could now summon it at will by clapping his hands together; he couldn't explain how, but he just knew. He watched as Sakura drew out another sword instead, one which was too heavy for her, and which thudded to the ground when she lost her grip on it. She was weeping.

_**Oh God NO! **_Syaoran thought she was going to impale herself when she dropped to her knees and tried to pick the sword up again. _**She's not thinking rationally! **_his mind screamed at him. _**Stop her!**_

"**NO**!" Syaoran kicked the sword away by the hilt and grabbed Sakura. "Don't... no...God Sakura...please, I love you!" Given Sakura's gentle nature, Syaoran was terrified that she had reached her breaking point and was now giving up.

_**If I hadn't followed her...**_Syaoran had bitten his lip as well; blood was now dripping down from the wound, not that he noticed. He was well beyond fury now; he needed something, someone, anything, anyone to destroy, to rip to shreds, to unleash the full fury of the magic he could feel was burgeoning in him.

"I'm not going to kill myself," Sakura said in an icy, strained voice he'd never heard her use before. "I'm going to go out and kill _him_," she said coldly. "He's got to be out there, pretty close, to be able to work this kind of spell..."

Sakura could not even think of words for what she was feeling. She had never felt so angry and violated in her life. All she could think of was the false Syaoran at her feet, the life draining out of his eyes...she had never known hatred and thus she was easily overwhelmed when the emotion came surging over her.

Syaoran recognized what had happened. He knew he needed to stop her before she did something rash. His heart ached; he wanted her to go ahead and get the release, the vengeance she needed, but not while she was irrational, not while she was still unsafe.

"No." Syaoran held her firmly.

"Why not?" she almost screamed, struggling in his embrace.

"Damn it Sakura, what if someone's trying to lure you out with that dream?" Syaoran's voice was stern, though he wanted to go out and hunt down the rapist himself.

"You have powers. All I have is...is...I couldn't fight...He just swept my magic away like I was...nothing..." Sakura was angry and tearful. "Do you know what it felt like?" Her emerald eyes were blazing. "Do you know how dirty I feel right now? He... shoved himself into me Syaoran! He...used me!" Her voice had risen to an almost hysterical scream.

Syaoran held her close and bit back his own anger. "I don't know how you feel, and I don't think I can ever know how angry you are. But first," and he stroked her shaking back, "you didn't ask for this. Second, it's not your fault. And..."

She fought him, flailing her fists against his chest, and Syaoran pressed her head to his chest, shushing her gently and stroking her. He didn't know how to deal with this; certainly he did not blame Sakura at all, but he wanted so much to reassure her that she would be all right. "Please, Sakura," he said as he rocked her gently. "Please...my blossom, my baby..." He murmured all the pet names they used on each other in bed, and slowly, she stopped shaking and pounding on him.

"I love you, Sakura," he said into her delicate shell-like ear. "Nothing will ever change that. I will always love you," he said softly, passionately.

"He touched me," she whimpered softly. "He raped me..."

"I won't let him do that again," Syaoran promised recklessly. He had no idea that, powerful as he had already become, it would not be he who would bring the rapist to justice.

"You're not going to Tomoeda without me," Sakura said softly.

"You were just attacked. You have to stay where you can be protected," Syaoran said.

Sakura laughed mirthlessly. "And see how well I was protected tonight," she said softly.

Syaoran winced.

"Enough. I choose my destiny. I have magic. I will learn to protect myself and those I love," she said. "Especially you."

Syaoran raised Sakura's face to his own, intending to kiss her gently. Then Sakura gasped; in the moonlight her eyes had briefly deceived her and she had seen her rapist in Syaoran's face.

He did not expect her to suddenly shudder, scream, and cry, balling her fists, pounding them against him. Her cries were wordless, and Syaoran was thrown into agony knowing there was nothing at all he could do to take away what had happened to her. He could feel her anger; she wanted to lash out, and he took her blows with stoic acceptance. Sakura needed to get the anger out of her system, and Syaoran stayed quiet as he waited for her to calm down.

"Why?" was all he asked, agony in his voice. Her next words were a slap in his face.

Sakura drew a deep breath before answering. "He...the...it looked...like you...only younger..."

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**What The Unsensed Evil Wants**

If the young man with the mismatched eyes had heard their argument, he would have laughed...had he remembered how to laugh. He'd planned this the moment he'd caught Dream and used his stolen magic to force the Card to serve him.

Raping Sakura was just a side benefit; he was hoping to lure her or Syaoran out. He needed to see if Syaoran had accomplished the one thing he needed him for: to father a son on Sakura. Once she was pregnant, it would be child's play to trap Syaoran in a vicious dream world designed to play on his fears and insecurities.

_If he dies by his own hand in the dream world once I get him in it_...the young man once also known as Syaoran, now only called the Clone, thought calmly. It was foolish of his former master to think he could have been kept under control for so long. Once he had stolen the mage's eye, he had simply gotten stronger and stronger until he returned to his master, slaughtered him, and devoured him as well.

Now he was free. At first he hadn't known what to do. He no longer felt a terrible compulsion to collect memory feathers for the Princess he believed he had already killed.

But then he had returned to this world to try and steal the Clow Cards. At that time he thought that gaining power was the only thing that he could possibly want. Instead he had found something he wanted terribly.

Syaoran Li's life.

The Clone wanted to feel what it was like to be Li, to have so many people who loved him, to be rich and powerful. To have Sakura Kinomoto, and Li's son from her. Possessing Sakura and the child would mean he would alter the course of history and destiny on so many worlds.

And now, he would have Sakura soon if his plans went well. He was drawn to her not only for her great beauty but also...he wanted what she had with Syaoran. He wanted her to respond to him, to smile at him, to love him...to make the sounds of pleasure she made with Li, to have her face light up the way it did when she had an orgasm with Li.

Because she represented power...she was ripe with a power he did not understand but which he wanted to share with her; he did not feel the urge to kill her but to explore and to own her.

He frowned though when he thought of how she had responded to his attempt to seduce her. Her refusal to be aroused, her unhappy reaction to his ministrations disappointed him, but not to worry; there were many women in the area, seeing someone as handsome as he, whom he could take and force to serve him until he learned what he needed to in order to pleasure Sakura.

Absorbing Li's memories and his soul in the dream world...he smiled a harsh, cruel smile when he thought of himself taking Syaoran's place by her side...and becoming the father figure of the boy who would change so many destinies.

Once he absorbed Li, he would be Li. Not even Sakura would be able to tell them apart.

"My name...is Syaoran Li," he whispered experimentally. He almost smiled; the name rolled off his lips so naturally.

In his hand the Dream card lay quiescient and tame, obeying the young man who now controlled it.

**End of Chapter 11 **

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**Notes: **_Shaoron corresponds to the original Clone Syaoran in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. My theory is, since he was part of RealSyaoran's heart, perhaps he could still be out there somewhere. In the series, it is revealed that nobody there is using their real names, hence Shaoron for him, and Xing Mei for the Clone Princess Sakura._

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**As always, notes and thanks here (so no one can complain about me delaying the story for them)! Your reviews always, always make me want to try harder, so thank you!**  
**  
Musette Fujiwara**, sorry if it seems confusing but there's an explanation here, hope it helps. **storyteller87**, thank you so much and I hope I don't disappoint you! **Joushou-Sensei,** thank you so much, you don't know what that means to me! **meow-mix23**, I suspect I will have a little surprise for you in a few weeks X. Wolf, thank you so much! I hope I also do not disappoint you here. M**ystic Moon Empress**, HAPPY BIRTHDAY--belated! will you accept this as a late birthday present? I took such a long time because I was wondering whether I would get flamed for what happens to Sakura here, but I decided it was necessary to the plot (and to make you guys hate Evil Clone more LOL**). SakuraLover**, is this long enough? Just kidding! And thanks for understanding!** Sakura Petal Wings**, I suspect you will adore it when Shaoron finally changes his relationship with his Sakura/Xing Mei XD Evil Clone will get his comeuppance, don't worry...but will you flame me for what happens here? (dodges quickly LOL). **lhaine07**, of all the readers I have I am most afraid of how you will react to this chapter! Opo, Pilipina din ako! Huwag mag-alala, sa pagmamahal ni SxS ay hindi magtatagal ang sugat na binigay ni Salbaheng Clone hehe. **Twilight Kisses**, I suspect you can predict what will happen in the next chapter. **Forest Scion**, welcome back and thank you for the review! **xXxCherryBlossomxXx**, i keep forgetting you write even longer chaps than I do! Hugs to you for helping me wrestle with this chapter. **winterkaguya**, not yet, coming soon! And you caught me, yes, you evil word reader you! Evil Clone has no name, but the Good Clone is now called Shaoron, hope that helps...and now you know where the Princess is! **CheeseyCraziness**, will you dance more if I tell you there is a happy lemon in the next chapter? Between SxS? **rondallagurl**, I am worried about you, hope the rape scene did NOT scare you. feel free to scream at me if it did though, sorry! But remember: it happened in a dream... **iNuQtpIe**, I guess you must be very scared? But be assured that SxS will pull through this. I keep stressing the power of love, after all! **Raine 793**, ehh, kamusta practicum? **Hououza**, I really have to thank you for always patiently going through the chapters! Please don't apologize, ever, as you have always been so kind and patient! I do wonder what you think of this though...And you can probably tell by now that Syaoran will be fighting blind soon. **Suyi**, thanks for the review, hope this wasn't too late for you! **whitewave16**, aww, sorry to hear that but I wish you luck! **chibiNeko192**, haha congratulations! And thank you for noticing how much love is in their relationship..although in this chapter Syaoran has nothing else to help Sakura with but his love. **AnimeManga4evah**, are you gonna kill me now (I'm scared!)? Sorry! But next chapter you'll see why this had to happen. **YamiNoTomoyo**, LOL can't answer the BM questions without giving it away! Trying to fix a gaping plot hole right now. As for this story, yes, H!Syaoran is here. And you called it right. Happy lemon next chapter, wonder what you think? haha!


	13. Decisions to be Made

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 13**

**Decisions to be Made**

**Author's note: **Surprised by the quick update? Consider this a thank you for sticking by me despite last chapter's contents. It had the worst number of reviews and hits, but what the heck, I will finish this anyway! Thank you so much, parma-violets, for helping me out, and more thanks are due to CheeseyCraziness and xXxCherryBlossomxXx for helping me out.

Happy adult situation below; please hit the back button if you don't like those things!

For those freaked out by last chapter, relax. SxS will be all right now

More notes below

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_"He looked...like you..."_

Syaoran's first impulse was to let go of Sakura in his shock, but he fought it and kept her close. Would holding her make her remember the attack then? But he knew he would have to sacrifice his own emotions to get the whole story out of her, and to help her let it all out.

So that was why she refused to look at him. But _**who **_was it who resembled him then who attacked her? Was it the lookalike of his he'd been seeing for so long?

"He said he was once called Syaoran as well," Sakura said softly. "And he..." She forced herself to look up at him. This was not fair. Syaoran didn't deserve to be punished by her refusing to look at him...and to have to hear what happened to her. She shivered when she saw his face in shadow; her eyes fooled her again. Then she lowered her eyes. Right now she was still afraid, and Syaoran in the darkness looked...like the other one.

Syaoran had no idea what to say or do. Should he let her go, now that she was shrinking from him? Did she want him to go away? What did she want?

She closed her eyes instead, snuggling up against Syaoran and breathing in his familiar, comforting scent. In the darkness, Sakura felt Syaoran's arms encircle her.

"I'm so sorry, baby blossom," he said softly as he held her. "I am so, so sorry. Tell me about it?"

She never answered; instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck but she kept her eyes closed. It was easier that way. It was so confusing to look at him and feel scared, all the while trying to remind herself, _**this is my Syaoran, this is the one I love, this is the one who loves me. **_Closing her eyes made it easier.

She felt Syaoran stiffen, and hated herself for being so cruel to him. But the fear, the pain, her emotions...she swallowed back more tears and focused on how gently he held her, how he smelled so comforting, how different and soothing the rhythm of his breathing was.

Closing her eyes though wounded Syaoran in ways he'd never thought possible. He inwardly protested: _**I did not do this to you! **_But he swallowed his pain and continued to offer comfort to Sakura. It was all they had left now, after all—the comfort of each other's presence.

That night was the first night Sakura did not curl into Syaoran's arms when she fell asleep. Syaoran watched her sleep, the ache in his heart threatening to overwhelm him. He wanted to touch her, to hold her...but he lay quietly beside her in a light doze, ready to wake if she needed him. They lay side by side but the few inches between them felt like a yawning gulf to Syaoran. The connection they normally felt with each other was missing, and his heart ached; she was shutting him out.

Several hours later, he was surprised when Sakura took hold of his arm—her eyes still shut tight—and draped it over her waist. Then she turned so that she would not be facing him, but he would still be holding her in an embrace. And this hurt him more than he thought it would. She needed him...but she could not face him. He knew she was awake, but unable to look at him...and again the strange thorn which seemed to have lodged itself in his chest burrowed deeper, hurting him more.

Several days passed in that manner. Syaoran would wake up to feel Sakura stirring restlessly in his arms, and he would pull himself away and force himself out of bed so that he would not scare her when she awoke and saw him. Since he'd taken to reinforcing the magical barriers around the house, she had no longer been attacked. It was a way for him to feel better since she would not let him get close, would not tell him what had happened.

Sakura was confused and angry and scared, and she was ashamed of her feelings. Sometimes she wanted Syaoran by her side...but sometimes she was relieved when he was gone. And she cried when she was alone; why was it so hard to be with Syaoran? She knew he hadn't done anything, that it wasn't his fault...yet...

Not knowing what Sakura was thinking was beginning to put a strain on Syaoran. He desperately tried to figure out what she wanted, and tried to second-guess her all the time...unknowingly, he aggravated the tension between them when he hesitated around her.

In the mornings, he shied from kissing her before he left for work; the morning after what happened, he had kissed her and she had gasped and recoiled. Syaoran worried that she would not welcome any physical contact from him. Instead, he settled for kissing her forehead when she was still asleep, leaving before she woke up, and returning in the afternoons to help her train—though he refrained as much as he could from touching her because she would pull away before she could remember who was with her.

Sakura on one hand was relieved that Syaoran was not forcing the issue of their previous physical intimacy on her. But another part of her was hurt that he was avoiding her; she could not see that he was hesitating because he was afraid to hurt her. And so one night a week after the rape, she went to sleep in the guest bedroom across his.

The confusion that was hounding Sakura could not lift because she refused to discuss the horrible incident. She knew she was lucky it hadn't lasted long; the young man had not had a chance to really hurt her. But she thought denying it would make the pain, the fear, the anger go away; she did not want to bother Syaoran with the morass of confusion she was in. _**I promised to protect him, **_she thought, _and he does not deserve to have me pushing him away all the time. _And so she decided to stay away from him to give him room to breathe, to not have to be awkward around her anymore. Yet she yearned to let him step in and take care of her.

_**No! That's weakness! He shouldn't have to be the one to deal with this! I will deal with it and then...and then what?**_

Sakura pulled a pillow over her head to muffle her sobs. She was so confused and miserable...with Syaoran, but especially so without him.

Syaoran entered their room with some tea and panicked when he saw Sakura wasn't there. He rushed out of the door; he could sense her aura, so he knew she was in the house. When he realized where she was, he tried the door...and found it locked.

_**She doesn't want to be near me**_, Syaoran thought.

Numbly he walked back to his room and found himself in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror. A hollow-eyed, pale Syaoran stared back at him. He backed up until he hit the wall behind him, then slid to the floor. A tear spattered onto the floor; for the first time since he was eleven, Syaoran Li, one of the most powerful men in Hong Kong, was crying, and the only person who could comfort him was locked away from him just ten feet away.

He forced himself on his feet a little later. _**I can't give in to my emotions, **_he told himself sternly. Sakura needs me to protect her, and he walked to the door of the guest bedroom Sakura was in. He sat by the door, intending to guard her...from what, he didn't know, but it made him feel better to just be there, near Sakura somehow.

Syaoran later fell asleep in his uncomfortable position, and Yelan, perturbed by the lack of the lovely rosy glow from their bedroom, found him there.

She stroked her son's hair, and Syaoran stirred. She could feel how heartsore he was, and his loneliness assailed her like a wave. He murmured, "Sakura" in his sleep, and Yelan instantly realized something terrible must have happened; she could sense Sakura locked in the guest bedroom.

It hurt her to see her son so miserable—he'd been cold and emotionless so long, seeing him happy had been a joy for her—and to feel Sakura's own misery. Sakura was crying; Yelan could sense her emotions. Syaoran had been crying himself, and it broke her heart to know that his happiness had been cut short.

She knew no fight had taken place between her son and his fiancee, and that neither of them would willingly talk about it, so she resolved to find out what had happened the next morning.

Sakura woke up feeling oddly bereft and lonely the next morning; Syaoran's arms were not around her. She almost screamed when she noticed she was alone and not in Syaoran's bedroom. Then she remembered why she was there, and sighed. She missed him, very badly. But she did not want to burden him with her pain and confusion...and she did not want him to suffer whenever she pushed him away. _**I have to be strong for him, **_she thought, and she pulled her dressing gown on. As she crossed over to their bedroom, she found Syaoran waiting in the corridor. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept.

"Syaoran?"

He sort of smiled weakly at her. "You all right, Sakura?"

They stood there awkwardly facing each other. It was like they didn't know how to talk to each other anymore. The lack of pet names did not escape Sakura. She lifted her hand and touched Syaoran's unshaven cheek.

Why was he looking so tired? Sakura wanted so much to hold him...but she didn't know whether he would welcome her suddenly coming back to him.

Syaoran closed his eyes; he was starved for affection from her, and even that small touch meant everything to him. How he missed his little blossom! But he opened his eyes quickly, afraid he would put her off with his behavior.

"Are you all right?" Sakura asked, green eyes wide with concern.

Syaoran nodded quietly, not admitting why he was tired. "Come, let's have breakfast, swee...Sakura." He'd almost added his pet name for her, 'sweet blossom,' but he held his tongue. He also did not dare touch Sakura for fear that she might recoil from him.

Sakura followed him to the kitchen quietly. He did not take her hand, and she wondered if he had reached the limits of his patience with her. But he pulled out a chair for her, and nodded. Yet they did not talk.

From the door, Yelan looked at Mei Ling, no words necessary; they knew someone would have to get the story out of either Sakura or Syaoran somehow.

Syaoran quietly left the house, saying a quiet goodbye to Sakura. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her goodbye, but he did not want to see her push him away, and so he sadly left.

She pressed her forehead to her steaming cup of tea; she wanted Syaoran so much but was unsure of how to relate to him now. She felt soiled and dirty; she was angry and ashamed and hurt that Syaoran seemed not to be making an effort to be closer to her. Instead she resolved to work harder and harder until she was strong enough to fight that odd-eyed man, and to protect all she held dear.

And so it was for the next several days.

"Enough!" Yelan called to Sakura, who was grimacing from the effort of learning a spell. "Sakura, for the gods' sake why are you working so hard?" She was hoping the younger woman would talk about what had caused Syaoran to rush home for nearly a week now, and what had caused Sakura to lose her cheer and work so hard at learning spells. She had even enlisted Mei Ling to teach her martial arts, and once, late at night, Yelan had come upon Sakura practicing sword forms in the large ballroom of the house.

And worst of all, Sakura had taken to sleeping in another room, the one across Syaoran's...and he now slept outside it, waking before she did. She could sense the pain and confusion between them, and she could see Syaoran desperately drawing on his magical reserves to survive the strain...and he was weakening as a result despite the fact that his magic was clearly back and in stronger concentrations than when he was a boy. He too practiced like one possessed, and constantly watched Sakura with loving if upset eyes.

Yelan was focused on a scene she had witnessed earlier that morning. Syaoran had come upon Sakura staring off into space, and he had awkwardly tried to enfold Sakura into his arms. At first she resisted, then melted into his embrace. Syaoran was clearly trying to reassure her about something, and Sakura was also trying her best to let Syaoran reassure her. Normally Sakura never resisted Syaoran, and Yelan could see how much pain both held in their hearts.

She did not want to ask her son what the matter was; she knew he would fall back into his old patterns of bristling anger if she did. Nonetheless Yelan wished to know the truth.

The truth was, Sakura was still angry. She was learning the sword at a fast pace, and hacked away at the practice dummies, imagining the blue-and-amber-eyed clone in all of them. Then she would stop, feeling guilty, as the young man so resembled Syaoran.

Finally Yelan asked carefully as she removed the practice sword from Sakura's hand, "What's wrong, Sakura?"

Sakura began to cry, and she held the younger woman until she calmed down.

"Is it Syaoran?" Yelan asked gently.

"No...well, I...I'm so sorry...I just..." Sakura could not string together a coherent sentence because her anger and frustration were eating away at her.

And she was ashamed of being so obvious. If Yelan had noticed...how weak was she anyway? Would Yelan be angry that Sakura was avoiding Syaoran?

She needn't have worried. "Sakura," Yelan said quietly, "I do not know what happened, and I understand if you don't want to tell me about it. But you must talk to someone soon. Wounds that are allowed to fester dig deeper, and I hate to see you in so much pain. At least, if you can't tell Syaoran or me, talk to Mei Ling or Tomoyo. Please."

Grateful that Yelan wasn't forcing her to tell what happened, Sakura nodded.

She knew she had to tell someone. But she decided it couldn't be Syaoran. She was afraid of letting him know what had happened; she didn't want to push him away. She was, truth to tell, still ashamed that she had been raped, and was unable to talk to Syaoran about it.

Had she realized that he would have welcomed anything from her, seen past her own pain, she would have flung herself into his arms then and there.

The next morning, Tomoyo returned from a brief sojourn home, happy from having seen her beloved mother and having spent some time with her. Mei Ling took her aside and mentioned the state of Sakura's and Syaoran's relationship—only, Tomoyo had already noticed it. Observing them, Tomoyo said, "Look at how they don't touch. She recoils, he backs off. They haven't fought...rather they need to talk, to touch, to relate to each other."

Mei Ling looked thoughtful. "I hate to say this but...you remember those dreams?"

Tomoyo understood immediately. "Has anyone broken into the house?"

"No...not even Auntie Yelan has sensed a magical intruder...but she says Syaoran and Sakura have stopped making love for a week or so now."

"We have to get her to talk," Tomoyo mused. "But how to open the topic..."

Mei Ling sighed. "I think I can. At lunch, open the topic of my father."

"No," Tomoyo breathed. Mei Ling had told her that story some time ago.

"We have to," Mei Ling said quietly. "For her sake. And his."

Tomoyo sighed. "All right. I don't like it but okay."

When lunch came, Tomoyo smoothly steered the conversation to her father, who had died when she was a baby. Sakura cheerfully talked about her father Fujitaka, then she relieved both women by asking Mei Ling, "Was your dad Syaoran's dad's cousin or brother?"

There it was. Mei Ling sighed. "Neither. My mom was his dad's cousin."

"What? But you're a Li!"

Mei Ling held Sakura's gaze firmly in her own, "My mother was raped; she never married. And I am the product of that rape."

Sakura gasped.

"My mother never blamed me for what happened," Mei Ling continued, her voice only wavering slightly. "It was Yelan-sama who fought the Elders for the right to give me the Li name. But because my mother never talked about it, and tried to deny it, she...it slowly ate away at her, and she never fought the cancer that took her life."

"What happened to you, Sakura?" Tomoyo asked quietly. "We've seen you and how you act towards Syaoran..."

Sakura paled. But these two women were her real, dearest friends...

"I...two weeks ago...someone came into my dreams and...he looked like Syaoran..."

It was Mei Ling's turn to gasp. "Did he rape you?"

"How did you know?" Sakura turned astonished eyes on her.

Mei Ling looked away. "I dreamt of it. I was praying it was never ever going to happen..." She quickly told Sakura of the dream of the odd-eyed Syaoran lookalike killing both Syaoran and another boy who looked like him, if a younger and gentler version.

Sakura's voice was dull. "That false Syaoran...he was the one who r...raped me." Mei Ling gasped, and Tomoyo's eyes widened. "It happened in a dream." She told them the story of how she had been sexually assaulted; though she did not cry, her voice shook, and she clenched her fists. She told them of how she wanted to spare Syaoran the agony of dealing with her pain, her shame at being unable to protect herself...

Unable to bear it, Mei Ling interrupted. "The first thing you have to learn," Mei Ling said quietly, "is that rape is not your fault. Ever. You're lucky it was in a dream, though—that you were really physically hurt..." Her voice trailed off, and there was silence for a while as all three women thought of the possiblities.

"But Sakura, you say Syaoran watched as you were raped?" Tomoyo asked.

"He woke me up when he saw what happened," Sakura said. The two other women looked at each other, then Mei Ling spoke.

"He had to watch...Sakura, do you know what that does to a man?" When Sakura shook her head, Mei Ling gave her a commiserating look. "You know, when Syaoran returned home after the Last Judgment, he was unable to forgive himself for not being able to protect you."

"H...he knew?"

"Deep inside he did. He became cold and angry, and he always, always, deep down, blamed himself for what happened. When you came back into his life, he changed. It was like with you around, he was able to forgive himself a little," Tomoyo picked up the conversation. "I found him crying in Penguin Park the day after you disappeared. He may not have all his memories but still...Sakura, please, we know how you must feel, how confused you must be, but can you see how you're hurting him?

"I know you're angry and hurt and all...God, I'd be off hunting the bastard down myself if it happened to me! So if you're pissed, by all means get stronger and prepare to kill him!" Mei Ling interrupted. Sakura smiled slightly, and Mei Ling smiled back.

In a gentler tone, she continued, "But you have to let Syaoran in on your pain. He is going to be your husband, you know. And he loves you. He would never blame you for what happened, nor would he take it against you if you were scared or angry or whatever."

Tomoyo and Mei Ling watched as Sakura stared off in the distance. She had been pushing Syaoran away ever since; they had not made love in so long...come to think of it, when was the last time she had shown him affection? And she hadn't thought of how he would receive what she had done.

"I was just trying to protect him," she said softly. "The guy...he looked like Syaoran and Syaoran doesn't deserve me pushing him away...and I'm so angry—I imagine that false Syaoran dying at my feet every day! And then I feel horrible because I think it's like me wanting Syaoran dead..."

"I think he would rather be treated that way so long as you're close to him," Tomoyo said wisely. "If you pull away from him—like you have, sleeping in another room, not touching him—it's worse because he doesn't know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. He'd rather go through it with you."

Sakura was trying not to cry, but Tomoyo looked at her. "Let it out, Sakura-chan. Let it go. Stop keeping it in. Don't blame yourself. Please. You are not to blame! And you have never been weak—look, you fought back!"

"I felt so dirty...I didn't want you to know I was so...helpless...He..."

As Sakura began to cry, both Mei Ling and Tomoyo comforted her; Mei Ling held one of Sakura's hands, and Tomoyo stroked Sakura's shoulders gently.

Mei Ling raised Sakura's chin gently. "Look at me, Sakura. Trust Syaoran. Trust Yelan-sama. Or us. It doesn't matter who. But you can't let this bring you down. Your life...no you, are worth much more than this one incident. No one can understand your pain; it will always be your own and you have every right to all the emotions you're feeling right now. Be angry, be scared, be furious, be ready to kill the bastard the next time he comes near you, if he ever does. But don't shut us...least of all Syaoran...out. Do you understand? You need to let us help you, and to let Syaoran help you."

"I couldn't tell Syaoran...I mean, we moved here because he was worried about protecting me and then this happened...what would it do to him to know he failed? Just like...the Last Judgment," she whispered, agony in her voice.

Both Mei Ling and Tomoyo embraced Sakura.

"You need to trust those you love," Tomoyo said quietly. "And we love you. We all do," she smiled.

"But Syaoran...how would he feel if I suddenly came back to him..." Sakura was hesitating.

"He would be happy," Mei Ling said. "If you open your heart to him again, show him you trust him...I believe the quote for this is, 'Everything will be all right,' and though it isn't going to be the way it was before, well..." Mei Ling smiled back. "You'll be together. And you two have always been stronger together."

"I know," Sakura whispered as she wiped away one last tear.

Then they all turned as Syaoran arrived, looking tired and haggard. He looked gently at Sakura though, and raised a hand as if to touch her, then thought the better of it and dropped his hand, looking somewhat ashamed. Tomoyo sighed; clearly, it was both instinct for Syaoran to want affection from Sakura, to reach out for her. She could still read him the way she had when they were children, and she knew he was feeling guilty and selfish for still needing her despite her ordeal.

Sakura took a deep breath just as Syaoran arrived. One glance, and Tomoyo knew she and Sakura were thinking the same thing.

_**I love him so much, **_Sakura thought. _**I need him. I can't be as strong as I am without him. **_And the thought gave her the impetus to do what she did next.

Despite the shadows under his eyes, and the visible tiredness in him, he gave her a soft, loving look. To his surprise, she ran into his arms.

How he had missed the way she did that! Syaoran held her close, ignoring Mei Ling and Tomoyo, burying his nose in her sweet-smelling hair, loving that she had finally willingly touched him after so long.

"Welcome home, Syao-wolf," she whispered as he held her. "I'm so so sorry!"

Oh how he had missed her nickname for him! Syaoran really smiled for the first time in the week since the incident, and said, "Don't be sorry, sweet blossom. Never ever."

"I love you, Syaoran. I love you so much," Sakura said softly as she looked him straight in his beautiful brown eyes, the eyes she loved so much, the eyes which she knew would always hold that love for her.

In response Syaoran kissed her for the first time since the rape, a deep tender kiss into which he poured all his love for her.

"Oh, get a room!" Mei Ling rolled her eyeballs at Tomoyo, who giggled. "Seriously!"

Sakura and Syaoran broke off the kiss, foreheads touching, and smiled at Tomoyo and Mei Ling. "Sorry," Syaoran said, as he wrapped his arms around Sakura and pulled her close. She rubbed her nose against his as she always had before, and he felt the thorn in his heart disappear completely.

"Don't worry, we understand," Tomoyo smiled.

_**I should have remembered this, **_Sakura thought ruefully as she sank into Syaoran's gentle embrace, _**how much he loves me. That's the difference. When I met Syaoran he was on his way to becoming that soulless...thing...it's what he could have been. But he has changed so much for me, because he **_**loves **_**me.**_

She took his hand and really smiled at him for the first time since the incident; Syaoran smiled back happily. Sakura tugged him towards the stairs; he lifted her off her feet, both of them laughing as he carried her up the stairs. They collapsed happily into their bed in his room. Syaoran pulled her into their old embrace; Sakura snuggled up to him and she inhaled his beloved scent, just as he savored hers.

"Sweet blossom...I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I..." Syaoran began, but was interrupted when she put her finger on his lips.

"Don't be sorry," she said softly.

"But I am," Syaoran said. He'd been wanting so much to say it to her.

She kissed him gently, letting him know she forgave him, that she didn't care, that she loved him anyway. "Do you love me?" Sakura said softly when she pulled away. "That's all I need from you. Please..."

Syaoran also put a finger on her lips. "I do love you, Sakura," Syaoran said gently, and she smiled again.

"I am so sorry I pushed you away. I thought I was protecting you from all I felt..." And Sakura took Mei Ling and Tomoyo's advice, pouring out her anger, her frustration, telling Syaoran what she thought, how she felt.

Syaoran did not interrupt; he merely held her and kept listening, touching her cheek gently, letting her know he was there. He was angry at how badly hurt she had been; his old feelings of wanting to hunt that odd-eyed lookalike returned. But he stayed there, reassuring Sakura with his gentle look. He was grateful she trusted him again and told him what she had been through. When she finished talking, Sakura kissed Syaoran and lay in his arms quietly.

"I don't want to let what happened define who I am. It happened to me; it is not something that makes me who I am," Sakura said quietly.

Syaoran smiled. "I'm glad you think that," he said as he caressed her cheek. "Not to make light of it, though. I quite understand how angry you are, and if you want to kill him, be my guest." He paused, then continued, "But Sakura?"

"Yes?" Sakura looked into his eyes, thinking she knew what he wanted to say.

"Please...never shut me out again." The raw emotion of pleading in his voice made Sakura feel very guilty.

"Sorry," Sakura lowered her eyes. "I was just so..."

"You can beat me up the way you do the practice dummies," Syaoran joked. "Just let me in, sweet blossom, when you're angry or confused or scared."

"I will," she promised. "You do the same though."

"Okay." Syaoran smiled.

They lay together in a companionable silence, savoring the way they had been reunited, the way the lines of communication were open between them again.

"I believe your love will see me through anything," Sakura said softly. "And I won't forget today."

"I believe the same thing too," Syaoran smiled. "About what happened to you...I know it happened in a dream," Syaoran said softly, "and I wish it never did. That way you would still be completely happy. I just want you to be happy...no awful memories..."

"Then...let's erase it," she said softly. "Make love to me...the way only you can," Sakura said as she slid Syaoran's shirt off him.

"Are you sure?" Syaoran asked, then gasped as Sakura's small hands began to stroke his nipples, and stray across his chest.

"I want you to take the memory away by giving me another memory. Yours," Sakura said as she began to plant kisses on his toned chest and neck.

He did not reply; instead, he brought his lips gently down in a series of butterfly kisses that swept from her nape down to her shoulders; Sakura shuddered in pleasure.

"Syaoran..." she breathed softly.

Still he did not reply as he slowly peeled her clothes off her and kissed her everywhere he could reach. He let his tongue flick out and tease her gently; he knew she liked little surprises when they made love.

"You are beautiful," he finally said, when the last of her clothes fell away. "And I love you more than anything else in my life," he said as he began to lick at her skin gently. He was gentle and tender; he wanted to make love to Sakura and let her feel, and know just how much he loved her.

He patiently kissed every inch of skin on her neck, her chest, her breasts, and on her shoulders, where she liked it best, he planted a few small love bites. He murmured his love for her with each kiss, and returned to her lips often to kiss her deeply and passionately, his tongue sweetly running over hers. She ran her hands through his thick brown hair, murmuring his name and responding with her own declarations of love for him.

Then Syaoran began to minister to Sakura's breasts. He knew she loved having her nipples rolled, and so he used his tongue to lave each one slowly, teasingly, tantalizingly.

Sakura threw her head back in pleasure; anticipating this, Syaoran laid her down on the bed, against the thick down pillows. He chuckled, and Sakura smiled; he always anticipated her needs, knew what she wanted...and this was real, the Syaoran who loved her completely.

When his kisses trailed down again to her breasts, she pushed them together and let him lick at both nipples rapidly. She knew what she liked now, and was no longer shy about asking Syaoran for it.

Syaoran for his part enjoyed watching Sakura's face and her responses: how her nipples stiffened, how her eyes squeezed shut, how her little gasps became small and almost childlke. As much as he wanted to consummate their love quickly, he knew she needed him to go slow—so he did.

He slowly turned her to her side and began to kiss and lick her back and shoulders, savoring her, tasting her skin. When she shuddered from each light kiss and touch, he smiled; he would never tire of making love to Sakura.

Sakura was thrilling to Syaoran's touch. This...this tenderness, this passion...it was right, it was real. She could feel his love for her with each touch, and she opened her eyes to watch Syaoran making love to her. He smiled when he saw her watching, and came back to kiss her again. This time they both kept their eyes open as they kissed; it was a strange, wonderful sensation, amber meeting emerald, and both smiled.

She was beginning to see how different Syaoran really was from the strange young man who had violated her in her dreams. For one, Syaoran was much more handsome; the blank stare and the scars made the other one strangely repellent. Syaoran also radiated love and kindness; his aura was pure and clean, whereas the other's was chaotic and confused.

Syaoran smiled when Sakura began to glow pink again; she clearly liked what he was doing. He continued to kiss and lick her all over, ignoring his own need for release; she needed him, and he was prepared to love her all night if he had to.

He found his way to the labia of her little secret and almost hesitated, remembering what had happened to her and how she had been violated in that area. So Syaoran began by tickling her tummy; when she giggled, he smiled at her and licked what he had just tickled.

Finally he parted her thighs gently and to his relief, he found that she was moist already. He slowly licked her labia up and down, arousing her even further; when the folds parted to reveal her entrance, he teased her little bud then thrust his tongue into her to make love to her that way until he felt her come several times, screaming his name each time.

Syaoran then sat on the bed, and placed Sakura in his lap with her legs parted. He kissed her lips gently, his tongue entering her mouth and letting her taste herself on him. Then he placed her hands on his erect manhood.

"You slide me in when you're ready," Syaoran said softly, giving her the option to back out if she was still afraid. "If not, it's okay."

Sakura smiled, and slowly slid him into her; she wanted him, she wanted this. Once Syaoran was all the way in, she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. He held her tight; somehow this was the sweetest love they had made, a reaffirmation of how they loved each other.

He rocked her hips on his gently, and smiled as he kissed her; Sakura rubbed his nose with hers and closed her eyes to better feel Syaoran filling her. Each thrust brought him deeper into her, and she gasped and moaned in pleasure; each chance she got, though, she opened her eyes to watch his.

"Look," he said, and pointed downwards; Sakura could see him moving in and out of her, and the sight aroused her even more. "Do you see us joined together?" he asked.

"Y...yes," Sakura hissed through teeth clenched in preparation for an orgasm. Her hands spread across Syaoran's chest, and she kissed and stroked his nipples, which were sensitive. He moaned into her ear; she delighted in the sound of his voice. Both of them were glowing beautifully; theirs was a brilliant, fiery red, full of their revived passion for each other.

"That's you and me," Syaoran said. "I'm in you, moving... thrusting... loving you." He brought his lips closer to her ears as he pulled her into a tighter embrace. "They call it sex, fucking...I call it making love to my Sakura." He then closed his eyes and increased the pace of his thrusts into her as Sakura also began to move faster against him, panting and kissing his face rapidly.

Soon, she began to come, and Syaoran let himself go so that he could come with her; she moaned as she felt his warm seed spill into her, and he groaned into her ear.

They stayed joined for a while, Sakura planting butterfly kisses on Syaoran's nose and cheeks.

"Thank you," Sakura whispered.

"I didn't do anything," Syaoran said as he stroked her hair.

"You made love to me," she smiled up at him as he slid out of her and, as usual, passed her some tissues.

"And that's something to be thankful for?" Syaoran chuckled. "Am I ever lucky to be marrying you then."

Sakura giggled and curled into him; soon, she drifted off into sleep. Syaoran stayed awake, holding her. He'd been drawing on his magical reserves, having gotten less than two hours of sleep a day as he watched over Sakura. But today, he felt confident enough to let himself fall asleep.

Had Sakura known, she would have felt even worse...but he decided to rest so she wouldn't worry. He could tease her about it later. She was worth everything he'd done; a small smile curved Syaoran's lips.

"I love you, my little blossom," he whispered as Sakura rolled over and pressed herself against him. "No matter what."

And he smiled when she responded sleepily, "Silly wolf. I love you too."

She was finally where she belonged, again. And so was he.

Outside the door, Yelan and Mei Ling smiled as they saw the glow fade.

"Guess they worked it out," Mei Ling smiled.

"Good. Now let's prepare to welcome the interesting boy who's coming here...the one you saw in your dream," Yelan said.

"So he's not Syaoran?"

Yelan smiled tenderly. "No. I think he is my grandson."

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**You should thank parma violets and CheeseyCraziness for the fact that the next chapter is already begun, and I hope to post it soon!**

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**A preview—no TWO previews:**

**Preview 1:**

_Fong Tian was walking home with her groceries for the week. It was an ordinary evening, and she hummed as she put her key into her lock. She tossed her auburn hair aside and dropped her groceries on the kitchen table, her green eyes sparkling with life and good humor._

_When she switched the light on, she gasped. One of the most handsome young men she had ever seen stood in her doorway. He had tousled auburn hair like hers, high cheekbones, a slender build, smooth skin--save for a few scars here and there--and the most dramatic thing about him, one blue and one brown eye. He was clad in ordinary jeans and a shirt, but there was a strange air about him, like he wasn't comfortable in his own skin._

_"Uh...Can...can I help you?"_

_He entered her house, eyeing her impassively as he shut the door behind him and looked at her. She looked close enough to Sakura for what he needed._

"_You'll do," he said emotionlessly as he stepped towards her and began to strip off his shirt._

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**Preview 2: **

_Shaoron Clow stood in front of Li Manor and finally raised a finger to press the ornate doorbell. Before he could complete the gesture though, the gates slid open._

_A beautiful woman with waist-long black hair and burgundy eyes stood there. She looked Shaoron over, then suddenly smiled._

_"You're just as handsome as Syaoran was at your age," she said. "I knew you were coming."_

_"Er..." and Shaoron bowed hesitantly, "I...my name is Shaoron...Miss Li?"_

_"Oooh, how cute!" Mei Ling clapped her hands. "You even have a variation of Syaoran's name...hmm, little dragon, guessing you..."_

_"Welcome," another voice came, and Shaoron turned to see a tall, elegantly beautiful woman—Yelan Li, mother to Syaoran Li. She was formidable, and Shaoron could sense the magic in her was quite powerful, and he was somewhat intimidated until she __placed a hand under his chin, looked at his eyes, and smiled. "Such a handsome boy. So like Syaoran." Then she straightened up. "I see you have the Cards with you. You just missed Sakura and Syaoran, though. They're on their way to Tomoeda."_

_"Tomoeda?" Shaoron's eyes grew wide. "No...they can't be!"_

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**Author's notes**

1. If you're confused, let me explain that there is Syaoran Li, who is marrying Sakura Kinomoto. He is our hero. Shaoron Clow is cloned from Syaoran; if you follow Tsubasa, he corresponds to the original personality of the Good Clone Syaoran there. He is searching for the girl he loves, the clone Princess Sakura from Tsubasa. The reason why they have new names here (Shaoron Clow and Mei Xing) is because they do not have names—only borrowed ones—in Tsubasa. The rapist is the current incarnation of the Clone in Tsubasa—the evil one who ate Fai/Fay's eye in the OAV and the manga. The reason for the title has already been revealed: the reason why the events of the story came about is because of the many "hes" in the story who want something.

2. This chapter is for butterfly.KISSU who figured out what was going on and why what happened last chapter happened.

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**My thanks to those who reviewed; I really appreciated it because I thought for a while chapter 12 would be the worst received chapter of them all! **

**AngelEmCuti**, thank you so much! I hope that this chapter (all the way to the end) keeps you interested! **lhaine07**, haha! It was meant to creep you out; while Evil Clone is not a stereotypical bad guy, relax, he will so NOT get away with it! **CheeseyCraziness**, here's your oh so happy lemon XD **SakuraLover**, thank you for being so patient! Good luck with uni! **winterkaguya**, oooh, you have no idea how close you are, and yes, Sakura would want more than one child! As you know Fai does piss Mei off in my other fic XD hope this happy scene between SxS is something you like reading! **rondallagurl**, whew! kaloka sa public school noh? Poor Syaoran at the start of this chapter! **xXxCherryBlossomxXx**, i luff you too! **meow-mix23,** here's your quick update, and wish me luck on the next chapter! **iNuQTpIe**, as you see, they are stronger now :D **Raine793**, sorry if you were shocked but you will see the scene was needed. _Plus buti nga ikaw 4th e ako, haha_! **Musette Fujiwara**, Shaoron is meant for Xing Mei. The evil clone and rapist is the one who wants Syaoran's life. Thank you for noticing how hard I worked on the feelings of Sakura! **butterfly.KISSU**, thank you for paying such close attention, so see the dedication above! Yes, this is important to the ending. **Mystic Moon Empress**, I couldn't make the scene too detailed as it would terrify me. Thank you for the review!


	14. The Breath Before the Plunge

**Chapter 14**

**The Breath Before the Plunge**

_To everyone: I'm very very sorry for the long delay in updating. A lot of things happened. Anyway, since it's been so long since I've updated (I am so sorry, but life gets in the way; work took me out of town for two months where there was no internet or cell phone signal—my idea of hell) here's a recap of the story so far. Author's notes at the end, and I would dearly love comments and reviews to see if this is still working! Oh and I posted this ahead of my projected schedule, whee!_

**Rated M for a reason; adult situations in this chapter so if you don't like that, please click the back button! **

**You can scroll past this summary if you like to the continuation of the story itself.**

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**The Timeline, Revisited**

(Note: This story crosses over with Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle; however, you needn't read the manga to read this story.)

_Sakura and Syaoran have found each other again after they both failed the Last Judgment. Sakura lived in a dream world for years—away from her family—and her physical growth was slowed, such that she is now six years younger than Syaoran and Tomoyo. _

_Everyone involved with the Clow Cards lost their memories as a result of their failure—Sakura's being the result of Syaoran's interference—and Syaoran suffered the most, becoming a cold, heartless person, searching constantly for someone who would fill the void in his heart. Along the way he broke several hearts—always of women who looked like Sakura—because he was subconsciously searching for her._

_Once the power of the combined wishes of Sakura, Syaoran, Yelan, and Mei Ling brought Sakura back to Hong Kong in the real world, Syaoran quickly found and wooed her. Initially intending to seduce her and force her into marriage with him—as he needed a wife to claim the Li corporations as his own—Syaoran was surprised when she changed him, and he fell deeply and truly in love for the first time since he'd lost her. A whirlwind and passionate love affair that ended in an engagement resulted, and Syaoran returned to the gentle, kind person he truly was. He confessed the truth about his intentions to her once he'd proposed, and learned to his joy that Sakura loved him back with all her heart, forgiving his manipulations and desperate deception._

_The couple thought their happiness was complete, especially when Tomoyo entered their lives again. Slowly and one by one, everyone regained their memories—all but Syaoran, who also has no idea that the others have their memories back. It remains to be seen whether his lack of memories will have grave consequences for him._

_Meanwhile, Eriol Hiiragizawa, reincarnation of Clow, bartered half of his powers away to save a boy from another world called Clow named 'Syaoran' and his beloved Princess 'Sakura'. As this 'Syaoran' had almost died trying to protect his 'Sakura', Eriol managed to save only his soul. Thus Eriol was forced to clone Syaoran Li immediately after the latter failed the Final Judgment in order to give a body to the 'Syaoran' of Clow he had rescued. _

_In truth, this 'Syaoran' was a surviving, good fragment of the soul of Sakura Kinomoto and Syaoran Li's future son. This fragment, who grew from half the heart which the true son had given to his clone, had nearly died trying to protect the girl he loved—Princess 'Sakura,' herself likewise a clone. __Eriol placed the Princess 'Sakura' where Sakura Kinomoto used to live in the dream world, thus keeping the girl safe from harm until her beloved could find a way to her again._

_Eriol and his wife Kaho Mizuki raised the boy in the body cloned from Syaoran Li as their own, training him in magic and teaching him to gather the Clow Cards in hopes that he would become the Cardcaptor. The boy, who regained his memories of his past life, eventually chose the name Shaoron Clow and is working with Cerberus—and a reluctant Yue—to try and save Syaoran Li._

_This is because the last Clow Card (and potentially the most powerful against both Sakura and Syaoran), Dream, has been subverted and controlled by the evil being who was cloned from the future son of Syaoran and Sakura. The son, in a desperate attempt to forestall a terrible future, sent part of his soul into this clone; this fragmented part of his soul became Shaoron, constantly battling for control against the soulless creature that he shared the body with. _

_The clone, however, has arrived in Hong Kong; he took over the body entirely once Shaoron nearly died in the attempt to protect his own loved one, and developed his own personality and memories. His agenda is uncertain, but he is obsessed with Sakura Kinomoto. _

_Now the clone has found Sakura and Syaoran. __He has killed his master and creator, and absorbed the man's powers. Originally intending to steal the Clow Cards and the couple's powers, he found himself wanting to be Syaoran Li, and lusting after Sakura. The clone managed to rape Sakura in a dream, causing a rift to open between the lovers. In the meantime, the clone is preparing to usurp Syaoran's life. _

_A revelation from Mei Ling, who has been having strange prophetic dreams, allows Sakura and Syaoran to reunite, their love stronger than ever...and now, they are on their way to Tomoeda to find her family._

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_

**And now, on with the story:**

Along Fashion Walk in Central, Hong Kong, Fong Tian was walking home with her groceries for the week. It was an ordinary evening, and she hummed as she put her key into her lock. She tossed her short auburn hair aside and dropped her groceries on the kitchen table, her green eyes sparkling with life and good humor.

When she switched the light on, she gasped. One of the most handsome young men she had ever seen stood in her doorway. He had tousled auburn hair like hers, high cheekbones, a slender yet muscled build, lightly tanned skin, smooth save for a few scars here and there—and, the most dramatic thing about him, one blue and one brown eye.

The eyes were hypnotic. Though the young man held them open narrowly, his eyes seemed to bore straight through her, into her soul. She wanted to drown in them, but her eyes were dragged away because the stranger was attractive in an earthy, animalistic way.

He was clad in ordinary jeans, a plain white shirt that showed off his lithe muscles, and trainers, but there was a strange air about him, like he wasn't comfortable in his own skin. Indeed, everything he owned seemed new—and it was; with his magic, anything he wanted came to him easily.

Except for the one woman he wanted most.

"Uh...Can...can I help you?" Fong Tian asked tentatively. She smiled so that the young man wouldn't feel she was rejecting him. It was as if she couldn't turn him away.

He entered her house, then eyed her impassively. She would do, if she wasn't a virgin. Then he spoke in a husky voice. "Have you had sex before?"

Fong Tian stared at him. "Excuse me?" What a strange question. While she wasn't a prude, it was a weird thing to be asked.

"Virgins are of no use to me. Have you had sex?" he repeated in his deep, husky, yet somewhat flat voice.

Was he making a pass at her? Fong Tian was aware that she was rather pretty; she knew she resembled the fiance of one of Hong Kong's most powerful men—who resembled this young man, come to think of it. "Y...yes...with my ex-boyfriend."

He nodded, then shut the door behind him. He abruptly took her in his arms, making her squeak; her voice was suddenly cut off when he waved three fingers; a purple ribbon of...words?...came out and wrapped itself around her throat. He then removed her clothes; Fong Tian found she could not scream, because he was carefully stripping her, even folding her clothes neatly and laying them on a chair. His hands gripped her wrists tight, though not painfully, then he carried her to the bed, removing his clothes just as carefully.

As he laid her down, he was oddly gentle. Then he spoke. "I will kill you if you scream for help. But I am going to have sex with you." She stiffened, eyes wide open in confusion—why she didn't feel fear was something she would later wonder about. "You will tell me if what I am doing is pleasurable. And do not lie; I will know."

His mismatched eyes glinted, and Fong Tian whimpered wordlessly but nodded—she would cooperate. Perhaps he was a devil, or a ghost, or a sorcerer; she knew not which, but she knew enough not to thwart him.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"My name..." and he hesitated. He shook his head as though annoyed at himself, then he looked at her again. "I am going to be Li Xiao Lang."

"Going to be? What...But you can't be Xiao Lang Li—I know what he looks like and...Oh!" He had grabbed a fistful of her hair; Fong Tian cringed.

"My name is...Syaoran. Call me that...or else," he said in a low voice.

"S...Syaoran," she gasped; he was hurting her.

Noticing her reaction, the false Syaoran released Fong Tian's hair. "Did that hurt? Let Syaoran make it better. Tell me what you want me to do to you," he crooned almost tenderly.

She cringed and backed away from him, tears brimming in her eyes. The clone was forcibly reminded of how Sakura had reacted when he had taken her in the dream, and realized he would have to be less threatening in order to get what he needed from this lookalike.

Fong Tian was surprised when the young man suddenly softened his expression, almost smiling. With that kind of face on, he was stunningly handsome. He pulled her close, and she felt the hardness of his erection bobbing against her stomach; he was a head taller than her.

The clone had summoned an image of Sakura Kinomoto naked beneath him, and was satisfied when the thought resulted in an erection. He began to kiss and lick Fong Tian roughly, and she protested. He adjusted, carefully lightening the pressure of his kisses as he fondled her breasts. He was strangely sensitive to her, and to Fong Tian's horror, she began to be aroused when he figured out how she liked to be touched. When she began to whimper in pleasure, he raised his head and watched her reactions, repeating the motions that she liked.

For him it was a learning period. He patiently varied his movements to suit the girl's responses. Against her own will Fong Tian began to enjoy herself with the strange young man, who showed no response save for his watching of her.

When he finally penetrated her, he continued to vary his movements as he watched her intently. He varied the speed and depth of his thrusts, his hands continuing to stroke and fondle her breasts and clitoris as he kissed and licked her mouth and neck, until she lost her fear completely and began to cling to him and moan in pleasure, reaching her peak twice. Then he seemed satisfied, and plunged hard into her, climaxing in a series of rapid thrusts that made her scream in pleasure, nearly cramping her toes. She ignored the fact that he had come inside of her, grinding herself into him greedily so she could have one last orgasm.

He let her please herself, then abruptly, he pulled out of her and wiped himself off.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself," he said. It wasn't a question but a statement.

Fong Tian sighed and nodded as she let go of the false Syaoran and collapsed onto the bed, thoroughly satiated. Yes, she had enjoyed herself. The sex had been wild, but gods, this man had made her come so often and so hard...so good.

He did not look at her, but got dressed and simply left her house, carefully closing the door behind him.

It was the strangest yet most delicious sex she'd ever had. She stretched and reveled in the memory of his hands and lips on her skin, amazed and pleased. She lay in her bed in a confused state. Who had he been and why had he done that? He was not the real Syaoran Li, though the resemblance was eerie; she'd seen the man often enough in magazines to recognize him. Was this stranger who had just pleasured her a son? A cousin? A brother?

As the clone left Fong Tian's home, he was evaluating his own performance. He now realized why Sakura had fought so hard against him when he'd taken her in the dream he'd invaded: he had not given her pleasure. And he was somewhat perturbed to realize that he had enjoyed giving Fong Tian pleasure as well.

She knew he wasn't Syaoran Li though, and that was a problem. He would have to adjust his appearance, age himself to Syaoran's level and darken his hair, work on building his body. Then he knew he would have to practice being in a real relationship—and what he had learned of Syaoran Li's life told him where to go next.

Had Fong Tian asked, he would have told her he was learning how to please one woman in particular...the one he intended to be his mate. And that she had only the first in a series of auburn-haired, green eyed women he would pleasure on his way to the woman who would serve as a substitute for Sakura Kinomoto.

Hana Itakashi, ex-fiance of Syaoran Li.

If he could convince her he was Syaoran, then he would have taken one step closer to claiming Sakura as his own, and accessing the power that her love represented to him.

* * *

**How Truth Sets One Free**

Sakura and Syaoran left for Tomoeda, together, the next day on board the Li jet. Syaoran couldn't help but hold Sakura in his arms, reminding her of their first plane trip together and making her giggle happily. Syaoran was happy that she had recovered from what had happened to her; he didn't even like thinking of it, and he hadn't been the victim himself.

But it was simply who Sakura was. She had become progressively more cheerful after opening up to Syaoran, letting him into her pain, and Syaoran himself had been grateful for this.

And so he hugged and caressed her throughout the flight, letting go only after Sakura playfully threatened to initiate them into the mile-high club. Not that Syaoran minded, but since they were close to Tokyo, he reluctantly turned her down, promising a suitably delicious 'punishment' once they got to their hotel.

At the Narita airport, Syaoran's warning sense increased. He couldn't help feeling residual fear after what had happened to Sakura, and so he'd taken the unprecedented step of talking to his mother about what had happened right before they left for their flight.

_Yelan Li was thoughtful. "Sakura's attacker—how did he get into the house? This house is warded against those who are not Lis. Only our relatives and mates are allowed in, along with select servants."_

"_Then perhaps," and Syaoran swallowed, repulsed by the thought, "he is a Li. Sakura was traumatized in particular because she said he looked like me."_

"_No," Yelan shook her head. "No other Li resembles you, Syaoran. And your son, the one I see in visions: he couldn't have hurt, much less raped, his own mother." She smiled as she omitted the rest of her vision: Shaoron Clow was coming to visit the Lis, and he was, in a way, her grandson. She was looking forward to meeting the boy._

"_Could he be...No, it's not possible," Syaoran frowned. "But mother, if this happened in a dream...can Sakura have gotten pregnant from it? Because if she has...I feel it will break her if she has to bear her attacker's child. I can't let that happen to her!"_

"_Not in dreams," Yelan said. "You say you watched her beside you, and the bruises formed as she thrashed in bed?" When Syaoran nodded, she gave out a tiny sigh of relief. "No, son. While a dream can create reality, life cannot be created within a dream. Sakura is safe from that particular indignity."_

"_Thank God." Syaoran unclenched his fists, and yielded to the temptation to curse like a sailor. "I'll kill that fucking bastard if I ever find him! But you know what really pisses me off? I can't protect her from her feelings, from how this shit makes her feel, dammit. I don't want her to hurt anymore!"_

"_Syaoran," Yelan touched his shoulder gently, resisting the urge to smile at his language, "I know you love her but in the end the only one who can truly protect her is herself. As you are both magical beings, I suppose you will always attract this kind of trouble. But the best you can do is to help her, and to be there for her...just as she is for you. Your love makes you two strong."_

_Syaoran smiled, and Yelan's heart warmed. She willingly walked into her son's arms when he opened them for her._

"_Thank you, Mother."_

"_Syaoran. I would ask only one thing of you," she said when he released her. "Trust Sakura. Trust me. We only want the best for you."_

_Syaoran raised an eyebrow, knowing his mother would not explain what she meant. Yelan smiled when she realized he understood. When the time came, then, he would understand why she would make a terrible sacrifice for him._

"You shouldn't be out of my sight," Syaoran murmured to Sakura as they walked to their limousine hand in hand. He was convinced the danger was to her.

"I know what you mean, Syao-wolf," Sakura said thoughtfully. "I feel it too. Like...something's going to happen and it's going to be very bad." She now knew better than to try and face the evil alone; she had learned that she and Syaoran were stronger together. She squeezed his hand, and he gave her a quick, reassuring kiss.

In the vehicle, Syaoran held her close, both reassuring the other with their presence, neither knowing what lay ahead but both determined to face it together.

"Sakura," Syaoran began. "You need to know that you were not fully violated by that...that bastard," he ground out. He repeated what he had discussed with his mother.

Sakura felt a twinge of pain upon being reminded of what had happened to her, along with a small frisson of rage. Syaoran watched her quietly, holding her close.

She understood why Syaoran had decided to discuss it with his mother first. Not that he was disgusted at her having been violated; rather, he worried about her welfare, how she would feel. And she understood that his love for her was complete.

Sakura had never felt so loved in her life—not even with her father, not even with her brother, not Tomoyo. Syaoran had left behind who he had been and changed completely for her sake—and had no hesitations about showing her how much he loved her.

"Thank you," she whispered, and he held her close.

Was it right then for him to be the only one left out of the memories everyone else had regained? Syaoran _**needs **_to _**know**_, Sakura thought. He'd asked the painful question of his mother because he was thinking of her, thinking of what could possibly hurt Sakura. He was thinking of how to protect her without sheltering her—he'd told her about it immediately afterwards, and never stood in her way.

The lack of memories gave Syaoran a disadvantage, Sakura realized. Could it be that he wasn't meant to regain them? But he had always told her that he preferred to make his own destiny, to fight against fate. Syaoran never took things lying down, and his lack of memories would blindside him in the gathering storm which Sakura knew was coming.

And so Sakura made a crucial decision then.

"Syaoran...?"

"Yes, sweet blossom?"

Sakura smiled; she had missed his nickname for her. "I want to tell you something."

Syaoran immediately sensed what she had to say was important, and nodded. Her small hands crept into his, and he raised the divider between them and the driver as they hit the freeway.

She took a deep breath, then said, "I have all my memories back. I know who we are—who we were to each other." She proceeded to tell him about the Clow cards, how he had appeared in her school, how they became friends, and what had happened during the Final Judgment. Sakura's voice was calm and steady, only quavering in parts where she described how bad she'd felt when Yukito turned out to be the false form of Yue, how frustrated she'd been when Syaoran had been beaten by Yue and she was unable to help, how scared and confused she had been up on Tokyo Tower.

He had turned pale at her first statement. Was he afraid of his past? Syaoran was surprised to realize that he was afraid of finding out what had happened to him and Sakura then. But he needed to know. He had to undergo this ordeal of hearing his past from her in order to understand what they needed now.

They arrived at the hotel before she finished, and he held her hand as they moved to their suite. Sakura could sense how disturbed he was, yet he didn't blame her or let go of her. She understood how scared he would probably be; the little Syaoran she'd known tended to go quiet when he was scared. She wanted to take him in her arms and soothe him, but she knew there would be time for that later; what he needed was for her to finish her story.

Once there, they snuggled together in the large bed; Sakura caressed Syaoran's cheek as she continued her story. He was silent, processing all she was telling him. Sakura waited patiently; she knew how important this was to him. His lack of memories had set him on the path to becoming a monster, and now she was giving them back to him, in a way, now that he had changed his ways.

It was like coming alive, and Syaoran felt a large swell of emotions assailing him. So those were the missing months of his life! It was such a relief knowing he wasn't insane, that he truly was connected to Sakura, that he actually had memories for those months, never mind that he couldn't remember them himself.

What an impulsive boy he had been. What a rude, annoying boy! He probed his mind for memories of meeting Sakura and came up with a blank. How could he have insulted her capabilities when they first captured a card together? Sakura could laugh at it now but he was highly embarrassed at how he had treated her, telling her that she was just a child, that she didn't have enough power to gather Clow cards. How he had been with Mei Ling, how he'd become Sakura's friend...and how, though she knew not what she said, Sakura described behavior that Syaoran recognized as him falling in love with her. He smiled. So he'd loved her even then. The thought comforted him and made him smile.

But then there was what he'd done during the Last Judgment. Sakura told him she'd filled in the gaps talking to Tomoyo and Eriol. He had sent thunder at Yue and ruined Sakura's victory over him...sealing all their fates with one impulsive act, one stupid mistake. Syaoran closed his eyes. It was his fault, all of this...if he hadn't attacked Yue, if he'd just waited a little bit more...he'd shattered Sakura's victory with his stupidity.

"Don't," Sakura said sternly, turning his face towards hers and looking into his eyes.

"Don't what?" Syaoran asked.

"Stop blaming yourself. I know your 'blame' face and you're wearing it now. I know what happened affected so many lives but we can't afford to dwell on it now, Syao-wolf, not if we want to prevent the disaster of the world from happening again. Please."

Syaoran hated himself at that moment, because he was unable to resist turning away from her. Instead, she knew what to say to bring him back.

"Syaoran, I'm sorry if I hurt you by telling you all this without you actually having or getting your memories back," Sakura began gently.

"No. No, little blossom, I...I just—don't know how to feel," Syaoran said, turning back to her. "I ruined your life! I...God, Sakura, I feel like a monster!"

Sakura gasped, knowing she was in danger of losing him to his despair, and so she laid a palm gently on his cheek. "Please—just stop! Stop blaming yourself. If you feel you did me wrong then make it up to me by being with me now! Stop looking for a way to punish yourself. I need you here with me now," Sakura said softly. "I need you to love me. And don't tell me that's corny because I mean it!"

"How many times do you need to hear that I love you?" Syaoran finally grinned.

"Now you're teasing me," Sakura murmured. "But how do you feel, Syao-wolf? I can't read your face right now," and she caressed his cheek.

"I don't know what I feel," and Syaoran kissed her forehead. "Thank you. Thank you for filling in the gaps in my life. It's like...No, I don't really remember, but knowing you hold my past in your memories—it's a beautiful thing, sweet blossom. Like part of my life is so entwined with yours that mine can no longer be extricated from yours...am I making sense?" he asked earnestly.

"Yes," Sakura touched foreheads with him. "I wish I could give my memories to you, memories we could share, so you won't have that gap in yours anymore.

"And you ask me why I love you?" Syaoran said, his voice brimming with emotion.

"Again with the sappiness, Syao-wolf," Sakura teased. "What if someone hears us?"

Syaoran smiled and lowered his lips to hers instead of answering, apologizing and loving her with his kiss. _**She loves me**_—the thought tolled in his head, and with each repetition, he felt his heart swell. _**She loves me enough to trust me with the memories we share. **_He felt ready for anything the world could fling at him, so long as he had her love.

Sakura smiled as she pulled away. "I feel that it's important for you to know I love you very, very much. Nothing can change that. In my dreams I know something is still coming up, and I don't know what that is. But Syaoran—always promise to come home to me," she said.

"I promise," Syaoran said. "I just wish I had my own memories back—but the fact that I don't means there must be some reason for it...perhaps I should ask that bastard—Eriol?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow at his language. "I don't know," Sakura said. "In my case he came to me and offered me my memories."

"And that he hasn't approached me," Syaoran's voice trailed off thoughtfully.

"That's what worries me, Syao-wolf."

"Me too," Syaoran said as he pulled Sakura closer into an embrace. "Of course I'd be lying if I said I weren't pissed!"

Sakura laughed. "In the face of certain danger, that's what you can think of?"

"Can you blame me? It's like walking into a trap blind and knowing someone you knew, knew about it but didn't tell you!"

Sakura's eyes became thoughtful. "You know what worries me? I haven't had any dreams of warning or dreams of the future in a long time. I used to dream about...about our son," and she smiled. "But I can't see him anymore. Mei Ling..." and she gasped, gripping Syaoran's hand tightly. "Mei Ling dreamt of things, Tomoyo said! She dreamt of what happened to me. I dreamt of the Final Judgment once. Dreams are important, Syao-wolf! So why aren't I having them?"

Syaoran was silent, and Sakura recognized that he was thinking deeply. Presently he said, "I'm not sure. But we should talk to her and to Mother when we get back. And Eriol."

She smiled up at him. "I remember something I was unable to say during the Last Judgment. Mizuki-sensei once told me it was invincible, so I'll say it now. Everything will be all right."

"I like the sound of that," Syaoran smiled. "Everything will be all right."

Both of them suddenly began to glow; the light, they both recognized, was that which emanated from them when they made love. As quickly as it appeared, it faded.

"I think that was a good sign," Sakura said softly.

"I agree," Syaoran said as he kissed her.

She began to kiss his face, her tongue flicking out to tease him. They giggled; ever since they had finally made love again, they had become more playful, more passionate. Their relationship had become more relaxed and loving. Syaoran responded by nipping Sakura teasingly on the shoulders; he was rewarded with a little laugh and gasp.

"Do you remember when we first made love?" Sakura asked as Syaoran gently pulled her blouse off, and unclasped her bra.

"It was in this suite, baby blossom," Syaoran said, smiling as he began to kiss his way to her breasts. He captured one nipple with his thumb and began to fondle it. "Why do you ask?"

"Want to make this special?" she smiled.

"Every time we make love is special," Syaoran said as he kissed her again. He noticed mischief in her green eyes. "Come on. Tell me why your eyes are sparkling," he smiled.

"How about if we should spice things up a bit?" Sakura suggested impishly.

"Like how?" Syaoran paused in his ministrations as Sakura smiled.

"Tomoyo lent me a DVD. It's a Spanish art film," Sakura said. "She said we should watch it together. It's supposed to be about food and making love."

"I think I know that one. And what was your demure best friend doing with such a film?" Syaoran grinned as he left a love bite on top of one of Sakura's breasts.

"She said...oh...mmm, stop...Tomoyo said it was...educational and we should try...it...Ah!" Sakura moaned as Syaoran pushed her breasts together and flicked his tongue quickly over the nipples.

Syaoran's smile turned into a lustful smirk. "Then let's get room service."

"You're hungry?" Sakura asked curiously.

"No. Educational, Daido—I mean, Tomoyo says? I'm up for anything. And I think we," and he snaked a finger down between her thighs, into her panties, "should have the right props as we watch. I think it will be," and he slid his briefs off as he began to stroke Sakura's little nub, "inspiring."

He kept on stroking and teasing her as he called for room service. Sakura had to place a pillow over her mouth to keep her moans from being heard on the phone. Once Syaoran hung up, he pinned her to the bed and tore her panties off, rubbing himself against her, teasing her wickedly, enjoying her sweet sounds of pleasure.

They played with each other, alternating laughter and gasps. Syaoran had the presence of mind to pull on a robe as soon as room service arrived, hiding Sakura under the sheets—though she giggled and the waiter looked in her direction curiously. As soon as the waiter left, Sakura peeked under the cart and noticed small fruits, whipped cream, and honey.

"We're going to make a mess, aren't we?" she said.

"And lots of noise," Syaoran grinned evilly as he popped the DVD into the player. Sure enough, the opening scene showed the two leads staring at each other, and this quickly progressed into various scenes of lustful lovemaking.

Unable to resist, Sakura slipped her hand down Syaoran's robe and stroked him into full arousal—not that she had much to do. Not to be outdone, he slipped his hand down her already wet delta, and soon they were petting like teenagers in front of the screen. Syaoran placed himself between her thighs, rubbing his erection against her wetness, thrusting hard without penetrating her in time to the action onscreen. Finally, he had had enough, and Sakura was begging him to take her. He turned the LCD and DVD player off, and laughingly hauled his fiancee off to the bed, where they slaked their lust quickly, coming almost as soon as he entered her.

They recovered quickly, and Sakura soon discovered the joys of having Syaoran eat off her body, and her eating off his. They laughed uproariously, made a mess of the sheets, and finally, Sakura managed to tie one of Syaoran's hands to the nightstand—the bed had no posts, unfortunately—and aroused Syaoran beyond belief when she spread herself to his fascinated gaze and discovered how she could pleasure herself while watching him play with himself. This time she initiated the sexual connection, riding him with her hips, arousing him beyond belief with her wantonness. They finished up in the shower, where, predictably, they made love again, laughing as they did, loving each other happily.

Later, room service found a fully dressed Sakura and Syaoran calmly preparing to go out for a real meal, fully dressed. The maid sighed softly when Syaoran pinched Sakura's butt, and she slapped his in retaliation; they both began to laugh, and kiss, Syaoran placing more love bites on her throat, only stopping when Sakura noticed the maid, who was blushing violently. Syaoran left her a very large tip, and Sakura smiled and thanked her, adding a cryptic, "Hope you'll forgive us."

_**What a lovely couple,**_ she thought.

She groaned though when she saw what had happened to the sheets. How the hell had they gotten them soaked all the way through? She positively screamed when she saw the mess on the carpet. Now she knew the reason for the generous tip. Sighing, she began to change the sheets, and called for help in shampooing the carpet.

Once she stumbled on the DVD Sakura and Syaoran had been watching, though, she carefully noted the title. Perhaps there was something in there that would help her and her husband in their own lovemaking later.

* * *

**A preview of Chapter 16:**

_Kaho Mizuki-Hiiragizawa held Shaoron's hand gently. "I think Shaoron's already been through enough."_

_"Wasn't it you who once said there is no such thing as coincidence, only fate?" Eriol pointed out, though he was working to conceal a shudder working through him at the thought of what Shaoron would have to face. He spared his son a glance; Shaoron sat quietly, calming his mother with his presence. He smiled at Eriol, his handsome face—so like Syaoran's now—with a hint of resolution and determination in it which irresistibly reminded Eriol of Sakura. "Time and space are vulnerable, no thanks to all the meddling that has been done in it. Nothing can be resolved without taking out the original threat."_

_"I know," Kaho responded wearily. "But I am still a mother, and all I hear is, my son is about to be sacrificed to stop an evil thing that should not have existed to begin with...Don't you care, Eriol?" she demanded as she stood up and confronted her husband. "Shaoron is likely going to die at the hands of this monster!"_

"_What makes you think I don't care?" Eriol finally raised his voice. "I love Shaoron as much as you! I am a father too! But this...all this is bigger than both of us and unless _**he **_is stopped now, in our world, we may even cease to exist ourselves. We're trying to protect everything and everyone we love. And all I can do is watch and wait—and I hate it but I know I must do it. Someone once told me that the hardest thing is to wait and let someone you love go." With this he looked at Shaoron._

* * *

**Dedicated to: parma violets**, as always, for her awesome and insightful comments that helped shape this story (which will not go past 20 chapters). She plowed through this and virtually commented line for line! Also to **Cheeseycraziness **and **xXxCherryBlossomxXx **for keeping me sane despite my awfully long disappearance; and **MikoKagome **and **rondallagurl **for not giving up! Hello to **animelover0328**--Getaway Girls to be ended next month!


	15. Things Begin to Move

**What He Wants**

**Chapter 15**

**Things Begin to Move**

**Rated M for a reason; adult situations in this chapter so if you don't like that, please click the back button! **

**Important note****s: **Wow, a whole year between updates! (hangs head) Sorry about that, life really does get in the way.

**Yes, I know how Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle ended**; _I have copies of everything up to the ending so please don't leave a review that spoils the ending for anyone else. No, I'm not following that because it would mean destroying this entire story. So please assume the Evil Clone in this story never returned after abandoning Sakura in Acid Tokyo. Shaoron, however, is still the Good Clone, and in this story, he was created from Sakura and Syaoran's future son._

_Second, I don't know how long it will take for another update, **because I need help right now regarding the plotline. **I also wonder if anyone is still reading this series, and so I've reread it and I wish I could just rewrite it to make it clearer and to free it from the inconsistency with Tsubasa. But that's only if anyone is interested in a rewrite, or (better yet) in working with me on a joint rewrite project. Please drop me a review or a PM? Thanks!_

* * *

Hana sat in her condominium, curled up on her La-Z Boy in a short yellow nightgown. Six years, she thought. In six years she had not changed; she still wore her hair in the style her ex-fiance Syaoran Li had liked it; she had not changed the décor Syaoran bought...and she still wore the ring he had given her. It made her feel better, having little reminders of him. She had refused therapy after her botched suicide attempt; the scar on her throat—rendered nearly invisible by hours of work by the best plastic surgeons—was her only reminder of that awful time.

She still missed him. She'd thought that his cruel way of breaking up with her and time would heal the pain of his departure. But Hana also understood that, having given up her virginity to him without taking any new lovers, she had shut herself off from the world and obsessed about him.

Tiny baby steps allowed her to break away from the past little by little over the past year or so. She'd even gone one whole day without thinking of Syaoran, and little by little, finally, he began to fade into the past.

But few weeks ago, she had received a lavish bouquet of flowers—peonies, lilies, and anthuria. They were an apology, and she knew that they had come from Syaoran, who liked peonies and who knew she loved lilies. She had been surprised and hopeful, but no note, no call came afterwards, which was par for the course for Syaoran. That he had even made the apology was a surprise in itself.

She sighed. She still missed him. Back when he'd first left her, she felt she couldn't breathe; living through minutes, hours, and eventually days without him had been such a struggle. The pain eventually subsided but was still there like a dull throb. Hana wished she could just forget Syaoran completely at times...but she still loved him.

Then she read in the newspaper that he was engaged again, this time to a girl of Japanese descent like her—a Sakura Kinomoto—her already shattered heart had torn apart a little more. In the accompanying photo, Syaoran was holding his new fiancee differently; the Syaoran Hana had loved had refused to display affection in public, and certainly would not have been caught dead nuzzling his fiancee's neck affectionately as he embraced her. He preferred to keep his passions private. Hana felt a little jealous, especially when she saw Sakura.

_**She looks like me!**_

The unfairness tore at her, and Hana could feel old wounds reopening. Why had he chosen someone who could have been her sister?

But Sakura was more beautiful than her, Hana noted enviously: her long hair cascaded down her back in large C-shaped auburn curls; her cheeks glowed rosy with happiness; and her green eyes were large and thickly-lashed.

Hana knew better than to think Syaoran had chosen Sakura out of some old loyalty to her; the women he'd taken up with after Hana all resembled her in some way. She'd realized it was a fetish of his once she gave up thinking it was because of her.

But she still longed for Syaoran, despite the cruel way in which he had discarded her, the way he'd refused to take her calls or see her, the way he had never even visited when she had tried to kill herself. Because when they had been together, he had been gentle and tender. Because when he had loved her—even though he'd never said the words—she had been his world. Hana knew she would never find another who loved like he did.

Or perhaps it was her obsession with him talking.

She'd lost count of the number of times she had prayed to various gods, made sacrifices, and cried begging for someone, anyone to hear her prayer: _**bring Syaoran back to me in any way possible**_.

Someone listened.

* * *

Somewhere in his travels, the young clone had learned how to operate computers. Now, in this world, he had found a wealth of information on Syaoran Li. He carefully processed the information to find what was advantageous to him, and discovered that Hana, his first fiancée, had attempted suicide when Syaoran had left her.

The clone smiled, a strange expression that was devoid of real pleasure. Here at last was the test he needed—and the position he wanted. Hana was a wealthy heiress for a pharmaceutical company, and if he could win her, then he could learn how to seduce the one he truly wanted with Hana's unwitting help.

Several days later, as Hana was watching her favorite crime show, she began to review for her licensure examinations; she had taken up interior design after her broken engagement, and found she had a knack for it. Tired, she glanced at her once-engagement ring, then drifted off into memories of Syaoran; they comforted her these days as she only chose to focus on the better memories.

A buzz brought her back to reality, and she turned down the TV. When she looked through the peephole, she nearly fainted. _**It can't be!**_

Standing there was someone who looked almost exactly like Syaoran. His hair, his lips, his height, his build...it was Syaoran back from the past, still looking as he had six years ago.

Hana opened the door slowly and asked, "Who are you?"

"Call me Syaoran," he said expressionlessly.

"What?" Hana asked, bewildered.

"I will be him, soon," he said quietly. Not that she could possibly understand what he meant.

Hana noticed that he did not smell like Syaoran; his scent was musky. She raised her head in confusion; he merely looked at her calmly. Only then did she notice his eyes. One was blue, and the other, the amber she loved.

"Are you really Syaoran?" she asked. She was preparing to close the door, unsettled by this strange young man.

"For you, I am," he said quietly.

"But what is your real name?"

Still without any expression, he responded, after a pause, "I don't have one." Then he bent down to kiss her—hard.

The kiss was not Syaoran's kiss; Hana still remembered how tenderly Syaoran could kiss, how patient he was at coaxing loving responses from her then-innocent body. This—this was wild, passionate, almost animalistic.

"Hana," he said softly. "Do you want me?"

"I..." Hana's eyes filled with tears.

"I can be him for you," the clone said in the husky tones he had seen in the movies he'd watched. "Let me in. I need you."

Dear God how long had she waited for those words! Nothing else mattered now. Whoever he was, he was her Syaoran now, and she would give him anything he wanted so long as he didn't walk away again. He seemed to sense her capitulation.

"Call my name, then tell me what you want," he whispered into her ear as he laved her earlobe gently with his tongue, sending a wild thrill through her.

"Make love to me. Please," Hana begged, "please, Syaoran. Don't leave me, Syaoran."

"I won't," he said.

She let him explore her mouth with his tongue, let him slide the nightgown off her shoulders and fondle her small breasts with his hands. His fingers were calloused, and she whimpered in pleasure as he began to suckle on her nipples. He bit her hard and forcefully; she knew her shoulders would be covered in bruises the next morning but God, the way he aroused her...He pushed her backwards, against the wall, as he thrust his hips between her legs and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He rubbed his growing erection against her crotch, and when her eyes flew open, she noticed he was watching her responses carefully.

"Wait...no...inside," Hana gasped, as he ripped her panties off. "Not...here..."

He understood, and carried her into her condominium. Somehow he knew where her bedroom was, this false Syaoran. It increased the illusion that Syaoran had come back to her. Gasping and kissing like starving animals, they landed on the bed. His eyes were never off Hana; it was like he was drinking in her reactions to him and taking pleasure from it.

Hana no longer cared that this was not truly Syaoran. Was he a son or perhaps a cousin, she wondered as she worked on getting his clothes off. Soon, she stopped wondering; his erection sprang up in front of her, and she moaned softly before pressing her breasts together and encouraging him to thrust his hardness there; long ago Syaoran had liked that little fetish.

He finally closed his eyes, though his face was still somewhat blank, when he pushed himself between her breasts. Hana smiled; he clearly liked it. While he did not close his eyes, he thrust hard, and she flicked her tongue out to lick the tip, tasting the liquid that leaked from his erection's head. When she noticed he'd hardened nearly to the point of orgasm, she took it into her mouth.

Syaoran had loved it when she wound her tongue around his arousal when she pleasured him, and this false Syaoran loved it even more, thrusting hard into her lips, grunting and finally groaning out loud as he orgasmed, filling Hana's mouth with his seed and not letting her pull away from him, holding her almost cruelly in place as he came.

She choked a bit; Syaoran had let her pull away when she did this to him and he came, but this young man... he thrust hungrily into her, shoving himself as deep as he could. Hana whimpered, but when he pulled her up then pushed her onto the bed, she knew—he was going to reciprocate.

Hana whimpered incoherently as his warm tongue began to lick her slowly, teasingly. He looked her straight in the eye, then pulled up her hips to meet his mouth. He rolled his tongue then slowly penetrated her moistness, at first thrusting it in and out gently, then hard. She was arching her back painfully; a flush came over her cheeks and her nipples stiffened as the dew began to flow slowly out of her. She moaned, "Syaoran," over and over, gripping the bedsheets tight, thrusting her hips back at him as she reached the heights she thought she never would, again, not with anyone but Syaoran.

Soon she was riding him, her hips almost a blur as she screamed her pleasure above him. He was thrusting hard into her, his hands bruising her breasts as he squeezed them almost painfully, watching her eyes intently.

Hana let go and screamed into her orgasm when his seed filled her. _**Perhaps I'll become pregnant, **_she hoped, and smiled as she collapsed onto his chest.

He wiggled his hips, and incredibly, he began to go hard inside her again. Her passage still slick with her wetness and his seed, Hana closed her eyes and moaned; the sensation was incredible.

He held her hips in place, then looked into her eyes. Hana focused only on the amber eye, and gasped, "Syaoran!"

His eyes glinted; clearly he liked the name. And he rewarded her by making her reach orgasm so many times, she nearly passed out from the pleasure; each time he thrust into her, she called him Syaoran, over and over until in her mind, he and Syaoran blurred into each other and he was her Syaoran.

"I love you," she gasped after a particularly shattering orgasm.

"Good," he said, and when she fell asleep, he stood at the window, still naked, watching the Hong Kong cityscape, brightly lit even late at night. Once he became Syaoran Li, this world would be his. He allowed the one Clow card he had captured to materialize; it had turned purple from his influence, and did his bidding completely. Soon it would be time to take Syaoran Li's place.

And soon it would be Sakura Kinomoto who would writhe in pleasure beneath him. He would have her love, and with her love, he would find the greatest power: the power to be a man in control of his own destiny. He had long since figured out that whenever Sakura and Syaoran made love, they bolstered each other's powers. Sakura was the key, he discovered when he'd raped her in the dream; he'd enjoyed a delicious surge of power.

Li would never learn this; he was not focused on finding and keeping power. While he was still dangerous, his lack of knowledge—and that tiny seed of self-doubt and guilt over Sakura that the clone sensed in Syaoran—would be crucial.

Syaoran Li had to die by his own hand, and he would make sure that Syaoran would willingly go to his own death.

* * *

_It __is a trap_, Yue explained. _An elaborate trap designed by a madman_. The rape of Sakura in the dream was not intended to impregnate her; even the clone did not have the kind of power required to make dreams reality. Eriol sighed; thank God, this meant Sakura had not truly been violated then.

The dream assault had been designed to throw her relationship with Syaoran off, to drive the lovers apart. Yue was vehement with his warnings: the clone intended to lure Syaoran into a trap and, from what he could see, kill him and take his place. Then he intended to hunt the Clow cards down; if he knew Shaoron was alive, he would slaughter and absorb Shaoron's powers as well.

Kaho Hiiragizawa had finally cracked at this news.

"Is there no way to stop him now?" she asked the agitated Moon Guardian.

"Yes," Eriol said softly, hesitantly. "By making sure Sakura will never conceive, or if she does, by aborting any male fetus she carries. But that means our Shaoron in the end will also never have existed. He is, after all, a fragment of their son's soul."

A long silence, in which Kaho held her son's hand tightly in hers, squeezing it almost convulsively. Eriol crossed over to them and ruffled Shaoron's hair. Father and adopted son exchanged looks; they understood what was at stake.

"Even if we try to stop the clone ourselves, how sure are we that the madman who started this all won't find a way to bend time and space and start again, this time ready for us and able to anticipate our moves?" He held up a hand as Kaho began to protest. "Timelines and dimensions have already been polluted by that madman and the memory feathers – reservoirs of immense power – that he's released in them. No, I will have to face him and eliminate him once and for all...here, in our world, where it all started."

"Who the hell is he anyway?" Kaho asked the key question.

"I do not know, but I do know that he is connected to my original incarnation somehow," Eriol said. "Believe me, Kaho, love, I would stop him if I could but there is a limit to the interference I can make. Only Shaoron can stop them now."

Kaho held Shaoron's hand gently. "I think Shaoron's already been through enough."

"Wasn't it you who once said there is no such thing as coincidence, only fate?" Eriol pointed out, though he was working to conceal a shudder working through him. "Time and space are vulnerable, no thanks to all the meddling that has been done in it. Nothing can be resolved without taking out the original threat."

"I know," Kaho responded wearily. "But I am still a mother, and all I hear is, my son is about to be sacrificed to stop an evil thing that should not have existed to begin with...Don't you care, Eriol?" she demanded. "Shaoron is likely going to **die** at the hands of this monster!"

"What makes you think I don't care?" Eriol finally raised his voice. "I love Shaoron as much as you! I am a father too! But this...all this is bigger than both of us and unless he is stopped now, in our world, we may even cease to exist ourselves. We're trying to protect everything and everyone we love. And all I can do is watch and wait. Someone once told me that the hardest thing is to wait and let someone you love go."

"Can't you do something?" Kaho pleaded.

Eriol half-chuckled, half-sighed. "This coming from someone who used to talk about destiny and inevitability with Touya and Sakura? Shaoron knows all the risks, and that this is his second chance at life. He could have chosen to not become the Cardcaptor, to live a quiet life and find another love. But he has chosen his destiny; he does not want worlds collapsing, futures—and people—dying. Please, love, don't make it look like I'm sending him off unprepared. He knows his options, has been prepared with the information he needs..."

"Mother," Shaoron said softly, "Please. You taught me that everything happens for a reason. I understand the necessities of my position. And... with the Cards, Cerberus, and..." he looked at Yue, "perhaps the Moon Guardian by my side, I will not fail. Even if..." and he paused to draw a breath, "even if I die, I will at least have prevented some of the catastrophe awaiting us."

Kaho embraced the boy, refusing to cry. "Know then that your father and I love you, Shaoron."

"I always have known, just as I always have loved you both," Shaoron smiled. He kissed her back, hugged his father, then turned to Yue and Cerberus. "We need a plan."

"We'll make one," Eriol said softly. "Yue, Cerberus... my son... is in your hands."

"We won't fail," Cerberus said softly.

"And you, Yue?"

Yue did not smile. "If we survive this, you will owe me an explanation of why you are still alive."

Eriol smiled. "I'll give it to you now. I'm not Clow. I merely have his memories as I was part of him."

"Father?" Shaoron suddenly said. "Didn't you once say there is a yin to every yang, black to white, an opposite to all? Then," and Shaoron looked excited, "could there be a counterpoint to the Clow cards?"

Eriol smiled. The one thing he could not reveal... his son had figured it out. The existence of the Void card, whom his memories had only revealed to him recently. "That, I believe, can now be part of our plans." Five heads were put together, and they carefully outlined a way over the next few days to defeat the evil clone, giving Shaoron the location of something he would need.

What they did not count on was that they thought they knew what the evil one wanted: power. It wasn't. And it would fall to Shaoron to figure out another way to defeat the evil in their world.

* * *

Shaoron hesitated at the gates to the sweeping driveway of Li Manor. He was a little scared; he was supposed to have left his parents a week ago, as soon as he'd had the horrible nightmare in which he'd seen poor Sakura raped, but the sudden appearance of Yukito Tsukishiro had delayed him. The false form of the Moon Guardian had been agitated, and finally Yue himself had taken over and explained everything.

And now here he was, preparing to face the Lis. His other family, so to speak. Understandably he was nervous.

He stood in front of Li Manor and finally raised a finger to press the ornate doorbell. Before he could complete the gesture though, the gates slid open.

A beautiful woman with waist-long black hair and big, burgundy eyes stood there. She looked Shaoron over, then suddenly smiled. "You're just as handsome as Syaoran was at your age," she said. "We knew you were coming."

"Er..." and Shaoron bowed hesitantly, "I... my name is Shaoron Clow... Miss Li?"

"Oooh, how cute!" Mei Ling clapped her hands. "You even have a variation of Syaoran's name... hmm, little dragon, guessing you..."

"Welcome," another voice came, and Shaoron turned to see a tall, elegantly beautiful woman. She placed a hand under his chin, looked at his eyes, and smiled.

Certainly he was almost Syaoran in miniature; given though that he had been a soul placed in a body cloned from Syaoran, it was inevitable. Yet Yelan could see the sweetness that tempered Syaoran's impetuosity in Shaoron; clearly, it was something he'd gotten from Sakura.

_**Blood always tells, **_Yelan mused; _**his soul was formed from Sakura and Syaoran, and he retains their influences**_. Yelan stroked the boy's cheek; the young boy smiled tentatively, somewhat intimidated as he could feel the immense power radiating from this magnificent, dark-eyed woman who had birthed Syaoran Li.

"I see you have the Cards with you," Yelan said once her inspection of Shaoron was done. "But where are your Guardians?"

"Father says this is the safest place for anyone now," Shaoron said slowly, then he bowed. "They await me at the hotel."

He thought that Yelan Li was radiantly beautiful despite her age; perhaps it was that power, that control he sensed that made her seem immortal. "Li Yelan-sama?" he asked, smiling when she nodded. Then he bowed to Mei Ling. "Forgive me, I do not know which of Li Syaoran-sama's sisters you are..."

Mei Ling began to laugh. "Auntie, he is so cute! Aww...I can't wait till Sakura gets pregnant! He is going to be such a lovely baby! Do you have a girlfriend? Goodness, I hope I get to change your diapers and see you spit up and..."

Shaoron wore an embarrassed smile, unable to decide how to respond to Mei Ling. Yelan smiled kindly at Shaoron. "This is Li Mei Ling, Syaoran's cousin. Do not be alarmed; she has become more...exuberant since getting her memories back."

Shaoron nodded. "Don't you need to verify who I am?" He was moving his hand towards the Key he wore on a chain around his neck.

"Your father called. And I sense the Clow cards on you. Come, Shaoron. Let us share a meal before you tell us why you're here. You just missed Sakura and Syaoran, though. They're on their way to Tomoeda."

"Tomoeda?" Shaoron's eyes grew wide. "No...they can't be! The trap; it's **there**!"

* * *

"Home," Sakura said as she and Syaoran stepped into the Narita airport for the second time that year. "With you."

Syaoran squeezed her fingers. "It feels different, now that I know what happened to us here."

"I know. I am a little scared," Sakura confessed, "but I want to see my family as well."

He looked away. "But would they want to see the one responsible for all this mess?"

Sakura moved closer to him and hugged him. "I love you. They have to accept you, especially since you brought me back."

He hugged her back. "Sakura, I am amazed at your infinite capacity to love and forgive."

She giggled. "If I can't do that for the boy I loved, and the man I love now, then who else can I do it for?"

"Thank you." He dropped a kiss on her upturned lips. "We'll face this together."

"And everything will be all right." Sakura smiled.

They laughed and, hand in hand, went to the waiting limousine.

**To be continued in Chapter 16**.

Please review and if you can, let me know if you're willing to help with plotting out and finishing this story?


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